Suntana's Blog Trek

How is everyone? How are my friends, loyal readers and visitors doing? Is everyone Okay? Oh sure, there might be some of y'all who might be thinking of going Rambo or Billy Jack Berserk on me because I've allegedly been torturing you by making y'all wait for my next Post. Calm down. Take it easy. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat this until you get Woozy and pass out. Then I won't have to write a Post. Just Kidding! Don't repeat too many times. Do it only until you achieve a nice serenity zone. Anyway, the delay in writing my next Post was actually for y'all's benefit, or at least for SOME of y'all's benefit. Yes, I am that nice of a guy. I have y'all's best interest and well being in mind. There was talk on the grapevine that after my last Post, several of my loyal readers wound up in therapy and that sales of Pepto-Bismol and Mylanta rose because of my Post's Ummm … stomach-exercising nature. So yeah, apparently there were some minor cases of pain and suffering and mental anguish and stuff. Rumors of a lynching have NOT been confirmed. Whew! Consequently, I took some extra time off before writing my next Post so as to allow everyone to recuperate from my last Post.

Recently, my friend Lucy (Lovinmalamutes) put up a Post about funny things we all do and embarrassing situations in which we all get ourselves stuck all the way up to our elbows or maybe even our neck. It was a buffet of hilarious incidents. Granted we all have our share of incidents that while they weren't funny as they were going down, they're nevertheless funny NOW. A lot of times we are innocent bystanders minding our own business when happenstance pushes us into the quicksand of ---
When Duh Moments Happen to Good People.

Flashback to Ohhh, I believe it was around the time that I was in the 4th Grade in school. As I've mentioned on other occasions, at that time, we lived out on a farm. My Dad was a Wizard as the Farm Mechanic. The very essence of Mechanics was in his blood. If he cut himself, he'd probably bleed wrenches, gears or something along those lines. Okay, so I embellish a tad. I'm trying to set the tone here. With me being the son of the Genius Mechanic who bled tools and oil when he cut himself, it stood to reason that all of that was in MY blood as well, right? After all, I did hang out with him … observing with an eagle eye. I was assimilating, soaking up all this Mechanics erudition like a sponge. Possibly a future Master Mechanic was being molded about like a Claymation Cartoon.

So, one day after lunch, my Dad casually mentioned that he had to put some oil in the transmission of our Rambler Station Wagon. I immediately saw the perfect opportunity to not only be a ready, willing and able helper, but it would provide the perfect opportunity to showcase my Mechanic skills and get some practice in the process. All excitedly, I volunteered, in similar fashion to the Horshack style that would come much later on the TV Show Welcome Back Kotter … "Ooooooo Ooooooo Ooooooo! I'll do it! Let me! I know how to do this.!" Cautiously, my Dad inquires, "Are you SURE? I'm NOT talking about Engine Oil. I'm talking about Transmission Oil." Without blinking, stuttering or hesitating, I reiterated, "YES! I know the difference between the Engine Oil and the Transmission Oil. I know EXACTLY where to check the Transmission Oil and where to add Transmission Oil. I've seen it before."

With me being as convincing of my Mechanic skills as a Used Car Salesman is of his claim that a Used Car is in great condition, my Dad bought my pitch. He then gave me carte blanche to go to it. Git'r DUN! A 4th Grader was now on a mission to go check and add Transmission Oil to the transmission of the family Station Wagon. What could go wrong? After all, said 4th Grader Mechanic Prodigy swore he knew what he was doing. I'm sure 4th Graders add Transmission Oil to transmissions all over the world everyday, right?

I got out there to our Station Wagon. I opened up the hood as all Certified Mechanics do. I skillfully found the Dipstick for checking the Transmission Oil. Yes, the Transmission Oil, NOT the Engine Oil. C'mon, y'all, give me a break. Remember, I said I knew EXACTLY where everything was. With my vast … Ummm, days or conceivably weeks of experience, I confirmed, "Yep! It sure does need a little bit of oil."

I proceeded to add some Transmission Oil. I checked the Dipstick again. Hmmm? It didn't make much difference. Being as detail-oriented back then as I am nowadays, I had to make sure I added the proper amount of oil so as to have the Level Indicator precisely on Full. So, I added MORE Transmission Oil. I then checked the Dipstick again. Hmmm? That was odd. I had added virtually an entire quart of Transmission Oil and the friggin' Dipstick was still at the same level, still needing more oil.

I went back inside and asked my Dad, "Do you have anymore Transmission Oil?" My Dad goes, "What for? Didn't you have a quart of Transmission Oil?" I go, "Yes, but I added it all and the Dipstick STILL indicates that it needs plenty more." My Dad now officially concerned, decided to now check out the situation himself. My Dad checked the Dipstick for the Transmission Oil and sure enough, it DID still need more oil. Going through the motions, my Dad goes, "Well, where were you adding the Transmission Oil?" I showed him, "Right here." Immediately, my Dad was, "WHAT? Auuuggghhh! That is where the Engine Oil goes! You added Transmission Oil into the Engine! Now I'm gonna have to drain the oil from the engine. You told me you knew what you were doing!" It was only then that I realized that yes, I DID normally know the difference of where the Transmission Oil went and where the Engine Oil went, but I just plain ole had a Duh Moment whereby my brain just temporarily took a nap. I knew better. I really DID. I was just victim to a plain ole lack of focus and a ginormous case of temporary stupidity.

My relentless, over-exuberance had written a check that my ability to deliver could NOT cash.