Do you want to be my friend?
Monday, 9. March 2009, 05:25:17
I have received PM's from people, who have added me as friends, asking why I haven't added them back. Also from people who I added a while ago, and that I have deleted from the friends list.
It seems I need to clear some things out.
I am not interested in having 2,000+ friends. The persons on my friends list are friends, not just people who happened to come across my blog at some point.
What do I expect from my friends, and what can they expect from me?
I expect my friends to be loyal. That means that they do not talk about me behind my back, and they do not spread rumours about me.
I expect them to be discrete about my friends only posts. They are friends only for a reason.
I expect them to visit my blog on a regular basis, friendships need to be maintained. I will of course visit their blogs also. I do not expect them to comment on every single post I make, like I will probably not comment on everything they write. I will read it all, though.
To me, a friendship grows out of something, like respect does. I respect all the persons on my friends list, and none of the persons on my list are added out of the blue. I value each and every one of them highly.
Will you be on my friends list forever if I add you?
Not automatically. As I wrote before, friendships need to be maintained. If you stop coming here and/or if we stop communicating for some reason, I will delete you from my list after a while. It doesn't mean that I am angry with you or disappointed in you, it just means that we aren't on each others friends lists right now. It doesn't mean you can't be added back if we start acting like friends again though.
Can you come here and comment on the posts without being on my friends list?
Of course. Just like I visit many blogs every day without even considering adding the blog owners as friends. Hang out and have fun - and see if a friendship grows from that.
If it upsets you that I haven't added you back, or if you try to push me into being your friend, then you probably aren't a good friend in the first place. Good friends are patient and respectful.
I hope this was clear enough!
Happy blogging!
It seems I need to clear some things out.
I am not interested in having 2,000+ friends. The persons on my friends list are friends, not just people who happened to come across my blog at some point.
What do I expect from my friends, and what can they expect from me?I expect my friends to be loyal. That means that they do not talk about me behind my back, and they do not spread rumours about me.
I expect them to be discrete about my friends only posts. They are friends only for a reason.
I expect them to visit my blog on a regular basis, friendships need to be maintained. I will of course visit their blogs also. I do not expect them to comment on every single post I make, like I will probably not comment on everything they write. I will read it all, though.
To me, a friendship grows out of something, like respect does. I respect all the persons on my friends list, and none of the persons on my list are added out of the blue. I value each and every one of them highly.
Will you be on my friends list forever if I add you?
Not automatically. As I wrote before, friendships need to be maintained. If you stop coming here and/or if we stop communicating for some reason, I will delete you from my list after a while. It doesn't mean that I am angry with you or disappointed in you, it just means that we aren't on each others friends lists right now. It doesn't mean you can't be added back if we start acting like friends again though.
Can you come here and comment on the posts without being on my friends list?
Of course. Just like I visit many blogs every day without even considering adding the blog owners as friends. Hang out and have fun - and see if a friendship grows from that.
If it upsets you that I haven't added you back, or if you try to push me into being your friend, then you probably aren't a good friend in the first place. Good friends are patient and respectful.
I hope this was clear enough!
Happy blogging!
(22%)
WIDGETIZE
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Dacotah # 9. March 2009, 05:35
Zaphira # 9. March 2009, 05:36
Dacotah # 9. March 2009, 05:38
glenno # 9. March 2009, 05:44
Zaphira # 9. March 2009, 05:46
I just checked my "friendly people"-list. I have 170 persons who added me, and that I didn't add back. In five months!
thaodp # 9. March 2009, 05:46
I feel more comfortable when I can accept/deny someone before I'm in their friend list from now on.
Zaphira # 9. March 2009, 05:49
Either way, I will not add those people back.
As for the new feature - it doesn't matter to me. I have always told people to feel free to add me if they please - after all, they will not be able to see friends only posts before I add them back, which is the most important to me.
Marike79 # 9. March 2009, 05:51
DarkKnight70 # 9. March 2009, 05:52
INMHO opinon part of the problem is MyOperas friendship system itself.
Like in real life, there should be some intermediate stages between friend and stranger. The need to add somebody on my friends list, merely to have easy access to him/her blog or whatsoever, because the management of the subscriptions/links is "primitive" (friendly term for that piece of crap), that just ...
I'm no softwaredevoloper/-designer, but INMHO MyOpera fails in covering the basics.
"Friendship" has a meaning to me, I'm not easy on that one.
Bloody Moanday.
