Monday, 1. June 2009, 04:47:01
This weekend's Post will recount the sequence of events that turned a seemingly innocuous trip out to eat into an eventual nightmare ripoff featuring ineptitude, revenge, theft and payback.
This story takes place circa 2000. There I was, one seemingly routine afternoon after work. It had been a hard day, therefore as a popular advertising slogan suggests, I deserved a break … at McDonald's.

So, I followed that great advice. I placed my order, a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, Fries & Dr. Pepper Combo. I was asked if I wanted Super-sized Fries. I went, "Does a Wild Bear Shi™ in the Woods?"

Just Kidding! I replied, "Yes." I got my bag with my nutritious meal and started walking out. I did a check inside the bag. I noticed the Fries weren't Super-sized.

I went back to inform them that they forgot to give me Super-sized Fries. They gave me my
Pacifier Super-sized Fries and I left.
On my way home, I was driving on the side road off the Freeway. I came up to a 3-way Stop. I did a complete Stop. I proceeded on my way. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that this car coming from my right, was traveling rather fast. I had seen it before, but I had assumed it was going to stop at the intersection as it was supposed to. As I was crossing the intersection, with every second, it became more and more apparent that there was no way that car was going to stop. I started having this surreal feeling. It actually popped into my head, "That car sure looks like it's not going to stop and it's going to hit me. But, it can't be real because this is my NEW Isuzu Rodeo." Two seconds after that thought --- SMACK!

Just as I had seen the inevitable unfolding, the car ran the Stop Sign and hit the passenger side of my Rodeo.
I got out of my Rodeo, already with some slight pain on my left leg. It still seemed so surreal. I'm looking at the serious damage on the right side of my pride & joy, shiny, NEW Spruce Green Isuzu Rodeo and I can't believe it's happened. The guy from the car that hit me comes over to check to see if I was all right. I said that I was. He said that he was sorry that he didn't see the Stop Sign because he was trying to see if some apartments across the Freeway were the ones he was looking for. He was in a Rent a Car. He had just flown in from New Hampshire and was in the process of moving into town. So, it was a very inauspicious beginning for him.
Three people in different vehicles immediately stopped and came up to me to tell me that they saw the whole thing. They said they'd be glad to testify that the guy ran the Stop Sign.

I got their Info. A Police Officer came by and performed his analysis of the situation. I told him about the 3 witnesses I had. A Tow Truck was called and my former Scratch-Free Rodeo was now an according to me, Totaled Mess.

At that point I was hoping it was declared officially Totaled, beyond economical repair so that I could be given a new one. I didn't want any damaged goods repaired vehicle. Either way, it looked like an open and shut case. I had 3 witnesses in my favor ready to testify. I felt confident I wouldn't have to pay a cent.
The next morning I called up my insurance. I told them what had happened and that I needed some wheels and I needed them ASAP. A misunderstanding was to ensue and unfortunately I wouldn't find out until too late. They told me if I wanted a Rent a Car immediately, they could put it on my insurance temporarily until they verified the legitimacy of the other dude's insurance. Later they informed me that even though they only briefly put my Rent a Car on MY insurance, it counted as a Claim.
My Rodeo was towed to a Body Shop for repairs. After a month in the Shop, I am finally told that my Rodeo is ready. I go to pick it up. I give it a thorough, detailed look over. I immediately started seeing things NOT satisfactory. There was a dented Hubcap and a big area underneath the passenger door, which hadn't been painted.

The engine compartment was absolutely filthy with dust from that Bondo that is used in repairs.

I told the Service dude, "You're going to have to clean the Engine Compartment." The dude quickly counters, "Oh, we don't clean engines. And besides, that dust is everywhere in the Shop, so it is normal that it'll get into an Engine Compartment after a while." I go, "I don't care if you don't clean engines or that there is dust everywhere in the Shop. That's beside the point. My Rodeo got here with a very clean engine and that's how I am going to get it back." A bit annoyed, the dude tries to stick to his guns, "No sir. I reiterate. We don't clean engines and we're NOT going to clean your vehicle's engine. That's NOT what we do here." I ignored his intimidation attempt with, "I don't care what you do or don't do here. My Rodeo's Engine Compartment was NOT like that when it got here. Therefore, you most certainly ARE going to clean the engine … even if I have to go talk to the Big Cheese of this whole Car Dealer place here!"

