Software Development

Correcting The Future

What I Learned About Programming or Computers From Watching Movies

1. If you're a computer programmer, you will be needed as a saviour in a virtual realm, but not for your computer skills.

2. You can hack into military weapons system through a modem.

3. If you create virtual intelligence, it will turn on you. And programming any rules of conduct to guard against this will fail.

4. If virtual intelligence is created by some random accident, especially if it's in a likable robot, it will be benevolent and people will want to destroy it.

5. The more powerful the system you hack into, the better the graphics you get and is not limited in any way on the local hardware at all.

6. Using your brain as a storage device is a bad idea.

7. You don't need a keyboard, reference manuals, debugging, testing or anything like that and your program will always work the first time once it is put into actual use.

8. Breaking access codes and encryption keys are always done one digit at a time.

9. The best programmers have at least 10 monitors with rotating cubes that all come together when you've changed some settings (this is the REAL programming) until finally it gets solved like a Rubik's cube.

10. Computer viruses can be used on alien systems through a wifi link.

Feel free to share your own.

TransitionOptimizations

Comments

Vladasvladas Sunday, June 12, 2011 8:09:12 AM

11. Any password on remote site is breaking in about one minute.

Unregistered user Sunday, June 12, 2011 8:15:24 AM

Anonymous writes: 12. Even just knowing how to use a computer means you can 'enhance' a pixelized zoom of a water drop to see the reflection in it.

Unregistered user Sunday, June 12, 2011 8:15:50 AM

Anonymous writes: 12. Even just knowing how to use a computer means you can 'enhance' a pixelized zoom of a water drop to see the reflection in it.

Vladasvladas Sunday, June 12, 2011 8:28:51 AM

13. Any copying of data usually gets slower as it reaches 100%. smile

Vorlath Tuesday, June 14, 2011 10:55:03 PM

hehe Seeing reflections was a nice one. And yes, it does get slower as you're copying. But!!! You gain superhuman abilities that let you escape just as your nemesis enters the room.

Unregistered user Thursday, June 16, 2011 2:38:27 PM

Mr. Fart writes: 14. You can create a 100% accurate 3D model of any area or building just by typing one or two commands into the terminal.

Unregistered user Thursday, June 30, 2011 2:34:55 AM

Mike W writes: We (programmers) are all too aware that Hollywood does a completely abysmal job of accurately depicting how computers work, but the one scene that I think tops all others in terms of absolute stupidity and in terms of blasting way past any sane limits of the whole "suspension of disbelief" thing, is the scene from Independence Day where Jeff Goldblum writes a virus to bring down an alien mothership's defenses. No manuals, no nothing, and it only takes him like 2 minutes. Presumably alien computers might have a completely different architecture, all the way down to the very lowest levels of the hardware. Do they even use transistors, or anything remotely close to a transistor? Do their computers represent numbers in binary, or some other base, or in some completely unexpected way? Wouldn't it be just as likely (if not exceedingly likely) that their computer technology might be eons more advanced and therefore completely unrecognizable to us, possibly depending on laws of physics we haven't even discovered yet? Not to mention that a "virus" depends entirely on the ability to exploit flaws in the host system. So how can you write a virus if you have ZERO clue what the host system is like. So what that in the movie, the government had been studying the crashed spaceship for the past 50 years. You telling me Jeff Goldblum's character was smart enough to absorb 50 years of research in 2 seconds, and then turn around and write a successful virus in 2 minutes? I normally have no problem with just turning on my "suspension of disbelief" filter, and just sitting back and enjoying the movie, but Independence Day not only exceeded my ability to suspend disbelief, it blew it to bits, and pissed on the ashes. Even Sandra Bullock's movie The Net did a better job of depicting how computers work than Independence Day did, and that's *really* saying something.

Write a comment

New comments have been disabled for this post.

June 2012
S M T W T F S
May 2012July 2012
1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30