My Opera
Blogging
Monday, June 1, 2009 4:23:28 AM
Not that anyone reads this anyway. I'm okay with that. But I'll probably be posting on here every night-ish. I should, at least. Well, actually, I should probably be seeing a therapist. Ha. But I've realized that even when I do that, I don't talk about what I'd like to. Its not like on TV, I can't just come out and say whats been on my mind lately. Nope. So, I have this thing. I'm so dreading going to work in the morning, and the classes I have starting tomorrow and the test I have to study for. Today was my birthday, and I felt like crying through most of it. It was fun, a good day, but... eh. This was the least excited I've been for a birthday in, well, 19 years.
I so badly long to be out of school. Like, for good. Although all through middle school and High school I longed to be in college.
Bad news. I hate college. I can't think of a single thing I like about the place. Certainly not the weather, not the people, not my classes, or professors, not even the buildings or landscaping or... anything. Shit, if I dont even like the flowers, I have a problem.
I cried on my way home from the last day of classes. I cried on the phone to my mom minutes before going into my last final, my socks, shoes, feet and the bottom of my pants were wet because of the rain, I was up at 5 AM that day to study for my 7:30 final, I had one from 2-4, had to check out and then I Was on my way home. The check out was awful, I had to re-vacuum my room, apparently I'm not good enough at vacuuming and re-clean the windows and mirrors. Fuck Brian for making me do that. I was so exhausted and tired and in a horrible mood, I cried most of the way home. It was a horrible way to remember my last day of classes. I failed my math final, with only a 73 in the class. I should have had a D in it, I should be retaking it in the fall. Somehow, I got a straight 70 in the class. My teacher raised my grade. I ended up with a 3.0 for the semester. Somehow. I talked my SpEd teacher into raising my grade 6% to an A. HAH! I don't know how. Lucky me!
I still have 3 months of vacation and it doesnt seem like enough. I dread that place and going back to it.
I should get to bed. I have to be up way too early.
Fuck the real world.
I so badly long to be out of school. Like, for good. Although all through middle school and High school I longed to be in college.
Bad news. I hate college. I can't think of a single thing I like about the place. Certainly not the weather, not the people, not my classes, or professors, not even the buildings or landscaping or... anything. Shit, if I dont even like the flowers, I have a problem.
I cried on my way home from the last day of classes. I cried on the phone to my mom minutes before going into my last final, my socks, shoes, feet and the bottom of my pants were wet because of the rain, I was up at 5 AM that day to study for my 7:30 final, I had one from 2-4, had to check out and then I Was on my way home. The check out was awful, I had to re-vacuum my room, apparently I'm not good enough at vacuuming and re-clean the windows and mirrors. Fuck Brian for making me do that. I was so exhausted and tired and in a horrible mood, I cried most of the way home. It was a horrible way to remember my last day of classes. I failed my math final, with only a 73 in the class. I should have had a D in it, I should be retaking it in the fall. Somehow, I got a straight 70 in the class. My teacher raised my grade. I ended up with a 3.0 for the semester. Somehow. I talked my SpEd teacher into raising my grade 6% to an A. HAH! I don't know how. Lucky me!
I still have 3 months of vacation and it doesnt seem like enough. I dread that place and going back to it.
I should get to bed. I have to be up way too early.
Fuck the real world.
