Still have the same bloody headache so the last few weeks have not been terribly productive. Nonetheless there has been movement. In another week I can pick up my passport after which I can get the local Identification (which required a passport or local birth certificate, hence the passport first. Yesterday I finally got my replacement bus pass, so that means I can get about, and it won';t cost me every time.
Unfortunately my knee isn't getting better as I would like and it caused me grief, in time it might get better. The police are closing my file, or rather it is now inactive as nothing new has happened or come up (nothing found, and the only likely suspect cannot be called in on what they have currently), sigh. I still find myself not quite as resolute of step and am still looking over my shoulder far too much.
I still have a lot of paperwork to do, much of it futile. The victim's assistance will only help with medical and counselling costs but not with replacing stolen goods, maybe with added transportations costs (stolen bus pass), but for that alone it is a lot of paperwork. That 20 dollar cheque that social services had agreed to add in for those emergency funds, never materialised, something they said to get me out of the building. I expected it, they take joy in the misery of others (shadenfreude).
I'll be back to my jolly self if I can get a break from this headache. Certainly I know who values me, friends and family, and devalues me, the government and agencies designed to help out those in need (throwing the helpless on the compost heap). I've passed through the worst of my nightmare, but if I have an ounce of spare energy here and there it will be spent screaming at the people in charge over their utter failure to help the needy, and that includes the media, who failed to do any kind of follow up when the people a block away from me suddenly found themselves homeless, quite a few now wander all day long with their few possessions, shelter to shelter. It sickens me to see the sanctimonious lot fawning over the 2010 Olympics and the surplus of tax monies in this province.
It is getting chilly at night and the days are less and less sunny, and I dread the cold winter ahead. There is more I dread and it bother me to even say of write of it, denial offers comfort, especially when there is just and overwhelming amount of the negative in day to day life.
Where I live is no palace, definitely not. I am at the bottom of my life without much chance of improving my lot. Whereas some years ago I had a full time job and my own business, and was teaching master classes a couple of times a week, now I am a breath away from homeless. My crime was that I had the unmitigated gall to lose sufficient numbers of brain cells to an orphan disease, for which there is neither cure or treatment, nor any big and powerful organization to fight for research and quality of life. I didn't get this as a result of neglecting my health, taking part in risky behaviours, nor abusing substances. It was just my rotten luck.
It's all been about coping this week. I've run out of pain pills (the time release version) and am patching together over the counter and my break through pain medication trying to last until the doctor's appointment next Friday, hopefully after all my letter writing and support letters from my X and my daughter, and not least, the presence of my X at the appointment, she will this time, give me the whole of my needed pain fighting regimen. I am fortunate that I do not suffer with withdrawal symptoms. that part of my brain is (in this case thankfully) damaged beyond usefulness. Not so good is that fact that there is nothing wrong with my ability to perceive pain and discomfort. There was a time when I did not feel much pain at all, the down side of that time being that I also could feel nothing else, just numbness and some tingling, my feet could not sense touching the floor or feel me smashing my hand into a wall or cutting through my flesh. I would all to often be surprised that the trail of blood on the carpet turned out to be my own and would have to ask help in finding the source.
