sarah's Arty Dreams

I enjoyed walking with my daughter last night. Our shadows were cast long and precise on the road under the street lights above us. The warm night air flowing in and out of our lungs slowly warming our bodies up. Honestly, my back was hurting me from the continued pinched nerve but I continued knowing that the pain would ease, eventually.

Yesterday my gorgeous sister came over with my 2 nieces and we made sugar cookies. No one thought of the icing, so they tasted a little bland. I can't get over the 2 sticks of butter that were required by the recipe. Like it is needed!? I hate American cooking...but it seems as if a few are trying to make better examples lately by claiming 'going green'.

My long time friend lost her brother, Brandon, yesterday....he was only 37 but had a pretty hard life of drugs and drinking...and partying. He died in his sleep. She called me at 7:30 and said, "Sarah?" I said in a raised voice, "WHAT?" I was witness to dark feelings earlier in the night and when I woke felt as if an intruder was in the house. Can anyone relate? Anyway, I braced for her answer...she giggled...and I said, "Well you never call this early so it scares me. Is it an emergency?"

I now translate her giggling as knowing me so well and knowing why I sounded worried...I sort of stay in a state of heightened awareness being a worry wart and all. She answered that yes it was an emergency and begun to tell me what happened.

Back to Brandon. I remember when we were teenagers, she would often ask me to go with her to find him at the bars and pick him up. She was constantly trying to keep him safe and out of trouble, although he was a grown man. She knew her brother too well. He would be completely doped up on pills and then drink himself into a stupor. Never would he starve his need to get high. Drugs were too often dangled in front of his face for a good time with friends...

So out her and I were with only the clitter of crickets and moth in the street lamps searching for Brandon. We once found him wandering in the middle of a busy street not to far from the bars. He had a hard life...he had anger problems...he had a hard time dealing with things. It's sad and tragic. I see it as another life demolished by drugs, drinking and a hard lifestyle.

I really had to get that off my chest because of knowing him for about 18 years now...

Off to make breakfast!

-S