Simple Story

This is odd.

But I just spent at least 30 minutes on Facebook. I don't check fb very often and admit, I'm really not fond of it. I like it "in theory" but in reality the idea of connecting to every mistake of my past is haunting. All these people who know some part of me but I've never been comfortable around. It's just damn intimidating. I have something like 200 requests pending. Some are people I wouldn't ever call friends but really "People I know" -- but rejecting them seems harsh... social pressures and all being what they are.

So, they'll continue to sit. Some people I really like and feel pretty comfortable with, I finally created a grouping for them (Aces) so I might keep track of them. Really they should be people I like because they make me like me.

That group is all of 6 people... people who, no matter what I say or do, I feel confident they won't have a problem with it. If I posted "just did a line of cocaine off toilet seat at bar" they might be like "wtf?!" but they wouldn't be like, "yum, you're a bad person"

They're the people who can actually look at those ridiculously embarrassing pictures that people choose for some unknown, horrid reason, to upload and share.

It just makes me cringe. I feel naked, exposed, and violated. To top it off, the fb controls are so confusing. When I first signed up, it was easy. The controls were relatively straight forward and the management of all those data wasn't so overwhelming.

It's a catch-22. My munchkin, Lo, Anna.yes, H, Suzy Q, and otherwise all have FB's. Some of my "friends" here in LA also choose to communicate almost exclusively on fb. If you want to goto that party you better have a facebook.........

but why does, every time I login to it, my skin crawl?

Could it be the uber-religious aunt who has access to my FB? What about the updates from all those high school peeps that i didn't really like to begin with? What about the people I failed to keep up with, for whatever reason, and just feel guilty even looking at them. I should just get over it all, man up and deal with it... but, I'll just say this.

After clicking "Log Out" on fb and then clicking my speed-dial to come over here I felt instantly at ease, just calm and relaxed. Perhaps it's the anonymity offered here that makes me so comfortable, the ability to type whatever the fuck I want and not worry about getting 40 comments from people I used to know.

I'm trying to adjust my strategy, only pay attention to my Aces and the rest can remain in the background noise.

Yum