Dex

Hockey freaks. Well, not all of them. You can't go and label a country based on their love of a ...er...sport. Ahem.

Just returned from my trip up North to visit my dear friend, Carly. Had a fabumundo time, let me tell ya. Upon my arrival I was whisked away on foot to a nearby pub, River's Reach, where we had some fine, fine brew and great discussion on a variety of topics. It's really refreshing to talk to Carly who has such interesting views, and well pretty much agrees with me. What more do I need? It's practically a f'n clone. We are ^THIS close to finishing each other's sentences and starting our own party planning business. After bottoming out the keg of Foster's, her boyfriend Aaron (cleaning the apartment while the two of us had libations), joined us and we hit dinner at Anducci's (super fab pasta joint). This is where the diet soda debacle ensued...grrr. Oh, and I realized on my journey to Portland today that I left my leftovers behind.

Next day breakfast at The Pantry where Carly told me I was going to die from the bacon, mushroom, and cheese omelette. (Ha, I am still living!) the Heinz however tasted different. Maybe because it was manufactured in Ontario. Hmm?? Perhaps. I think they use Canadian tomatoes. We skipped over to Safeway to pick up a few items for the party. This is where I think Canada nailed it on the f'n head. You have to put a quarter into the shopping cart in order to unlock it from the others. Genius! Of course, you get your quarter back (from inside the cart's handle) when you lock it back up. Ha! Take that United States. United nothing.

So like I said, we are going to start a party planning business. Not sure what the name of it will be, but it will promise a fantastically awesome experience. Naming conventions welcome, please post them in the comments section. Met some interesting people (yes, interesting=good) people at the party. Here is what I took away:
1) The majority of people were addressed by their nickname.
2) Lots of people pee in the shower.
3) Great shit comes from Canada.

(Flap (Tara), Queenie (Carly), Bex (Rebecca))
After the party wrapped a few of us hit (one of many) casinos in The Couv. We had dinner and drinks and gossiped about ...stuff. I did see:
1) A man dressed as a woman.
2) A f'n douchebag wearing sunglasses in a dark casino.
3) Old people dancing.

I put $20 (don't worry..they were Canadian dollars) into a 5 cent slot machine and walked away with my dignity still in tact. I see how those flashy machines can suck you in. Rats. But I am too stingy with my money. If I spend it, I want something tangible in return. Call me selfish. Pretty spent from the day we returned back to The Carlton, shared opinions on the days events and called it a night.

Another fantastic trip el Norte. See my fans again in August.

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If you want to use my body...go for it.

Monday, April 23, 2007 4:58:03 AM

Donating your body to science can help those learning to become doctors understand the human body. Or, donating your organs can help save someone's life who would otherwise die. What an amazing feeling. The disappointing part is that you will not be there to appreciate your own donation receiving that feel good buzz of doing something good. You will be dead. That is an awful grim thought, but it is a reality.

On my license to drive I have a special code printed listing me as an anatomical donor. Creepy huh? Well, not really. I have heard that simply having that code on your license does not guarantee you or any part of you will be donated. Therefore it is very important that you sign up with a local registry to affirm your wishes are granted. As I was getting ready for work the other morning, I heard on the radio about a local organization that collects your information and retains it..well until you die. I find it incredibly liberating. I can't explain it.

In relation to organs and body parts I visited The Bodies Exhibition on Friday in Seattle. First thing, I just love when I make a schedule and hit it right on the mark. I was only 10 minutes early for my ticket time which thoroughly pleased me. What fantastic time management skills. Second, I would recommend this exhibit to anyone and everyone. It is a unique view into the human body using real life body parts (skin, bones, muscle, organs, bodies, etc...) and explaining how each part has a vital (no pun intended) job in sustaining your life. I can't really go into detail about it..because there are so many details. I can say that it is a surreal experience as you view parts of the body preserved in a unique state. It is hard to fathom that you aren't looking at plastic formations, but they are all real.

Lastly, I learned more about the appendix. Now people know the appendix to be a pretty much useless and annoying organ that can rupture without notice, not even a 30-day notice. Turns out, well it is still pretty useless. It's prior purpose? Well when we were cave people we ate stuff that was harder for our bodies to process..hence the appendixes (sp?) purpose...to break that shit down. Now, we don't eat rocks, dirt and sticks so the appendix is just taking up space and not paying rent.

