Suntana's Blog Trek

On Friday, my friend Peppermint aka Linda (L2D2) wished me a Happy 4th of July and inquired as to whether I was doing anything special. I believe I replied something to the effect that unless something popped up at the last minute, I really didn't have anything special planned. Well, I mean, sure … I was originally going to go on my annual Mt. Everest climb, but that fell through the day before when I broke a shoelace on one of my Mountain-climbing Boots. As I told Peppermint, what I more likely had intentions of doing was to work on Agneta's Blog Theme if I got the Info from her on what she had in mind. That was going to be more like in the afternoon and the evening as I had plans for the morning.

I was planning to early in the morning, engage in one of the biggest and true American Fourth of July traditions. I mean, it ranks right up there with Barbecues and Fireworks in popularity. C'mon! Take a guess. What do y'all think I was planning on doing yesterday morning? Attend a parade? Go on a Hot Air Balloon ride? Water Skiing? Parachute Jump? Nah! Put all of those in a blender and you still wouldn't get the ocean of fun, which I was planning on having. No, you don't have to Google or Wikipedia it. I'll tell y'all. The cornucopia of fun in which I was, with great anticipation, itching to engage on Fourth of July morning was my Annual Fourth of July Windows Reinstall on my computer. I do other Windows Reinstalls on my computer throughout the year, but it has actually turned out that almost by tradition, I have performed one on the Fourth of July the past 3 years or so.

Hindsight being 20/20, if I had it all to do again, I wouldn't have engaged in that Windows Reinstall yesterday. As y'all no doubt noticed, I was pretty much missing in action on the OC the entire day yesterday. I had originally planned on starting the Reinstall early, like at 7:00AM. But, it wasn't to be. With having to make sure my Files were organized and updating my Backup CDs, I didn't get started until 9:30AM. With my latest Reinstall routine, if everything went all right, I could pull it off in 5 hours. Yesterday, I was going to try a new routine that could theoretically bring that down to 4 hours or so. I was going to move the AOL Install more towards the end of the routine. This is because AOL is a PITA. (Pain in the Ass) I have to manually verify / set the Settings on each of my 6 Screen Names. Then I have to engage in a series of Log Ons and Log Offs until all the AOL Updates are downloaded.

I was determined to Haul Ass Haul Shell and finish by 2:00PM or 2:30PM at the latest. Most of y'all are likely familiar with the old adage - If it ain't broke … Don't fix it! This Fourth of July would turn out to be a case where that was most certainly true. Granted to a certain extent I was performing the Windows Reinstall as a Maintenance measure since Windows 98SE is notorious for being unstable and needing periodic Reinstalls. But, I was also hoping that maybe it would neutralize the Opera navigation sluggishness problems that I've had for at least a week or more now. However, in the big scheme of things, there was NOT anything per se BROKE. Yet, I was going to, "Fix it."

My first problem of the day, yes, my FIRST of several to come, was encountered when the MS Office Suite install seemed to hang. WTF? Grrrrrrr! I HATE it when something doesn't go smoothly. I redid the MS Office reinstall, but it kept gnawing at me as to WHY did it happen and had anything been adversely affected. I was confident that I could still achieve my 4 hour target. I then got to the AOL install. It installed fine. Then I got to that PITA sequence of Log Ons & Log Offs to load the AOL Updates. That wasn't going smoothly. The Log Offs seemed to be hanging. Crap! On at least 2 occasions, I thought my computer was locked up, so I escaped out of there, which is NOT recommended because the Updates can get Fugged Up. Well, they must have indeed gotten Fugged Up because now none of the Updates were going smoothly. Nevertheless, I had supposedly finished the AOL Updates.

I went to my neighbors' place and downloaded the latest version of my avast Anti-Virus, GIMP and SUPERAnti-Spyware. I came back and installed avast. I decided to Log Off to make sure no more AOL Updates would download. As soon as I clicked on "Sign Off," I realized avast was in the process of downloading its Virus Signature Updates. Aww Shit! Son of the BEACH! I shouldn't have Logged Off. AOL Logged Off. I Logged back On. Now avast seemed to be locked up and AOL navigation was very slow. Crap! I uninstalled and reinstalled avast. Nope! Now there was still a problem with avast and AOL.

I was now in Pre-Panic mode. I decided, "Well, let me switch over to my HP Pavilion Windows XP computer and at least install GIMP in that one. I want to at least feel confident that THAT computer is still working properly." The GIMP install went without a hitch. Then avast on that computer started to download its Updates. I knew the avast Updates would take longer since I hadn't used the computer in 5 or 6 days. But, now I was really beginning to get concerned. The avast Updates download had already taken longer than it usually takes when I haven't used the computer in 5 or 6 days. I was trying to remain calm. I decided I'd just go eat and let it finish the avast Updates download. I came back and it still wasn't finished. WTF? This was NOT Good. Still trying to keep from going into Panic mode, I decided to go take a shower. I figured, "It MUST surely be finished downloading the avast Updates by then."

