Ranting in the dark

( Zee work is in progress - Zee rambles collection, zee practicularly stupid ones. )

This will probably not going to come out the way I wanted it to. Then again, why would it matter what my intention is - the feeling and the result are all that matters. They say that the way to somethingy is paved with good intentions. I can only assume that the somethingy is not exactly positive.

I have no good intentions. My intentions are cruel, seething with fury, hate, fear, depression. It's what could happen to people faced with something they wouldn't know how to deal with, or so I think. And it is because I, like you all, am a victim of the digital age.

Faceless, clueless, ignorant, exiting and enticing. Illusions are the first weapon. Illusions that substitute your reality and entice you into ways unfit, but undiscovered. An addict - that's what I am, clearly - by doing this post I just proved I am lost to the temptation. Because - midnight confessions - they never heal the soul. What you believe - is fantasy.

Fantastical creations of the human genius, the symbols of intellectual superiority, progress, civilisation. The symbols of soullessness, ignorance, degradation and humiliation. The ultimate creations - destroyers of mankind.

Take a look at the toys around you - right before your eyes - the toys are real.

Faceless, soulless communication, virtualized into a bitstream - a substitute for a normal human contact. The one that hides your limits and fears away from you. The one that makes you all truly equal - a falsified, faceless imitation of a human being. A human being lost and most of all - alone. Alone in his mind, even if not physically. A spiteful picture, an illusion, a grotesque of its own potential. A lie.

It's a horror. The fear taking in all of us, that we might not be fit for even this petty existence, that we might be outcasts in a non-existing world. Slaves of the electric potential difference, of formulas and dedicated minds. Whipped down by our fears and incompetences, by the illusions of our ancestors, by the lack of dreams that show desire. By lack of passion, thought, or desire to be a being you yourself created. Fear that shakes you to your core, makes a freezing wave crawl up all your nerves, raising goosebumps on your skin, panicking you, cold sweat slowly crawling down your neck. It's a nightmare, but your eyes are open, there's no escape in waking up. There's no escape outside of the virtual machine of human destruction. Deliver us to evil - deny us of our faith.

The world that offers you the illusion that nothing is as bad as you thought, as you were taught, as you were forced to believe. An illusion that talking with someone through an essentially crippled series of bits would give you the experience of spending 5 minutes with them. The illusion that typing will match the touch of your fingers. The illusion that distances don't matter, that everything could be the way it always used to. That what you do doesn't matter. Trickery.

Our past is our future - left behind, lost in time. Will we surrender? Abandon this - don't be a victim of the digital age. I don't want to live virtualized all the time, to find false substitutes to talking with people. Having a meal, having a drink, a chat, a brawl. Go o u t s i d e.

What's a moment in the air worth?

Is it just yet another trip, another drink and another jetlag? What
are the reasons that drove you so far away from home?


A moment in the air. The roaring sounds of the jet engines tearing you
away from the earth you used to walk on just a few minutes ago.
Raising you above, showing you the place below you, looking like the
postcard you never sent home.

Flying away, home, recalling the moments of your last few days, that
filled you with joy. A little sadness, mixed with the orange-crimson
colors of the sun, falling below the horizon. What was it that drove
you to an unknown place? Was it the desire to run away for just a
little, curiosity, or simple love? You're a traveller, alone in your
thoughts. A trip back from the nowhere, flashing back the moments of
your past, mixing up a knowing smile in the pool of memories and
regret. What is it that you left behind you? The smile and the kiss
goodbye from a loved one. The warmth of the afternoon streets and the
warmth in your heart.

At those moments, those peaceful and empty moments of clarity - all
you see is the mixing colors of the sky and the whiteness of the
clouds, that used to be above you. You see the night sky chasing you
and slowly taking over. You see the sky slowly fade from black, then
into the purple of the dusk, slowly to the light blue of the day,
fading away from you, and then into the little stripe of crimson red
sky. Right there - where the sun used to be. Like a rainbow, stretched
across the whole sky. Peace engulfs you - and the dark thoughts fade
away. Colors like children's paintings and candy. That's the colors of
your most precious memories.

Who are you, my little traveller? What are you chasing, what are you
running away from? You can see your life in such a different way. Bad
is fading away and the good brings back yet another relaxed smile on
your face. You close your eyes and let life get back into your
exhausted body. You can see it now, all there, all yours - there is no
good and bad, no joy and sadness. Just the little smile again, brought
up by the memories of two loving eyes.

The little lit-up places below, connected with each other. Pretty
shapes of light, shapes of where other people live. Is there someone
looking up for you? Is there a couple, staring in each other's eyes,
like you did just a few hours ago yourself?

The light changes then, the sky slowly becomes candy blue, in the
colors of the rising dawn. The night slowly fades away, despite the
fact that you should've been engulfed in darkness. There is no
darkness where you're going. There is no darkness in what you just
found in yourself.

The plane goes down. Down through the thick carpet of clouds that has
covered your home. You get into that cover of pure white, like a baby
put to sleep in the soft, white cradle. The purity of the clouds
engulfs you. You look out and you see the little shards of ice, the
little drops of water - glittering in the blinking lights of the
airplane's wings. Like a blitz-light in the club you'll go to.
Flashing moments, white reflections of the tiny particles shining
in the fog. Like the glitter in the look of your loved one, like a
diamond necklace on the neck you used to kiss.

What does it matter where you started from? What does it matter where
you landed to? You've found the colors of your life in those few
hours. You've found the smiles and the warmth of those gentle
caresses. You've found yourself, again - the happiness within you and
the smiles that will wake you up in the morning.

You live. You love. You know.

Yourself.