SHENNIS WORLD...!

this is the same story with a different tittle...
i have a big QUESTION.... WHY those feelings EXISt..???
one thay when i was talkin with a fang... he was telling me the importance of being a human been... and whe n he gave me his point i bearly believe him and even i started to think that way and i begin to be thankfull but when stuff like this happen, and im talkin about desilutions... then i lose all my sense and ideals.
i begin to think that whyy man... fuck why do we have to suffer men its better being like a fan, and i mean if i had the chance to talk again with the fan i would told him... man if u are saying that is easier to be a human being that a fan then u ARE WRONG... becausee whe u start to feel then.. ur done.
what im tryin to say is that sometimes . feeling bad its not good at all.. i feel like an a stupid.. emo who cant control her emotions and every time that an asshole broke my heart.. ill be cryin a river like an emo suicidal little girl.. and THAT SUCKS... because im that kind of person who doesnt care about anyone or anything... i just live my live and when i feel like i care about someone its so frustrating cuz it hurts and i dont wanna be hurt...

the thing is that i always pick the wrong GUY...and the good ones .. i dont like them.. so heres the thing... if i pick the wrong one then i would cry and suffer and blablaba... if i pick the good one.. i think ill be happy but what happen.. when i say i dont like the good one how can i be with that good fuckin one...when i dont fuckin like him.. SO.. whats the point to keep on this shit... being with someone who i dont like so i can be happy.. that sounds like FUN!...
then ur bst fren tells you.. i knowi t feels like the end of the world but dont be.. everythins its gonna be ok.. " suree... just bcause its not the end of the world is why im trough this hell" cmon... dude.. i wish this would be the end of the world.. sucks..

anyways.. i dont know. what to say ...im losing my way
and i just need to say.. what everythim he broke my heart makes me realize
that i shoul take a side and look back.. . i had looked back and what i see was pathetic soo.. its time for me to live and forget and be... and play