I came out of the shower. I went and checked on the avast Updates download status. Son of a Sewer Rat! The Fugger was still NOT finished. I concluded that it was official. Something was Fugged Up. I faced the undesired reality that I HAD to escape out of the avast Updates download. And that in doing so, I was now quite conceivably gonna wind up with TWO computers NOT working properly! But, what choice did I have? I took a deep breath and was getting ready to click on "Sign Off" when suddenly I went, "Hey, let me go check if my AOL friend Kathy replied to my E-mail already." She had replied. So, I spent a little bit of time reading her E-mail. That E-mail detour turned out to be the Lifesaver. It took just enough time so that suddenly, the Blue Box popped up, indicating that the download was complete … after 1 hour and 42 minutes. That was an aberration. It had never happened before. avast Updates are always quick and problem free. Had I not thought about checking for that E-mail Reply, I would have probably screwed up my 2nd computer also.

I then turned my attention to my main computer, my old Windows 98SE Gateway. I looked at the clock and decided, "Okay, this computer NEEDS to be working by the end of the day. I cannot afford to still be Fugging around with it on Sunday. I have other things to do … like write my weekly Blog Post. With my HP Pavilion now verified to be working and with the way my luck has gone the entire day, I'm NOT gonna waste anymore time troubleshooting and getting nowhere." So, I dove into a 2nd Windows Reinstall on my Gateway in the same day. It's NOT the 1st time I've had to go through that. I hate it with a passion when I've had to do that. Nevertheless, the 2nd Windows Reinstall went without a hitch and I did complete it at right around the 4 hours that I had predicted would happen with my Install new routine. Of course, it WAS like around 11:30PM when I finished. To think that I was supposed to have been long before that finished at 2:00PM!

That's it. Go ahead. I'll give you a couple of seconds to try and figure out what my Post is going to be about. C'mon! I dare you to predict the gist of this week's story. Is it going to involve some patented, revolutionary, gourmet recipe for making Toast that's been in my family tree for 100 years? No No, you Silly Goose! I don't mean my family has an actual tree and up on some branch, there's a loaf of bread that's been up there for a 100 years, weathering the elements … and now we're going to make Toast for breakfast. Nah! I meant the recipe had been in my family circles for 100 years. Oh never mind. That's NOT the deal here anyway.

Is my Post gonna involve buttering up a turkey? Uhhh, Ummm, well … Wooooooo! I have to be careful here because with part of my story, I can confidently say, "YES! It involves buttering up a turkey!" But, with the other part of my story, turkey is such a strong word … mainly because it involves ME!

What inspired this week's story? It was a couple of incidents by my Norwegian Flirting Buddy new friend, Mette. She recently purchased a new computer. I believe the very next day, her computer crashed. Her first inclination was to go all Rambo on the Geeks at the store where she purchased her pride & joy. Instead, she ended up calming down, behaving and treating the Computer Geek who helped her out the next morning, with respect. My friend Mette … Buttered him Up, if you will. And VOILA! Her computer was fixed! That was Exhibit A that you have to choose carefully on which situations you're gonna figuratively Chuck Norris the snot out of some Service Person … and when you're gonna skillfully and subtly Butter Up a Service Person so as to get what you want.

Exhibit B --- About 2 days ago, my friend Mette asked my friend Peppermint how she could fix up, Pimp Up her Blog if you will. Peppermint matter-of-factly suggested, advised Mette that the process was simple as taking candy from a baby. Peppermint told Mette that all she had to do was to stroke my arm, stroke my ego, tell me how great my Abs are, flirt with me and conceivably blow Cyber Kisses at me, I guess. Right! Exactly! It was to be Operation: Butter Up Chuck. Peppermint guaranteed Mette that if she followed that plan step by step, by the numbers, she'd not only have me hilariously soaking up all that flattery like a sponge, but she'd also have herself a New Blog Theme Design. So, Mette put on some Lipstick and Makeup. She curled up her eyelashes to optimum Eyelash-Batting Flirting efficiency. She brushed her hair to the perfect Sparkling Shine & Smoothness. Mette then went to her fridge and got a gallon of butter and a butter knife from a drawer. She then went over to one of my Post's Comment Boxes and started spreading butter all over me. I mean a really thick coat of butter. The next thing I knew, I had her scheduled for a New Blog Theme Design. Damn! Buttering Up worked again.