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diet soda please

Saturday, April 21, 2007 4:36:45 PM

Soda, Coke, Canada

Alas, I have reached the British colony. A funny little thing happened on the way to the forum. At a restaurant, ordered a diet soda from the pretty little waitress. She went in search and returned to tell me they did not have any diet soda. I thought to myself that was quite odd...but whatever..So I told her I would take a regular soda.

See this is really where you need to be clear with what you want. I have really gotten use to ordering a diet soda (thinking of diet coke here) in my native land. Growing up I called it pop and as I got older people just looked at me funny for referring to it as pop. Same debate over flip flops and thongs. But I digress.

Pretty little waitress brought me a soda with a straw...a glass of club soda no less. I guess you get what you ask for around here.

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The Bodies Exhibit

Tuesday, April 17, 2007 1:50:41 AM

The Bodies Exhibit

I am so very excited about what is in store for me at The Bodies Exhibition. You can read all about it here. From what a few people have told me it is a very unique view of your insides. I can't do it justice but hope to share what I saw when I return from my trip up North.

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On the road again

Saturday, April 14, 2007 5:29:18 AM

Next Friday (the glorious day for potsmokers) I will be headed el Norte to visit Vancouver, B.C. How excited am I for this road trip! Even though I will be alone, I will be making pit stop in Seattle to see The Bodies Exhibit. Stay tuned.

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Sun? Well kinda.

Saturday, April 14, 2007 5:24:14 AM

Phoenix, Tater, drunkards, baseball

Continuing from a post a couple weeks ago..this is the conclusion of my trip to Phoenix. I really only spoke of my initial journey there. I think that was a special little trip all in its own.

Just to recap. I went to Phoenix to visit my friend Erika who is a very important opthamologist in the greater Phoenix area. So, if you are in Phoenix or Tempe or Scottsdale..look her up. Dr. Wilken. I kind of like telling people I have a friend who is a doctor. I think it's cool. Then again, I am a dork. Erika had to work the first couple days I was there but we still had fun. I flew in on Wednesday night and much to my dismay it was raining...and it rained again Thursday. Hell, if I wanted rain I would have stayed in soggy Portland. The weather managed to clear up a bit. The first few days I tried to sleep in, after all I was on vacation. But that didn't really happen. How come you always seem to wake up early when you don't have to go to work? Grrr. I spent my mornings and afternoons with Molly and Jade. They are nice kitties. They are sisters and often times very hyper...but a lot of the times they just lounge around. I think they were unsure of me at first, but as soon as I offered them kitty treats...they were my new best friends.

My vacation fit right into my March Madness bracket. I'm lucky to have Erika as a friend because she will actually watch basketball with me. She actually had her own bracket filled out for the tournament. It was awesome. This was the first year I attempted making my own bracket and I didn't do too bad for a beginner. We watched the games from sports bars near her house and enjoyed some brew and snacks. The weather wasn't quite nice enough to sit by the pool or be in the pool for that matter for the first few days. It was cool so I just sat outside and read a book. I finished this really great book while I was there. I was a skeptic at first, but my buddy Ryan ensured me it would be a worthwhile read. It's called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. He lives here in Portland. It is an interesting take on Christianity and spirituality. It's not real churchy or pushy religion...because I wouldn't have finished it if it was. It reads like a novel and I recommend it.

So staying at Erika's house was great. I had access to everything I needed. The first day I was there I took some pics of the house and grounds. This is Erika and Steve's first purchase. Steve is originally from Connecticut (or somewhere thereabouts) and Erika from Portland. They met in Boston when she was going to grad school. She applied for her residency in Phoenix and they moved out there two years ago. They love it.

They have an orange and a grapefruit tree in the backyard and their neighbor has a lemon tree that hangs over into their yard. They can pick whatever they want. I told Erika she needs to get a juicer and make lemondrops and greyhounds! I might just move in for that!

Arizona is home to many, many spring training camps for Major League Baseball. Saturday we got ready to head to Tempe to see the Anaheim Angels play the Colorado Rockies. It was an awesome experience, but after a few beers I can say that I wasn't really paying any attention to the game. Steve had a ton of his friends in town for the week. These guys get together (at least 10 of them) and spend about five days going to spring training games and binge drinking. They all stay a hotel and do the above just being the guys. We ran into them at our game and they provided much entertainment. Needless to say they were pretty lit at 1pm.

