Wakas Thoughts on Life and Love and All Things in Between

Yup! As the title says. We just got back from a lovely camping holiday in lovely France.

For your reading pleasure........ a few things that I observed/experienced during our lovely 2 week visit to lovely France!

1. The French on holiday sure do crack the wine, brandy etc open VERY early in the day . Seeing the bottles getting popped around 10:30, 11am was a common sight. Now that is EARLY.........even by my standards

2. The vibe in the south of France is VERY relaxed. They dont seem to bother about trivial things like parking in parking spaces, together with other things I could mention. Dogs welcome EVERYWHERE, etc etc. Much more easy going than (ahem) liberal Holland, it would seem.

3. LOTS of French women smoke!! Especially the '50 and older' brigade. We live and we learn I guess. Mrs J took me out for a lovely birthday lunch while we were down there. There was a woman at the table next to me who was smoking when her meal arrived. She proceeded to finish her cigarette between mouthfulls of food. Now THAT is hardcore smoking!!.

4. It seems that there are not many REALLY FAT people in France. In 2 weeks of people watching, video making etc, in 2 different locations, I saw only ONE woman who could be described as REALLY FAT. Compare this to our trip to Florida a few years back where we would spend time by the swimming pool playing 'Spot The Thin Person'!! And its not like they dont eat. They eat SHITLOADS of food!!

5. I had my first experience of a 'Stand Up Toilet' After the lovely birthday lunch that I mentioned earlier, I needed to visit the toilet. All was well with this lovely French toilet in the lovely French restaurant, apart from the fact that they forgot to put a fucking TOILET in the toilet. What can only be described as a HOLE IN THE FLOOR stood before me!! I was impressed that this lovely HOLE IN THE FLOOR, in a nice ceramic square shaped thingy, had two things towards the front, indicating to us foreigners that this was where we should put our feet while attempting to hit the target. I also observed that there was no form of balancing aid (hand rail etc) to stop you falling backwards into your own shit!! Thankfully, I only needed a pee!!

6. As a radio lover, our little camping radio was my constant source of musical entertainment. I learned that under French law, at least 25% of all songs broadcast on French radio stations must be in the French language. If I NEVER hear another song sung in French again it will be too soon!! This is no reflection on the language, which I happen to think is very lovely....Its just that most of their songs are SHITE!!

7. French people on campsites are VERY friendly. I love to try and speak to the locals wherever I go, and was frustrated many times at not being able to have a proper chat with the many people who came to say hello. (I dont speak a word of French, and most of the locals I met spoke only very basic English)

8. French families, cracking the wine etc very early in the day, are more than happy to share that wine with the younger members of the family. People who would be classed as WAY under the legal drinking age. The parents dont make an issue of it, and neither do the underage wine drinking kids. This seems to work very well. In my opinion, a very sensible way to introduce your kids to the joys of alchohol

9. The French LOVE their gambling on horse races. In the lovely restaurant where I enjoyed my birthday lunch, there was a machine there where you could place instant bets on horse races that were being shown on the TV in the corner. In theory, you could win or lose money while on your way to visit the toilet with no toilet that I mentioned earlier!


When we think of numbers 10, 11 etc, you will be the first to know!!



Till the next time friends

Waka

So yesterday, after 5 previous failed attempts, the space shuttle Endeavour was blasted in an upward direction at frightening speeds, taking its 7 passengers to join their gravity free NASA amigos floating around up there, busy carrying out various space station daily chores.




I was on a 'mission' (no pun intended) to capture a decent quality audio clip of the live event (result), to be mixed with a piece of music shortly thereafter.

'Song Of The Thrusters - The Launch Of Endeavour' is an audio tribute to the men and women who, over the years, have been brave (insane) enough to strap themselves onto those MASSIVE machines and be blasted into orbit!

For best results, Song Of The Thrusters should be played with as MUCH VOLUME as your surroundings will allow you !!

Song Of The Thrusters -- The Launch Of Endeavour.mp3

I tip my hat to each and every one of them!!

Till the next time friends

Waka

For any musicians in the house....


This is called Strictly Genteel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L5AJwnp6f0

You will need sound!


Till the next time friends

Waka

So I.m sleep walking the other night. Plodding along the road in my vest and my jocks.
I wake up, realise where I am, and almost die from the fucking shock!!

Of all the places to go sleep walking, I'm in North bloody Korea!!
A secret policeman taps me on the shoulder and says 'The Great Leader Kim Jong-il wants to see you'!!

The Great Leader asks what I'm doing in his great country without permission.
I try to explain that Im sleep walking. Its not like I'm on some fact finding mission!

As we talk, I notice that he keeps looking at my vest!
I can see him thinking 'No wonder my citizen worker peasant slave people wanna fuck off out of here...if this is the quality of vest available in the West'

Nobody has spoken to the Great Leader like this before. He looks like he is about to start crying.
I tell him to get his shit together. That millions of his people are dying!

At this point things could go either way!

He is either going to recruit me. Or he is going to shoot me!.

Out of the blue, he tells me he wants me to see his new toy.
Its his latest version of a nuclear bomb!
He says 'I dream of the day when I find an excuse to deploy this bad boy'

I suggest that he wants to be careful with that shit.
Bush might be gone, but the US wont put up with too much of it.

Strutting around in his little bubble, making noises like he wants to start a fight?.

If anyone there was brave enough to speak up, they would tell the Great Leader that the last thing they want is to start a fight with the 'West'!
And all the while the Great Leaders mind is working overtime, trying to figure out where it was that I bought my vest!

Suddenly, the Great Leader turns to me and tells me that its time for me to leave.
I'm smart enough to know when a party is over, and breathe a huge sigh of relief!

Before I go, the Great Leader asks me not to mention anything that I have seen!

'Fuck that' says me......'as soon as I wake up from this sleep walking thing, Im gonna tell everybody on Opera all about where I have been'

'Im gonna tell them about how short and fat you are, and how you look so much bigger on TV'

'Im also gonna tell them that despite the hard faced shit you present to the rest of the world, you were actually quite happy to meet me'

The Great Leader turns to me and says 'This is all getting a bit weird!'

He says 'In my case its the brandy talking.....with you, you Western shit, we can put it down to the fact
that you're sleep walking'

'Now piss off' he says........'Its time the Great Leader got some rest'

'But before you go, leave a note with my bodyguard, with the name of the shop where you bought that vest'!!


Till the next time friends

Waka
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