Exhibit C --- It was around 2003 or 2004. I had taken my Isuzu Rodeo to this Kwik Lube place for a Full Service Oil Change, Etc. I specifically asked for Mobil 1 10W/30 Oil. After a little while, I was told that they only had 5W/30 Oil and if that was all right. They added that actually, that was what the Service Info for my Rodeo recommended. I could vouch for that. Nevertheless, I told them, "That may be true, but in the Summer, I use 10W/30 because of the heat. If you don't have any, I can take it elsewhere." They quickly informed me, "Oh, no. No need for that. We can go across the street to Kmart and buy some." I went, "Okay, Cool! Do it."

As I waited in the Waiting Room, I did notice that some dude did go to Kmart and came back with some oil as per our agreement. They changed the oil and finished servicing my Rodeo. I was informed that my Rodeo was all ready to go. I was getting ready to pay when I noticed the oil bottles of the oil they had put in my Rodeo. They were 5W/30, as in the type of oil that I specifically told them I did NOT approve to be put in my Rodeo. So, I went, "Whoa Whoa Whoa! What is this? Y'all put 5W/30 oil in my Rodeo … after I specifically told y'all I didn't want that? I saw the guy go to Kmart. What happened?" All sheepish at having been caught red-handed, I was told, "Well, you see, they didn't have any 10W/30 oil at Kmart. And since 5W/30 is the actual recommended oil for your Rodeo, we figured there'd be no harm." I went, "First of all, I go to that Kmart all the time and I KNOW for a fact that they do have Mobil 1 10W/30 oil there. Secondly, WHY would y'all put oil in my Rodeo that I specifically said I didn't want, regardless of what's recommended for my vehicle?"

The Kwik Lube Manager was then called. Things started off civilly with him inquiring, "What seems to be the problem?" I told him the whole scenario of what I specifically asked for and what oil my Rodeo ended up getting poured into the engine. Calm and collected, the Manager reiterated that that was actually the proper oil that was recommended for my Rodeo. I countered with my reiteration, "I don't care what's recommended. I specified something. Y'all agreed to do it. Then y'all went against my wishes." The Manager finally fessed up, "Well, it's that the guy we sent over to Kmart bought the wrong oil. And since that is Synthetic Mobil 1 Oil, it is very expensive, thus we can't just throw 5 quarts of that away. We just ain't gonna do that." Not getting fazed by the Manager's tough stance, I went, "Well, I don't care what you do with that oil. It just ain't staying in my Rodeo because that's NOT what I wanted in there. Expensive or not, it wasn't my mistake. So, it's coming out!"

By this point, diplomacy and civility had officially exited Stage Left. The Manager was now officially Pissed. He goes, "LOOK! I have a Degree in Auto Mechanical Engineering! I have designed engines and transmissions. I've been in this business for many years. I happen to know NOTHING is going to happen if that 5W/30 oil stays in your vehicle because that's what it's supposed to have!" Not blinking and standing my ground, I shot back, "I don't care what Degree you have or that you have designed engines and transmissions. I asked for a specific weight of oil. Y'all agreed to comply with my request. Then error or not, y'all reneged on what was agreed."

Then suddenly, I got an idea. I was gonna take a shot at using some Psychology … Ummm, Guilt Trip, whatever. With surgical precision, I quickly added, "I had always heard that the customer is always right. I believed that. I guess I was mistaken. I learned my lesson. I know better for next time. I guess I'll take the loss this time." The Manager goes, "No No, wait. That IS correct. The customer IS always right. I just didn't like that …" I can't quite remember what the Manager said after that. But, I recall definitely sensing that with my Guilt Trip, Errr, Psychology, I had wobbled his legs of his tough stance. So, sensing victory, I suddenly out of nowhere, slipped out a Butter Knife and some Butter. Hey, just go with the flow. Humor me. Pretend that I did get some butter out. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I strategically decided to tell the Manager what he wanted to hear. So, I went something like, "Oh, I didn't mean to sound disrespectful. I'm sure with your Engineering knowledge, you're no doubt right. Nothing will happen to my Rodeo with that oil in it. It's just that …" I believe at that point, the Manager didn't even let me finish. He had already heard what he wanted to hear. I think at the end, he was just Pissed Off that I had pretty much ignored his Engineering Degree into insignificance. So, once I Buttered him Up, that is to say, once I acknowledged his Engineering Degree and agreed that he was right that nothing would happen to my Rodeo, he changed his tune. He shouted at his employees, "Okay! Drain the oil from the Rodeo into a clean pan so we can put it in my car. There's nothing wrong with that oil. Go to Kmart and get some Mobil 1 oil and make sure it is 10W/30. Put it in the Rodeo." Sure, the Manager had some definite sarcasm in his voice as he was barking his orders while trying to convey that everything was now peachy. But, WTF … I got my way and my Rodeo got its 10W/30 oil.