Suntana's Blog Trek

Friday afternoon was now upon me. Something seemed to be off. There seemed to be a void in my life. But, what could it be? I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Uh Oh! I just reread that. If I don't watch it, I might be accused of writing poetry! -- Okay, so I'd better be careful and avoid that Non-Suntana, sticky situation. I would not want to inadvertently fall into the quicksand predicament of having to explain just how the Fugg I wound up writing poetry. Otherwise, pretty soon, the next thing you know, I'd be accused of liking Literature. Words, Mud and Kitchen Sinks would certainly have to start flying if THAT happened.

But, I digress. While the cows were coming home and the day seemed to be winding down, it somehow seemed incomplete. A puzzle … with a missing piece. But, wait! Ah HAH! It finally dawned on me what the problem was. I had … I had the need … the need for SPEED? Nah! That's too cliché. I'm much too wild & crazy for something that trivial. What I had the need for was something much more FUN, adventurous, precarious and mischief-laden, Etc. I had the need for some serious gallivanting! So, I threw caution to the wind and … and I dusted off my dictionary for a round of lexicon assimilation. How else do you think I found out what gallivanting meant? OHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHH! Never let it be said Texans don't have fun.

Okay Okay, I'm just messing with y'all. Oh sure, we Texans do have fun, but that round of lexicon assimilation bit was NOT really the gallivanting in which I engaged this past Friday. I was just BS-ing there. BTW, that New Word of the Day, "Gallivanting," I got from reading one of my longtime AOL friend Lonie's Blog's Posts. She wanted me to tell my friends about her FOOD Blog. So, here is the link to her Blog: http://mydinnerswithrichard.blogspot.com/ Y'all can give it a perusal at your leisure if y'all are into food. I'll now see what I can extort out of her in exchange for that plug.

That brings me to my Post's title, my story for this Post and Whoa! Did y'all happen to notice some weird-looking, but menacing-challenged PINK creature embedded in this Post? What possible association could I have had with this creature this past Friday? I'll get to that in due time as I regale y'all with my whereabouts this past Friday evening.

I went to a 2-year old little girl's Birthday Party. And NO, Mina, this one wasn't at the Firehouse either. This one was actually in a HUGE Party Room, the extreme opposite of that Party in a Phone Booth to which I went back in March, which I Blogged about back then. This Party Room had a serving area, tables area, 2 Jumping Balloons, a McDonald's-like Slides & Crawling Through Playground Set and a Mini Movie Theater.

So, I get there and immediately see the Grandfather of the little girl for whom the Birthday Party was. I sat down at his table. After having settled in and after a couple of minutes of chatting, he starts coughing. It was then that he revealed that Oh, by the way, he had had a bad COLD recently. My immediate thought was, "Oh, just friggin' great! I don't need a Cold right now." Not that any of us ever do. But, with this H1N1 thing going around, right now the propensity is for one to immediately think the worse.

The little Party Girl's Mom's Father-in-Law arrived with the food. So, the little Party Girl's GrandDad and I went to go help bring it in. Since Eating Time was now imminent, I decided I definitely had to go wash my hands. I get to the restroom and the first thing I notice was that while it was pretty clean in there, it nevertheless had No Paper Towel Dispenser. Red Alert! Call 911! Call the White House and ask President Obama to investigate why there are No Paper Towels in this restroom what with the H1N1 thing going around. Well, I washed my hands thoroughly. Oh sure, there was an Air Dryer there on the wall. But, I had no intention of using that Hot Germ Blaster to dry my hands. I've never liked those things. Consequently, I had quite the conundrum. How was I gonna dry my hands? And the 2nd and even more critical obstacle was – How was I gonna make it out of that restroom? The door had a handle that definitely needed to be pushed down AND pulled back. How was I gonna accomplish that Mission Impossible without contaminating my hands? With my hands still wet and pointing upwards as if I was a Surgeon, I settled on my plan of attack. I awkwardly positioned my freakin' Right Elbow on the door handle and pushed the handle down. That part was not overly difficult. But, trying to pull the door back, while still having the door handle pushed down with my elbow was proving to be quite the difficult task. I tried at least 3 times to no avail. I finally went, "Son of the BEACH! Fugg this Shit!" I then grabbed the door handle with ONE finger, pushed it down and pulled the door back. I exited and immediately got my little bottle of Purell Anti-Bacterial Gel. I commenced Operation: Hand Decontamination.