Applying logic to the problem I supposed that my nerves might be dying off with a lack of bloodflow, resulting from low blood volume, thick blood and low blood pressure, a combination not at all uncommon with someone having Shy-Drager (or the new label MSA-A). I found some research notes on medication developed for just that triad of symptoms for sickle cell anemia and also for diabetes peripheral neuropathy, and after some correspondence with the author of this research found a doctor here willing to prescribe the medication off-label to me. It took six months but I got my feeling back and my coordination improved also (I suspect my brain was not having such good bloodflow either and benefited in several other ways not as noticeable as my blue/purple feet). This was when the pain became unbearable to the point of needing pain medication. Imagine being drummed off a support group for having this disease and having so much pain I needed medication, they (the self appointed experts) told me I could not have the disease since there was no pain associated with it. Of course there wasn't, their bloodflow (or rather the lack thereof) had already killed off their peripheral nerves to where they could not feel the pain, which does not mean that a painful condition did not exist! Even physicians cannot get past the literature which says that MSA is not usually a painful disease. They know about the poor blood flow and acknowledge that starved nerves DIE, yet do not supply medications which restore much of the needed bloodflow. Just what is wrong with this picture. I'd rather have to take pain medications than live a life without feeling pain which serves as a warning, and the poor blood flow to the brain may be speeding up the devastation in there. There is more and more literature piling up that the brain can be repaired and that intellectual and creative activities slow down Alzheimer, with some help get bloodflow working optimally (recent tests with Lipitor are showing success, as is aspirin and similar anti-inflammatory), yet doctors do not give those medications to persons with MSA routinely, expecting us to march quietly to our demise. I just can't accept that. Now I have to convince her of all this. I will be so grateful once my own doctor is allowed to return to work. It has been nearly 6 months now.
It has been a rough week pain wise. I've been trying very hard to keep busy, probably overdoing it quite a bit but I cannot sleep or rest when I am in pain and it helps to do something. so I sewed new drapery for my living room. I found some fabric at the local discount fabric store. Ends of dye runs which look very artistic (I thought the pattern was intentional). The fabric is for outerwear meaning it holds back the wind very well (and of course very cheap at 1 dollar a meter). I lined it in part with blackout material made out of the darkest of the lot. Since. I sleep with my patio door open to allow my cats their access to the cat box which I keep on the balcony. The curtains are green with butter yellow and blue streaks running through. I sewed the lot in one night. I also redid the kitchen counter tops, and since my landlord never gets round to puttying and painting my bathroom ceiling, I spent and afternoon, precariously covering the ceiling with vinyl paper (it is my war against mold, and I will win it). My more tranquil moments were when gardening on my balcony. Lots of lavender and herbs, and as much lobelia.
If I manage to pull it together tomorrow I just would like to at notion I will stay home and perhaps sculpt (bought some more clay) or work on my walking stick with my new rotary tool. I might even manage a to write a new story. For those of you following my attempts to foil the reaper and confound the standard medical notions about neuro-degeneration, that should catch everyone up. I did take, what I think are, some very nice photos of the gardens in my neighbourhood and some of my grandkids, anyone wishing to take a peek they are at www.flickr.com/photos/aletteke
My apologies for running on and on, having got that out I might be more coherent and interesting tomorrow. Much like throwing everything out into a big chaotic pile and then sorting it all out.
We have previously released experimental Labs builds containing File I/O , and 3D . For the first time we now have bundled them all into one build. On all of our desktop platforms.
Head over to the Labs to read more about the newest singing, dancing labs build … and to download your build!
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Today's post will be a bit unusual in the sense that it won't be about Opera itself, but rather about how Opera is brought to you. This post will attempt to explain to you how we get from a lump of source code that can be compiled in a lot of different ways with many different options to the Opera p ...
Hei
We are still doing polishing on Kestrel and have some more crashfixes etc for you all to play with.
Please look for regressions since 9.50
Changelog :
Lots of stability fixes
Fixed an issue with history navigation: an iframe with document.write is not added to history anymore
Fixed an issue whe ...
We released 9.51 today, which addresses a few security and lots of stability issues. This release is a recommended upgrade for all those running the latest stable releases.
Changelogs are available:
Windows
Mac
Linux/UNIX
Go download it!
And one more RC for the upcoming 9.51! Lots of nice fixes in this one - and we need your feedback, specially on:
upgrading (we did some more tweaks to the installer)
saving (of images, of web pages, of "stuff")
Changelog:
Fixed proper clearing of textarea when no-cache is set.
Fixed a crash o ...
Cafe Press "Buday" Search. *Rated: N (internet) for Not A Baby Sitter or Parental Replacement.
