Wasted Days and Wasted Nights
Sunday, July 19, 2009 9:36:15 PM
Have y'all ever had a day whereby nothing, I mean NOTHING goes right? You know … the kind of day whereby even if you performed the equivalent of a Reboot on your day, you'd still get a Blue Screen with some indecipherable error message. I'm talking the kind of day whereby you would need the equivalent of a Windows Reinstall on your day in order to get it out of FUBAR mode. If anyone is not familiar with the term "FUBAR," just inquire in a Comment and I or someone else will be glad to explain.
I loosely had my Saturday planned out. I was going to my friends' place to perform that periodic computer maintenance, Anti-Virus Scan, SUPERAnti-Spyware Scan, Etc. for them. While there, I was gonna help this guy install one of those Refrigerated Air Window Units. The guy that lives there works the graveyard shift so he got there around the time the other guy and I were gonna handle that theoretical EASY task of installing that Window Unit. We told my friend to go ahead and just get some sleep. We would handle the Child's Play task. It would virtually be like taking candy from a baby, right? Granted, it was one of the BIGGER Refrigerated Air Window Units that you'll find. But, still … C'mon! How many guys does it take how much time to install one of those units?
By all accounts and my calculations, the computer maintenance and Window Unit installation would be completed no later than Noon and I'd be back home. I would then engage in writing my Post. Keep in mind, we started at 9:00AM.
Anyway, back to the story. I proceeded to engage in some multi-tasking. I was switching around between the computer maintenance, cutting weeds and helping out my Chief Partner in Disaster. Oops! I mean, my Chief Partner in Handyman Engineering. That guy is normally one of the Best Handyman you'll want handling a task like this. Since that Window Unit was pretty BIG, Handyman Guru Dude decided he was going to build a Stand to place under the Window Unit for support. So, he was measuring and cutting boards and I was helping nail the precisely-engineered pieces. We quickly noticed we were going to run out of boards. Whoa! WTF? How'd that happen? Luckily we noticed some old stairs for the mobile home lying around. The plan changed to attaching the Stand to those Stairs.
More Master Carpenter-like measuring, cutting and nailing ensued. The Stand was pretty much ready. Suddenly I notice, "Whoa! What's this? Why is the Window Unit THIS width and the Stand is only THIS width?" Handyman Dude goes, "I don't know." I go, "You MUST have gotten that measurement from somewhere." He goes, "Yeah, but I just don't remember." So, we had to improvise and tack on some support blocks to make up for the 6-inch width deficit.
With the sturdy Fortress-like Stand now complete, in place and capable of supporting Godzilla if need be, it was time to install the Window Unit. There was a little bit of assembly required, which as most guys will do, we attempted to do it without the instructions. They sucked anyway. One part just didn't make sense as to how it was supposed to be attached. So, we drilled some friggin' holes in the unit and attached the Fugger. Take THAT! A lot of meticulous leveling ensued. After seemingly an eternity, we were finally ready to fire up that baby … that BIG Baby and feel the Antarctica Cool air! We go to plug it in and notice the Plug is NOT the normal Plug that usually goes in the typical house wall outlet. WTF? Shit! Okay, calm down. No problem. So, maybe we'll just buy an Adapter. Then we scrutinized the Plug and the User's Manual and realize the Window Unit is a 240-Volt Unit … NOT a 120-Volt Unit! Major Fugg Up!
With the inside of the mobile home a Mini-Furnace, we had 2 options. We'd either have to install a Heavy Duty 240-Volt extension … or we had to take out the Unit and exchange it for a 120-Volt model. Ohhhhh! I forgot to tell y'all. Just minutes earlier, we had already shred the box the Unit came in … to pieces! How the Fugg would we now be able to exchange the Unit at Walmart now? My friend managed to somehow convince Walmart to exchange it without the box.
My friend and I went to Walmart. We wanted a Unit slightly bigger than a smaller one, which he had installed earlier in the week in another room. The only ones we saw there, my friend said they were the same as that small one. So, we just returned the Big Sucker and got the price credited back to the Credit Card. We then went to Lowe's Home Improvement. The biggest Unit we found was around the same size as the one we had just seen at Walmart, but for $5 more. My friend wanted to take it. I reminded him, "But, don't you want to get the one at Walmart because with your friend's Discount Card, you get a 10% Discount?" That would be a $30 savings. So, we drove back to Walmart. With the way our day had gone, guess what? We never did find my friend's Walmart contact to get that 10% Discount. We had seen him just minutes earlier, but now that we needed the 10% Discount, no one knew where he was. My friend had to purchase the Unit at full price.
We got back to the mobile home and proceeded to install the 2nd Window Unit for the day. The instructions sucked and we couldn't figure out where these 2 plastic thingies went. We just knew it was supposed to be done with the guts of the Unit taken out. WTF? Why is one supposed to Fugg around with opening up a Unit before installing it? Why isn't this Crap ready to be installed? We said, "Fugg It" and meticulously leveled the Unit. It was time to fire up the 2nd Unit for the day. We turned it on and immediately heard this, "Wah Shahgah Shahgah Shahag Sheenwah Shakah!" WTF? We turned it off. We inspected everything. We tried varying the incline level. We took the Sucker apart. Another eternity later, the verdict was that the Unit was defective. The Fan was rubbing on the housing. Son of the BEACH!
We had no choice, Handyman Dude and I proceeded to take out that 2nd Unit and pack it back up. My friend rushed off to Lowe's Home Improvement to purchase a 3rd Window Unit. This was beginning to appear comical. We even wondered if the neighbors weren't laughing at us.
My friend arrived with the 3rd Window Unit. Would the 3rd Time Be the Charm? My friend and I proceeded to take the Unit out of the box. I immediately noticed some of the opening fins on the case were bent and it had 2 slight dents on top. I was like, "I don't believe this Shit! LOOK! Can we get a friggin' break today?" With the heat unbearable, my friend decided as long as the Unit worked properly, the heck with the blemishes on the case. By that time, I had a short fuse. I proceeded to with some scissors, carefully cut the plastic bag, which contained the User's Manual. I try to pull it apart and realized the seal was still further down. Losing it, I blurt out, "Is ANYTHING going to go right today?" The others were like, "What? What happened?" I go, "I can't even cut a plastic bag correctly! Nothing has gone right for us today. Not even something as simple as cutting open a plastic bag. Sheesh!"
We performed the usual leveling bit of the unit. By now it was more difficult because the original design and size of the Stand, which was supposed to facilitate the install of the 1st Unit, fit neither the 2nd nor this 3rd Unit, which were both smaller. Nevertheless, the 3rd Unit for the day was now installed. We plugged it in. We powered it up.
Drum Roll … Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr … PISH! It worked! It hummed smoothly, nice & quiet!
Whew! So, back to the original question: How many guys does it take how much time to install one of those Units? Considering we started at 9:00AM and it was now … Uhhh, 7:00PM, it on some level took 4 guys 10 hours to install a Window Unit. Heyyy! Wait a minute! Before y'all laugh hysterically, that WAS THREE Units, Okay? Plus, in that time, lunch break and waiting while 2 subsequent trips were made for purchases of the 2nd and 3rd Units. And 2 of those 4 guys were part time help, whenever they were available here and there. Still a LOT of time! What a DAY!
The bright side is that I immediately knew what my Blogging topic was going to be.