Service dude STILL tried to make me blink, "Nope! Ain't gonna clean it." In Poker style, I saw his last shot and raised him a, "We will see."

I left my Rodeo there again so that they could replace the Hubcap and paint the unpainted area.
A day or 2 later, I am called again. Supposedly my Rodeo was ready again. I get there and again started to do my detailed, scrutinizing lookover. I don't think I even got to see the Engine Compartment by the time I quickly pointed out to the Service dude, "Look here! There is some over spray here on the dashboard." The dude goes, "Oh, Okay. Hold on. I can fix that." He goes away and comes back with a rag and starts wiping the over spray. It wasn't fazing it one bit. So, he goes, "Let me go get something stronger." Now he had who knows what on that rag. It must have been some
Gut Juice from that creature on the movie Alien

because the Service dude started wiping the dashboard and immediately caused a melted, gooey MESS!

The strong chemical had melted the paint on the dashboard. I was in shock. I shook my head and wiped my hand over my face as I thought, "I'm never gonna get my Rodeo at this rate." I was so pissed that I just went, "Auuugghhh! Just leave it like that! I'll see what my insurance agent says. I'm tired of this place's Screwups! I want someone else to fix my Rodeo." The Service dude goes, "I can't let you take it like that." At the time I didn't think of saying, "And why NOT? What's to stop me? I already have the keys in my hand." Instead, I went, "FINE! HERE!"
A day or 2 later, I am yet again informed that my Rodeo was ready. Déjà vu. I did my usual detailed inspection. It was Showtime! I opened up the hood to check the Engine Compartment. I guess Service dude didn't want to risk me talking to the Big Cheese. They HAD cleaned the Engine Compartment.

I was finally able to take my Rodeo out of that sorry excuse for a Body Shop.
In the coming week, I'd intermittently hear some mysterious rumbling as I would drive at high speed. Finally on the 13th day after having had my Rodeo back from the Shop, it definitely made a horrible noise as I was slowly backing out at my place. I called the Shop and they towed it back in. A day later, between the brainless Jackasses at the Body Shop and an Inspection Idiot from State Farm Insurance … they came to the conclusion that I
"drove over something" and bent the drive shaft. I was like, "WHAT? My Rodeo's been in an accident where it got a solid SMACK on the side and after I've had it for only 13 days, the drive shaft turns out to be bent … and you can't connect it to the accident?" The Body Shop Quacks and the inept, slithering Reptile of an Inspector from State Farm Insurance held their ground that their vast years of experience indicated I drove over something.

I told them that was Bullshit and I went to tell my insurance agent. He reluctantly got another Inspector to check out my Rodeo. By this time, they were all in cahoots. The 2nd Inspector concurred that I drove over something and bent the drive shaft. I was told, "We'll fix it for you, but you'll have to file another claim and pay the deductible."

Son of the BEACH! Fugging bunch of thieves!
Some days later, I am informed AGAIN that my Rodeo is ready. I performed my umpteenth inspection on it. I had barely driven half a block off the parking lot when the Low Fuel Light comes on. WTF? I used to never let my Gas Tank get lower than half way. And I distinctly remember having had ¾ of a Tank of Gas when my Rodeo went into the Shop. And now the Gas Tank was empty! Why those Lowlife Gas-stealing Scoundrels! My first thought was to go back and point blank accuse them of Gas Theft. But, I was sooooo Fugging tired of seeing that Service dude's face and anyone in that place for that matter, that I just decided, "Fugg It! Let it go. Let it be. Take the loss and keep driving." I had to fill up the tank when I KNEW they Ripped Me Off! I immediately went and found me another insurance and kicked the clueless State Farm Insurance Highway Robbery, Extortionist Experts to the curb.