My OperaVery funny (for those who know proper English)
Friday, May 5, 2006 5:57:56 PM
*copied and pasted from an email
*******************************************
> THE HUMOR OF Life can be
> MELVIN DURAI so funny!
> ******************************************* > THIS WEEK'S COLUMN:
"THE GROWING THREAT ON ENGLISH" http://www.MelvinDurai.com/english.htm
"Tonight, on a very special edition of Larry King Live, we have an
> exclusive interview with Jed Greeley, president of the English
> Protection Association (EPA). The association was formed this year to
> protect the English language from what it calls -- and I'm quoting
> here -- 'a murderous
> assault from the Mexicans, Chinese and Indians.' Why are you focusing
> on them, Jed?"
> > "We ain't focusing on nobody, Larry. Thems are the main ones, but
> there's other ones: the Colombians, the Iranians, the Pakistanians.
> They all be coming to America and they ain't speakin' English. It
> ain't right, Larry. If they ain't willing to speak English, dang it, > they ain't deservin' to live in this free country."
> > "But why the big concern, Jed? People speak lots of languages in other
> countries."
> > "Larry, it don't trouble us if they speaks Russian in Russia, Chinese
> in China or Canadian in Canada. But these are the United States of
> America. Over here, we speaks English. I ain't no lingualist, but I do
> believe English is the supremest language in the world. Jesus spoked
> English, ya know?"
> > "So you believe that everyone in America should speak English? No
> exceptions!"
> > "We ain't saying people gotta speak English in their houses and all.
> We saying they gotta speak English when they's on family outings,
> going to Wal-Mart and such. Also when they's at work. I mean, the
> other day, I'm takin' a taxi and the driver, he ain't understandin' a
> word I'm sayin'. I dang gives him a piece of my mind. And ya know what
> he says to me? He says I gotta brush up on my Urdu."
> > "But this is a land of immigrants. Our forefathers spoke many
> different languages, including German, French and Italian."
> > "But they be learnin' English soon. And ya know why, Larry? Because
> back then, there wasn't no non-English channels on TV. No Univision,
> no Al Jazeera, no dang Zee TV."
> > "Your association has started a petition to stop Mexicans and other
> groups from making Spanish the official language of America. Do you
> really think that's going to happen?"
> > "Dang right, it's gonna happen, if they gets what they wants. Some
> officials already is speaking Spanish. And so is most baseball
> players. They once plays in Major League Baseball, now they calling it
> Las Grandes Ligas De Beisbol. The Mexicans, they also been singin' the
>National Anthem in Spanish and makin' jokes about Jorge W. Bush. They gettin' my
> childrens to watch Dora the Explorer and say 'Hola Papi!' to me. We
> gotta stop 'em now, Larry, before things gets too far, before we ends
> up living in Estados Unidos de América and eatin' enchiladas at
> Thanksgiving."
> > "So you see this as a pretty serious situation?"
> > "Dang right, we do. Look, Larry, if you wanna works on a farm, you
> gotta speak Spanish; if you wanna works in a motel, you gotta speak
> Gujurati; if you wanna works in the stock market, you gotta speak
> Greek."
> > "The stock market? Isn't that all about numbers?"
> > "It's Greek to me, Larry."
> > "Oh, I see. Some people take pride in being bilingual and trilingual.
> Have you ever considered learning another language?"
> > "Another language? Come on, Larry, ain't it enough that I'm fluenced
> in English?"
> > "Other than the petition, what is your group doing to protect English
> in America?"
> > "Well, Larry, for one thing, we's making big signs to put at the
> airports and borders: 'Welcome to America. We speaks English here!'"
> ----------------------------------------------------------
*******************************************
> THE HUMOR OF Life can be
> MELVIN DURAI so funny!
> ******************************************* > THIS WEEK'S COLUMN:
"THE GROWING THREAT ON ENGLISH" http://www.MelvinDurai.com/english.htm
"Tonight, on a very special edition of Larry King Live, we have an
> exclusive interview with Jed Greeley, president of the English
> Protection Association (EPA). The association was formed this year to
> protect the English language from what it calls -- and I'm quoting
> here -- 'a murderous
> assault from the Mexicans, Chinese and Indians.' Why are you focusing
> on them, Jed?"
> > "We ain't focusing on nobody, Larry. Thems are the main ones, but
> there's other ones: the Colombians, the Iranians, the Pakistanians.
> They all be coming to America and they ain't speakin' English. It
> ain't right, Larry. If they ain't willing to speak English, dang it, > they ain't deservin' to live in this free country."
> > "But why the big concern, Jed? People speak lots of languages in other
> countries."
> > "Larry, it don't trouble us if they speaks Russian in Russia, Chinese
> in China or Canadian in Canada. But these are the United States of
> America. Over here, we speaks English. I ain't no lingualist, but I do
> believe English is the supremest language in the world. Jesus spoked
> English, ya know?"
> > "So you believe that everyone in America should speak English? No
> exceptions!"
> > "We ain't saying people gotta speak English in their houses and all.
> We saying they gotta speak English when they's on family outings,
> going to Wal-Mart and such. Also when they's at work. I mean, the
> other day, I'm takin' a taxi and the driver, he ain't understandin' a
> word I'm sayin'. I dang gives him a piece of my mind. And ya know what
> he says to me? He says I gotta brush up on my Urdu."
> > "But this is a land of immigrants. Our forefathers spoke many
> different languages, including German, French and Italian."
> > "But they be learnin' English soon. And ya know why, Larry? Because
> back then, there wasn't no non-English channels on TV. No Univision,
> no Al Jazeera, no dang Zee TV."
> > "Your association has started a petition to stop Mexicans and other
> groups from making Spanish the official language of America. Do you
> really think that's going to happen?"
> > "Dang right, it's gonna happen, if they gets what they wants. Some
> officials already is speaking Spanish. And so is most baseball
> players. They once plays in Major League Baseball, now they calling it
> Las Grandes Ligas De Beisbol. The Mexicans, they also been singin' the
>National Anthem in Spanish and makin' jokes about Jorge W. Bush. They gettin' my
> childrens to watch Dora the Explorer and say 'Hola Papi!' to me. We
> gotta stop 'em now, Larry, before things gets too far, before we ends
> up living in Estados Unidos de América and eatin' enchiladas at
> Thanksgiving."
> > "So you see this as a pretty serious situation?"
> > "Dang right, we do. Look, Larry, if you wanna works on a farm, you
> gotta speak Spanish; if you wanna works in a motel, you gotta speak
> Gujurati; if you wanna works in the stock market, you gotta speak
> Greek."
> > "The stock market? Isn't that all about numbers?"
> > "It's Greek to me, Larry."
> > "Oh, I see. Some people take pride in being bilingual and trilingual.
> Have you ever considered learning another language?"
> > "Another language? Come on, Larry, ain't it enough that I'm fluenced
> in English?"
> > "Other than the petition, what is your group doing to protect English
> in America?"
> > "Well, Larry, for one thing, we's making big signs to put at the
> airports and borders: 'Welcome to America. We speaks English here!'"
> ----------------------------------------------------------