Erika and I met these two nice gentlemen from Vegas. They were standing near our group (us and those wacko drunkards!) and joined in conversation. I pointed out to (~~Brandon~~ Ken, in white shirt and Brandon is the surfer guy) that his zipper was down. He was kinda tall..you couldn't really miss it. All of the guys started hazing me asking why I was checking out his zipper. Well it's just rude not to mention it. The other guy...well I can't remember his name (Brandon).Damn. I did know it a few weeks ago and would have to defer to Erika for the correct name. They were nice guys. Surfer boy was originally from Huntington Beach, CA and ~~Brandon~~ Ken hailed from Chicago. We parted ways with our new friends and the drunkards and headed back to the house to get ready for dinner.

On the way back to the house we stopped at a QuikTrip. It was my first experience and I was in love. QuikTrip is a convenience store...well I hate to even call it that...it's like the heaven of convenience stores. So clean..you have never seen a place so clean and with such a variety. I will be writing to their company soon to find out how to bring them to Portland. We got a sugary energy drink and continued on. We went to dinner in downtown Tempe at P.F. Changs. Love it there. But I was feeling kinda sick at that point...I think the sugary drink on top of the beers did me in. I barely ate my meal and limped along to the next bar. Where we had the pleasure of meeting .....Tater. Yes, an actual person named Tater. I won't go into the details of our meeting and our conversation. You really just had to be there. But if you ask, I will definitely tell you the story.

Here are some quick facts about Tater.
He hails from North Carolina (a very, very small town).
Where you pretty much are either a drunk or a tweaker.
He's been in jail a couple times.
While he was there his girlfriend cheated on him.
With his cousin and his brother.
He moved to Phoenix where his uncle lives to straighten his life out.
It was like being witness to an actual episode of Jerry Springer.
He's only 22.
He is pictured on the left.

Oh and here we are...looking all cute. Thanks Erika for a great trip! Can't wait til February!

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Down and Out

Saturday, April 7, 2007 4:41:35 PM

Can it be attributed to Global Warming? It seems as though everything else is being blamed on the warming of the Earth so why can't I use it as an excuse? What am I talking about you might wonder? Oh yes, I am sick...AGAIN. I have been ill more in the past 6 months than I have been in the last 5 years. I don't know what it is. People tell me it is stress, being overworked, overschooled, overlifed...etc. I would agree with them..in the beginning..but I have just kinda been coasting the last couple weeks.

I spent nearly a week visiting friends in Phoenix and then a weekend in Bend visiting Teddy. Work has been pretty mellow for the most part. So I'm not sure where the "stress" is coming from. I have been sick with a cold for the second time now in three weeks..and now I'm working on my second kidney infection in four months.. I may need a new one soon. Does anybody have one they want to donate?

School has started again this week but I have made a pledge to just take it easy and do the essentials and nothing more. I'm working on becoming more active physically in hopes to boost my immune system since it is in need of extra help.

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Your seat can be used as a flotation device

Thursday, March 22, 2007 7:16:54 PM

There is a thing or two to be said about vacation. 1) Vacation is f'n awesome. 2) You feel like a stranger in your own city. For #2, let me explain. Being at the airport in your home city, nobody really knows you and you could pretend to be from anywhere. The airport brings together people from all walks of life and areas throughout the country and the globe. Let's face it, unless we are regular business travelers, it's not like we frequent the airport on a weekly, monthly or even bi-monthly basis. My stint in the Portland International (just saying that because it lends to Portland's metropolis) Airport yesterday, albeit short-lived, I felt like a stranger in my own city. It might not make sense to you, but it does to me.

