The Phantom Finger
Monday, 2. November 2009, 01:54:43
Ooooooo! Doesn't that title just give you the absolute chills? Even your goose bumps get goose bumps, right? With yesterday having been Halloween, I really wanted to get a Post up and especially certainly one with a title like that. It would certainly have hit the spot. But, I lost a little bit of time in the morning when I went to go do some periodic maintenance on my friends' computer. Then after I got back, I tried to do my best Tom Cruise Maverick impression and thread the needle and break the rules. I tried to engage in this project and that project, while as time passed, maintaining the Cocky assertive and confident … perhaps foolish and ill-advised attitude that, "Heyyy! I can pull all of this off with the ease of a Flying Trapeze. A Post to write? No problem. It's child's play. I still have a couple of hours before I have to start writing." Then after an extended game of procrastination, my ole nemesis shows up. That's right. My dreaded, formidable adversary – Dr. Somnolence! 
The next thing I knew … 
That brings me to this morning. My friend Peppermint aka Linda (L2D2) inquired as to whether we had remembered to set our clocks back last night here in the USA. Now what kind of question is that? What kind of short attention span, focus-challenged, disorganized idiot would forget to change their clocks? It's only done twice a year. It's NOT Rocket Science or Brain Surgery. When it comes time to do it, you just do it! Does someone have to spoon feed you a reminder? Sheesh! Some people! What's that, you ask? Ohhh, you want me to stop rambling and just answer the question? Just one question … what WAS the question?
Oh Ohhh, that's right. Did I remember to change my clocks back last night so as to be in the correct flow of things this morning? Uhhh … Ummm, 
Damn! Why couldn't y'all just be cooperative and fall for my diversionary tactics attempts? 
Okay Okay! I have to confess. NO, I did NOT remember to change my clocks back last night. I'm serious. 
There I was … getting up at 5:15AM. Or WAS I? All I knew was that the night before was Halloween. That's all that was ingrained in my head. So, as usual, I routinely went and showered. It wasn't until I was already dressing that it dawned on me that I was supposed to have set my clocks back the night before. 
Auuuggghhh! I had actually woken up at 4:15AM as per the new time. I missed out on that extra hour of sleep! 
It was obviously now too late to try and just lie down and get those extra Zzzz’s. I was already officially in up and about mode. Fugg! Son of the BEACH! 
Ehhh, I'll probably take some involuntary naps this evening to make up for it.
Be that Screwup as it may, it's time to reveal the complex, twist & turn-riddled Scare Fest of a story behind that title. Hmmm? I don't know. Maybe I should reveal only 1 sentence of it per week. Otherwise, if I unleash it all at once, I can't be sure that I wouldn't be exposing y'all to an over the legal limit of fear, shock, terror, horror and permanent mental scarring.
Nnnnggg, Nah! I'll go ahead with my little adventure.
This flashback will take us back to when I was in the 3rd Grade. My family lived in this pecan farming community outside this small New Mexico town. We had just moved there early that Summer. We had come over from a small town in Texas. There was a main street that divided the community into two sections. My older brother, who was in the 6th Grade, and I had made one main friend there. His name was Lalo. Lalo was OK, despite his propensity for lying and exaggerating. The reason I specify "one main friend" is cuz we sorta had 2 other friends … sorta … I guess. Friend #2 was also from our side of the main street. His name was Sergio. Now the reason Sergio was only a sorta friend was because his allegiance as a friend was questionable. He was moody and periodically fraternized with the guys from the OTHER side of the main street! OMG! Heck, he too was infamous for his lying, probably running neck and neck with Lalo. WHAT, y'all are probably wondering, was so wrong with fraternizing with the guys from the other side of the main street? You know … at this time, I no longer quite remember anymore. As best as I can very vaguely recall, between Lalo and Sergio, they had painted those guys across the main street out to be these menacing, nefarious bunch of Hoods. 
If it was any consolation, at least Lalo was ONLY a Lying Exaggerator. Sergio was a Liar with suspected Backstabbing skills. Sergio was like a Double Agent. We didn't trust him NOT to go blab to his other friends, the Hoods … Ummm, alleged Hoods, what we'd be talking about over here on our side of the street at our Headquarters. 
It didn't help matters any that Lalo and Sergio didn't per se like each other. So, who knows? They might have been trying to out-lie each other.
Our 3rd friend was named Carlos … aka Carli. Carli? WTF? That's too close to Carly. Anyway, he was actually from the other side of the main street. Double OMG! Now this Carli was also someone whom we never really did trust either. Yep, we suspected him also of possible Backstabberish Double Agent activity in that Cloak & Dagger quagmire that was our community.
Liars and Exaggerators and Backstabbers, Oh My!
Liars and Exaggerators and Backstabbers, Oh My!
Liars and Exaggerators and Backstabbers, Oh My!