The global financial system is about to collapse because the U.S. dollar is about to collapse. The U.S. dollar is about to collapse because of a simple economic fact that no one has the power to change or conceal.
On July 4 I woke up in Pennsylvania, in a mansion which had served as a station on the Underground Railroad, that network of people and places which helped slaves escape their bondage before and during the Civil War. And I thought that, with the replacement of yesterday's chattel slavery with today' ...
You check in at the airline ticket counter. But instead of a boarding pass, you get shackled with an electronic bracelet which tracks your every move, contains all your personal information, and can shock you senseless. This vision of the future of air security is being floated around the Department ...
Transportation Security Administration employees have a hard time getting their workplace concerns addressed, despite several agency initiatives, contributing to low morale and one in six screeners quitting their jobs each year, and potentially threatening airline security.
yes people should legalize marijuana when have you seen a marijuana user smoking through a hole in his neck its much harder to quit tobacco than marijuana I know from experience I used marijuana in high school I quit but I couldn't quit tobacco well guys I have lung cancer now from tobacco I'm here ...
I'd be foolish not to mention to Opera Users who may not know Opera has one of the largest groups there.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2205031654
Facebook blocks and discontinues profiles without specific reasoning, there user
conditions say they can use any reason as perscribed but law, constitutional law, the
California business is held by, especially demands they show you the reason and
the complaints. Evidence and Specifics, they expe ...
McCain's Frienship:
Not worth shit.
By: Gölök Z.L.F. Buday (II-29-2008 13:00)
Who links to here?
Who links to here?
Articles of The My Ego Times Trust John McCain, think he is a friend to anyone, perhaps Franklin Adams was partially wrong, ...
A Couple of Issues:
Politicians and Big Business, The Citizen Under A Tax.
By: Gölök Z.L.F. Buday (II-08-2008 13:00)
........"Homosexual Marriage, 3.5% Fag."
Who links to here?
Who links to here?
Articles of The My Ego Ti ...
Why a Y.:
The need of Y cromasome as a stabilizer.
By: Gölök Z.L.F. Buday (II-02-08 13:00)
Who links to here?
Who links to here?
Articles of The My Ego Times
Thinking over, mulling over the occurances of when a guy leaves home putting "mam of t ...
Arizona State Representitive Mark Anderson, a Republican from Mesa, has a long history of loyal and devoted service to Rev. Sun Myung Moon, the self-proclaimed "messiah" and leader of the Unification Church.
Moon's followers have historically been called "Moonies."
Almost ten years ago the Mesa Tr ...
Have you ever been bothered by unwanted visitors at your door trying to sell you on their religion?
Probably the most familiar and persistent door-to-door proselytizers are "Jehovah's Witnesses," a sect seemingly historically obsessed with "doom and gloom."
Witnesses have an apparent fascination s ...
Chuck Anderson, the head of an unaccredited school called the Endeavor Academy (EA) in the Wisconsin Dells, is dead. He was 83.
Often referred to as a "cult leader" by his critics, Anderson's followers called him instead their "Master Teacher" (MT).
The self-styled “miracle worker” (see photo ...
Yisrayl "Buffalo Bill" Hawkins, self-styled prophet and religious entrepreneur runs an operation called the "House of Yahweh" (HOY) near Abilene, Texas.
Recently featured in a segment on ABC 20/20 and interviewed on CNN Nancy Grace, Hawkins held forth on the fate of the world, predicting with alleg ...
New York Times editors and researchers have selected a fugitive sex offender as an official resource about polygamists.
Anton Hein, a former U.S. resident and registered sex offender with an outstanding warrant issued for his immediate arrest regarding a parole violation, runs a Web site called "Re ...
S. Vitale speaks of spiritual rape and I have been told that her cult followers speak of being spiritually raped so then think of this, Ms. Vitale also teaches in her messages that whatever is going in the natural is going on in the spiritual. Mmmmmm……..