Where am I you might ask? Well more importantly let's talk about where I have been in the last 24 hours. Have you ever flown Southwest Airlines before? I can't remember if I have or not, but what I do remember, with most airlines, is that you are assigned a seat. But not with Southwest. Once you check-in you are assigned to a boarding group, either A, B, or C. At the gate people on your same flight begin to hover in and line up like they are waiting in line for rare concert tickets. They are equipped with everything short of fold up lawn chairs. They wait in line sometimes for hours. As you have probably guessed boarding group A boards first. No assigned seats. All seats are the same as there is no First-class. As imagined the window seats fill up quickly. As I boarded the plane (group B) for my destination(s) (to be explained further)....I easily found a window seat at the rear of the plane. Frankly I don't care which part of the plane I am sitting in but I do prefer a window seat. I want to see it all and it makes me feel less naseous...well sorta.

Everyone is getting boarded and one of the flight attendants politely mentions over the loudspeaker that we are late in departing for our destination of ....er..Oakland, California. First thing is I have read a lot about Southwest Airlines and how they perform at the top of their industry due to many reasons one of them being their ability to hit departure and arrival times like nobody else. So, for them to be departing Portland 20 minutes after said scheduled time, well let's say you could hear the tension in their voices. Take-off I don't mind..it's the landing part of it all. Not for the reasons you might imagine. I don't feel like I am falling out of the air. It's either due to the nausea I experience as the plane begins its descent or the unbelievable pressure in my ears and head I felt yesterday, twice. Pressure like my ears are going to explode and blood is going to come rushing out of my head. Yes, unbelivable, excrutiating pain.

But what seemed like a half hour was probably only five minutes. Pain is pain, what can I say. It probably didn't help that this past Sunday I started coming down with a cold. Lovely I might say. Just in time for my well-deserved, much-needed, about-damn-time vacation. The extra pressure I felt was probably due to my new found friend, The Cold. So after landing in Oakland you sit and wait for everyone getting off the plane to get off. I, was not getting off in Oakland, no I was onto bigger and better places. Next stop, Ontario....no...not that Canadian place...but I would still be in The Governator's land.

I don't know much about Ontario, only what I have heard from a friend of mine. It's slightly southeast of Los Angeles, probably about 100 miles (I'm guessing). I only sat on the tarmac so all I could see from my little porthole was hills and cloudy skies. Probably is a great place but not one I will visit in my forseeable future. The third take-off of the day and onto my final destination. Finally. Let's backup. When I bought this ticket I bought it for a couple reasons. 1) It was $100 cheaper to fly on Wednesday than Thursday. 2) It left in the mid-afternoon which was to accomodate my Wednesday morning activies and my pick up at my destination.

As we start to descend in the land of ...well...cactuses..this overwhelming feeling of nausea washes over me. I feel like I am about to lose the three bags of honey-roasted peanuts, one bag of pretzels, and one bag of plane crackers (that are really shaped like little planes!) that I have eaten since noon. I manage to think happy thoughts and continue to listen to my IPOD which as I have been instructed is to be in the OFF position. Frankly I don't think my IPOD is going to do big plane any problems but is really helping me find my happy place. We land in...ta da...Phoenix, Arizona and I am relieved that I won't have to be flying again for several days. Yippee! Now to only get off this plane!

Erika was there to greet me and I told her of my plane woes. As we waited for my luggage we chatted about the days events and how much fun my visit was going to be. We left the airport and sought out some real food and a couple of beers. So, I am here in Tempe (Phoenix) and am just starting my vacation for the better part of the next week. Forthcoming there will be photos and additional posts about my trip.

Stay tuned!

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The true benefits of makeup

Thursday, March 15, 2007 3:32:26 AM

I never thought I would do this. Post photos of myself on the web looking so....er...natural. I was quite scared when I saw it.

Last weekend was my sister's birthday and we decided to do a MaryKay makeup makeover party and then head out to McMenamins Edgefield to enjoy some good beer. There were quite a few of us, however, to protect the innocent I am not posting their BEFORE and AFTER photos here. Just mine. Layla Bauder, our favorite MK gal, came out and set us all up. There were snacks and beverages and we all had a good laugh as we tried new things. It was a good time to kick back, relax, and get glamourized.

Well the orange headband isn't really doing me any justice either. I look depressed for dramatic effect.

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The concert season is upon us

Thursday, March 15, 2007 3:14:34 AM

Let the games begin. It's concert season again and I am soo friggin' excited. Time to scope out new bands and see old favorites.

4/14 Silversun Pickups
Don't know much about this band but they play a song of theirs on 947NRK here in Portland. It's called Lazy Eye. Me gusta.