Purple Realm

Why doesn't Sprite come in a more exciting flavor, like cantaloupe?: Because the chief of the Sprite board of directors has a paralysing phobia of most fruits.
Where'd you get those coconuts? (obligatory Monty Python reference!): From an orange velocipastor. It's a rare breed of ancient, sun loving priest. They only surface from their lairs once every 5,000682 days.
Have you ever tried bubble tea?: I've blown bubbles in my tea through a straw, so... Yes?
Do you prefer zebra stripes, tiger stripes, or leopard spots?: I prefer the fresh skin from a recently-slain Jim Henson creation.
Have you ever held a snake?: I've held a "love-snake", does that count?
What color was the last pill you took?: It was brown.
Why did you take that pill?: Because I craved chocolate. What? It's a drug!
Have you ever tried putting black pepper on mac 'n' cheese? (It's good!): I've put mac n cheese in the bin. My idea is better than yours.
Ever notice how most people look like they should have the name they have?: That's as ridiculous as people telling the parents of a newborn baby that it looks just like them, when really it looks wrinkled, tiny and yoda-like, as all babies do.
Boredom breeds vice. When you are bored, what is your vice?: Blood sacrifice. No? Okay... Being annoying.
Favorite Orbit gum commercial?: How boring is your life that you have a favourite commericial for each brand?
When was the last time you used a film camera?: I used one to photograph the orange velocipastor.
Was it a disposable camera, or a regular film camera?: It was disposable. And, digestable - turns out that orange velocipastor is easily spooked (and appetized) by photographs.
Do you think monroe piercings are trashy?: I think they look like giant silver zits. When I see one, I wish to rip it from the greasy chav skin in which it is embedded.
What would YOU do for a Klondike bar?:I'm sure you would do anything. Whore.
Dark, milk, or white chocolate?: Dark.
What's the fastest you've ever gone in a car?: 500 miles per second.
Name the secondary colors.: Blurple, gred, orello.
What's the thing that makes you most excited?: Now that, my dear moron, is a secret.
What about the thing that makes you the most nervous?: Why? You planning on scaring me?
What was your favorite band when you were a kid?: The first band I remember is Dr Hook. Gran used to play tapes of them in the car. I still know all the words.
Do you ever use words even if you are unsure of their meaning?: I do, actually. You, sir, are a fastichio.
When did you last see a dog?: When I was visiting someone's blog. Some people arrived before me.
What is the name of the store that is closest to you house?: The Corner Shop. Or, the Mardy Git Shop.
What is your favorite smell?: Fresh-squeezed Kitty .
What was the last pop-up that came up on your computer screen?: Aha! Due to the wondrous power of cellphones and Mini, my Nokia is a shield of steel against the Baron Von Pop-Up! Bow with awe before my mighty power!
What is your favorite radio station?: Radio-MyOwnSmeggingPlaylist.
What is your favorite spice?: Rose!
Do you know what the word "facetious" means?: Ah! Don't be facetious, because the face will eat us!
Does/did your school do CIM testing?: Yep. Unsurprisingly, over 90% of the school tested positive for Complete Idiotic Moron syndrome. They had to be put down.
Are you the youngest, oldest, middle, or only child in your family?: None of the above.
As a kid, who did you look up to?: Most people - I was very short!
Finish the lyrics: "Camp Anawanna, we hold you in our hearts...": Can of beans-o-rama, forever in our farts...
When was the last time you were in the hospital?: I was there a few months ago.
Why were you there?: For research on my book. The working title is: "Boredom: The Life And Times Of Someone You Don't Care About But If There's A Picture Of A Crying Child On The Cover, You'll Buy It In Chance Of Revelations Of Riveting Horror"
Ever heard of people who put diapers on their dogs? Why do they do that?: Because either they cannot be bothered to house-train the dog, or their kids have grown up and they want a new baby, or they never had a kid, so decided to buy the closest thing to one.
Who was the last person you talked to on instant messenger?: My imaginary friend.
How many states have you visited in whatever country you live in?: We don't have states here. We have counties. And I don't know... Between 8 and 16?
Have you ever traveled outside your home country?: Yeah.
Where did you go on your travels?: I've been to France, Malta and Ibiza, all as a child. I didn't really like any of them.
If you haven't traveled in internationally, where would you like to go?: I HAVE!
Make up a new sidekick for Batman. What's his/her name?: Dogshit.
What do you put on your scrapes or cuts?: A magic balm made from pixie tears and a herb found only on Jupiter.
How did you get your last injury?: Velocipastor. I've already told you!
Say goodbye.: Byesies

It's 11:20pm, I got four hours sleep last night - and this is when I'm particularly impressionable. Moreso than usual.

What do you get when you add these up:
milk-white British girl who lives for rock + a week of Saint's Row + Four seasons of The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air?

Give up?

What you get is a Kimmie who walks around Leicester city looking for jumps for her pixelated, pimped sports car, blue circles indicating missions, people dressed in red, yellow or green so she can shoot them, (gangs Brotherhood, Ronin, Sons of Samedi) and who keeps on catching herself talking like a homeboy from the 'hood.

I embarrass myself. And I am going to get some much-needed sleep.
Night, y'all .

Who wants to see a picture of Mik naked?
He left the room with a wink last night, telling me to wait while he put on something he bought for me.
"Fair enough," I thought, eyes bright, anticipating what costume he'd be in, I was soon to see!
I opened the door, and moved all the clutter
And fell to the floor as his wings were a-flutter
What happened to Mik, my strong sexy man?
My camera went "click", I turned, and I ran...

So from this picture you all can now see
This surprise was not what I expected it to be!