I went back to my table. With my hands now theoretically germ-free, I awaited the word for us to hit the buffet line. But, as bad luck would have it, more people show up and the inevitable, dreaded Germ-exchanging Cluster Fugg of a Handshaking Fest ensues. Secretly rolling my eyes, I can't help, but instinctively think, "Son of a Sewer Rat! PEOPLE! I just finished decontaminating my hands! Do y'all NOT keep up with the News? Can't we forego the friggin' handshaking bit? Sheesh!" Suddenly … Ahhh! What's this I see? Could it be? Or is it a mirage? No, it's real. A saving oasis in my desert of germs predicament. I noticed a little sink, soap dispenser AND a paper towel dispenser over in the serving area. So, I went and washed and dried my hands properly.

We finally got the word to go serve ourselves. I went up to the self-serve buffet line without my Glasses. I've never needed my Glasses for eating or serving myself for that matter. What could go wrong in a buffet line without my Glasses? I got my plate. I got some Chile con Queso with Corn Tortilla Chips. I then proceeded to serve myself what appeared to be Shredded Brisket with Green Onion Bits. I moved on down and got me some Beans with Bacon, Ham & Jalapeños. I tossed in some Macaroni Salad and Potato Salad. I went back to my table and started wolfing down on the food. After about 4 bites of the so-called Shredded Brisket with Green Onion Bits, a familiar, undesired taste starts activating my taste buds' Red Alert Alarm --- "Danger Danger! Cease Eating! Cilantro has been detected!" I was like, "WTF? How could that be? Weren't those Green Onion Bits?" I put on my Glasses and inspected the Brisket. That was no Green Onion Bits. That was Cilantro! Ehhh, I didn't have to go find any First Aid Kit and get some Cilantro Antidote. Actually, very uncharacteristically, that Cilantro's taste was very mild. I'm not sure why, but I stupidly ate the Brisket with Cilantro anyway.

I then went and got me a couple chunks of Sliced Brisket. Now let me tell y'all; that had to be the BEST Brisket I have ever had! The taste was awesome and it would fall apart with a mere touch of your fork. Those Beans with Ham, Bacon & Jalapeños were some of the Best I have ever had also. Pretty much almost all the food was excellent. Not too many parties where one can say that. Only this Macaroni & Cheese was tasteless. Even the Popcorn I had eaten earlier from the Mini Movie Theater was perfect. There was plenty of Birthday Cake. I was served a huge chunk. What could possibly be the Cherry on Top of all this excellent Eating Extravaganza? Unlike that Party in a Phone Booth from back in March when they had the audacity to NOT have Dr. Pepper … THIS Party Room had a Soda Fountain there. I had Dr. Pepper all night long to my taste buds' delight.

Sometime there towards the latter part of the party, this monstrosity of a Pink Piñata was brought out. It was about the size of a friggin' Grizzly Bear, I tell ya! I was trying to figure it out, "WTF is that? Is it supposed to be some Pink Bearded Little Girl?" I finally went, "Ohhh, I get it. It's a Pink Dog. Hmmm? But, with wings?" It wasn't until the end of the party when I was talking with the Party Girl's GrandMom. Somehow, I think the topic of these figurines on the tables came up. One was Sesame Street's Elmo. I was informed that the other one was a New Sesame Street character named Abby Cadabby. The GrandMom adds, "That's what the Piñata was." I was like, "Oh, THAT was Abby Cadabby? So it wasn't a Giant Pink Dog with Wings?" She goes, "No, it was Abby Cadabby. It's a Fairy."

On that note, it was time to call it a night.