My OperaGuide to Pranks at Work
Friday, April 25, 2008 12:39:38 AM
Work no doubt is boring but if you do what I do you have to deal with people, and people get old. Plus seeing the same people over and over in the office and talking to the same people about their account is pretty much ridiculous. So there are a number of things you can do to make this time awesome.
1. Take your office mates office supplies a week before their birthday, that way if you don't like them you don't have to get them a gift, and what's even better when they buy a new one (i.e stapler, tape dispenser, portable hard drive) you can give it back all wrapped up in birthday wrapping paper cheer. Which acutally leads to the next thing.
2. When this happens it either creates tension, or creates a need to get the originally office mate back, so the other person will start a war with you, like a friendly prank war, but if you follow the guidelines correctly you will always win. Always lock your desk, because the first thing they will go for is taking something from you. I've noticed that the majority try to get you back while you are at lunch or on break, before you leave the office for the day, but there are those who try to get you when you leave, we call them "stragglers", but we'll get to that much later. (like on a different day)
Now the majority that try to get you on your breaks, we'll refer to them as Padraic, now the Padraics are not too bright, once they see you get on the elevator they will run to your office/desk and try to steal something from you, but they can't because your office/desk is locked, so they try to think of something else, and while they are wasting their time, you actually get off the elevator a floor below the current floor and take the stairs back up and sneak to Padraic's office/desk. Now's the time you take out your duck tape or post it note and place it on the underside of their mouse just perfectly so the infrared sensor doesn't work, and don't forget to unplug the keyboard. Now about this time Padraic will try and get back to his desk before you come back up, which gives you just enough time to sneak back to the elevator, ride it downstairs and back up (you have to be committed in these prank wars, presentation is everything). Now the Padraic should be at his desk when you come back upstairs trying to log back on to his computer, only to find his mouse isn't working, so he should be moving it back and forth frantically. You "offer some advice to his problem" by saying "maybe it's unplugged". About this time he should glare at you check the back of his computer and see his keyboard is unplugged, now he will plug it back in and expect the mouse to work... silly Padraic, this will make him angrier, and that's when you say, maybe it's broken. So he unplugs the keyboard he just plugged back in and pulls on the mouse, just hard enough for it to fly back to the computer, about this time anyone in the general area will look over and you can say "what's that on your mouse" and walk away.
Stan - 1
Padraic - 0
It begins anew...
By this time the desperate Padraic will go out of his way to come up with schemes to get you back, this is when the Padraic's become Stragglers. Waiting around til you leave to get you back... silly Padraic's... stragglers don't do anything important, they come up with some intricate plot that just seems to dissapoint them more, because you come into work before they do, silly stragglers, you can see what they were trying to do and set it up better on their side. What my office chair is unscrewed, good thing I expected that. So you switch it with their chair, but wait they're expecting that, so you put another chair just close enough so that they will be lazy and switch it to that chair, but of course that chair is wrigged with a couple paperclips sitting in the back just far enough to give a little wake up poke, but he won't see them.
This is just one awesome work prank scenario, many more can come up with just a little planning, and please you know you have an office Padraic, so if you do anything to these people, let me now with a little comment.
1. Take your office mates office supplies a week before their birthday, that way if you don't like them you don't have to get them a gift, and what's even better when they buy a new one (i.e stapler, tape dispenser, portable hard drive) you can give it back all wrapped up in birthday wrapping paper cheer. Which acutally leads to the next thing.
2. When this happens it either creates tension, or creates a need to get the originally office mate back, so the other person will start a war with you, like a friendly prank war, but if you follow the guidelines correctly you will always win. Always lock your desk, because the first thing they will go for is taking something from you. I've noticed that the majority try to get you back while you are at lunch or on break, before you leave the office for the day, but there are those who try to get you when you leave, we call them "stragglers", but we'll get to that much later. (like on a different day)
Now the majority that try to get you on your breaks, we'll refer to them as Padraic, now the Padraics are not too bright, once they see you get on the elevator they will run to your office/desk and try to steal something from you, but they can't because your office/desk is locked, so they try to think of something else, and while they are wasting their time, you actually get off the elevator a floor below the current floor and take the stairs back up and sneak to Padraic's office/desk. Now's the time you take out your duck tape or post it note and place it on the underside of their mouse just perfectly so the infrared sensor doesn't work, and don't forget to unplug the keyboard. Now about this time Padraic will try and get back to his desk before you come back up, which gives you just enough time to sneak back to the elevator, ride it downstairs and back up (you have to be committed in these prank wars, presentation is everything). Now the Padraic should be at his desk when you come back upstairs trying to log back on to his computer, only to find his mouse isn't working, so he should be moving it back and forth frantically. You "offer some advice to his problem" by saying "maybe it's unplugged". About this time he should glare at you check the back of his computer and see his keyboard is unplugged, now he will plug it back in and expect the mouse to work... silly Padraic, this will make him angrier, and that's when you say, maybe it's broken. So he unplugs the keyboard he just plugged back in and pulls on the mouse, just hard enough for it to fly back to the computer, about this time anyone in the general area will look over and you can say "what's that on your mouse" and walk away.
Stan - 1
Padraic - 0
It begins anew...
By this time the desperate Padraic will go out of his way to come up with schemes to get you back, this is when the Padraic's become Stragglers. Waiting around til you leave to get you back... silly Padraic's... stragglers don't do anything important, they come up with some intricate plot that just seems to dissapoint them more, because you come into work before they do, silly stragglers, you can see what they were trying to do and set it up better on their side. What my office chair is unscrewed, good thing I expected that. So you switch it with their chair, but wait they're expecting that, so you put another chair just close enough so that they will be lazy and switch it to that chair, but of course that chair is wrigged with a couple paperclips sitting in the back just far enough to give a little wake up poke, but he won't see them.
This is just one awesome work prank scenario, many more can come up with just a little planning, and please you know you have an office Padraic, so if you do anything to these people, let me now with a little comment.
