Henry

A Wrong Address

Sunday, February 12, 2012 3:18:25 AM

Today I went to the bank. I usually go when there are actual people staffing the counters. I try and avoid bank machines and ensure I am keeping people working. A number of Canadian banks tried getting rid of staff people altogether in the 1990's - now they have gone full circle and encourage their staff to address people by their first names when the information pops up on their screens.

But there's a problem with that.

As an older person, it is disconcerting to be addressed by a 20-year old by my first name when we have never met before. Something like, "Sir" or "Mr. Van Weeren" is more befitting of respect when there is such an age gap between two people. I understand it's company policy to be friendly, but a healthy dose of courtesy wouldn't hurt.

Just sayin'....

A Suite MoveWhen We Get Married….

Comments

WillYum # Sunday, February 12, 2012 3:53:04 AM

Wow +1. Totally inappropriate.

ShallowMuse # Sunday, February 12, 2012 10:40:08 AM

I agree! I feel awfully weird when some older people tell me to address them by their first names only.. i'm like.. Eh! Can't.. do.. it! MR MAM! It's just respectful.

HenrySpicyFlier # Sunday, February 12, 2012 10:56:02 AM

Thanks for the votes of agreement.

I felt especially awkward when it was this person's first time. I had never seen them in the bank before.

kirsten kirstycat # Sunday, February 12, 2012 2:14:43 PM

People who don't know you should be more formal and call you by your surname, whatever your age I think! Works the other way around too, I used to hate it when I had jobs where I was made to wear a name badge, and complete strangers would call me by my first name, much better when it's anonymous!

Lulixxylu # Sunday, February 12, 2012 3:43:36 PM

Really??

I must be weird, i don't care what people call me and if i had a choice i think i would rather actually have them call me Lucy rather then Miss Surname.

Calling me "Lucy" isn't offensive to me, whether they are 4 or 60. It's just my name. I think they are only trying to be personable, not disresptful or uncourteous. Very rarely do they actually say your name here anyway, but if they do, i find it uncomfortable when people keep refering to me as Miss. It reminds me of a servant talking to someone above them and i don't consider them below me. I usually ask them to stop and if they really want to call me something, call me by my actual name...which is not Miss!

So i can be the black sheep in this situation

kirsten kirstycat # Sunday, February 12, 2012 3:52:06 PM

hmm ok you have a point there...I don't mind being called by my name by people who are serving me, I just don't like it when it's me who is doing the serving!

When I was in that sort of job I usually wanted to remain anonymous as I was embarrassed to be doing what I was doing!

Lulixxylu # Sunday, February 12, 2012 3:56:22 PM

I agree, that must be quite strange. When i worked in Boots that rarely happened, unless they were regulars, then they told you their life story and wanted to know yours as well

Lorenzo CelsiLorenzoCelsi # Sunday, February 12, 2012 4:28:42 PM

I don't think it depends on the company policy. Here it is an ongoing trend as well but it depends on people's education. It is the same as giving your seat to old people or ladies on the subway. Plus many people graduate from school without knowing the proper tenses of verbs for addressing older people in the polite way so they cut it short like children do.

Note: in italian there are two "polite" forms, one requires you to use verbs like the other person is a "she", something like "her majesty". It became common around the renaissance. Then there is a more ancient form that comes from the middle ages that requires you to use verbs like the other person is the plural "you", something like "you mcdonalds", addressing a group instead of a single.

Mrs. HermitessHermitess # Sunday, February 12, 2012 5:26:51 PM

I hardly hear anyone refer to anyone else, regardless of age difference, here as Mr., Mrs, or Miss. I try to address older people as Mr. or Mrs. at work but I often forget to because I hear everyone else (co-workers, doctors) addressing the patients by first name. Even workers name tags at the hospital have only their first names on them and I hear the ones we are getting for my work have only first names as well.

No one addresses me as Mrs. Crayola Color and I'd probably be confused if they did

Lulixxylu # Sunday, February 12, 2012 5:54:04 PM

Well duuuh thats cause you're Mrs Hermitess!!

Gavin Tripp-Sheedygarlingmatthews # Sunday, February 12, 2012 6:05:27 PM

I prefer to be addressed as Your Grace, but otherwise, Gavin will do.

I always correct people who refer to me as Mr. Sheedy. My dad is Mr. Sheedy.

Lulixxylu # Sunday, February 12, 2012 6:21:11 PM

Originally posted by garlingmatthews:

I prefer to be addressed as Your Grace

!

I'll remember that

Annespiritcrow # Sunday, February 12, 2012 6:40:12 PM

he didn't say "Yo Henry, wuz up?!"

Lulixxylu # Sunday, February 12, 2012 7:08:26 PM

!! I wish people spoke to me like that, it would make my day!

Gavin Tripp-Sheedygarlingmatthews # Sunday, February 12, 2012 7:49:22 PM

I'll remember that. We may be locked up.

Lulixxylu # Sunday, February 12, 2012 8:17:59 PM

Together

kirsten kirstycat # Sunday, February 12, 2012 9:41:03 PM

I feel a bit odd when I see Mrs Gotadoro on letters now...it makes me feel quite old all of a sudden! I kind of miss being a miss!

WillYum # Monday, February 13, 2012 4:23:37 AM

I guess it's just how I was raised- you differentiated between formal and informal relationships. Professional vs personal. Mister, Misses, Professor, Sir, Ma'am, etc. Perhaps it's an illusion but it serves as a good reminder.

It's "Mr. President" not "Barack" or "Barry" or "Obamawama," not because he's not human but because it's a cheap way to remind everyone that there is some serious business.

