Face forward - even if not moving forward

I do a lot of audio editing of sermons and teachings at our church; typically 2-3 hours per week. A 25-40 minute presentation can sometimes take up to 2 hours to be hacked down to a smooth audio recording 5-15 minutes less than the raw recording. Some people are a breeze to “edit”, others make me cringe when I know they are going to speak. Watching a person speak or preach masks nervous mannerisms because the mind is distracted by visual cues. When dealing with just the audio alone, the nervous mannerisms tend to leap out—at least to my ears.

Don't get me wrong: I enjoy editing to ensure the audio presentation of their topic flows smoothly to the ears; that it will be heard and understood with clarity. It's a largely unknown and unappreciated aspect of “getting the Word out to the world” via the internet or through CD requests. A huge church in the area also has their sermons available through the internet—but for the sake of expediency, they sacrifice the audio quality for small file size to download. That is unacceptable to my standards—and I don't want to present my pastor or other speakers in a bad way via post-production audio (the file size is significantly smaller than the original, but it is almost as clear). When in front of the congregation, there's nothing I can do to help them....much like Reverend William Archibald Spooner.

It has been said Rev. Spooner did not like having his name attributed to slips of the tongue and transpositions that usually elicit at least a raised eyebrow. The following is lifted directly from Wikipedia. So don't get your kounge in a snot over these things, it apparently happens in many other languages...

Many of the quotations attributed to Spooner are apocryphal; The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (3rd edition, 1979) lists only one substantiated spoonerism: "The weight of rages will press hard upon the employer."

Some of the more famous quotations attributed to Spooner include, "The Lord is a shoving leopard," (instead of "The Lord is a loving shepherd"), "It is kisstomary to cuss the bride," ("It is customary to kiss the bride") and, "Mardon me, padam, this pie is occupewed. Can I sew you to another sheet?" (Pardon me, madam, this pew is occupied. Can I show you to another seat?")

Other purported gaffes include his angry address to a student, "You have hissed all my mystery lectures, and were caught fighting a liar in the quad. Having tasted two worms, you will leave by the next town drain" (intending to say "You missed all my history lectures," "lighting a fire," "wasted two terms," and "down train," respectively). He supposedly remarked to one lady, during a college reception, "You'll soon be had as a matter of course," when he meant to say, "You'll soon be mad as a Hatter, of course." Others include, "Let us raise our glasses to the queer old Dean," ("dear old queen"), "We'll have the hags flung out," ("flags hung out"), "a half-warmed fish," ("half-formed wish"), "Is the bean dizzy?" ("dean busy'), "Go and shake a tower," ("take a shower") and "a well-boiled icicle." ("well-oiled bicycle").

A final one to add lifted from another site:
The famous Dr. Spooner found himself in quite a situation when he was invited to a very formal occasion in England; an occasion at which it was necessary for people to appear in pairs, whether they happened to be husband and wife, significant other, or whatever. And as luck would have it, at the last minute, Mrs. Spooner felt ill, wasn't able to go, and Dr. Spooner hurriedly raced around and found someone else to go with him. As he greeted his hostess, he came up with this particular Spoonerism. Instead of saying "Oh good evening, Mrs. Wellsley. I'm so pleased to be here. And you will be pleased to know that I have, due to the illness of my wife, produced a substitute", he said: "You will be so pleased to learn that because of my wife's illness, I have managed to seduce a prostitute."