Sneezing and the joys of Parenthood
Monday, 6. March 2006, 20:11:08
For the second time in my life, I am very proud and excited to be living with the realisation that in a few short months, Im going be a parent.
If you have children then I need not bang on about what an incredible feeling that is. If you have no children, then take my word for it, it is a feeling like no other.
I am once again walking around with my head in the clouds feeling like I am the only guy in the world who this has ever happened to.
Physically though........I of course, feel exactly the same as I did on New Years day. The day I was told the wonderfull news.
While I stand on the porch smoking a cigarrette, drinking a cold beer and contemplating what an excellent father I am going to be, my beautifull partner struggles with fatigue and an almost constant sore back, while at the same time wondering where she can buy a bra large enough and strong enough to cope with her ever growing breasts, which before long will be the size of watermelons.
Lets face it guys! Regardless of how sympathetic to her cause we are, during the nine month term, we are fucking spectators.
We try and say the right things and do the right things at the right time.
Every once in a while though, for the sake of world peace, if we are smart, we will figure its time to give her some time to herself.
In my experience, at this point the sensible option is to take yourself down to your local bar for the next few hours to contemplate the joys of impending fatherhood over a couple of cold ones.
While my beautifull partner questions my commitment to the cause, just because my back is just fine and my man boobs are under control, she fails to realise the mental preperation taking place behind the scenes.
She KNOWS Im totally commited, but part of the deal does seem to be a little moan here and there because there wont be any stretch marks on my boobs at the end of the day.
I doubt that that is the reason of course. But there IS a reason.
If I look at the big picture then the most wonderful part of the whole 'parenthood' experience for me is that you have given life to a complete individual.
Children only become mini versions of there parents because they are encouraged to be.
THAT IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE!
'Tennis mothers' are the kind of people I have in mind here.
To live your life through your child just because you didnt quite make it in the tennis world or on the beauty circuit?
That kind of behaviour should be a criminal offence.
What could be worse than a mini version of yourself running around when you could have a complete and unique individual?
If you have children, or are planning to do so...........PLEASE encourage them to be THEMSELVES........Before we question there abilities we should take a look at the fucked up world that our children will inherit from us.
SNEEZING: Sneezing is something I do EVERY day.......... EVERY SINGLE DAY!
This suits me very well as I do happen to LOVE sneezing. Apart from an orgasm, it is the most wonderfull 'natural' rush in the body that I have experienced.
Think about that wonderfull feeling you get about ONE SECOND after you sneeze. A huge amount of endorphines are released giving way to a wonderfull 'rush' lasting about 3 seconds.
If you have never experienced this before then take a look out for it the next time you sneeze. I guarantee you will never look back.
My record is nine big sneezes in a row and at the moment im in training to go for the 10.
I will keep you posted on my progress
Take care folks and always respect the kids.
Wakajawaka
If you have children then I need not bang on about what an incredible feeling that is. If you have no children, then take my word for it, it is a feeling like no other.
I am once again walking around with my head in the clouds feeling like I am the only guy in the world who this has ever happened to.
Physically though........I of course, feel exactly the same as I did on New Years day. The day I was told the wonderfull news.
While I stand on the porch smoking a cigarrette, drinking a cold beer and contemplating what an excellent father I am going to be, my beautifull partner struggles with fatigue and an almost constant sore back, while at the same time wondering where she can buy a bra large enough and strong enough to cope with her ever growing breasts, which before long will be the size of watermelons.
Lets face it guys! Regardless of how sympathetic to her cause we are, during the nine month term, we are fucking spectators.
We try and say the right things and do the right things at the right time.
Every once in a while though, for the sake of world peace, if we are smart, we will figure its time to give her some time to herself.
In my experience, at this point the sensible option is to take yourself down to your local bar for the next few hours to contemplate the joys of impending fatherhood over a couple of cold ones.
While my beautifull partner questions my commitment to the cause, just because my back is just fine and my man boobs are under control, she fails to realise the mental preperation taking place behind the scenes.
She KNOWS Im totally commited, but part of the deal does seem to be a little moan here and there because there wont be any stretch marks on my boobs at the end of the day.
I doubt that that is the reason of course. But there IS a reason.
If I look at the big picture then the most wonderful part of the whole 'parenthood' experience for me is that you have given life to a complete individual.
Children only become mini versions of there parents because they are encouraged to be.
THAT IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE!
'Tennis mothers' are the kind of people I have in mind here.
To live your life through your child just because you didnt quite make it in the tennis world or on the beauty circuit?
That kind of behaviour should be a criminal offence.
What could be worse than a mini version of yourself running around when you could have a complete and unique individual?
If you have children, or are planning to do so...........PLEASE encourage them to be THEMSELVES........Before we question there abilities we should take a look at the fucked up world that our children will inherit from us.
SNEEZING: Sneezing is something I do EVERY day.......... EVERY SINGLE DAY!
This suits me very well as I do happen to LOVE sneezing. Apart from an orgasm, it is the most wonderfull 'natural' rush in the body that I have experienced.
Think about that wonderfull feeling you get about ONE SECOND after you sneeze. A huge amount of endorphines are released giving way to a wonderfull 'rush' lasting about 3 seconds.
If you have never experienced this before then take a look out for it the next time you sneeze. I guarantee you will never look back.
My record is nine big sneezes in a row and at the moment im in training to go for the 10.
I will keep you posted on my progress
Take care folks and always respect the kids.
Wakajawaka
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