Skip's Home Studio.

Subject: for all those of us on a permanent diet!

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And so they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.


THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

I just got back from an evening listening to a friend's band (Get Carter) in a local bar, and they rocked. I really enjoyed myself. A friend suggested earlier that I should take my camera to record the event but I was unable to use it because the room was so packed that the audience had to do the same dance to the music.

Get Carter

Yesterday was a tough day; with Opera unavailable, I was over-tired, and we had heavy rain. But today the sky is clearing, I have caught up on my sleep and feeling a whole lot better for it. Tiredness effects my condition and so I was getting pretty dizzy.

I want to get up to the woods this next week and sketch some natural backgrounds for the figures I am working on.

We used to have a saying, "If it feels good - do it." And we should - but if it consequently harms someone, it can not feel good. We should all be good for each other, 50/50, win/win. That way we create only positive vibes to combat all of the hate, misunderstanding, and all of the other negative vibes that are hurting us.

I was clearing an overgrown lawn yesterday for someone else. The lawn was a good size and knee high with grass and weeds. All I used to clear it was a pair of garden shears. As I cut away the damp 'undergrowth' there were a few frogs that made their escape to less active parts of the garden. If I had made things easy for myself by using a motorised cutter there would have been a massacre!

This little episode is a very small example of what technology is doing to all living beings on the Earth. A little effort can make a big difference.

I had much to do in my little greenhouse today. I was going over my plants there, closely hunting for red spder mites ( + = ). Because it is such a small place with a lot of greenery in it - the greenhouse is like an oxygen tent and it got me thinking about people who advise us to talk to our plants. As we speak/breathe we are exhaling carbon dioxide which the plant takes in and exchanges it with oxygen. Much the same as our forests

I was working in the garden from first thing this morning, returning to my easel at lunchtime. I was going back out into the garden when I noticed that my garden was very busy with various birds that have come in to feed. I had to stand still at the door for almost an hour as the blackbirds were feeding on snails [the lettuce looked relieved], sparrows were eating the aphids and other bugs off of the roses, a couple of starlings were searching through the lawn and chaffinches joined the feast. Now this may seem insignificant for some, but to me it was amazing to watch. Garden birds are disappearing around these parts and it shows how good gardens are vital to their continueing survival.



Male or Female?

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.


PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.


TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.


HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.


SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.


WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.


TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.


EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.


HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.


THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

on a very wet Sunday morning. (And for those who understand this, 'Yah eh teh').


I love my easel because it takes my mind and efforts from the 'world' and back to the natural. My easel loves me because I give it purpose and my full attention while I am working. To say that we are good for each other is a definite understatement.

How is this for poetic natural justice? The Urbanites here are paving and concreteing over their gardens to make driveways for their cars. Of course, when it rains the water goes into their drainage system instead of it soaking into the earth. Consequently the drainage system is not coping, so that their houses are being flooded out! (Mother Nature strikes back ). You can see what I have to live with, can't you?

We have beautiful weather this week and the garden is blossoming apace. I am working at my easel and listening to Vivaldi's 'Four Seasons'. Both are inspiring. I just thank every single day for being here.

I have made a new online friend today. His designation is 'Ombolan' and his page is well worth a visit.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.


GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

I love being able to work outside again. I have got trays of seedlings on the kitchen windowsill (south facing), ready to go down to the greenhouse. Just to watch each individual seed sprouting into a miniature plant and then growing on to produce it's fruit is always magic. It is a good thing to recognise each individual existence of other natural living beings.