Henry

A Suite Move

Saturday, February 11, 2012 5:07:13 AM

Last Monday and Tuesday I helped my mother move from one suite to another in the retirement home where she lives. My Dad has been officially moved into a nursing home as of early January. It's been a rapid downhill slide for my Dad since May of last year. Debbie and I are planning to drive up to see him Sunday, and then visit my Mom afterward.

Last Monday didn't start so well: I had an emergency visit to my chiropractor in the morning because my back had been messed up the whole weekend. Then it was a 2.5 hour drive to her place with a stop to get out and stretch. I kept my back support on for the two days I was at her place. What shocked me was that she hadn't moved one piece of thread from one suite to another in the two weeks that she first announced she was moving. She hates moving, she says. So just like last July, we kids have to do it all.

*grump*

But then it began dawning on me....

She and my Dad have given the best years of their lives to ensure we had food on the table and a roof over our heads. Not to mention all the crap they put up with dealing with professionals and doctors regarding my older brother and all his issues. And there was my sister. And my brother.

I, of course, was no *cough* trouble *cough* at all. The model son.

It's only a little physical pain for a couple of days. Pretty small compared to the big picture of their lives.

As of last weekend, things looked pretty grim for my Dad. He still doesn't seem to be "with it", and keeps telling others about people and things that are not there. If he lives to the wedding day, I will not expect him to come. I'm still planning on getting his boutineer made. Will have to figure out a way to incorporate it into the wedding ceremony programme.

Debbie and I bought a number of glass jugs of maple syrup for the members of the TCG. Big headache: finding an appropriately heavy box that is not too oversized and will not cost a small fortune to send each of the jugs. They shall come, my friends. Someday.

GiftsA Wrong Address

Comments

Annespiritcrow # Saturday, February 11, 2012 1:20:45 PM

oh ignore me asking about your dad in another comment, this is an update already

That's a really good way to look at having to move them again. I imagine your mom is going through a lot emotionally so maybe she is having a bit of a time focusing on moving.

on a happier note, my mom is using my hand blender for the first time while venturing out to make something different for breakfast, a frittata and is all excited over it.

HenrySpicyFlier # Saturday, February 11, 2012 2:42:45 PM

Originally posted by spiritcrow:

oh ignore me asking about your dad in another comment,

Done. Thanks for your concern.

kirsten kirstycat # Saturday, February 11, 2012 2:46:12 PM

So sorry to hear that your dad has been getting worse Henry

I really hope that he is around to see you and Debbie get married, maybe he will still be able to attend the ceremony...or is it quite far away from his nursing home? He must be happy though just to know that his son has found such a lovely lady and that they are both blissfully happy together!

What happened to your back? Is it not something which a nice relaxing massage every so often could help make it better? I have heard that chiropractors can be quite brutal!

Good luck with the wedding planning! I know that there seemed to be quite a lot to organise for my little small scale registry office ceremony with Neil, so you must be very busy at the moment! Has Debbie got her dress yet? Have you got your suit? (or kilt!)

HenrySpicyFlier # Saturday, February 11, 2012 3:05:07 PM

Thanks for your concern Kirsten. Debbie's middle child, her younger daughter, pronounced herself to be our wedding planner the day after our engagement. She is such a sweetheart and has been doing a wonderful job of getting things together. It's a relief from our shoulders. The church is booked. Debbie has her dress and I have a suit picked out. Flowers are picked out and just have to be paid. The hall for the reception is paid. The post wedding finger foods is organized and taken care of. It's all pretty well organized, I'd say. Well in advance too.

Dad lives about 3 hours away. I would not want him to travel that far in his condition. From what Mom tells me, he is becoming delusional. It's going to be really tough over the next few months.

Over 20 years ago, my scoliosis was diagnosed. I did a post on that last year. A good chiropractor is a God-send, and I have been blessed with a couple of them.

A massage just would NOT provide the relief necessary to all me to keep walking properly.

Mrs. HermitessHermitess # Saturday, February 11, 2012 3:16:29 PM

Aww Henry that makes me sad. It must he really hard to see your dad that way.

Sounds like you have a lot of stress right now between planning a new life with Debbie & your dad, no wonder your back is causing you pain.

