Suntana's Blog Trek

Okay I teased some of y'all over at my last week's Post's Comments that I'd let the Cat Out of the Bag and share a secret with y'all. My friend Zaph demanded that I immediately let the Cat Out of the Bag because apparently it's smelly inside a bag. She mentioned something about sharp claws and tattooing a big "Z" on my back if I didn't release her family member from said bag. So, having an aversion to sharp claws, even if they do have Valentine's Day Hearts painted on them, I opted to oblige with Zaph's Brutal Threat request.

Ideally, this Post was very much supposed to have been released yesterday on Valentine's Day. However, as pretty much everyone on the OC knows, yesterday, accessing the Blogs in any way, shape or form was pathetically slow or impossible. So, I unfortunately had to let that cat sleep inside that bag overnight. The OC's tantrum behavior rained on my parade and ruined the perfect timing of my surprise.

Okay, I just borrowed some Fingernail Polish Remover from Zaph. It did the trick. It loosened the Super Glue from the top of the bag. The cat is ready to jump out of the bag. :::Takes a deep breath::: Ooooooo! Doesn't this just have all the suspense and drama of a Jerry Springer episode? Someone takes someone on the Show to reveal to them a HUGE secret. Okay, back from digression. The reason this Post absolutely HAD to have been put up yesterday was because --- yesterday was my birthday! Yep, y'all heard that correctly. My birthday is on Valentine's Day. That's right, Jen. You and I almost shared the same birthday. I didn't want to mention it earlier and take away from the celebration of yours. And then I believe Issy's birthday was the day before mine. So, my master plan was to let y'all in on my secret on Valentine's Day afternoon, after the party festivities over here. But, the OC's unfortunate behavior yesterday put the brakes on my master plan.

Anyway, aside of the OC's functionality not cooperating yesterday, I had a great day on my birthday. I had 2 tamales for breakfast. I had Stuffed Mushrooms and Salad for lunch since I had to leave room for the party food that afternoon. We had TONs of Pizza, Cake, Ice Cream and Candy. There was of course, the requisite singing of Happy Birthday.

In a quintessential gesture of what friends are for, one of my AOL friends gave me this for my birthday. She added that she hoped it was the right size:



I thanked her immensely and told her that I'd handle that present with extreme care … Uhhh, or with Wild, Wreckless Abandon! In case many of y'all don't recognize her, that is Edyta Sliwinska. She's my favorite Pro Dancer on the USA version of the Show Dancing With the Stars. She's got that perfect, tight BOD-Eeeee and that mischievous Dirrty smile!

Since there are some Newbie Loyal Readers to my Blog in recent times, I'll regale y'all with my interesting, Carlos Gone Wild stunt in one of my birthdays back in yesteryear … circa 1992. I went to Hooters restaurant for my birthday. Yeah, I know, what a shocker, right? I was already very much aware of what the Happy Birthday ritual was there at Hooters restaurants. However, I just didn't know whether I had the nerve to go through with it. I had just about finished my meal. The short Shorts-wearing Babetress Waitress asked me, "Is there anything else you need?" I shamelessly, yet boldly matter-of-factly replied, "Actually, yes, there is. You could sing me Happy Birthday." A little voice inside me goes, "Whoa! Who said that? Dude, what did you just do? You KNOW what the ritual is!" It was too late. The Waitress goes, "Oh, it's your birthday today?" I replied, "Yes." The Waitress goes, "Okay. Hold on for just a moment." My heart was now beating fast as I knew I was about to engage in some Un-Carlos-like stunt. The Hooters Waitress shows back up with all the rest of the Hot Hooters Girls. They took me over to the center of the restaurant. They got everyone's attention by clanging on something. They batted their eyelashes and made me stand on a chair. They gave me a Tumbler with some silverware in it. While they sang their Hooters Girls version of Happy Birthday, I had to move and shake the Tumbler to make noise … while dancing the Twist ... on top of that chair. It's just one of those things a guy has to do. WHAT? Heyyy! Making a fool out of myself was worth it. The view was what with all those Hooters Girls down there.

Hey, Zaph, since you've been my Sidekick for this Post, I thought I'd provide you with a new word for that certain Post in your Blog. I don't know if it was coincidence or by design, but I kid y'all not, Wiktionary's Word of the Day yesterday Valentine's Day, was Callipygous. The definition is: Having shapely, beautiful buttocks. Check out the link:

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/callipygous

So, there y'all have it. The Cat is Out of the Bag. A day late, but what the heck.

What's that I see on the horizon? Whatever it is, it's coming my way at a high rate of speed. Hmmm? Let's see, if I move Right, it follows me. If I move Left, it follows me. It's coming into focus. Ahhh, why yes … elementary. I do believe it is a Mini Lynch Mob. Whoa! A Mini Lynch Mob? WTF? It's all the female readers of my Blog. And it's being led by The 3 Amigas --- Jen, Mags & Marike. Wait! Slow down! Hold on, ladies! Pretty please with chocolate on top. What seems to be the problem? What did I do wrong? Ohhhhh! The title of my Post. I wasn't referring to y'all. Well, now that y'all brought it up, y'all HAVE been a Bad Influence on me … but, in a great way! Is that a paradox or what? Now that we got that little misunderstanding and this Intro monologue out of the way, I'll segue into my story for the week.

