sarah's Arty Dreams

I started dating when I was 14, near my birthday of 15. But I remeber that it last just 3 weeks!

I ask myself the same and I'm worried about my daughter. She's 9. But all that I try is talk a lot with her about it. And try to make her understand that is not cool begin to date so early. You tend to jump this age of your life, and later you'll feel repented...

She seems to understand now, but I don't know in the future...

I know what it is!

I married with 18!

So, when my mother told me not to do, I did!!!!

Even having started to date later, when I got my first love, I married

Sometimes it's complicate the relationship with parents, but the best is try to keep a good talk with her and always be close!

you're the best example to her!!

If I may, I have something to add.

I agree that you should keep an eye on her in order to protect her. Of course.

But please don´t forget, that she ´s probably using all the very big words for herself, like "love him forever and forever". For her it´s big time and it means the world to her.

So, when keeping a keen eye on her, do remember to keep a respectful distance at the same time. That´s the difficult part.

If you don´t mind my saying so

14...and I totally agree with Allan. It meant the world to me at that age, and I wish my parents had respected that fact. Just make sure you teach her how to say , "NO".

i was 14. i'm still not married to anyone of them. and i forgot the name of the first few guys i dated...

maybe u shouldn't worry, sarah. if i could forget, yr kiddo might too.

of cos, u might have to let her date a truckload of ppl!!! i did, therefore i forget easily.

I'm a boy and of course I will find anyway to coax a girl So I think you should have a talk between you and your girl and her boyfriend. you should analyse that issue at this age how is the right and important way. And I agree with Bea that you're the best example to her. I knew you love your girl so much And hope you will find best way!

12!?! That's young! Well I think it is. I mean, what can you do when you are 12? Go to the shops? Watch tv?? And if things don't work out, a 12 yr old could take it all too seriously and get sad Whatever you do though, when your daughter (I'm assuming your daughter is 12) is 18, dont' treat her like a 12 yr old!! (Yes, I am sometimes treated like a little naive child by my dad) However it is fine to treat a 12 yr old like a 12 yr old. My cousin is going to be 12 soon!!! Ahhhhh! She's so little!!!!

I have to say 12 is way too young myself.
You are the mom...so if you feel uneasy about something...you should act on it.
Also, keep the communication wide open...ask specific questions.
Just my 2 cents..

My rule was: when you can convince me that you are mature enough to date. I would have estimated approximately 18. My daughter never gave me a problem with it though, I think she realized that there is a time for everything and prior to 18, her focus needed to be on education. She started dating at 18 got married at 19 and had her doctorate at 23. She's been married 10 years now and they just had their first baby.
The boys started at 19 or 20 and that was totally their own choice too. I wouldn't have minded if they had dated at 18, but boys mature a little slower.
I have to qualify this a little. These kids were brought up with the idea that that the consequences to their actions were theirs and theirs alone. I think that made them much more cautious in all their decisions and much more likely to ask (and take) advice from me.

We don't have such a ritual of dating. 13-14 adolescents usualy spend time in small groups. I myself didn't start dating until 18. Soon I met my future husband and we started dating.

Love,
Ramute.

I was 25 before my first date.
It took me that long to find my way out of the wilderness.

Both my daughters were juniors or seniors in HS, I wouldn't let them out of the house until then:D

They did know everything, and more than me by then, thanks to their mother.

I believe in disclosure.

Make sure that you tell the girls that there are NO good boys out there and that they don't become men until they are at least 30 if at all.

And that there are very few good men:)

I was 12 at my first date and she was about 16. The first contact between girls and boys is like exploring each other. You should give her a little bit of free space, but have one or more eyes on them.

I met my big love at the age of 18 and married her with 28.

@Dave: Maybe he is one of the few good men. Nobody knows.

Like Cheryl I have to say, 12 seems a bit too young for me. She is a child with 12. I know, the todays kids are much younger, when they have the first date, but I can't support this. (I was 18) I think, you will come to a right decision.

Have a wonderful weekend with your family, Sarah.

Sarah,

With regards to your children dating, it sounds to me like your children are starting to learn a little more about life. Nonetheless, as a parent, your concerns are reasonable. Kids are interesting little creatures, and as you know, when they see older kids, or adults for that matter, do things, they can't wait to do the same. When they are ready to have an interest in boys or girls, their biological clock will let them know, but a parents job is to make sure that they don't go too far. Some people would even argue that its healthy for them to date at a young age, because it prepares them for what's to come. I agree, but again, I think it's still important to be vigilant, that is, keep an eye on things to some degree, so that their newly discovered urges don't get out of hand. The fact that you asked for advice on this matter, tells me that you are a very good parent, and that you truely want the best for your children. I commend you, and you have my blessings Sarah. I wish you all the best. M.

I've just had an idea ... instead of your daughter's boyfriend carrying a picture of her in his wallet (I'm sure he'll get there if he hasn't already), he should carry a picture of you and your hubby ... just so he knows who he'll be running into when he least expects it if he does something he shouldn't!

Have her email a pic of your hubby in uniform ...

u r one heck of a mean papa, david!

I was just figuring ... you know ... your hubby must have a pic of himself with his rifle

(I was going to call it a 'gun', but a Marine would take exception to that from what I've heard).

Oh, you've just gotta Blog about that meeting when it happens ... !

runs away from david...


(lucky my papa is a banker... only pix of him with big mock checks and lots of money... )

no man is gonna be afraid of a smiling banker with a big mock check's photo in their wallet!

having said that, i am beginning to miss my man!

no!

papa = dad = daddy = father = sperm that made me

my "man" is my man is my man... (i really should say "MY" "MY" "MY" "MY" "MY" "MY" "MY" "MY")

what's mine is mine, huh? well, gonna go get a supp credit card from my banker papa now! haha!

So ... you're going to get some money? He's going to give you money ... so ... the sperm that made you is some sort of donor ... ?

Yes, he was just a donor. My Mom just used him to get me and my little brother. After that, she divorced him.

He doesn't give me money. I give him money. It's just that I need him to get me a credit card approved (I'm not a credit card user... Everything's in cold hard cash ), cos I will be going abroad next month and country regulation is that I can't bring more than RM1000 in cash cross border.

RM1000 is more or less only US$277! What the hell can I do with THAT amount of money??

Not yet!!!!!

Hope Papa didn't forget and is just waiting for the time I leave Malaysia to pass me that card!!!

It's either that or I "smuggle" money into Singapore!

Thanks... Need all the luck I can get if I'm to smuggle money cross border! I sound like a criminal... I'm only smuggling my own money!!