Saturday, 24. November 2007, 12:00:00
My canary bird, Koki, died yesterday. After 13 years of being with us.
I got him as a gift from my mother when I was 9 and half. We just moved to another town and I had to go to new school. She waited for me after school on a half way to home, and she had a box of canary food in her hands with big smile on her face. I looked into to box - it appeared empty. And there it was, one fluffy birdie. Still almost white-feathered, so young. A baby.
I was so happy to have him! I wanted a canary for some time, back then, and I finally got him.
Oh how he sang! Such a strong voice! Every morning waking us up, so we had to cover him up every night before sleep. My mother had habit of leaving the radio on almost all day long, especially in the mornings while she was making herself coffee and getting ready for work. He wanted to be louder than any music or conversation in room. If there was more than one person talking, or one person talking loudly, he would start singing. If you started talking even more louder to 'outrank' him, he would challenge you for some.
Koki would sing with his head back and feathers all sticking out from his chest, with full strength. I'm sorry I don't have it recorded.
He moved 3 times, together with us. Went through lost of adventures - mean cats trying to eat him; getting caught in his own dangling toy, so we found him hanging upside-down, thread tangled around his claw; running away 2 times through open doors, but never too far...
I had him almost all my childhood. With years I lost interest in being around him much. I was the one who was all eager to give him fruit, water and seeds. I was kissing his beak and he would 'clean' my teeth with it.
My mother took over (and my ex-stepfather, while we lived with him), since Koki was in room with them, closer.
Since we've been living here, and got cats, my mother was taking care of him completely, and she really loved him. She would talk to him and give him lots of attention. I wanted a pet with whom I could interact, and he was already old and deaf and blind, and I didn't want to take him in my hands, so not to stress him out.
For couple of years now, he wasn't singing much, only when we would talk loudly or washing dishes - he would hear that. About year and half back, we got parrot, and that parrot is really LOUD. So, because of her strong voice Koki started singing (well, let's call it singing) again. Every morning crazy duet!
And few months back, he stopped moving much, as jumping from one stick to other. He couldn't reach his water that was a bit higher, so we put down all of his stuff, and he was on the ground. But he was still eating, drinking - fruit, food and vitamins...and make some voices sometimes.
So when my mother opened the door of my room that evening and stood there crying I knew what happened. MY friend Z. was a bit stunned because she didn't understand what's going on...Mother didn't say anything at first but I saw her pose and then noticed she was holding something in her hands, in a paper napkin. I...didn't know what to do. I remember her crying after other 2 birds we had died, but she didn't love them as she did Koki.
It's always a shock seeing woman who went through lots of heavy things in her life, crying like that...
I got up, trying to comfort her, but she turn her back and headed to kitchen, every now and then looking at Koki in her hands. She was restless, like she didn't know what to do...I wanted to ask her what she wants to do; does she wants me to take him to vet so they can 'take care of it' or she wants to do it herself...I tried to tell her that he was old, 13 years is a lot for canary bird, and that he was healthy and fine until the bare end...But she just sat in a chair and I was still calm, but when she unfolded the napkin and started looking at him and kissing his beak, I couldn't hold it anymore...I started crying too. Then after she, as it looked like, said goodbye with him, she said she wants me to bury him somewhere close and nice, under the bushes...I took him in my hands and looked at him - he looked good, not sickish, and he looked like sleeping...I kissed his beak one last time and petted his feathers, and put him into box, took something to dig with, and went outside with my friend. My mother said she wants us to take his cage out right then - she couldn't bare to watch it empty. Z. took it, and left it in front of the trash container.
We found a spot under the cherry tree, where my mother used to pick little twigs with buds for parrot and some sticky plant for Koki.
I started digging and when it was deep enough, I took him out of the box and opened the napkin too see him one last time before I put him in. Then, my friend started to cry when she saw his face...I said something like---well, I can't remember what exactly, but something like "thank you for being with us for all this time, and bringing us joy..." "what you've been through, adventures...", "I hope you were happy with us...". Then I finally put the ground back into the hole, and started covering it fast. Not to accidentally see his face again...
After I was sure I covered it well, I got up and my friend and I hugged and cried a bit together.
I thought after all that time not being close to him, I won't cry...But then I felt guilty for not loving him so much anymore...
Like one part of my life went with him...I had him for 13 years, and it seemed like he was always there. For most of my childhood. My first pet.
And...everything was over so fast. I think it was 15 minutes since mother came into the room, and we buried him. And on the back home his cage wasn't there anymore...someone already took it. And with that, everything was gone. My mother put the calendar where his cage used to be.
But he'll be in our memories.
I don't have any pictures scanned, but I'll try to post them some other time.
!!
(I could go on with smileys...)