To reiterate … by now, it's difficult to pinpoint WHY, but for some reason, a riff had developed between our little group of my older brother, Lalo and I vs. the guys on the other side of the main street. The probable theory is that either Backstabber Sergio or Backstabber Carli had something to do with having planted the seed with the other guys about us. As it was, it was no secret that it had been conveyed that they were out to get us. That's right, as in if those other guys got the opportunity to get us in a face to face situation, they were gonna administer us a Beat Down.
One afternoon, my brother, Lalo and I were out bike riding. We stopped on our side of the street to watch as the Hoods were playing Football on a field on the other side of the street. They saw us and actually yelled out, "Heyyy! Y'all wanna come and play? We can use some more guys." We were like, "No! Are y'all kidding? Y'all just want to gang up on us and beat us up!" They were like, "No! That's NOT true. That was just some misunderstanding."
I'm a bit foggy with the details of why or how, but I do definitely recall that somehow, for some reason, somewhere around that time, we started --- Throwing Fingers at them! I'm NOT 100% sure, but I wanna say that it was Lalo who started it in response to them trying to get us to go over to their turf where they were playing Football … presumably to beat us up. So, I THINK it was Lalo conveying in essence, "Y'all want us to go over THERE to supposedly play Football? Here y'all go …" :::The FINGER::: 
Then I guess my brother and I followed in Lalo's bad influence footsteps. By the time we had any time to consider any possible ramifications of our actions, we had already dished out a FINGER Fest at the Hoods … from a distance, of course. 
I guess it just didn't occur to us that we could run into any of those Hoods at anytime there around the community.
That unexpected day did come about. One afternoon, my brother, Lalo and I were again out bike riding. We happened to be stopped at that same spot where we had executed the infamous Finger Throwing Fest. We were caught off guard. We looked behind us and 3 of the Hoods had come upon us on their bikes. There was no time to head for the hills. Crap! I'll paraphrase, but the bigger of the 3 Hoods went something like, "Well, well, look who we have here! It seems I recall the last time we saw each other, y'all were boldly throwing fingers at us." We were scared out of our wits as we imagined the Beat Down that was about to likely ensue. I can't remember if it was my brother or Lalo, but one of them came up with the quick-thinking, but lame and implausible excuse / explanation that, "Oh, No! We weren't throwing Fingers at y'all. We were Clapping as y'all played Football." The Big Hood was like, "I'm NOT an idiot. I'm pretty sure of what I saw and y'all were laughing and throwing Fingers at us."
We went back & forth with us desperately pleading our case, as ludicrous, lame and implausible as it was. Anything to delay the commencement of the Beat Down and preferably to prevent it all together. Eventually we somehow got out of that mess unscathed. I think Big Hood Dude eventually figured he had scared the Crap out of us enough. Either that or perhaps he eventually felt there was reasonable doubt. MAYBE … he bought our Phantom Finger defense. Yep, maybe we convinced him that there was NO Finger, Fingers or Finger Throwing going on after all.
The next thing I knew … That brings me to this morning. My friend Peppermint aka Linda (L2D2) inquired as to whether we had remembered to set our clocks back last night here in the USA. Now what kind of question is that? What kind of short attention span, focus-challenged, disorganized idiot would forget to change their clocks? It's only done twice a year. It's NOT Rocket Science or Brain Surgery. When it comes time to do it, you just do it! Does someone have to spoon feed you a reminder? Sheesh! Some people! What's that, you ask? Ohhh, you want me to stop rambling and just answer the question? Just one question … what WAS the question?
Oh Ohhh, that's right. Did I remember to change my clocks back last night so as to be in the correct flow of things this morning? Uhhh … Ummm, Damn! Why couldn't y'all just be cooperative and fall for my diversionary tactics attempts? Okay Okay! I have to confess. NO, I did NOT remember to change my clocks back last night. I'm serious. There I was … getting up at 5:15AM. Or WAS I? All I knew was that the night before was Halloween. That's all that was ingrained in my head. So, as usual, I routinely went and showered. It wasn't until I was already dressing that it dawned on me that I was supposed to have set my clocks back the night before. Auuuggghhh! I had actually woken up at 4:15AM as per the new time. I missed out on that extra hour of sleep! It was obviously now too late to try and just lie down and get those extra Zzzz’s. I was already officially in up and about mode. Fugg! Son of the BEACH! Ehhh, I'll probably take some involuntary naps this evening to make up for it.Be that Screwup as it may, it's time to reveal the complex, twist & turn-riddled Scare Fest of a story behind that title. Hmmm? I don't know. Maybe I should reveal only 1 sentence of it per week. Otherwise, if I unleash it all at once, I can't be sure that I wouldn't be exposing y'all to an over the legal limit of fear, shock, terror, horror and permanent mental scarring.
