Suntana's Blog Trek

I spent most of yesterday, Saturday at a Happy Birthday Party for a little boy's 1st Birthday. No, NOT my boy, Okay? I don't have any kids. I was over there from like 9:00AM till 5:00PM or so. The party didn't actually last all that time. I just happened to be one of the ones helping with pre-party preparations for what was scheduled to be a big party. There were HUGE front and back yards to be cleaned. There were leaves to be raked … and other stuff. Let's just say they have 2 animals that they CLAIM are Rotweiller dogs. But, I don't know. I'm not sure about that. I frankly think the jury is still out on that. Based on those 2 animals' seemingly 24/7 plethora of yard fertilization tonnage … I have to question whether those 2 animals aren't actually 2 Bulls or 2 Elephants. They're friggin' Big & Scary, that's for sure. They appear rather docile, but they give me the creeps nevertheless. So yes, there was K-9 Fertilizer Booby Trap Removal Hazard Duty to be executed. And I helped a tad with the decorations.

The party was Fish / Fishing-themed. I won't get into why. Just go with me here. The party was held outdoors in a carport. Yes, in December! I guarantee you it wasn't MY idea. An outdoor party in December is always a big risk, a big gamble, even in the USA Southwest. Luckily the weather cooperated and was about as good as you can expect out of December. We covered 2 of the carport's sides with tarps and decorated the area in the Fish / Fishing theme. It looked Cool.

The party got under way. There was plenty of pizza, pasta salads, green salad, cake, ice cream, candy and soft drinks. There was a Jumping Balloon and various Fish-themed games for the kids. There was a HUGE Piranha Piñata. We had plenty of people, albeit not quite what was expected. There was a LOT of food left. While all the food was great, you know what IMO was the edible Hit of the party? The hostess allowed me to sample this Chocolate Candy that her Boss had given her as a Christmas present. Ah say Day-Um! I do believe I have to officially declare that the Best Chocolate I've ever tasted. I mean, I rave about Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. And I also love Snickers, Kit Kats, M&Ms, Hershey's and others. But, this Chocolate Candy that I tasted … Wooooooo! It was absolutely Scrumtulescent! Okay, so I got that word from the Cable TV Show Pimp My Ride. It was the quintessence of Yumm-O-liciousness. I tell you, you almost needed a license to be able to eat this Chocolate Candy. My Blogging friend Zaphira recently posted about The Stones. Well, Mick Jagger might not be able to get any Satisfaction. But, I got Satisfaction with this Chocolate Candy. I didn't have my Eyeglasses on at the time. I couldn't make out the brand of candy. After squinting, the only thing I could make out was that it said, "European Chocolate Gift Tower." That was because it was a tower of about 4 different-sized boxes of candy. After the party, I also participated in the post-party cleanup. That's why I was also up there so late.

NOW … onto the actual reason for my Post's title. Earlier in the week, another guy and I were assigned the task of making these Fish cutouts for a Fishing game for the kids. The party hostess had given us a template for the fish. The other guy chose the material for making the fish. It wasn't quite wood and not quite cardboard. It was fake bathroom tile. Since I had the steadier hand, I handled the task of cutting out the 7 fish with a Jigsaw. Never mind that I'm no carpenter by any stretch of the imagination. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've used a Jigsaw in my life. But, Ehhh, it's not Rocket Science. So, the 7 fish came out very good. Then despite not remotely being an Artist either, I proceeded to draw an eye, a gill, scales and the slots of the rear fin on all the fish. So as to achieve optimum results, I utilized the latest Artist tools of the trade. Yep, I used a Hairspray Cap, a Quarter, a Nickel, a Dime, Markers … oh, and a Ruler. The other guy painted the fish white and drilled a hole in each fish to be used for hooking the fish in the game. However, the party hostess had brought us some metal hooks she wanted us to screw into the fish. With the fish being almost ready for Party Showtime, the other guy and I decided to conduct one final test, the Fish Hooking Difficulty Test. We wanted to determine whether the metal hooks would be needed or whether we would deem that the kids could make do with the holes we drilled into the fish. So, we got a bucket of water and our string with a child-safe metal hook. We tossed a fish into the bucket of water. Well, within 2 friggin’ seconds … the fish, our party game masterpiece collaboration project SANK to the abyss of that water bucket! Yep! Just like the Titanic! WTF? The fish doesn't float? We tried some others and got the same results. Son of the BEACH! Auggghhh! Mayday Mayday! Fish Overboard! Stop the engines! Drop the anchor! Throw out a lifeline! Talk about a Major Game Prop Engineering Fuggup!

Luckily this was on Monday when we found out that our 7 fish Game Props had the floatation capability of an anvil. Even though we had plenty of days before the party, we nevertheless scrambled to make some replacement fish that WOULD freakin' FLOAT! This time we tested a piece of wood to make sure it floated. It did. I quickly cut out 7 more fish out of plywood. We quickly verified that this new batch of 7 fish did float. This new batch was a lot tougher to get ready. The plywood wasn't in great shape. So, it took a lot of hard filing and sanding to get them child-safe. We didn't want any Splinter hazards. We painted them, did the artwork and screwed in the hooks. I was tired, sore and had cramped fingers after all that sanding. But, mission was accomplished.

Then I heard the party hostess mention that the Birthday Boy's Mom had abandoned the idea of making a bigger fish cutout as a Sign to go with the balloons at the entrance to the front gate. Armed with a couple of minutes of Jigsaw experience and half-baked … or maybe quarter-baked Artist skills, I just up and decided, "Heyyy! I can make a SHARK Sign so that the snout, fins, and rear fin point like an arrow into the front gate." WHAT? Who said that? Yep, regardless of having zero history of being an Artist, I boldly proclaimed I was going to draw a Shark, or at least something that would remotely resemble a Shark and NOT be mistaken for an airplane, a tree or a guitar. I Googled up images of Sharks. I got an idea of how I would attempt to draw a Shark. I first made a sketch on a piece of paper. Very shockingly, virtually just about on my first shot, I sketched a very decent Shark. Very quickly, I went over to the half inch thick piece of compressed cardboard on which I was now going to attempt to draw a bigger version of my sketch. Lightning struck twice. I again shockingly, virtually on the first shot, sketched a very decent Shark. I did have to draw it as a Baby Shark version because of the size of the compressed cardboard piece with which I had to work. I cut the Shark with my newfound Jigsaw prowess. It is about 2½ feet x 16 inches in size. (76.2cm x 40.64cm) I filed and sanded it. I painted it grey with a dark blue outline. I drew an eye and mouth. It turned out excellent if I do say so myself. And everyone else that saw it also liked it. I printed out the party location's address and taped it with great precision to the Shark's body. The other guy that helped me, had a stand on which we hung the Shark and the balloons out by the gate's entrance.

I had hoped to post a Pic of my masterpiece Shark Sign, but the Birthday Boy's Mom hasn't E-mailed it to me yet. I've delayed this Post enough. So, I'll have to post the Pic later today or on Monday.