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Ranting in the dark

A truly awesome view on human stupidity

Wake UP! COFFEE!

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It was the highlight of the summer. Being waken up early in the morning, by crazy, screaming strangers. You would think it couldn't happen to you every day for weeks and weeks in a row. And then it does and you realize you're so drunk still that you can't crawl out of god-damned tent/bed/gutter to take a piss. But it won't go away, so what do you do - you foolishly stumble out, look at the world as if you can disintegrate anything just by looking at it. And you keep going.

Coffee, or beer, or whatever really, just don't forget to hydrate and it'll all be cool, right? And then there's another poor, unfortunate soul who, just like you, has arisen with a gravely look on its face. Boom! You give them the coffee and there it is - instant happiness. Or should I call it properly - instant craziness. Because no normal person keeps going on like that day after day, powering himself from the inexhaustable power supply that only kids have. Always running, constantly smiling, ever-curious, a perpetum mobile of fun and seeming madness.

And you can't stop laughing, even for a second or you'll pass out and it'll all end in the usual boring way - sleeping, while you should have been screaming. It's said that one minute of healthy laughter is enough to compensate for one hour of sleep. If that is the case, I am not going to be sleeping like a human being any time soon now. You know you've had fun when you actually see the muscules involved in laughing to tighten over time and your belly looks like you've been punching it for weeks, so it's always tense.

And you can't do that alone, of course, because then there's a real chance of you just ending up with only the voices in your head. And of course, they're all idiots or at the very best - comedians. And if you've got one more, you can share the load, or together be both at the same time. And then people wish you the best wish ever - to remain so crazy happy and smiley forever. And you know it's true, it's addictive and infectious, you make everyone else smile along and you make their day. And you are the tinders, the fucking firestarters even - you set the bars and dancefloors ablaze, people moving, jumping, dancing, screaming. And they laugh and they cry, while you sit there in the blazing fury you've made out of your world, like avatars of everything that is good and out of control, combined together into your unstoppable entities. And then then it all ends, you exhale, exhale, exhale, thinking - oh my god, what on earth did we just go on and do, again. And you think you've earned some rest.

But no. Wake UP! COFFEE!

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