My Opera
Life
Tuesday, June 2, 2009 4:24:53 AM
I have trouble sleeping. And as much as I complain about things, and as pathetic as I feel and make myself sound-- I should be in a psyche ward. Yikes. But anyway...
I can't sleep. Sometimes I can, and I should be able to tonight being that I feel so exhausted. But I'll lay here thinking about a million different things from my little brother to school to my future and things I regret from my past. Then I realize I'm not sleeping and try to start doing things to fall asleep. In the past I would count numbers like they have you do when they put you under for surgery. I would pray. Pray for all my problems, concerns and worries to go away and pray that Id fall asleep. Sometimes things were so hard to think about I would just pray the Hail Mary or Our Father over and over again. Now I do breathing exercises. Towards the end of school I did them all the time, but now I do them only every once in a while.
I'm exhausted. I'm depressed. Ha. I went and saw a therapist... Or, counselor, as they like to call it. It helped, but she liked to talk. haha. She didn't let me talk nearly as much as I needed to. And I'd leave feeling a lot better about myself, but later that night I'd fall apart again. And then I thought it was anxiety. I don't really know the difference between the two things, I guess they go hand in hand. But I worry way to much about things like the future.
Geez, there are so many things I need to get off my chest, talk about, but I don't have the energy to do it here and now. I don't have anyone to talk about it to, and so it'll just stay within me for now.
Be positive, Michaela.
I can't sleep. Sometimes I can, and I should be able to tonight being that I feel so exhausted. But I'll lay here thinking about a million different things from my little brother to school to my future and things I regret from my past. Then I realize I'm not sleeping and try to start doing things to fall asleep. In the past I would count numbers like they have you do when they put you under for surgery. I would pray. Pray for all my problems, concerns and worries to go away and pray that Id fall asleep. Sometimes things were so hard to think about I would just pray the Hail Mary or Our Father over and over again. Now I do breathing exercises. Towards the end of school I did them all the time, but now I do them only every once in a while.
I'm exhausted. I'm depressed. Ha. I went and saw a therapist... Or, counselor, as they like to call it. It helped, but she liked to talk. haha. She didn't let me talk nearly as much as I needed to. And I'd leave feeling a lot better about myself, but later that night I'd fall apart again. And then I thought it was anxiety. I don't really know the difference between the two things, I guess they go hand in hand. But I worry way to much about things like the future.
Geez, there are so many things I need to get off my chest, talk about, but I don't have the energy to do it here and now. I don't have anyone to talk about it to, and so it'll just stay within me for now.
Be positive, Michaela.
sprynne # Wednesday, March 2, 2011 10:51:20 AM