Snorkeys Blog

Wel

Being a recently sold out and fully converted blog-o-sexual I was starting to feel withdrawal symptoms...there is only one cure for this...a post...:|

Well life for this underwater ceramics techinician goes on much as it has this past age, scarely aware of the exsistance of a world, for which the world is truly thankful. :| ...yeah okay I watched Lord of the Rings today...anyway being serious...

Haven't got to much to report though I did have a most amusing encounter on friday...so there I am right sitting in the car waiting for mum to do something in grandy before I went and talked her into buying the biggest TV possible. On my left was a well worn in falcon, and on my right a bright red, massive, F250 truck, taking up two parks. Now here was snorkey listen to some floyd thinkin it was going to be a boring ten minutes... how wrong was he...

To kick the afternoon's entertainment off there was an exceptional preformance by the couple of the well worn in falcon (here after known as Wayne and Shelia), which would have got them on the set of any soapie. They arrived to their noble chariot to find that the key no longer openned it...rigthio fair enough not worth getting cranky about...but they were a set of classics and decided to have a domestic about it right there in the car park. Naturally as an australian male Wayne blamed it all on the woman claiming "I told you to get another fucking key cut 12 months ago". To which she retorted that "You could have fucking got it cut your fucking self if you weren't such a lazy fucking slob". Needless to say I called round one as a win for Shelia, due to the three pronged swear word attack. Anyway this wen't on for a good five minutes by which time I was in gales of laughter, which they obviously noticed and both turned and gave me dagger eyes, before walking back into grand central...Now snorkey thought this would be the end of his entertainment...but how wrong was he...

Just seconds after Wayne, and Shelia left the owner of the F250 rocks up, turns his fuel guzzling monstorsity on to get the air con going, and then produces a bucket of water and window washing squigy, and proceede to wash the "large red things" windows. Not suprisingly considering the thing looked like he washed and buffed it every morning. Anyway after finishing with the window, in keeping with the stereotype, he produced a big curved pipe, stuffed it and lit it...It was at about this point his pride and joy gave a few cough's shuddered and clonked out (this amused me). At this point I noted it sounded like it had run out of fuel. Anyway then the moroon proceeded to open the bonnet up tap somethings and then try to start it again, and again...and well again...and well was still trying when mum rocked up. None the less this had me chuckling again, serves the old guy right for driving a fuel guzzling monstrosity of a lump of steel with wheels just because he could (looked like a retired American if I eva saw it).

Today around 2.30pm I was sitting in the blisstering heat when one of those earth shattering kind of ideas that will change the world forever came to me. I thought "what if I made a bundy and cola spider".

This has a number of advantages, not least of which is the fact it is cold, and contains alcohol. Unfortunately someone has probably thought of this before. I mean sticking one great alcoholic beverage with icecream, it's pretty obvious that this could stop global warming and stuff. Anyway apologies to all those I am stealing credit from.

At this point I would like to place a disclaimer.

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR INJURIES SUSTAINED DURING THIS EXPERIMENT.

So yes needless to say I quickly acquired the required chemicals being, 1x can of bundy and cola, and vanilla icecream.

So yes the first step was to put the icecream in a good sized glass. This leave's only pouring the bundy and cola in. This I did with arm at full extentsion and shying away expecting some kind of explosion which thankfully didn't eventuate...though i can't say it won't in future experiments...

The only thing left is to drink the results, and well quite suprisingly its not to bad at all, it even leaves a funky after taste!

I promise the next part of the schoolies saga is coming soon...

As promised here is the schoolies post...

The Trip:

After much discussion 10am was alotted as the time to meet at Chewies house, at which point we would be met by our luxary people mover and trailer for the trip. Everyone was ready when I arrived, yet our vehicle was nowhere insight. Upon walking up Chewie's driveway with two cartoons of the good stuff it became apparent by the look on Tony's dad's face that he had only just realised we werent going to be drinking orange juice all week. (At this point I said a silent prayer that I had elected to put the other cartoon of grog out of sight in my esky.) This was all quickly loaded into the trailer and soon after the Turner's arrived with their people mover for which we were very thankful for. After a few quick "goodbyes" and "no your not getting 'welcome aboard' tatooed on your penis chris"'s we hit the road...

