Cancel Friend Request
Sunday, January 16, 2011 5:42:14 AM
The next day? No notification, just silence. A couple months later, I dared to check upon her page. Call me a fb-stalker, probably well-earned, but upon the top of her page sat the greyed mark of a "Pending Friend Request"
So... I was destined to facebook friendship rot. Fucking fantastic. Oh, I'm guilty of it! I am! Hypocrite. People I rather despise, people I wouldn't call friends even in the loosest sense of the word, I'm glad to let them rot. They were rude to me, mean, cruel, never granted the slightest kindness. Or the boss who once offered me a job promotion with a pay-cut... he apologized the next day when they realized their error but it really showed how much he valued me. (he got fired before me) Nice guy, in general, but do I want him to be my fb friend?
Or those people with vaguely similar last names... uh, wtf? I don't think I ever met you.
Those old high school friends who were nothing but mean to me... okay, maybe I'll think about calling you a 'friend' in a strictly facebook sorta way but you were never a friend. You never offered me a ride when I was the last one standing after a concert, a game, a show... you never invited me to a party... you never said hi to me in the hall... you never asked a single fucking thing of me. and now you want to be my facebook fucking friend?
I'm sorry... you can rot... and eventually I'll decide to hit the "Not now" button, facebook's politically correct way of changing the "Ignore" button, which used to be the "I don't know them" button or whatever. In truth, they need a "WTF? They wanna be my friend?" button -- that's the appropriate response for some of them.
Past coworkers who I'd get a drink with but I don't particularly want them checking out my latest drunken pictures or stupid political (probably idiotic) ideas!
My best friend from high school. We may never talk now but she is someone I'd take in if she showed up on my doorstep.
The girl I ended up doing in the fire-escape, yeah, okay... she was fun, didn't go crazy..
The ex-girlfriend, yes, I even friended her -- though, I still hate her.
Even damned sexy Danny friended me... though she seemed to visualize a large truck that happened to have a row of chainsaws on the front of it hitting me the last time I saw her.
So ... well, Pippy didn't reject me outright. But why the fuck not? She last told me she never wanted to speak to me, never wanted to see me again. That was it. The girl of my dreams popped that bubble with that pointed pin of a text message.
I didn't send her a message, I didn't FB poke her.
Of course, if she accepted it, she'd take hell. Her sister hates me probably more than some weird hannah-montana-jonas-brother-plus+barney-the-purple-dinosaur hybrid (that is scary... i mean, barney in those tight white pants with a freakin blonde wig? whoa) -- her parents probably think on me as the bastard who tried to steal their little girl.
And there's no doubt a girl of her smile, wit and beauty has some boyfriend -- oh no, I knew it was a rather fucking longshot... but why not have the decency to deny me?
I expected that... but no. She was content to see my face in her list of pending friend requests with a "Accept" and "Not Now" and leave me like some dangling fish.
And I was hooked, committed to my brazen attempt to tempt.
So finally I googled it... "How do you cancel a friend request?" That was a few months ago and then I let Fb hibernate. I despised that beast that made me feel even more unwanted than I was already sure I was.
Until yesterday. Gator wanted to show me her school talent show on Fb. With some dread I typed in my login. 28 messages, 20 friend requests. Who could possibly like me that much?
But ... when I typed in Pippy's name I was greeted with a taller, more attractive curly haired boy she had wrapped her arms around. He reminded me of myself a bit... funny. How delightful, she found a better guy -- I looked and told Gator and she didn't mask the disgust in her voice that I'd look her up. "Ugh, I hate facebook stalking."
"It's not facebook stalking, I wanted to see if she friended me yet."
"Yeah, right, whatever...."
Yeah. Right. Whatever.
So, after I got off the phone with her I typed in her a name again. She's still pretty, she looks older, a bit more tired but still that amazing spark in her eyes that separates her from the glassed over look of so many I pass by. I scrolled down "Cancel Friend Request" and with a tap.
"Friend Request Canceled."
I feel like I should proclaim myself free of the hook now... but you'd know deep down that was a lie.
There are people you like, people you can talk to, people can laugh with, people you can joke with, people you can be honest with, people who are silly, fun, people who are incredibly intelligent and caring and then, sometimes, people you wouldn't mind spending a little more of the rest of your life with.
That's not a hook you can just pull out like some poor fish that meandered upon a delicious looking worm. No, more like happening upon that Mermaid who saved you once upon a storm in the ocean. Her curious gaze, her precious life giving lips an unexpected dream -- that turned out real. That girl who didn't need to reflect sunlight, she had her own inner light to guide this poor lost sailor and his soul.
Eh. It's stupid. I fell into her ocean and drowned. I can't help but smile... I totally deserved that because the truth is, I didn't fall. I jumped head over heels into that ocean. Can you really pity that fool?
I can only laugh... what a foolish foolish Prince.
truth be told, i never wanted to be her friend. so i can't blame her in the least. i always wanted more.