I would say if you are being visited ...
The question, “Do you believe that many religions can lead to eternal life?” is NOT a good measure of a person's/religion's tolerance.
It is possible to disagree with someone and tolerate them.
As I was searching for a reason why this ministry is on this page, it occurred to me to look up certain things on the Living Epistles website, and this is what I found within a transcript called, The Mystery of Judgment:
"Those of us that can sit in a ministry like this are mature. We are the fore ...
Another Transcript to be CENSORED:
"Dealing With Nighttime Sexual Harassment"
(NOTE: I DID NOT TRANSCRIBE THIS TAPE NOR MANY OTHERS WHICH MY NAME IS UPON, I MAYBE TRANSCRIBED 3 at MOST DURING MY YEARS IN THE MINISTRY, IF YOU COULD CALL IT THAT!!!)
http://www.livingepistles.org/AudioTranscripts/ ...
Boy, do I feel better now, I just checked into this site and am amazed that there are a lot more comments. I guess I'm not the only one that feels the way I do. That's a comfort! Hurray to all that weren't too scared to come out and say what they felt! It's time for justice. AMEN!
SUPREME COURT. US Court of Appeals Judge Sonia Sotomayor was confirmed as Associate US Supreme Court Justice by a 68-31 vote. Nine Republicans -- none of whom are up for reelection next year -- were among those voting to confirm her. Conservative groups, including the National Rifle Association and ...
LOUISIANA. Former Congressman Bill Jefferson (D-LA) was convicted Wednesday in Virginia on federal felony political corruption charges. The jury convicted Jefferson on four counts of bribery, three counts of racketeering, three counts of wire fraud and one count of racketeering in a case which alleg ...
NEW JERSEY. A new Monmouth University Poll shows former US Attorney Chris Christie (R) leading Governor Jon Corzine (D) by wide 50% to 36% margin among likely voters. Among registered voters, Christie leads Corzine 43% to 39%.Governor Tim Kaine (D) is term-limited.
VIRGINA. The new Public Policy Po ...
PENNSYLVANIA. Congressman Joe Sestak (D), as expected, will officially announce his candidacy against US Senator Arlen Specter in next year's Democratic primary. Sestak has already began blasting Sestak from the left, arguing the recent party-switching incumbent doesn't hold sincere Democratic views ...
A MESSAGE FROM RON. As I explained over the weekend, I'm giving serious thought to making a big change to Politics1. Several of you expressed an interest in "taking over" in some shared way the homepage news updates. That would only be possible if I change the way the blog is currently written (i.e ...
Established in 1954, I now have a firm foothold in reality, whilst doing all I can to not let it get to me. My personal method of escape (seeing as have yet to see the bags of money that surely I am due by now?), consists or journeys into to my own mind, the only territory where I can control "almos ...
Promoting A Little Libertarianism to shut down Canadian Statism and make some cash for me, ah the Libertarian way. By the way I the Vancouver East contact if your interested in joining, I am in no way some wacked out pot obsessed economist who dreams of anarchy, a tad more centred.
Where oh where are you? Hmmm, well there is one; and I am the Party contact and for a longer time a philosophical Libertarian, am in no way a BC LP Member. The President of it broke the party constitution in not fullfilling that and held my check in limbo for a year. Welcome to VEL. http://www.v ...
Jest selling all sorts of goods and swag like a whore. Credit for the creditless: Vancity's (Vancouver) Gift Visa, a Gift or Privacy Card. here's the Press Release; Also Money Mart Sells Prepaid Credit Cards. If it helps. Also: Western Union Prepaid MasterCard (Money Mart May Be Selling This One) - ...
Two new studies show why some people are more attractive for members of the opposite sex than others.
The University of Florida, Florida State University found that physically attractive people almost instantly attract the attention of the interlocutor, sobesednitsy with them, literally, it is di ...
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