Purple Realm

Officially 1 and a half days since I smoked last. I got a Nicorette Quickmist thingy - basically a "mint" flavoured nicotine spray you can take orally. It is disgusting, it burns, and they think 1-2 sprays is fine. Try half, as each full spray is about 1mg of nicotine.
These nicotine replacement things are stupid. In the gum you have a choice between 2mg and 4mg of nicotine per piece. There's less than 1mg of nicotine in an average cigarette. Don't be fooled, these assholes don't want you to quit. Not successfully, anyway.
Which is why I do a half-press and that will last me 3-7 hours. By the end of the week I expect to be free of both cigarettes and that foul spray.

I want a fucking smoke. Quite honestly I am mostly not succumbing because of the asshole tactics the companies that "help" you to quit are using with the amounts of nicotine in their product. I spent £18 on the fucking spray and I refuse to a) Not use it at that price and b) Need anything more from them, ever again.

My frigging index finger on my right hand is swollen up at the joint nearest the palm. This is the result of more work at Mums and my inadvertently jamming a thorn half an inch into said digit. I did try to squeeze out any germs but apparently that was to no fucking avail.

Stupidly, we did the fortnight's groceries in store yesterday rather than ordering online for delivery. Neither of us had slept much and it was my fist day without cigarettes. I had been really looking forward to it but the whole thing turned into a nightmare from hell and after weeping all the way home in the taxi, I almost had a smoke when we got back. Mik even said it would be okay. But I did not

Fucking foul mood though.

Bastard, bastard, bastard. Trying not to roll up, trying not to eat everything in the house. I haven't lost almost half my fucking body weight just to gain even an ounce back, thanks very fucking much.

RAGE.

Oh, and while I was happily watching the first episode of The Walking Dead, that bitch upstairs that sounds as though she's being brutally murdered every time her guy gets anywhere near her knickers started up with her crap. I did scream at her to shut the fuck up but it inly worked for like 30 seconds.

I will kill them all.

*stomps off*