Sleep Walking In North Korea
Thursday, 18. June 2009, 17:47:50
So I.m sleep walking the other night. Plodding along the road in my vest and my jocks.
I wake up, realise where I am, and almost die from the fucking shock!!
Of all the places to go sleep walking, I'm in North bloody Korea!!
A secret policeman taps me on the shoulder and says 'The Great Leader Kim Jong-il wants to see you'!!
The Great Leader asks what I'm doing in his great country without permission.
I try to explain that Im sleep walking. Its not like I'm on some fact finding mission!
As we talk, I notice that he keeps looking at my vest!
I can see him thinking 'No wonder my citizen worker peasant slave people wanna fuck off out of here...if this is the quality of vest available in the West'
Nobody has spoken to the Great Leader like this before. He looks like he is about to start crying.
I tell him to get his shit together. That millions of his people are dying!
At this point things could go either way!
He is either going to recruit me. Or he is going to shoot me!.
Out of the blue, he tells me he wants me to see his new toy.
Its his latest version of a nuclear bomb!
He says 'I dream of the day when I find an excuse to deploy this bad boy'
I suggest that he wants to be careful with that shit.
Bush might be gone, but the US wont put up with too much of it.
Strutting around in his little bubble, making noises like he wants to start a fight?.
If anyone there was brave enough to speak up, they would tell the Great Leader that the last thing they want is to start a fight with the 'West'!
And all the while the Great Leaders mind is working overtime, trying to figure out where it was that I bought my vest!
Suddenly, the Great Leader turns to me and tells me that its time for me to leave.
I'm smart enough to know when a party is over, and breathe a huge sigh of relief!
Before I go, the Great Leader asks me not to mention anything that I have seen!
'Fuck that' says me......'as soon as I wake up from this sleep walking thing, Im gonna tell everybody on Opera all about where I have been'
'Im gonna tell them about how short and fat you are, and how you look so much bigger on TV'
'Im also gonna tell them that despite the hard faced shit you present to the rest of the world, you were actually quite happy to meet me'
The Great Leader turns to me and says 'This is all getting a bit weird!'
He says 'In my case its the brandy talking.....with you, you Western shit, we can put it down to the fact
that you're sleep walking'
'Now piss off' he says........'Its time the Great Leader got some rest'
'But before you go, leave a note with my bodyguard, with the name of the shop where you bought that vest'!!
Till the next time friends
Waka
'
I wake up, realise where I am, and almost die from the fucking shock!!
Of all the places to go sleep walking, I'm in North bloody Korea!!
A secret policeman taps me on the shoulder and says 'The Great Leader Kim Jong-il wants to see you'!!
The Great Leader asks what I'm doing in his great country without permission.
I try to explain that Im sleep walking. Its not like I'm on some fact finding mission!
As we talk, I notice that he keeps looking at my vest!
I can see him thinking 'No wonder my citizen worker peasant slave people wanna fuck off out of here...if this is the quality of vest available in the West'
Nobody has spoken to the Great Leader like this before. He looks like he is about to start crying.
I tell him to get his shit together. That millions of his people are dying!
At this point things could go either way!
He is either going to recruit me. Or he is going to shoot me!.
Out of the blue, he tells me he wants me to see his new toy.
Its his latest version of a nuclear bomb!
He says 'I dream of the day when I find an excuse to deploy this bad boy'
I suggest that he wants to be careful with that shit.
Bush might be gone, but the US wont put up with too much of it.
Strutting around in his little bubble, making noises like he wants to start a fight?.
If anyone there was brave enough to speak up, they would tell the Great Leader that the last thing they want is to start a fight with the 'West'!
And all the while the Great Leaders mind is working overtime, trying to figure out where it was that I bought my vest!
Suddenly, the Great Leader turns to me and tells me that its time for me to leave.
I'm smart enough to know when a party is over, and breathe a huge sigh of relief!
Before I go, the Great Leader asks me not to mention anything that I have seen!
'Fuck that' says me......'as soon as I wake up from this sleep walking thing, Im gonna tell everybody on Opera all about where I have been'
'Im gonna tell them about how short and fat you are, and how you look so much bigger on TV'
'Im also gonna tell them that despite the hard faced shit you present to the rest of the world, you were actually quite happy to meet me'
The Great Leader turns to me and says 'This is all getting a bit weird!'
He says 'In my case its the brandy talking.....with you, you Western shit, we can put it down to the fact
that you're sleep walking'
'Now piss off' he says........'Its time the Great Leader got some rest'
'But before you go, leave a note with my bodyguard, with the name of the shop where you bought that vest'!!
Till the next time friends
Waka
'
(36%)
WIDGETIZE
Ravo # 18. June 2009, 19:56
Wakajawaka # 18. June 2009, 20:21
Ravo # 18. June 2009, 22:04
hungryghost # 19. June 2009, 20:57
Wakajawaka # 20. June 2009, 14:23
Ive kind of learned to live with it though
hungryghost # 20. June 2009, 20:21
Wakajawaka # 20. June 2009, 20:55
No visa required. And no fear of ending up doing a few years hard labour just for my thoughts.
As long as I snap back into reality in time for the alarm to go off in the morning......then its all good
I tried to explain this to the Great Leader when I had my sit down with him. His response was to explain that there are no such things as 'dreams' in North Korea. There are only 'visions'. All of which have been had by, you guessed it, the Great man himself.
I guess him and I will never agree on certain things!