This week, I will regale y'all with a flashback account of an interesting, strange Saturday evening about 5 years ago featuring Un-Carlos-like behavior. Let's just say that I somehow allowed these 2 women to be a Bad Influence on me, resulting in an uncharacteristic rebellious Carlos, bordering on Troublemaker.

There was this annual festival going on across the freeway from where I lived. The headliners that evening were going to be KC & the Sunshine Band and All for One. It was free, so I walked on over there. I had heard about All for One from one of my nieces. In case some of y'all aren't familiar with them, they are a very good Vocal Group … great harmonies. All for One started off first. Their vocal performance was great. Awesome harmonies. I did have a gripe though. I had never gone to a concert before where the music was recorded. WTF? Recorded music … at a LIVE concert? I thought that was for the Britney Spears, the Ashley Simpsons, the Miley Cyruses and such of the Bubble Gum Pop genre. Nevertheless, I behaved throughout this portion of the concert.

KC & the Sunshine Band was up next. As they finished setting up and tuning up, the crowd of course started getting bigger and tighter up front. At this point, let me point out that during the All for One's set, some of the crowd was standing and some was sitting down on the ground / grass area. Everything went without a hitch during that set. No one complained. KC & the Sunshine Band started playing. Immediately, most people were there dancing where they stood. It was one big dancing mass up front. Behind us, were a lot of people sitting and lying down on blankets and sitting on lawn chairs. Ahhh! Suddenly now that KC was playing, it bugged those people behind us, that we were standing. Some of those people behind us started coming up to us to ask that we sit down because they couldn't see. Little by little, people were obliging and sitting down.

Enter into the picture … the infamous Bad Influence Women. From here on, I'll refer to them as the BIW. They were standing next to me. One of them just up and advised me, "If those people in the back tell you to sit down, don't listen to them. Fugg 'em! If they can't see, let the Fuggers stand up." Some people came up to them to ask that they sit down. Without batting an eyelash, the BIW solidly said, "NO!" The more people came up to them to ask that they sit down, the bolder they got. They were now in full "Telling People Off" mode and seemingly enjoying it. By now, I too had now been officially Ummm, influenced. The metamorphosis into Rebel Carlos had now transpired. I too was now standing my ground and telling people that, "NO, I am NOT going to sit down. This is an outdoor concert. There are no chairs. Therefore, I am standing."

Eventually, it was just the BIW and I still standing in that area on the Right side of the crowd, which was separated from the Left side by a passageway. In the Left side of the crowd, there were still plenty of people standing. Back on our side, the people in the back were now officially pissed off at the BIW and I. They were now literally talking behind our backs and shouting this & that at us to sit down. But, we Troublemakers, Ummm, I mean the BIW and I stood our ground. Well, obviously several people reported us to Security. Security came up to me and told me I was gonna have to sit down. Normal law-abiding Carlos would have given up the cause then and sat down. After all, this was now Security we were dealing with. Ahhh! But, remember, this was no longer normal Carlos. This was now badly-influenced Rebel Carlos. So, I had the nerve to tell Security Dude, "Why are those people over there on THAT side NOT sitting down?" Security Dude goes, "Well, cuz the people in the back over there are not complaining, I guess." I shot back, "Well, then I am NOT sitting down. You want me sitting down, you tell those people to sit down as well." Whoa! Who said that? ME? Believe it or not, my assertiveness made Security Dude blink cuz he left. I was like, "Yeah! I'm BAD! Take THAT, Security Dude! And don't come back unless you want more of the same!"

A couple of minutes and KC songs later, Security Dude comes over again to tell me I was going to have to sit down. I tried some version of my previous assertive routine on him again. This time he was a bit more assertive himself and wasn't buying my Rambo Act. This time he conveyed more seriously that if I didn't comply and sat down, they WOULD take further action. Now handcuffs and being hauled away wasn't mentioned, but I didn't want to risk finding out. However, Security Dude at least met me halfway. He said I couldn't stand where I was, but that if I wanted to remain standing to at least move to the other side of the rope on the ground by the nearby passageway. That was fair enough. I moved to the other side of the rope and remained standing.

Security Dude then went and talked with the BIW and gave them the same fair compromise option, to move to the other side of the rope. I mean, we're talking the BIW just had to move about 2 or 3 feet and they could remain standing. But, Nooooooo! No one was going to tell the BIW what to do. They refused to move 2 or 3 feet. More Security was called and the BIW were hauled away. I kid y'all not, the people in the back clapped! I was like, "Wooooooo! I'm glad I complied. I would have been hauled away."

I was now the lone person standing in my area. People in back of me were still bitching about me still being standing. While I now had Security's permission to be standing there, I was getting nervous. I went, "As much as I am enjoying KC's music, I think I'd better leave before their set is over. I still have to walk back to my place across the freeway. If I wait until the music is over, I'll probably be followed and lynched." So, I just estimated when KC's set was probably almost over and I tried to make a low profile exit out of there. But, Nooooooo! All the people in the back noticed that I was finally leaving. Again, I kid y'all not, those people also clapped this time that I the annoying Troublemaker Rebel Carlos had left. - I made it home safely. I kept looking back as I walked in the dark. No lynching took place.