Face forward - even if not moving forward

One thing about my loving Opera community, they are creative and thoughtful people.

But they may not be math-type people (except for Brian from the U.K., under the guise of BD47, whose wife demanded that he stop blogging; poor bloke - wish I could find him again since he said he would be writing under a pseudonym).

Generally, I like math and the way in which solutions to technical problems can be found by the manipulation of numbers. The instructor last semester was a very detailed and thorough engineer with a good grasp of using computer programs and other resources to present his topics. If you marginally applied yourself and attended class, it's a good bet you would pass.

This semester is not like that at all. I've had this instructor before and she is a poor follow-up to last semester's experience - but I know she's trying. How she got a BA in metallurgical engineering is beyond me. She certainly can't get the concepts across well and is flustered now and again when students ask questions - so they usually don't.

On the other hand, I have not been putting any real effort in either (perhaps because the school cancelled the program I originally signed up for and are now forcing me to take something completely unrelated to what I really want to do - or no diploma). This semester has been like a self-taught self-study course. It is unbelievably hard to be motivated to do a regular batch of questions each day. My first exam is tomorrow morning.

Any structural engineers out there feel free to drop me a line...

I was looking through some past personal writings and came across this written almost 2 years ago. It was a particularly difficult time (not unlike now..LOL..), but God needs to get our attention toward Him and the availability of redemption - big or small - by the suffering of Jesus Christ.

God is not mean or stingy toward His children (see Luke 15:31-32 and Luke 18:1-8).

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When you think there is strength;
when you believe you can hold it together,
You get in your room where it’s all alone.
Just you and the Father.
You close the door and get on your knees.
You look back at your life and recount what seems like a never-ending stream of failures
- but there have been shining moments where the Father has come through.
You add it all up.
And begin to cry,
and cry,
and cry.
“I’m sorry, so sorry for trying to do Your will my way.
At least, what I believed to be Your will.”
And cry,
and cry,
and cry.
“I’m so sorry....(sob).”

But it needs to come out. It needs to be said.
The pain needs to be freed from the bondage of my holding it together.
Hurled at the Man who took our infirmities and carried our sorrows.
Carried our sorrows....


Carries....


And strength returns...the load is lighter.
He carries what we cannot. Willingly.
Because He can take it.

Though Mara considered herself afflicted, Naomi’s life was renewed.

Hello everyone,

This post will hopefully explain a bit of the title of this blog. I have had difficulties in my life and there are some goals I would like to accomplish a lot sooner than the current speed at which they are getting done, but I am still facing forward. The goals I would like to accomplish, by God’s grace, will get done. Some people are late bloomers. Perhaps really late bloomers — like Moses. Like me.

There are three friends of mine who continually remind me of the importance of fortitude and the grace within which we live every day. One has been battling lupus for a number of years, the other chronic back pain due to injuries and the last is battling depression and other physical ailments.

The gal battling lupus has difficulty working a full continuous day. She cannot walk or stand for a long period. She has regular chemotherapy treatments that physically knock her out for days at a stretch. She recently had emergency hernia surgery. Yet she is attending to her mother who lives in a nursing home. She is actively involved in various ministries at her church. She sings with a professional chorus group that just recently won a North American competition — for the second year in a row. She loves to be around people and is continually encouraging them. When I hear some of the medical gaffs done by professionals, it is a wonder she is still alive. Her physical resilience is baffling.

The other gal with the chronic back pain cannot sit for very long. She cannot lift anything very heavy or bend down very far. Getting anything toward ground level is an arduous task. This past weekend she moved to another place—the third time in a year. Money issues, legal issues, schooling issues (she is attending university) and family issues. But she is almost always smiling. She is always hospitable with refreshments or a meal. If there is anything extra, it’s given away. After helping out with getting her internet going and secured, she gave me some extra food (always good for struggling single guys) and some extra cash (knowing how much it would have cost to have a professional company come in and do the work for her — helped pay for gas ). Her basic needs are met in almost miraculous ways regularly. It is astounding.

The last fellow is a father of seven children. That’s right, seven. He is battling against depression and other physical ailments that prevent him from working full time. He has a loving and supportive wife. He is a community leader in the complex where he lives. He oversees the administration of budgets that reach out into the immediate neighbourhoods and bring people together. His input is extremely valued by civic leaders to create duplicate environments around our city. He is an awesome cook and loves being around people.

There is a saying, "Somebody is worse off than you." I have my own issues to deal with and live with. These three people written about are heroic to me in that they live life beyond their restrictions. They accomplish so much with more going against them than myself. I feel sorry for myself some days when the focus is too inward. But I will continue to face forward — even if not moving forward.

Regards,
Henry