Syrup! Wow, that'll be amazing! I make Belgian saddles fairly often so

HenrySpicyFlier # Saturday, February 11, 2012 3:19:06 PM

Originally posted by Hermitess:

no wonder your back is causing you pain.

Nah..that can happen any time.

Originally posted by Hermitess:

Sounds like you have a lot of stress right now between planning a new life with Debbie & your dad

I am trying to balance my distress and eustress..

ShallowMuse # Saturday, February 11, 2012 3:22:47 PM

Belgian saddles, Lindsay?

Must be an Oklahoma thang..

Aw the boutineer idea is lovely... Will you be taping the wedding? Or is that a dumb question asking the king of videos? haha.. Then you can show your dad the video

It must be so weird watching parents slowly decline.. i'm already freaking out because my parents' eyesight is going but sho, i can't imagine how your situation must feel like. Power to you both!

HenrySpicyFlier # Saturday, February 11, 2012 3:54:37 PM

Thanks B.

My dad is rapidly declining, considering what he could do a year ago. But how do you incorporate a boutineer when the person is not going to be there?

If anyone is taping the wedding, I'll have to organize that, I guess. Probably just do a cheap video with my camcorder and intersperse with the actual wedding photos. On the other hand, if Lois Croft (cackleberrylane) comes up from Florida like she said she will, a really good video may be done.

Mrs. HermitessHermitess # Saturday, February 11, 2012 5:11:21 PM

LOL I meant Belgian waffles!
Stupid auto text, makes me sound insane on a regular basis.
Sure we put fine Canadian syrup on Belgian saddles here. Quite a delicacy, bit chewy, but oh so tasty!

HenrySpicyFlier # Saturday, February 11, 2012 9:39:09 PM

Originally posted by Hermitess:

Stupid auto text, makes me sound insane on a regular basis.

But we still love you.

ShallowMuse # Sunday, February 12, 2012 10:35:43 AM

Originally posted by SpicyFlier:

But how do you incorporate a boutineer when the person is not going to be there?

Hmm. Make a ribbon boutineer and attach it to Debbie's bouquet somewhere?

HenrySpicyFlier # Sunday, February 12, 2012 10:52:12 AM

Originally posted by ShallowMuse:

Make a ribbon boutineer and attach it to Debbie's bouquet somewhere?

*makes a note*
But since it's my father, could we not incorporate it into my tux; like side-by-side maybe?

ShallowMuse # Sunday, February 12, 2012 11:21:49 AM

Indeedy! I thought of that too just after i added that comment. What are the colours of your wedding?

Lulixxylu # Sunday, February 12, 2012 3:50:03 PM

Hope your Dad stays comfortable over the next few months and gets to see some photos or videos of your wedding.

Parents (Mum's in particular - i'm biased) do so much, you definitely have to pay that back as you get older. Even if it's just small gestures that make their life easier

Good luck getting JUGS of maple syrup out of the Canadian Postal System in one piece

Gavin Tripp-Sheedygarlingmatthews # Sunday, February 12, 2012 6:47:15 PM

Parents are amazing. I feel constantly guilty that mine get so little in return. I hope he stabilizes.

Sweet, Henry. Thanks.

Maybe you should save them for the CONVENTION!

kirsten kirstycat # Sunday, February 12, 2012 9:38:36 PM

I completely understand and appreciate now just how much effort and love parents put into bringing up children! I have looked at my own parents with new eyes since Chris was born.

HenrySpicyFlier # Monday, February 13, 2012 5:50:17 AM

Originally posted by kirstycat:

I have looked at my own parents with new eyes since Chris was born.

Indeed.

Originally posted by ShallowMuse:

What are the colours of your wedding?

Magnolia is the flower. We are using mainly ivory/off-white for the wedding dress and my tux vest. Plum (in a light tone) for edging on the boutineers and a collection of three full-colour flowers in Debbie's bouquet.

Originally posted by lixxylu:

Hope your Dad stays comfortable over the next few months and gets to see some photos or videos of your wedding....you definitely have to pay that back as you get older.

Originally posted by garlingmatthews:

I hope he stabilizes.

Dad is doing quite a bit better when Debbie and I saw him today. A lot of issues may be the result of his meds for relieving fluid buildup in his feet. We are trying to pay them pack somehow.

Originally posted by lixxylu: