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Many of people are getting tired to do right thing, tired to be good man…because there, they can’t see the result.

Guys,
Everyday, when I arrived at home, entering my room and look around, breathing and put my bag , I will not get dinner first, instead, I turned on my computer then get dinner. It’s bad habit, ate at night above 08.00 pm will over my weight.

I will sitting on my computer, listening to the music on favorite radio channel. I was writing this post at 10:54 pm on Thursday, November 19th, 2009. I closed my eyes and imagine what I have done all this day?

I mad with one of my co-worker (really sorry), mad with someone here (very ashamed and I am so sorry), I can’t eat to day coz I got cold sore inside, I’ve overwork coz I have to prepare some material for next shooting, I had chat with my Oniisan to ensure he is in okay, visited Imotouchan’s blog but she is busy to concentrate with her studies but she will be back soon. And last got dinner at my favorite restaurant.

I was fail to be right man, I am selfish, I am rude and sometimes annoying maybe. But one thing that I knew, I NEVER give up. So guys, NEVER give up. There is way to reach the harvest is keep planting seeds and FAITH.

Even if just a little result that what I have seed (good things) never be waste. I still trying and trying to believe other people even I don’t know what kind of people is in me.
I don’t want to be lost a hope, hope everything will be okay and joyful.

Why I am writing everyday, coz I loved it, and hope that everyone who read my post will blessed. Who wants to be a stumbling block? None.

I bet every people want to be right, even he/she is very rude.


Ps: some of my writings in my blog I was dedicated for my lovely family (mam, dad, my young brother), Oniisan and Imoutochan (Kyochan and Giachan). Guys, you are so mean to me and grateful coz God sent you to me. When God had putting the love in my heart is into you. Maybe some of people will call me “Crazy or whatever they want to say” but I decided. Thank you Lord Jesus Christ.

So what could i say right now? the stuff is really hard to tell to the public
When I was writing this words, I just breathing a thousand times, it was like (huh, sigh and sigh again).

Why God?
I was closing my eyes now and remembering about my past love with someone, his name is “Abby”. He is my first love and starting when I was in senior high school.
I have no more memories with him unless have lunched in class and discussed about math and English coz I never hang out or do something together (like watching at movie theater or dinner or get around in the garden and don’t thinking the kissing , indeed, we never do that), you may call it with “weird love”.

Abby is not too-good-boy but he is so cute. He is smart and very skilled in skateboards and annoying coz he always call me with “short”. But, side that Abby is my best friend.

He told me what I never know and how to face the world.
Even, I never been out with him but I got his hearth, the deepest heart of Abby. He always said that I was like his little angel who never angry and without protest.
Yes, I never protest what he does out there coz I know my status, you know guys…Abby had a lot of fans and many girl friend there, it’s odd, huh? I think so.

In front of our friend he told that “ guys, she is my ninth love” oh God, can you imagine my face at that time?...hem, I am not in any expression, believe that! I love him but I never told him that I love him…it’s in total confusion
He never serious with any girls, so first time I met him, admittedly, I hate him much. I never respect with him. He is just my classmate and chair’s neighbor. He sat beside me.

Ok, time was going, day after day and I know something, he doesn’t like what I saw in first time.
Maybe, sometimes, he is very ugly and always disturbs me but basically he is good friend.
He tried to teach me how to spelt word in English major and help in math ho ho ho I am bad in math.

Sometimes, I looked the lonely and sad in his eyes. And finally I knew something that Abby was never got the true friend, he told me. Some people just being there because he is rich and cute.

So,
I saw his with the different way after that. Why I must hate him, whereas I don’t know about his life yet?.
I just see and judging him with what I can see in front of my eyes, I never try to find the real on his hearth.
I can’t see his kindness, even he always side me when I was sad with my parent’s divorce (oh, I am really sorry honey).
So guys, past time, some people called me with “cold girl”, I don’t care with them.
Abby told me many things, how to respect what people feel about me and how to care with other.

One day, when we were sharing Abby was crying for me and it has change all…none crying for me before and he does.
In my hearth, the deepest, I am starting to like him and he never know, Abby always said that “don’t ever thinking about other girl who around me, coz I never to leave you my little angel”.

I felt sorry for other girls of Abby, but Abby and me is a good friends and I can’t stop when love came to us.
His girlfriend didn’t know much about Abby, unbelievable but it’s true. It’s sound like-when Abby got problem he always called me-. I don’t understand why I can’t deny him.

Not sometimes, but often I cried and you know? It’s hurt deepest on my hearth to drape my love to him. but one things I was knew is I love him not by condition of anything.
It’s flowing into me naturally.

I can see his smile to me and i still hear his voice in my ears now.
“Be a good girl and be a good everyone’s best friend” the last word from him before he goes to the heaven 5 years ago, on March 22th, 2004.
Last time before, he only said to me “I am really sorry”

One things that I know from his hearth is, he never want to hurt me coz he loves me much and I am regret coz I never tell him that I love him too.

The past has gone and the new day has come, so many good and bad thing that was happened in my life and it’s time to cheer up
Abby is my first and never ending love but it was a past and when I starting to love someone I am trying to focus with him…I am free from physical pain so I have to free from love pain
No more illness again, no medicines and no tears
I am into you, my prince

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, its not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hope all things, endures all things”.

