Monday, September 17, 2007 4:55:31 PM
blog, photography, breakup, truck
...
I have thought for a long time as to what I would be writing this time. It's hard.
Cherub and I have gone our separate ways. It was a long time in coming; we just kept denying it, trying to fix it, trying to work past it. This time, I simply could not, in good conscience, deny any more. My mental status would not be able to take it.
This is not to say that she is a bad person. She's not. She's one of the sweetest, kindest people I know. But after a year and a half, my own mental problems caused the relationship to deteriorate to the point that I couldn't try anymore. I began to resent her, and everything she did was an irritant to me. Whether she believes it or not, I had to leave in order to save her mental health. I did not want to be cold or cruel or just plain mean. But that's what was happening to me, and that's what tends to happen when I try to salvage a relationship that I just can't handle anymore.
Do I miss her? Yes. Do I still love her? Yes, and I always will. Will I ever go back to her? I don't know. I don't think I will, but to put an absolute here would be wrong.
Thus ends one phase of my life and begins another. I wish her nothing but joy and health - and for all of her dreams to come true.
Now - I am still in Nashville. Things did not go anywhere near as planned. So until further notice, I'm on the truck with Steven. This way, I can travel. I might even get a camera and do some photos to sell as prints. 
I've always liked doing that - and I can perhaps throw together a book or two.
Washington will come in time, I'm sure. I will get there as soon as I can, but for now, I have to work on me and my life. The money will come. Just not immediately.
Some of the stress is gone. I'm glad for that. To those who thought I was gone, I apologize. To those who are angry with me leaving cherub, fuck you. I did the best I could for as long as I could, but it was over long ago. Get over it or don't, whichever. If I lost your friendship because I had to leave her, then you were probably not my friend to begin with. I thank those who stand beside me, it's highly appreciated.
No more negatives. The positive energies must flow now. Serenity be yours.
Sunday, September 9, 2007 1:55:09 PM
fuckwads, move, car, Washington
...
So.
We're still in TN. Naturally.
It was decided that the car probably wouldn't make it. I certainly didn't want to run the risk of getting halfway there and then having less than a thousand bucks to deal with emergency breakdowns. So we decided to buy plane tickets and fly out after selling the car.
This should have been a simple plan. It turned into a pain in the ass.
Plane tickets obtained. Car listed for sale.
We cannot seem to sell this car. It's like a white elephant - no one wants it, at least, not for what we're asking. So, we've lowered the price to the minimum that we can take for it.
No dice.
However. Seems one person has made it their personal agenda to fuck with us. On the day of our plane departure, we still hadn't sold the vehicle. Someone calls, says they're interested, and tells us that they will be by at about 1.30 to look at it.
We have to be at the airport by 3. We can do this.
At about 2.30, dude calls and says he will try to be there by 4. Our plane leaves at 4.55. We tell him this. He cops an attitude and says he'll try to make it by 3.30.
He calls again at 6. We've missed our flight. We have to reschedule tickets and pay $200 in fees to do this. He says he "drove by" and "didn't want it" because we were "rude to him."
'Scuse me? WE were rude? By telling him that we had a plane to catch? What about him and his "half hour" that turned into FOUR hours???
Needless to say, I'm livid. I'm supposed to be trolling craigslist for furniture now instead of sitting in a cheap motel in Nashville until we can come up with the money to move again. To top it off, the fucker posted a bogus craigslist ad for our car, saying it was a neckbreaker and we would take $200 for it.
There are times when I hate people. Seriously. And to whomever has taken it upon themselves to send cherub snarky livejournal comments, go fuck yourself. There are other things to worry about right now and I guarantee that if I discover who it was, (and I have a VERY good idea), she'll not be permitted to speak to you at all.
Saturday, September 1, 2007 7:21:26 PM
moving, worries, Washington, home
We leave tonight.
My main worry is that the car will go kaput before we get there. Out in the middle of fuck knows where.
That's it. All I gotta do is get there. That's all. Zen and stuff.
New life ahead. Let's see where it takes me.
Next post as soon as I can after I get home.
Friday, August 31, 2007 7:57:21 PM
(original source of this tale unknown)
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello."I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude .
When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had is number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow ranch, I have a black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole," He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass," I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007 7:34:58 PM
web page host, free hosting, Free, hosting
...
So yeah.
I opened up a new free hosting site and need people for to test it out! It's Karma Free Hostand I admit that I'm excited about it.
Go check it out. There are a lot of fun features that you don't get with a lot of other companies, and NO BANNERS! w00t!
k thx bai!
Monday, August 27, 2007 5:38:26 PM
moving, happy, Washington, home
Plans are made.
Money is being gathered.
Deposit on house is sent.
Moving day approacheth.
And hot damn, we'll be on our way! This time next week will see us in South Dakota-ish. I'm hoping to get the AC on the car fixed at the same time I'm getting the brakes done. It runs well, other than those two things. Hopefully it will continue to run that well until we get there.
Considering that we don't have a lot of stuff, it should be fine for us to drive in the geo. Once we get there, though, freecycle and craigslist are going to be our bestest buddies until we get some furniture.
Not too long now!!
Sunday, August 26, 2007 9:41:28 PM
Friday Five
Imagine you are on your deathbed. Recommend to those who remain in your life...
1) One book to read.
- "The Art Of War" by Sun Tzu
2) One movie to watch.
- "Casablanca"
3) One food to eat.
- Cheesecake
4) One place to go.
- Go wherever you like. You can always go home.
5) One life lesson to leave behind.
- There is no all-encompassing meaning of life. There is only meaning to your life. So make your life mean something.
Friday, August 17, 2007 4:32:30 PM
Friday Five
And on Friday, even!
What is your favorite quote....
1) ... on family?
- Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
2) ... on relationships? (marriage, friendships, etc)
- I don't believe in love; it's never worth the pain that you feel.
3) ... attitude?
- I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
4) ... happiness?
- We make our own happiness. To expect someone else to do that for us is ridiculous.
5) ... success?
- Every success, no matter how small or trivial, is still a success.
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