*morose Wolfie is off to tedious work*
glenno # 9. March 2009, 05:56
gdare # 9. March 2009, 06:03
theoddbod # 9. March 2009, 08:24
rose-marie # 9. March 2009, 08:34
I think it's time for another pruning in the friends list soon...
Spaggyj # 9. March 2009, 09:20
clean # 9. March 2009, 09:25
I'm on Zappy's Friend's List
All the people who aren't on Zappy's Friends List
Well I'm on Zappy's Friend's List
Happy about it, too!
Hermitess # 9. March 2009, 09:43
Then I lurk over here on your blog because its so fun!!!
wickedlizard # 9. March 2009, 11:01
***hugs***
ellinidata # 9. March 2009, 12:04
enjoying somebodys' post it doen not mean I want him/her to read my friends only posts",
or receive Private Messages from them
(my settings on frends only P/msg saved me a great amount of time).
I hope the members who request you friendship find the time to read this and learn a thing or two.
b_laudanum # 9. March 2009, 12:21
Furie # 9. March 2009, 14:16
It's ridiculous that things have come so far that posts like this need to be made. Friends List - the name should say it all. It's not like-minded-person list, it's not acquaintance list, it's not people-who-drool-over-my-feminine-stubble list.
wickedlizard # 9. March 2009, 14:31
Javaen # 9. March 2009, 14:43
qlue # 9. March 2009, 15:18
Zaphira # 9. March 2009, 16:26
I blame Facebook and Myspace - where it seems the most important thing is to collect "friends". That may be some of the reason I am not there.
As for the cookies ~ that is a bonus!
Being friendly is not the same as being friends. I'm usually friendly - and everybody is welcome here, friends or not.
After all - I am here to have fun!
Suntana # 9. March 2009, 16:35
Zaphira # 9. March 2009, 16:37
I bet if people knew about the Better than sex-cake, there would be double the number.
Javaen # 9. March 2009, 16:48
Didya make the cake yet?
Inquiring minds want to know.....!
wickedlizard # 9. March 2009, 16:49
somehow or other, those pervs somehow come tumbling into your blog.
I only get to see some through hitslink, whenever someone decides to look up lizard porn...
this is the one:
http://my.opera.com/wickedlizard/blog/and-now-for-something-completely-different
It's become a classic!
Zaphira # 9. March 2009, 16:51
Issy ~ people look for lizard porn on your page?!
For some reason I have a lot who come searching for doggy porn!
wickedlizard # 9. March 2009, 16:54
Javaen # 9. March 2009, 17:04
*scoffs* and you call. me a. Naughty bad girl!
I luv you Zaph!!!!
Issy, I shall check it out post haste
Javaen # 9. March 2009, 17:05
wickedlizard # 9. March 2009, 17:06
Zaphira # 9. March 2009, 17:18
Okay, I'll just shut up now!
Javaen # 9. March 2009, 17:21
wickedlizard # 9. March 2009, 17:25
Oh go on Zaph...
what kind of cakes exactly???
***waits in anticipation***
gdare # 9. March 2009, 17:42
So far, yes. But, I can predict you a bright future in that department
Javaen # 9. March 2009, 17:49
gdare # 9. March 2009, 17:55
KYren # 9. March 2009, 17:56
gdare # 9. March 2009, 18:00
Javaen # 9. March 2009, 18:05
And Zaph, well she sure is a naughty girl.
gdare # 9. March 2009, 18:08
I like toys for boys, though
wickedlizard # 9. March 2009, 18:21
gdare # 9. March 2009, 18:25
Javaen # 9. March 2009, 18:26
gdare # 9. March 2009, 18:31
Javaen # 9. March 2009, 18:32
wickedlizard # 9. March 2009, 18:36
I luvs ya all!
KYren # 9. March 2009, 19:03
Btw,I have added Zap coz she has great sense of humor which I don't have.I am really serious person.
She is intelligent,obviously,looking at this and the earlier posts of hers,I can say that.
Now about me,I just quickly add people who I think are intelligent,smart,give me some good advice,belong to all races.The subject of my blog is such that very few people dare to comment on it.So,I don't take it seriously when they don't comment on my blog.I keep people in my friends list even if they don't add me back just to show that I admire them.I have people into my friends list whose blogs I rarely visit,but they are there coz I had liked them once and would have felt honored to be friends with them IRL also.
Issy is into my friends list and I have commented on her posts also when I was new to opera.But poor phonie me,couldn't handle it when she posted 3 to 4 posts a day.I visit her blog occasionaly but she's still in my friends list as my appreciation for her.