And Then Michael Jackson Died...
Thursday, 25. June 2009, 23:45:29
Till the next time friends
Waka
June 2009
( Monthly archive )
Sleep Walking In North Korea
Thursday, 18. June 2009, 17:47:50
So I.m sleep walking the other night. Plodding along the road in my vest and my jocks.
I wake up, realise where I am, and almost die from the fucking shock!!
Of all the places to go sleep walking, I'm in North bloody Korea!!
A secret policeman taps me on the shoulder and says 'The Great Leader Kim Jong-il wants to see you'!!
The Great Leader asks what I'm doing in his great country without permission.
I try to explain that Im sleep walking. Its not like I'm on some fact finding mission!
As we talk, I notice that he keeps looking at my vest!
I can see him thinking 'No wonder my citizen worker peasant slave people wanna fuck off out of here...if this is the quality of vest available in the West'
Nobody has spoken to the Great Leader like this before. He looks like he is about to start crying.
I tell him to get his shit together. That millions of his people are dying!
At this point things could go either way!
He is either going to recruit me. Or he is going to shoot me!.
Out of the blue, he tells me he wants me to see his new toy.
Its his latest version of a nuclear bomb!
He says 'I dream of the day when I find an excuse to deploy this bad boy'
I suggest that he wants to be careful with that shit.
Bush might be gone, but the US wont put up with too much of it.
Strutting around in his little bubble, making noises like he wants to start a fight?.
If anyone there was brave enough to speak up, they would tell the Great Leader that the last thing they want is to start a fight with the 'West'!
And all the while the Great Leaders mind is working overtime, trying to figure out where it was that I bought my vest!
Suddenly, the Great Leader turns to me and tells me that its time for me to leave.
I'm smart enough to know when a party is over, and breathe a huge sigh of relief!
Before I go, the Great Leader asks me not to mention anything that I have seen!
'Fuck that' says me......'as soon as I wake up from this sleep walking thing, Im gonna tell everybody on Opera all about where I have been'
'Im gonna tell them about how short and fat you are, and how you look so much bigger on TV'
'Im also gonna tell them that despite the hard faced shit you present to the rest of the world, you were actually quite happy to meet me'
The Great Leader turns to me and says 'This is all getting a bit weird!'
He says 'In my case its the brandy talking.....with you, you Western shit, we can put it down to the fact
that you're sleep walking'
'Now piss off' he says........'Its time the Great Leader got some rest'
'But before you go, leave a note with my bodyguard, with the name of the shop where you bought that vest'!!
Till the next time friends
Waka
'
I wake up, realise where I am, and almost die from the fucking shock!!
Of all the places to go sleep walking, I'm in North bloody Korea!!
A secret policeman taps me on the shoulder and says 'The Great Leader Kim Jong-il wants to see you'!!
The Great Leader asks what I'm doing in his great country without permission.
I try to explain that Im sleep walking. Its not like I'm on some fact finding mission!
As we talk, I notice that he keeps looking at my vest!
I can see him thinking 'No wonder my citizen worker peasant slave people wanna fuck off out of here...if this is the quality of vest available in the West'
Nobody has spoken to the Great Leader like this before. He looks like he is about to start crying.
I tell him to get his shit together. That millions of his people are dying!
At this point things could go either way!
He is either going to recruit me. Or he is going to shoot me!.
Out of the blue, he tells me he wants me to see his new toy.
Its his latest version of a nuclear bomb!
He says 'I dream of the day when I find an excuse to deploy this bad boy'
I suggest that he wants to be careful with that shit.
Bush might be gone, but the US wont put up with too much of it.
Strutting around in his little bubble, making noises like he wants to start a fight?.
If anyone there was brave enough to speak up, they would tell the Great Leader that the last thing they want is to start a fight with the 'West'!
And all the while the Great Leaders mind is working overtime, trying to figure out where it was that I bought my vest!
Suddenly, the Great Leader turns to me and tells me that its time for me to leave.
I'm smart enough to know when a party is over, and breathe a huge sigh of relief!
Before I go, the Great Leader asks me not to mention anything that I have seen!
'Fuck that' says me......'as soon as I wake up from this sleep walking thing, Im gonna tell everybody on Opera all about where I have been'
'Im gonna tell them about how short and fat you are, and how you look so much bigger on TV'
'Im also gonna tell them that despite the hard faced shit you present to the rest of the world, you were actually quite happy to meet me'
The Great Leader turns to me and says 'This is all getting a bit weird!'
He says 'In my case its the brandy talking.....with you, you Western shit, we can put it down to the fact
that you're sleep walking'
'Now piss off' he says........'Its time the Great Leader got some rest'
'But before you go, leave a note with my bodyguard, with the name of the shop where you bought that vest'!!
Till the next time friends
Waka
'
Rhymes for People Who Won’t Hear!
Wednesday, 17. June 2009, 23:56:18
To Never Tell Anybody What To Believe
Tuesday, 16. June 2009, 00:57:58
So I'm walking down the street earlier tonight.
One of these Christian ladies with a clipboard approaches and asks if I'm doing alright.
I smile and tell her that I'm doing just fine.
As we chat she notices that I'm smoking.
She suggests that smoking could kill me!
Shit!!...I pray she's only joking!
Confidently holding her clipboard, she asks me if I 'believe'?
I tell her that 'I believe I was a Roman Catholic, back when I was too young to understand that Moses was actually on acid when he saw the parting of the Red Sea'
Both hands on clipboard, she smiles at me.
She begins to wonder bout the wisdom of spending weekends pretending she gives a shit about what folks on the street believe in!
So my friend tells her 'Never tell anybody what to believe'!!
And she liked that, and took up our invite to join us for a beer
Till the next time friends
Waka
One of these Christian ladies with a clipboard approaches and asks if I'm doing alright.
I smile and tell her that I'm doing just fine.
As we chat she notices that I'm smoking.
She suggests that smoking could kill me!
Shit!!...I pray she's only joking!
Confidently holding her clipboard, she asks me if I 'believe'?
I tell her that 'I believe I was a Roman Catholic, back when I was too young to understand that Moses was actually on acid when he saw the parting of the Red Sea'
Both hands on clipboard, she smiles at me.
She begins to wonder bout the wisdom of spending weekends pretending she gives a shit about what folks on the street believe in!
So my friend tells her 'Never tell anybody what to believe'!!
And she liked that, and took up our invite to join us for a beer
Till the next time friends
Waka
(36%)
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