Many a lunchtime had been spent worrying over what Turner's mum would be like on the trip down considering her beliefs regarding teenagers and doing anything apart from living in a cell..Despite these concerns I was pleasantly suprised to find she was pretty cool about the whole thing...(we dont think she saw the amount of booze we had in the trailer she was towing).

This made the trip pretty smooth apart from a few navigational difficulties and an encounter that can on be classed as dam smelly with a rather large dog turd in Kilcoy. Something I feel I need to elaborate on now...

The Dog Turd:

After around two hours crammed into the car we decided to stop and have lunch in Kilcoy...something my nose at least regrets. After consuming what was a very nice meat pie, and waving to some St Ursula's girls I know who were on the way down, we piled back into the car. It was at this point Chewie recognised the tell tail odour of dog shit and looked at the bottom of his pluggers only to find, yes you guessed it, there was nuclear grade dog shit attached to it. A quick investigation, of which inspector Morse would have been proud (he would also have been proud of the amount of grog in the vehicle I suspect ) it was discovered that Tony had sucumbed to the scarlet manukka of dog shit also, and unlike Chewie had failed to realise before entering the vehicle.

Needless to say we could not travel in a car with dog shit, so a swift clean up operation was arranged, and David managed to recover a bottle of instant shower (for all you girls thats deoderant) to make the rest of the trip a little more comfortable. We were quickly on the road again... leaving behide what looked like a scene out of 'Texas Chainsaw Masacre' only the blood was dog shit on the pavement in Kilcoy.

After this the trip was quite smooth and we soon arrived at our destination.

Just like to note on behalf of Turner's mum she did produce what was the best call of schoolies something which I wont mention now as it was a definate 'you had to be there' call.

The Arrival:

As I myself am a scum I booked me and five mates the cheapest place on the sunshine coast. I must say I myself was pleasantly suprised when we got there on Sunday to find there was in fact no carpet on the walls, and that the apartment was pretty decent. My intial joy at this discovery lasted mere seconds though as I quickly spied the large glass table, and matching coffee table, both of which are the bane of the heavy drinker who wishes to keep their bond. This did however explain the nasty witch lady at receptions not so warm welcome when she realised we were schoolies and that they had put us in such a nice room without a bond. (How she failed to realise six 17/18 year olds booked for a room during that week were in fact schoolies is something I fear we'll never know.) She quickly rectified this by taking Davids' mum's credit card details. Needless to say it wasn't going to be pretty if one of us destroyed either table in one of our drunken stumbles.

To help get over these intial concerns and to recover from smiting the nasty witch lady at reception I quickly cracked my first beer as soon as possible.

On the first night we all had a pretty quiet one in the apartment block we were in, as we had all had a big night at our formal/drinking spirits at Tony's house, and had come a long way. However, during one of my sorties to join Chewie in a lift party and see who was around we did meet Lawrence.

Now this is a sad tale so I suggest you get a strong drink around now...

Basicly Lawrence is one of the poor souls, who out of ignorance, or a sheer organisational oversight booked a family holiday during schoolies week, in an apartment block full of schoolies. Something my astute co-worker Dowling who was staying in a classy caravan park down the road, was quick to point out as we stood waiting for an elevator with him, on our way to a room party with various alcoholic beverages in hand.

(The story of Lawrence will be continued further on...we had many encounters with this poor soul.)

After parting company with Lawrence I can't actually remember what happenned that night but, I am sure we met Steph and Crystal who were staying in the apartment across from us at some point.

To be continued...

Welcome to my first post! I feel at this point it is necessary to apologise to all the perverts on the internet. It is an internationally recognised standard that bloggers make the title of their first post sound like the ensuing will be an account of a sexual act. Yes ladies, gentlemen, and gentlethings I am sorry to report this is not what this post contains.

The first post now out of the way, so begins my blog "seriously".