Ehm...okay what i will write here?
..(searching idea)
(ready)
Okay, i found now, something that i will drop here is the new page in my life...i am grow old so i am grow up 2

it's sound like me for time pass, i am the weird girl coz i am very rare to smile with another person.
in years pass almost half of my life, i was spent with pain ******** and thinning of the stomach wall
, i am going with the damn medicine everyday , it's hard to pass and you know
how sad when i know that almost have no hope of well .

but, did you hear i said almost so is there any hope for me even it's a little hope
then I gave it all to God and I believe that I will recover

I do not want to sit still to wait and weep for all,I believe God will give the best for me. I am not regret, if I must die then let that be the will of God in my life.

Time passes...
(it's picture of me when I go through it all)

so many thing that was happening in my life and i was ending this with smile LOL
in the end of 2009 and in my 23 years old i had the great thing and it's make joy...
i am on recovery processing now and i didn't feel pain in my body again hehehehehe
it's miracle of God...

and i am so thank full for my family (mam, dad, & my brother) and my friend's support here...
Domo Arigatou Gozaimasu Oniisan to Imoutochan desu
and thank's for being my family

new page in my life is starting now
so have a few of plan right now

Faith, hope, and love are essentials of the Christian experience. While we will never experience the "loss" that the disciples felt after Jesus died, there are times in our lives when faith and hope become weak, even though we say that we love the Lord. "And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love" (1 Cor. 13:13).

As we observe the time that Christ was in the tomb following the crucifixion, we see these three essentials weakened in the lives of those who followed Jesus. Their faith and hope were badly shaken, but we could not say that they ceased to love their Lord. It is the resurrection of Jesus Christ that cements all these three together.

An example of the weakness of faith is seen in Thomas who doubted (Jn. 20:24-29) until he could see and touch Jesus. His was a faith that demanded physical evidence. Unless he saw that evidence, he said, "I will not believe" (v. 25). Later Jesus chided him, "Be not unbelieving, but believing" (v. 27). Thomas's definition of faith and hope was here lacking the Hebrews 11 definition, "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." He did not believe the Word proclaimed about Christ's resurrection. The other disciples also displayed this same weakness of faith (see Jn. 20:19; Lk. 24:25, 40-41).

The crucifixion also shattered the hope that the disciples had. "But we were hoping that it was He who was going to redeem Israel. Indeed, besides all this, today is the third day since these things happened" (Lk. 24:21). They used the word "redeemed," which is exactly what Jesus did on the cross, but they saw it only in a temporal sense. "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men the most pitiable. But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep" (1 Cor. 15:19). Any time our hope is only in the here and now, it is defective (cf. Heb. 6:18-20).

We can say that Mary Magdalene and the disciples did love the Lord. Mary was present at the trial, the crucifixion, and the resurrection of Christ. She was set free from seven demons (Lk. 8:2) and came weeping to the tomb of Jesus out of a great love for Him (Jn. 20:13). Being forgiven of much, she loved much (Lk. 7:47). She did not have the faith and hope of the resurrection (Jn. 20:15), but she still loved her Lord. But without the resurrection, even her love was incomplete. Her love would be in the past tense-she "loved" him. Her understanding of Jesus' love was also in the past tense for a time. For her, how could a dead Jesus still love her? Once she heard her Lord's voice calling her, and recognized it, she clung to Him with an intense love.

Without the resurrection of Jesus, faith, hope, and love are all in vain. Life is vain. The three days of Christ's entombment were dark and depressing for the disciples. Maybe we too go through events in our lives that lead to darkness and depression. The weakness of the flesh causes us to look on the temporal things instead of the eternal and to live by sight instead of by faith. Where do we go for light and life? It must be outside of ourselves and in the only One who has been tempted, suffered, died, and risen that we may come to the throne of grace to obtain mercy and find grace. Go to the Victor!

It is the victorious, risen Jesus which gives substance and evidence to faith, hope, and love. These must exist together in us and together with Christ. In our weaker times, remember what Jesus said, "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed" (Jn. 20:29). These things were written down for us in the Scriptures, "that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name" (Jn. 20:31). It is His Holy Spirit who was sent to guide and comfort us and assure us of His never-ending presence.

It is faith, hope, and love in the risen Christ that lifts us up to live a resurrected, thankful, and meaningful life. Nothing else can or will do this. "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God" (Col. 3:1-3). Life without an ever-present eye on the risen and reigning Christ is in vain. Life without a Savior is death.

Fear not! He is risen from the dead, reigning on high, and returning for us.

Written by Paul H. Treick
http://reformedherald.org/

Life is almost never escape from the problem, that’s right! The life exam is always there, in our life. This will not give us “A” or “B” value. This is not ordinary kind of exam, but the exam for strengthen our faith with God.
Don’t be worry because anything that happening in your life had the way out. There’s always a way in God.
Past, when I was in collage, about 4 years ago, i said to my self that “I want to get work in television companies”. It’s really big dream. You know friends, all fame television companies was in capital city and could you imagine it was being hard to me because I was live in a small hometown -Malang, the flower’s city- far from capital. I tried to be a good student, tried to achieved best value.
When I was graduated, I got my first job in education newspaper as journalist, I didn’t work in television yet, it was going for 3 years. Perhaps this work is not same with my dream but I never stop to hope and believe that one day God gave me it.
I tried to learn many things -patience-. I had to wait and surrender to God. Even in the process it was going hard and i had to spent long time but finally I am in my aim now (it’s still going about 5 month) .
The point is “NEVER GIVE UP”, I didn’t give up to get job in television company (art is my way) and I got it, I never give up to be a fame novelist and I never give to more of my dream, so you are?
Never stop when “the exam” come to your life. God will not stay on His seat, HE surely help us with HIS way. That un-thought by us. With HIS glorious way HE will bring us to the Joy.


“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 corinthians 12 : 9a.