Nnnnggg, Nah! I'll go ahead with my little adventure. This flashback will take us back to when I was in the 3rd Grade. My family lived in this pecan farming community outside this small New Mexico town. We had just moved there early that Summer. We had come over from a small town in Texas. There was a main street that divided the community into two sections. My older brother, who was in the 6th Grade, and I had made one main friend there. His name was Lalo. Lalo was OK, despite his propensity for lying and exaggerating.
The reason I specify "one main friend" is cuz we sorta had 2 other friends … sorta … I guess. Friend #2 was also from our side of the main street. His name was Sergio. Now the reason Sergio was only a sorta friend was because his allegiance as a friend was questionable. He was moody and periodically fraternized with the guys from the OTHER side of the main street! OMG! Heck, he too was infamous for his lying, probably running neck and neck with Lalo. WHAT, y'all are probably wondering, was so wrong with fraternizing with the guys from the other side of the main street? You know … at this time, I no longer quite remember anymore. As best as I can very vaguely recall, between Lalo and Sergio, they had painted those guys across the main street out to be these menacing, nefarious bunch of Hoods. If it was any consolation, at least Lalo was ONLY a Lying Exaggerator.
Sergio was a Liar with suspected Backstabbing skills. Sergio was like a Double Agent. We didn't trust him NOT to go blab to his other friends, the Hoods … Ummm, alleged Hoods, what we'd be talking about over here on our side of the street at our Headquarters. It didn't help matters any that Lalo and Sergio didn't per se like each other. So, who knows? They might have been trying to out-lie each other.Our 3rd friend was named Carlos … aka Carli. Carli? WTF? That's too close to Carly.
Anyway, he was actually from the other side of the main street. Double OMG! Now this Carli was also someone whom we never really did trust either. Yep, we suspected him also of possible Backstabberish Double Agent activity in that Cloak & Dagger quagmire that was our community.Liars and Exaggerators and Backstabbers, Oh My!
Liars and Exaggerators and Backstabbers, Oh My!
Liars and Exaggerators and Backstabbers, Oh My!
To reiterate … by now, it's difficult to pinpoint WHY, but for some reason, a riff had developed between our little group of my older brother, Lalo and I vs. the guys on the other side of the main street. The probable theory is that either Backstabber Sergio or Backstabber Carli had something to do with having planted the seed with the other guys about us. As it was, it was no secret that it had been conveyed that they were out to get us. That's right, as in if those other guys got the opportunity to get us in a face to face situation, they were gonna administer us a Beat Down.
One afternoon, my brother, Lalo and I were out bike riding. We stopped on our side of the street to watch as the Hoods were playing Football on a field on the other side of the street. They saw us and actually yelled out, "Heyyy! Y'all wanna come and play? We can use some more guys." We were like, "No! Are y'all kidding? Y'all just want to gang up on us and beat us up!" They were like, "No! That's NOT true. That was just some misunderstanding."
I'm a bit foggy with the details of why or how, but I do definitely recall that somehow, for some reason, somewhere around that time, we started ---
Throwing Fingers at them! I'm NOT 100% sure, but I wanna say that it was Lalo who started it in response to them trying to get us to go over to their turf where they were playing Football … presumably to beat us up. So, I THINK it was Lalo conveying in essence, "Y'all want us to go over THERE to supposedly play Football? Here y'all go …" :::The FINGER::: Then I guess my brother and I followed in Lalo's bad influence footsteps. By the time we had any time to consider any possible ramifications of our actions, we had already dished out a FINGER Fest at the Hoods … from a distance, of course. I guess it just didn't occur to us that we could run into any of those Hoods at anytime there around the community.That unexpected day did come about. One afternoon, my brother, Lalo and I were again out bike riding. We happened to be stopped at that same spot where we had executed the infamous Finger Throwing Fest. We were caught off guard. We looked behind us and 3 of the Hoods had come upon us on their bikes. There was no time to head for the hills. Crap! I'll paraphrase, but the bigger of the 3 Hoods went something like, "Well, well, look who we have here! It seems I recall the last time we saw each other, y'all were boldly throwing fingers at us." We were scared out of our wits as we imagined the Beat Down that was about to likely ensue. I can't remember if it was my brother or Lalo, but one of them came up with the quick-thinking, but lame and implausible excuse / explanation that, "Oh, No! We weren't throwing Fingers at y'all. We were Clapping as y'all played Football."
The Big Hood was like, "I'm NOT an idiot. I'm pretty sure of what I saw and y'all were laughing and throwing Fingers at us."We went back & forth with us desperately pleading our case, as ludicrous, lame and implausible as it was. Anything to delay the commencement of the Beat Down and preferably to prevent it all together. Eventually we somehow got out of that mess unscathed. I think Big Hood Dude eventually figured he had scared the Crap out of us enough. Either that or perhaps he eventually felt there was reasonable doubt. MAYBE … he bought our Phantom Finger defense. Yep, maybe we convinced him that there was NO Finger, Fingers or Finger Throwing going on after all.
WIDGETIZE