When it comes to the people handling my money I want the utmost professionalism because it is serious. They have a moral and legal duty to uphold and they damn well better be cognizant of it. The informality may imply that it's okay for them to discuss the size of people's bank accounts, comment on their withdrawals or say "Wow, did you win the lottery, Joe?!" as if they had a right to gossip.

That said -- it's only one part of the whole so I probably wouldn't object if they at least said "Thank you, ___" instead of "Thanks, ___"

HenrySpicyFlier # Monday, February 13, 2012 5:39:22 AM

Originally posted by WillYum:

it's a cheap way to remind everyone that there is some serious business.

When it comes to the people handling my money I want the utmost professionalism because it is serious. They have a moral and legal duty to uphold and they damn well better be cognizant of it.

Amen! It took a bit of discussion on the way back from visiting my parents today, but she eventually saw it my way...

Being a legal receptionist, she did understand the need for a differentiation (in the beginning of a business relationship) between formal and informal.

Just sayin'....

Is all of this suitable to "Your Grace" and "Mrs. Crayola Color?"

Originally posted by lixxylu:

So i can be the black sheep in this situation

We know no other sheep here...

Mrs. HermitessHermitess # Monday, February 13, 2012 6:22:53 AM

Yes its suitable. I agree, it seems things have gotten so informal, but in certain situations respect should be paid. I do call people "ma'am" and "sir" at work a lot.

Lulixxylu # Monday, February 13, 2012 8:08:14 AM

Originally posted by WillYum:

It's "Mr. President" not "Barack" or "Barry" or "Obamawama," not because he's not human but because it's a cheap way to remind everyone that there is some serious business.

No offence Henry but...you are not as important as the President!

I don't think calling me Lucy implies they are going to break their own codes of conduct and tell me things about my bank account, its just a way of addressing the person in front of you.

To me its money. Its not THAT serious and does not require them to act as if they are handing over a top secret report on nuclear weapons to the President. It's just some cash

Originally posted by SpicyFlier:

she eventually saw it my way...

No, thats how we women shut you men up

HenrySpicyFlier # Monday, February 13, 2012 11:22:47 AM

Originally posted by Hermitess:

but in certain situations respect should be paid

'Tis all I'm sayin'...

Originally posted by lixxylu:

No, thats how we women shut you men up

Nevah!

Mrs. HermitessHermitess # Monday, February 13, 2012 4:23:07 PM

Originally posted by lixxylu:

Originally posted by SpicyFlier:
she eventually saw it my way...
No, thats how we women shut you men up

SHHHHHHH Lucy, don't tell them!

Gavin Tripp-Sheedygarlingmatthews # Monday, February 13, 2012 5:06:12 PM

Lulixxylu # Monday, February 13, 2012 5:41:07 PM

Originally posted by SpicyFlier:

but in certain situations respect should be paid

'Tis all I'm sayin'...

At a bank?

Were you withdrawing/depositing $10,000,000? Buying the bank? Buying the cashier? Then i agree he should of kissed your boots in the hope you threw $10 in his direction.

Next time you should go in with a whip.

"I'M BANKING A CHEQUE, BOW DOWN BEFORE MEEEE!" *whipiissshh*

Originally posted by Hermitess:

SHHHHHHH Lucy, don't tell them!

It's okay, men have a 30 second memory. This will all be forgotten....Right Gavin?

HenrySpicyFlier # Monday, February 13, 2012 7:31:49 PM

Originally posted by lixxylu:

Were you withdrawing/depositing $10,000,000?

Pretty close. Weddings are expensive these days....

Loiscakkleberrylane # Sunday, March 4, 2012 3:03:03 AM

I bank at the RBC in Florida (Royal Bank of Canada). They changed my name on all the checks and the accounts and claim it's impossible to change the names now, best I can do is legally change my name to match what the bank wants to call me.

Then, when I asked why, despite having the bank manager record that I was going to be in Canada, and she assured me I could use my debit card there, I was not able to use it in Canada, they said it was because I was a Canadian citizen. Not only that, because I'm still Canadian, I can't bank in Florida - only Georgia.

I felt as if I had entered the "Twighlight Zone"!

HenrySpicyFlier # Sunday, March 4, 2012 4:27:21 AM

So this is being said by the American employees of RBC? I would start by calling RBC's head office here in Toronto, then the Canadian Embassy. I am sure those snowbirds who own lots of Floridian real estate aren't being told anything like that...

Loiscakkleberrylane # Sunday, March 4, 2012 4:14:28 PM

RBC here is in the process of being taken over by PNC (whoever that is) and the tellers admitted they have not had sufficient training in the policies of the new bank, training is coming in a month or two, but the takeover was Feb. 18. Whether they are misinformed or maybe just making up what they think are reasonable answers - I don't know. I imagine people are in there all the time asking these kinds of questions. I was concerned about the name because if I get a check made out to me, I probably wouldn't be able to cash it. I also have an account at a local credit union and they were able to get my name right and my card always works.
We also have TD Bank here, so I think I'm going to move the account there.

HenrySpicyFlier # Monday, March 5, 2012 1:26:27 AM

Originally posted by cakkleberrylane:

We also have TD Bank here, so I think I'm going to move the account there.

Sounds like a very wise idea.

Loiscakkleberrylane # Friday, March 9, 2012 2:39:46 PM

My mum and dad use TD, and they're happy with it in Canada, so I'll give it a try!

AnchyAnitaMargita # Saturday, June 2, 2012 8:15:39 AM

I prefer bank machines. They are fast and pretty handy to use.

When it comes to addressing, here, in Serbian language we have: "ti" meaning "you" for informal conversation, for addressing people you know and who know you; and, this will be pretty hard to explain because such word doesn't exist in English language, but I'll give it a try, "Vi" meaning "Mr/Miss/Mrs Surname" for formal situations.
I don't like to be called "ti devojko" meaning "you girl" by a complete stranger. Annoying.