My OperaA Wonderful Joke........
Monday, July 17, 2006 5:18:33 PM
Dear Tide,
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all
of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I
am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago,
I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and
uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and
generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another
and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I
grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and
satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out
so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests
on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I
was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a
murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.
Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.
n0_name, n0_name@n0_name.com
PERKS OF BEING OVER 50
If you are not over 50, this is what you have to look forward to.
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you ???? "
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat d! inner at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as challenge.
12. You quit trying to h old your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list
And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all
of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I
am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago,
I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and
uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and
generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another
and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I
grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and
satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out
so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests
on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I
was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a
murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.
Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.
n0_name, n0_name@n0_name.com
PERKS OF BEING OVER 50
If you are not over 50, this is what you have to look forward to.
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you ???? "
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat d! inner at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as challenge.
12. You quit trying to h old your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list
And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.
