Posts tagged with "emotion"
Saturday, 5. July 2008, 01:19:25
thoughts, annoyance, emotion
Never say never.
Fuck this shit. I solemnly vow:
To never brood again. To have life as it is. To have defeat as a fucking digestive, bitter but yet refreshing. Clearing your mind and bringing you down to earth. Flying high is a tough drop, is it not?
To never be gloomy again, for I am not an emo freak.
To never have to suck it up again, for I am not one that ignores reality.
To enjoy, lo live, to shape a reality of my own. To control, twist, enlighten, support, degrade, help, screw over, embezzle, to model the world of my liking. To cancel, crush, force, ask, demand, gain and stabilize - my life. Out of it, out of the crowd around, out of the masses. Out of the weak and out of the strong alike.
They keep telling me war is the answer
It's a disease of the spirit
It's more than just cancer
It runs through the blood deeply
These cowards are sneaky
They try 'n keep me quiet from starting a riot
I try to be silent
The solution is violence
Couldn't see it any other way
Bust a shot, one time for my run-away
Going in the real, old, deep jungle. /away
Never!
Thursday, 3. July 2008, 00:28:45
thoughts, happyness, emotion
Live for the day. That day you always wanted. That day that rocks your world, that day that the smile never goes down from your face.
Go out. Out with the people you have as friends, the good ones, the ones you care about.
To smile, to have fun. To see the better side of life and live for it, while it's there. To have the joy, the freedom, the exitement. To have the chemistry (your own, you junkies) rushing through you, have the body and the mind take you to the place you want to be.
To listen, to enjoy. The music, the one that makes you go wild, the one that uplifts you. The one that resonates within you and drives that hidden engine of entertainment. The one that makes you live.
To live, to roam, to see, to be the city that you live in. The one full with all those strange people. The one full with all those cool people. The one where you can go out any day and know where you'd be at home. The one that fills up your current "home".
To meet, to love, to enjoy the people around you. To feel and enjoy the crazy diversity around, without spite, without bitter sarcasm. To have fun.
To laugh, and be laughed at. To smile and create smiles. To see humour appreciated and to be able to appreciate humor. To live a life of joy.
To know - all that, and to see what you have, in spite of it being temporary, a passing moment, a year, a day, even a second. And to love it till the end.
To go home in the middle of the night, while it's light outside. To see the sun rising slowly at 3AM and to smile and enjoy.
To listen to the best of music all night and still be able to enjoy even more, while at home. To know what you're looking for and to have it power you up. (Right now that's Miika Kuisma, with Intelligent Design, again, in the middle of the night, and - oh man - is he right at the spot as always).
To see and to believe. To live and to forget. To sieze and to let go.
To be what you want to be. To know what you want to know. To control everything that deserves to be controlled but at the same time go with the flow.
To have life, as it should be.
How awesome is it?
Monday, 18. February 2008, 00:01:15
emotion, music, thoughts, addiction
Drugs, pills, nicotine, alcohol, sex, company, people, parties, music, food, sports, fantasy, love, attention, life. Deny it all you want - you're an addict. It's not the question of whether you are or not, the question is at which level. Whether the amount and/or nature of your adictions still fits in the socially acceptable threshold or not.
I know for myself that I have failed. I crave, I seek and I find, use and abuse at least half of the matter listed in the above passage. I might be fitting nicely into the social maximums of emotional stimulants, at least for most of the people. Not for some, but I can't please everyone now, can I?
You woudn't believe me here initially, but just think about how much I've said about music in my limited amounts of posts. I'm a music junkee, I seek to find power for emotions within music and I'm doing pretty good at that. There's music all around me for most of the time and it's not hard to find anything you're looking for in my collection. I'm just telling you how easy it is to understand how hooked up you are, how dependent on external stimuli. And how you'd have severe withdraws from some, if you think about it. Don't exactly expect me to fill you in on the rest though, some things I keep for myself.
Giving an excuse to a junkee is stupid because of that. Because everyone of us is, just in a slightly different way. One that's deemed acceptable, because there's certain processes and emotions that don't function on their own. They're always based on the perception we have of the surrounding environment, whether physical or mental, on the effect it has on us, on purely low-level phisiological level. It's not much different. Whether triggered by a touch, a sound or a pill, the mental end-result is often the same. We're all looking for the same product here, it's just the packaging that's different.
Give me MORE !!!
Your memory's gone and so is your life, Mota boy
But losing out just never felt so right
Your enemy's you and so is your life, Mota boy
But losing out might feel okay all night
Monday, 11. February 2008, 11:54:48
facebook, annoyance, internet, emotion
"You have received an invitation to the 'What kind of mother would you be' application"
...
WTF
...
Seriously now - you people have gone INSANE. How the fuck does the idea spring into your mind - the idea to chain-letter-spam everyone into a blissful, retarded oblivion? I've seen some stupid shit in my days, but man - it's always surprising to see how far the sheep mentality can get.
In case you you haven't figured it out yet - I'm talking about the Facebook. The 'new' social-ish, web 2.0-ish system that connects you with all the people you didn't want to talk to in the first place. And then they chain-spam you with quizes that you can't take without spamming 20 people more and all kinds of mutations of the good old "Send this shit to 20 people or your balls are going to fall off" mails.
Genious. I bow to you, oh allmighty creators of Facebook for having accomplished so much for yourselves, with blatant disregard to the well-being of your users. You're my idols - when I grow up, I want to be just like you. Really. I'm not kidding here.
*Connecting* millions of people, getting access to their mail accounts, storing and selling vast amounts of personal information and last, but not least, applications. Applications that *anyone* can make. Man, a day does not go by, when I don't think - I should have thought of that first. I knew it was so much more easier to manipulate people into what I want to acheive, but the scale this thing managed to reach in 1 year is astonishing. The power of the interwebz, combined with the empty minds of millions of social wannabes - truly one of the most amazing feats of our days.
Does it make you warm and fuzzy on the inside, when you share your supposedly private details with hundreds of unknown commersial entities? Do you really achieve satisfaction from the fact that your friends list says you've 432 of them? Fuck - I probably haven't known well 432 people in my life, all kinds of various definitions of 'friends' aside. Is a friend really a person that you send 5 chain-letters per day, on average? Sweet zombie Jesus, the definition must have changed somewhere between last time a real friend of mine saved my sorry ass and when I joined this globalized abomination of a social service.
I could go on, in fact maybe I will. But for now - I'll keep my hate for myself, like a good old song advises me to do. I'll just tell you one thing. You're stupid. Maybe even more than I am - and that, dear reader, is a sad, sad thing.
buhbye.
Saturday, 2. February 2008, 12:17:09
nightmare, horror, emotion
I still hear you, even when you don't talk to me.
I hear, your silent screams at night, alone in the dark. The cries of pain, that your eyes don't dare show.
Worry, anguish, fear - I hear you, I can hear them all. I can hear your heart beating. I can hear your heart stopping and skipping.
I hear the darkness, creeping around the corner, slowly approaching you. It has nothing to hurry for. I can hear you, waiting patiently for it. Your trembles in the dark, underneath the covers of the bed, I can hear them, I can hear your anticipation. You're waiting, you are ready.
I hear the air as you fall down into the pits, into the dark void, spread behind you. I hear no screams, no cries of pain. I can't feel, I cannot hear myself, it's all empty.
I hear you still... But I see myself.
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