Suntana's Blog Trek

You all are probably wondering, "Where in Looney Tunes Land is that shameless, up to no good, Incorrigible Wordster Deluxe, Mischievous Razzer Texan? Where is that Suntana character? What is he up to? Why is he late? We want to be entertained. Does he think we're going to wait till Halloween for his weekly treat?

Never fear. Don't despair my loyal readers. Sorry I got delayed. My entire Sunday morning was booked up. I was out helping someone unload a Moving Van. We started at around 8:30AM and remained busy all the way until 1:15PM when I finally got to eat. The wait was worth it. I got to eat Turkey & Mashed Potatoes with Gravy, Peas, Macaroni Salad and Cheesecake. To drink, I had Lemonade and Big Red Soda. There were also some … Uhhh, Squash Muffins. WTF? When I heard they had Squash in them, I didn't exactly fight everyone to wolf one down. I tried a little piece that I ripped off of one. Verdict? Nnnnggg, not bad, but it didn't exactly make me want to finish the rest of the muffin. I don't know. I'll have to give them another try with an open mind. I mean, I like Squash. However, somehow when I think of muffins, I think of more along the lines of Dessert-y or something you can eat with milk, orange juice or even Dr. Pepper. Squash in muffins just sorta made me hesitate for now.

I believe it was early Saturday that my friend Mags wished me a Great Day. I can't complain. My Saturday went well, uneventful, but well. I think Mags' Great Day wish for me kicked in today. As part of my helping out with that Moving Van unloading, I got a little treat … or maybe more like a BIG treat. I was given a 32" TV. They told me they didn't want it anymore because it had a little annoying habit of not turning on right away. But, they added that once it did come on, it had a great picture. So, I took it off their hands. I've never had a TV bigger than a 20". I've been testing it throughout the afternoon to see what kind of delayed Power Up times I get. It varies between around 2½ to 4½ minutes. Not bad for a FREE 32" TV with great picture. I'm gonna see if I can find the User's Manual Online. It's possible the Programming is Fugged Up like for Auto Turn On and / or Auto Turn Off. Hopefully I can give it an attitude adjustment.

Heyyy, y'all, I have a great idea. How'd y'all like an adventure? I kinda thought y'all would. Let's get started then.

Sometime back, my sister was tossing Blog Post ideas / requests at me. She went, "Hey, how 'bout Homecoming? Everyone has … you MUST have some Homecoming incident." Eeeeee Yeah, I guess I do have a certain recollection of some girls suckering me into an undesirable situation. It was my Senior year in High School. My family had just moved to that little town that Summer. So, I was the mysterious new dude on the block. Through some oversight on my part and / or maybe some clarity-challenged schedule from which to choose my classes, I somehow wound up in Related Math class with just some Freshman students.

Homecoming time came around. For those of you loyal readers of my Blog who are from other countries and might not be familiar with the Homecoming ritual over here in the USA, this is how it goes. During Football season, there is a Homecoming event. I believe it is called "Homecoming" as a celebration when school alumni who might now be living out of town, get to all come home and meet up with friends and family. For the Homecoming Football game, off the record, it is customary that the Home Team will have chosen an opponent whom they THINK they can probably most assuredly BEAT. This way, a Football victory by the Home Team will make for a more enjoyable Homecoming night. Throughout Homecoming Week, girls run for Homecoming Queen. One candidate is selected from each of the 4 High School grades. A Homecoming Queen will be crowned at half time of the Homecoming Football game. There is a Homecoming Dance after the Football game.

Sooo, one day I was minding my own business in Related Math class. Three of those Freshman girls ambushed me. They go, "Hey, Carlos! How'd you like to do us a BIG favor?" I go, "It depends. What are we talking about here?" Little did I realize at the time that they might have been just Freshman girls, but they were adept at setting up a trap to snag themselves a Sucker Suntana. Batting their eyelashes … Damn! They were already Cheating! Confound it, those Master Manipulators! As I was saying, batting their eyelashes, perfectly tuning their Girly voices in full Operatic Damsels in Distress Turbo mode, they went, "Our friend Maria has been having trouble finding a guy to escort her during Homecoming." I go, "And what does that have to do with me?" Switching their Stressed Out Girls in Solidarity into 2nd gear, the little Manipulative Princesses went, "Well, we were wondering if YOU could escort Maria." I shot back, "WHAT? ME? Why ME? You Freshmans, boys included, were the ones who selected her. If those Freshman boys voted for her, one of them should logically be the one to escort her. Why don't they want to escort her? Something wrong with her?" The Plotting Pro Freshmanettes skillfully explained, "Oh, NO! She's a great girl! It's just that the Freshman boys are just a bunch of immature, snobby idiots." Not really realizing I was really losing my advantage, my edge, I THOUGHT I merciless gave them a Big Bowl of Read My Lips, "I'm sorry about your situation, but it's really NOT MY problem. I don't even know who this Maria is."

We went back & forth a couple of more Rounds. By the time I knew what was going on, the 3 Female In Cahoots Connivers had me secretly thinking, "Hmmm? While I'm not familiar with and have no clue who this Maria is, after all, they DID select her as their Freshman Homecoming Queen candidate. There ARE some Cutie Freshman girls whom I've seen around. Thus, logically, it stands to reason that this Maria would have to be even Cuter and Hotter than them. Hey! Who knows? We might click!"

With me now in Drooling Anticipation mode, I finally told the 3 Freshman Conspirators, "Okay, FINE! I'll do it. I'll escort this Maria." The girls went, "Hah Hah! You Sap! You're so easy!" Okay, I'm Just Kidding. The girls didn't actually say that. But, they might as well have. As luck would have it, shortly after I had already agreed to escort their mystery Maria, my foggy memory started clearing up. Suddenly it dawned on me, "Wait a minute! Now that I think about it, I do vaguely know of a Maria. Could it be? Could SHE be the one whom I agreed to escort? She IS a Freshman, I think. What have I done? Auuuggghhh!"

Yadi Yadi Yada … that Maria whom I belatedly recalled, did turn out to be the Maria I agreed to escort to the Homecoming festivities. So, it wasn't the Droolingly-anticipated Maria the Cute & Scorching Seductress Mistress, which I had erroneously logically theorized it HAD to be. To put the Cherry on top of the disastrous predicament, there of course just HAD to be a Homecoming Dance, in which we were obligated to participate. As some of y'all who have read my Double-crossed at the Wedding Post already know, dancing is NOT my forte. Oh well, I lived through it.