Sarah Dreams

Diary

Friday, January 30, 2009 12:01:33 AM

Mmmm I had to write. I have a feeling that I am all alone in
the world while surrounded by so many. But the truth is, I am
alone in my thoughts.

Angry towards people and how they act.
Wanting other things in life.
Sad for others....

I want to talk and for people to hear me...actually HEAR
what I am saying...get it in their head and learn from it...(my kids)

Am I wrong in being angry? Somethings that I can't touch, can't feel,
and wanting to make right? How can I let go of these thoughts and
feelings?

You know what? I want to just get busy...really really busy! I want
to get out of this house....I am applying for a boring position at
the college...*crosses fingers and prays* Please God let me get the
job...it is what I need, what I want. I want I want I want I want

I want to give back to the world and feel as if I am doing something
every day to help someone out. I HAVE NO LIFE! I have nothing except
taking care of kids. I try to be domestic, but I HATE it... I hate
dishes...I hate vacuuming...I hate cleaning...laundry...but I DO IT.

I hate wishy washy people.....I know I am too harsh...

I want to take a hot shower and wash away all the pain.

-S

Cell phone advice.... My Twitter Stats / Jan 2009

Comments

Cleanclean # Friday, January 30, 2009 12:20:15 AM

Is that an application for a course, or a job? Either way, good luck! If you don't get that, apply for more! Or an online course. Or do volunteer work! Or start a home-based business with your craft! Or take some Sarah time and go out the back and do some gardening. Or ... or ...

... sounds like everyone needs to be made aware that there should be some time every day that is for you - interruptionless - where you can get something accomplished (not that you're not accomplishing things, you just feel like the things you're accomplishing aren't as much as what you could be accomplishing).

Look forward, Mrs B ... !

Casey²dragonharrower # Friday, January 30, 2009 1:27:26 AM

*hugs Sarah* I'm not sure that was much help, but good luck with getting the position.

Dacotah # Friday, January 30, 2009 1:56:00 AM

Mrs. HermitessHermitess # Friday, January 30, 2009 5:42:25 AM

Big hugs Sarah!

I agree, it sounds like you need some time for you, doing whatever you wish...

...And to be appreciated by those you work so hard to care for.

As far as anger, you could try journaling, meditation, long walks ... Ok, these are the things that help me.

I have a friend that gets in her car and screams.

I hope you feel better soon! Good luck on your job hunt!!!

KarenNerak # Friday, January 30, 2009 6:27:47 PM

Whatever it is you choose to decide, I am here for ya'. I know that taking a job will take you away from the Net for longer periods of time, but who cares? I mean really. This is your life we're talking about!

I'm behind you 100%. If you every need any references or anything of the sort, DO NOT hesitate to put my name down. I love you inside and out. Your happiness and feelings of worth mean more to me than you could ever know.

Besides; the example you will be setting for the girls is commendable! Showing them that they can't do anything they put their mind to is really something. It's one thing to tell them those things....but to really show them? Well, there's no replacement for that.

I'm so proud of you, Sarah. I may be older than you, but I look up to you in so many ways. I truly love you.

CherylDuckyChickenLady # Saturday, January 31, 2009 2:12:02 PM

I can truly relate to those feelings Sarah.
Especially about the kids--- Other than getting a sledge hammer and banging it into their brains..I don't know how they will ever really learn! (Just kidding by the way...I am vocalizing the frustration!!!)
They can make me cry sometimes by their ignorance, but it is their own choice after I have already made the answer very clear.
Just pray for them. Of course--they continue to need your guidance, but I guess that's where the Grace of God comes in to give you the strength you need to carry on! (with love)

Getting out might be exactly what you need. Is it a part time position?
How lovely to get a paycheck and feel like you are accomplishing something!
I pray you get the job!

& like clean said, if you don't--try for others...

& to sound like a cliche... It will get better & this too, shall pass!
Think of it this way...you are doing something about changing & that is way more than a lot of others would do. They would just bitch & complain and do nothing...you are working at bettering yourself.
The definition of insanity is--- doing the same things over again and expecting different results...

Have a great---different, week-end!