Suntana's Blog Trek

I got a Special Request from someone yesterday. My youngest sister was telling me she was almost finished reading all my stories in my Blog. She'd BETTER have been reading my Blog. After all, a deal's a deal. I beat her fair and square 2 out of 3 at Arm Wrestling. So, now she must deliver on her end of the bet and read my stories. Hah Hah! I’m Just Kidding! But, seriously, my sister told me, "Hey! You MUST write about your – Knocking Down the Gasoline Pump Incident." Knocked Down a Gasoline Pump? Well, Geez! That makes me sound like some Gasoline Pump Bully who scoped out and went and picked on some poor, defenseless, smaller than me Gasoline Pump. That sounds kinda harsh, I think. I'd rather think of it as me – Remodeling the Gasoline Pump. You know how it is … Vertical Gasoline Pumps were like just sooo passé. I just figured that particular Gasoline Pump in question needed a New Look. I thought I'd remodel it and give it that revolutionary New Look --- the Horizontal Gasoline Pump.

Okay, everyone pile into my Isuzu Rodeo and let's go on a Road Trip over to Memory Lane. Heyyy! Wait a minute! To where is everyone running? There is nothing to fear. It's not like I remodeled that Gas Pump last week or last month. C'mon! I'll give y'all 25¢ each to get in my Rodeo with me. Oops! I've already tried that bribery scheme before and it didn't go over very well. Uhhh, what if I said I am really a Great Driver? I AM, you know. C'mon, this didn't even happen in any kind of automotive. Ahhh, much better. Everyone buckle up.

It was I believe the summer before my 5th Grade year of school. We used to live on a farm. Every Sunday afternoon, my older brother and I would go help our dad fuel up all the tractors. By now it was so routine. We were just about finished, down to the last 2 tractors. I called dibs on my favorite tractor, the HUGE Massey Ferguson. I started it up and headed over to the fueling area to put Diesel in it. At that point, I was fully-alert that I had to be extra careful because the tractor did have this horizontal piece of Farm Equipment hitched up at the back, which extended several feet on both sides of the tractor. No Biggie. I had things under control. I approached the Diesel Pump at an angle because well, I had that Thing hooked up at the back. Remember, I had things under control. Apparently "HAD" is the operative word, as in past tense. I realized the Diesel hose was too short to reach at that angle. In hindsight, what I SHOULD have done was come in from the other direction. It would have been perfect.

But, Nooooooooooo! Suddenly for some weird reason, my alertness and my Having Things Under Control Skills took a break … a friggin' vacation! Substituting, filling in for them … was Stupidity. Inexplicably, I went, "Oh, I know. I'll come in close and parallel to the pumps. The hose should reach then." WHAT? Yep, the wheels had literally been set in motion for disaster. I somehow totally forgot about that piece of Farm Equipment hitched up at the back of the tractor. I backed up and maneuvered the tractor to position it as if I was on some friggin' Starting Line of a Drag Race. I rammed the Throttle Lever cuz I was gonna hit the brake and stop precisely in front of the Pump as per my plan. The tractor took off, almost laying down some rubber on that fantasy Race Track of mine. The next thing I know ….. SMACK! The LOUDEST, most horrible sound you could imagine! The sound woke me up from my Tractor Drag Racer fantasy and I pretty much knew immediately what had happened. I looked back and sure enough, the Gasoline Pump was Remodeled. Okay Okay … Knocked Down! Not only that, but there was this pipe, about 4 inches (Approx 10.5 cm) in diameter, which was broken and gushing out Gasoline! I immediately turned the tractor off, got off and started running towards where my dad was, about 100 yards away, fueling up some tractor with propane. I had taken about 7 steps when I remembered something. I ran back and yes, I was right … AND lucky. There WAS a valve there, which I shut off to stop the Gasoline from gushing out. Talk about luck! (A) The pipe break left the valve intact. (B) The Pump's electrical wires weren't broken or pinched, thus NOT igniting the Gasoline. Had that valve broken off, there would have been no way to stop all that Gasoline from that Above Ground HUGE Tank from gushing all out. I would have been in some serious Shit … more than I obviously already was.

By this time, my older brother had come out of the Shop. He's like, "What the heck did you do?" Scared Shitless to go face my dad, I tried to get my brother to go tell him. My brother was like, "Ah Uh! No way! YOU go tell him!" I had no choice, but to embark on that slow, long, agonizing walk over to where my dad and this other man were with that other tractor. I finally got there. My dad and that man were in the middle of some conversation. So, who was I to interrupt them? I didn’t want to be rude, you know. Plus, I was in no rush to reveal to them my unauthorized Gasoline Pump Remodeling Project. Finally I think my dad asked me what I wanted. We were talking in Spanish. Anyway, I mumbled what had to be the stupidest, most ridiculous, incorrect answer. Are y’all ready? Get this. I actually had the audacity to mumble, to CLAIM, "The Pump FELL Down." They were like, "What?" I repeated, "The Pump FELL Down." The man that was there got up on his tractor to get a better view of the Pump area and goes, "The Pump FELL Down? You KNOCKED it Down." My dad was like, "WHAT? He WHAT?"

Woooooooo! Needless to say, my dad was Freaking Out! He was already envisioning that he was gonna get FIRED for my doing. My dad and that man went to survey the damage. Luckily, it being Sunday, the Boss wasn't there. So, my dad and that man immediately engaged in fixing and covering up my MESS. They put the Pump back up and fixed the broken pipe. A whole mess of dirt was spread over the Gasoline that had spilled. Now everyone had their fingers crossed that the Pump was going to actually work what with being bullied by me. Whew! It did work. It only suffered an obvious dent on the side and now had a slight screeching sound.

Again, needless to say, my dad was seriously Pissed at me. Out of anger, he goes, I NEVER want to see you around here again. That was in reference to that it being summer, I actually was sort of his Assistant / Gofer there in the Farm Mechanic Shop during the weekdays too. Well, I took that literally. So, come Monday morning, I wasn't getting ready. My dad is like, "Why are you NOT ready yet?" I go, "Well, you told me you didn't want to see me over there again." My dad goes, "Will you stop messing around and get READY?" So, people, my advice is: If you ever engage in any Tractor Drag Racing Fantasy … check for and remember if you have any Farm Equipment hooked up in the back.