Thanks everyone for dropping by to visit and for reading my story.
Whoa Whoa WHOA! CUT!!!
C'mon, Suntana! WTF was that? What's with the half-baked brutal Intro? And where's the finesse and Texas-sized detail? We want some elaboration. C'mon, tell us. Who got their Butt kicked? Did they ask for it and did they deserve it? And why is the Old-fashioned Butt Kicking --- New?
Okay, so you twisted my arm. I'll elaborate on all that stuff.
It was 2 weeks ago today that the aforementioned New Old-fashioned Butt Kicking transpired and / or was administered. The story actually starts on the day prior to the Butt Kicking. That Friday evening, I got a phone call. It was my friend. She goes, "Hey, we're going to need your help. We need your computer services." I go, "Okay, what happened this time?" My friend goes, "Oh no, it's NOT like that. It's actually sorta Good News. We bought a new computer. Well, it's used, but it's newer and more powerful than the one we have. We bought it from my husband's sister. We need you to come set it up for us." I asked, "Is it Windows XP or Vista?" My friend replies, "Nnnnggg, I don't know. I can't remember." It was of course my preference and I was hoping that their new computer had Windows XP since by now I am of course pretty familiar with it. If their new computer had Windows XP, that would give me the opportunity to show up like a Marvel Comics Super Hero … King Shit Computer Wizard Guru Master Know-It-All. I would be a sight to behold. I would amaze, mesmerize and enthrall my friends with my computer prowess. I would go in there with a swagger of confidence and in some short amount of time, I'd just Click Click Click. BAMM BAMM BAMM! Bada Bing Bada Bang! Zip Bam Boom! Mouse away here … Mouse away there and I'd be finished. I'd be like, "I'm DONE! Y'all's new computer is up & running. Y'all are good to go. Now now, C'mon! Get up off the floor. No 'We're not worthies' are necessary." At least THAT was the plan.
Enter Stage Right … Reality. After I flew there, as any mainstream Super Hero would do, I swaggered in and removed my Cape as it was gonna be getting in the way. I went over to see this Child's Play, Piece of Cake computer that needed setting up. Well, it was this HP Tablet computer that I THINK was theoretically considered to be in the "Mobile" category. Uh Hmm. Yeah, right! Mobile. That computer was Mobile if you consider lifting up and carrying a car engine, Mobile. That Fugger was HEAVY! I don't know what was inside that computer, but for some unseen reason, that Sucker was a LOT heavier than what it looked. It had to be the heaviest computer I have ever lifted.
Anyway, I first proceeded to transfer whatever Files, Docs, Etc. they had on their old computer, onto my Flash Drive. Then I spent about an hour just wiping out as many programs and Software Apps remnants I could find anywhere that needed to be uninstalled or removed.
Finally it was time to hook up and fire up the Behemoth Beast of an alleged "Mobile" Tablet computer. It was then that I noticed the first thing I didn't like. Okay, so I guess you could say it wasn't so much a case of me NOT liking that thing, but it was something with which I wasn't familiar. This computer had a Wireless Mouse and a Wireless Keyboard. Oh Goodie. I powered up the computer. Then the Biggie of the Suntana's Super Hero Show friends-mesmerizing plan-unraveling fest was divulged. I found Windows Vista thrust into my eyes for the first time ever. Oh Fugg! Son of the BEACH! Just what I didn't want. I have ZERO experience with Windows Vista. And when you throw in the Wireless Mouse and Wireless Keyboard, I was in serious uncharted territory here. I was like, "Don’t panic. Never let them see you sweat. How hard can this be? You figured out Windows XP in no time flat. You'll just engage in some Mousing & Clicking around and in a couple of minutes you'll have Windows Vista eating out of your hand."
Enter Stage Left … Reality: The Sequel
As the computer was Booting Up, I immediately realized the Wireless Mouse was NOT working. And neither was the Wireless Keyboard. The computer finished Booting Up and not a creature was stirring … NOT even a Mouse. Crap! So, I got the stack of documentation for the computer and searched for how to get the Fugging Wireless Mouse and Keyboard to work. Ahhh! I found it … the section on how to manually sync the Mouse and the Keyboard to the computer. I'd soon get back to my Super Hero duties, or so I thought. I performed the Wireless Mouse / Keyboard Syncing Procedure to the letter several times to no avail.
Being all out of ideas, I asked my friend's husband if he could call his sister to see if she knew why the Wireless Mouse & Wireless Keyboard weren't working. He did get a hold of his sister. She goes, "Ummm, did you connect the Sensor?" I go, "The Sensor? What Sensor?" She goes, "It's this Mouse-looking thing." I immediately went, "Ohhh! Okay, I saw that and didn't really know what it was for. Okay. Got it! I'll hook it up. Thanks." I thought, "Yeah, Baby! I'll have that Wireless Mouse and Wireless Keyboard working like a fine-tuned Racecar engine in just a minute." I hooked up that Sensor / Receiver thing and again Booted Up the computer. And it was 2nd verse, same as the first. That's right. Still NO Mouse or Keyboard activity. Double Fugg!
We called up that woman again and asked her if she had any more bright ideas on why the Mouse & Keyboard were still not working. She said that's all she knew because really this other guy did all her computer setup & maintenance. We called up that guy. He said that really the Mouse & Keyboard SHOULD be syncing up just simply by Booting Up the computer. He said he had never had to perform the manual syncing procedure. He suggested that maybe the batteries were Low and needed replacing. So, we put in some new batteries in both the Mouse and the Keyboard. I Booted Up the computer and AGAIN still NO Mouse or Keyboard activity!
DAMN! Talk about a thorough, royal Old-fashioned Butt Kicking that I was being administered courtesy of NEW technology. By that time I was sure NOT feeling like King Shit Computer Wizard Guru Master Know-It-All Super Hero. I was officially lost and out of ideas. But, WAIT! What's this? I spotted something I had NOT noticed before. On that Sensor / Receiver thing, blended in to where it was hard to see, there was what appeared to be a Button. I go, "Hmmm? I wonder if it could be THIS simple? Could this possibly be the cause of my Wireless Mouse / Wireless Keyboard quagmire Blues?" I pressed the subtle little Button and immediately 3 LEDs on the Sensor / Receiver started blinking alternately left & right. I tried out the Mouse and the Keyboard and VOILA! That was it! It was THAT simple. An ON Button on the Sensor / Receiver unit. What a concept. How quaint. How embarrassing. I can't believe the thorough Butt Kicking I received and an ON Button was all it was.
Unfortunately, I encountered yet another obstacle. I wasn't able to get their Roadrunner Highspeed Internet installed. I have no experience in that area, which I had told my friends from the get go. Of course, we had been counting on that Roadrunner Tech Support would be able to easily guide us through the Steps. No such luck. With Tech Support Dude's accent being difficult to understand and with my friend's husband's Cellphone having horrible sound, I was missing probably 50% of what I was being told. We got nowhere. The Tech Support Dude claimed we needed a newer Driver CD. I think he just wanted to get rid of me.
My friends finally ended up having to get that other Computer Maintenance Dude whom we had called about the Mouse & Keyboard, to install their Highspeed Internet later in the week since he did have experience doing that.