My OperaYou don't want to read..........
Friday, September 15, 2006 10:50:53 PM
(This is just journal entries that I tried to save before I thought that I needed to clean up my blog. The bad thing about doing this is, I didn't save everything that I thought I did. OK never mind..........it won't make sense to anyone because the entries are showing without the pictures, of coarse I didn't save them with the words.)
today's journal
Friday, 24. December 2004, 03:35:26
Well, this is my first post. I hope that I get some kind of response. ( If it is nice )
I am actully off work today, which is nice because I have been working everyday for 2 weeks. Guess it is the holidays... I desided to use Opera because I heard that internet explorer allows
too many bugs to get into your computer..even if you have firewall and virus protection. I really like this Opera so far. I am home with the kids and they are already bored. I think they are looking forward to opening up their christmas presents soon. Of coarse I was when I was a child.
I remember, it was the year I was 10 years old. I peeked into my gift that I had recieved from my Grandmother and was really excited to see that it was a beautiful doll that strangely resembled me so much. Feeling sorry for the doll being alone and rapped up in the gift, I would carefull unwrap one end of the gift and lift the doll out of the box when the parent's were gone. I would take her into my room and let her sit with me untill I was forced to put her back into her prision of the box for another day.
She was very special to me
That is just a memory that I love. I hope that the kids love and cheris something in their life the way that I did. I really think that it teaches you to love something and take care of it. Now a days it seems that everything moves so quickly and the toys break so easily. The kids really don't appreciate things the way they should.
I just want to say MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!
By the way...this is my four girls today..... hahah I find that hilarious!! God Bless everyone who is in need of it today. Sarah
Tuesday, 11. January 2005, 01:12:32
I am happy...I have my bills paid and feel optimistic about the future..for now. I don't know how I can really feel so happy for the simple fact that the world seems to be going to hell in a handbasket, how can I say that? Wow! That is not optimistic! What am I thinking...anyway back to being happy...My kids are about to get up for school and I have to do everything for them because I am too picky of a mother. Being only 29 I am happy to say that I want them to look a little bit fashionable for the day at school. I feel that if they don't look and act good that is a direct reflection on me. Hearing I should not feel that way does not help at all. Still, every morning I wake them up, pick out the clothes, fix the hair of all 4 girls and make sure that they have their back packs in order, papers signed and jackets on ( and by the way shoes, as well.) Yes one has left the house with only one shoe on ....but didn't make it far. It feels good to be able to write and share my life in this journal. Honostly, I could care less who reads it.
When I was a teenager I kept journals and tried desperately to hide them, with no avail...the parents always found them and thought that I was screwing someone I had a crush on or something to that matter. I know, sounds weird but is true. I would write with so much passion about the one I loved that you would have thought it was a romance novel. wow, amazing and I can not actully believe that I has said it now.....more later. I like smiley.....is cute .....bye all!
Something else, I read one journal post that said something to the fact that they would not put anything personal in here because this is public format.....EXACTLY!! If it is not juicy then I don't think you will get many readers! (or replies) Ok, I will shut up now.
I am so excited....
Tuesday, 11. January 2005, 03:36:22
My younger sister delivered her baby girl yesterday ...the baby was 8lbs and 7 ounces. What a little cute tubby baby!! I am proud of my sister because she did so well...never cried, kept concentrating to push the baby out and did so in like 20 minutes which is really good for a first baby.
She wanted her husband and our mother and me to be in the delievery room with her. The rest of the family was a little jealous that we were the ones that she wanted in there but it is not like I am going to tell her no or something. Of coarse I wanted to see the baby born. I am 12 years older than my sister and I did baby her alot and try to be a second mother to her as young girls do to baby's growing up. So it was really special for me to see the baby coming into this world. WOW!!! Another girl in the family. I am wondering where the baby boys are!!
I was sort of upset about one thing....I had like 15 good minutes of the baby on my DV mini recorder and when I took it out to show the other family I mistakenly recorded over some part of it. OHHH WEEELLL....I can catch hours of the baby later. I am shopping for a new car at the moment...actully a new van because I have the girls and their friends to tote around. So anyway...I wish myself luck!! Later....
Thursday
Thursday, 13. January 2005, 15:02:06
I am not going to write something that I think someone would love to read, I am going to write what is on my mind.
I know I have said that many times already so here I go. Today I had to work long hours so here I sit and feeling relieved to be able to come online and journal. I am tired but the kids won't go to sleep for some reason tonight. They are all wired up and I can't, for the life of me, figure out why. R takes forever to do her homework and it is really starting to bother me a bit. Seems like she just does not want to do it.
Well, guess I will go and check email now.
sad day
Monday, 17. January 2005, 05:41:52
Well, I am really sad right now. We had a family pet named Tusk. He has been with us for like 3 years and he was mostly an outside pet. A beautiful grey and white furry male cat. I noticed that he was sleeping a lot more lately and that he was really unresponsive to me. I was not really sure if it was the cold weather or what....so I just kept a close eye on him. Today the girls are out of school for the Martin L. King holiday and they were searching outside and around the house for the cat. For some reason they were out by my window and there in the evergreen bush laid Tusk. They poked him with a stick and noticed that he was not moving at all.
Needless to say he had passed. Trying to be tough I asked my husband if we should bury Tusk in the backyard ....when we stepped outside to get the cat we noticed that the animal control was next door in front of our neighbor's house. We also noticed that he had a live and very upset cat that she was taking out to her animal control truck. After she took our cat from the bushes, she told us that the cat next door was sick as well. So, I don't know what the deal is right now. Maybe some virus is going around.
I am trying to be strong but I did cry. Tusk was a wonderful pet and now that I know he isn't suffering it makes me feel a little better. Explaining to the kids is a whole different ball game. Guess I will go for now. Sarah
comparing
Thursday, 20. January 2005, 02:27:05
Today is a new day. Thank God that he gives us a fresh start every morning when the sun rises.
I have not been online in a few days so I started early this morning to come on and read the post and share some thoughts of my own. But now that I am here, the emotions of wanting to share my life are gone. Compared to some of the post writen on here, mine are quite boring and repetative. Sorry to whoever chooses to read.
Just to share something personal with the world...I love to write poems, short stories and things of the like. In the future sharing them with you will be a pleasure.
good evening
Thursday, 3. March 2005, 15:21:03
I was reading back of some of my earlier post and I think something came to me that is maybe the most enlightening thing that has come to my mind recently. (well maybe not the MOST enlightening, but comes a close first) ha-ha....anyway, I think I know why we journal and write down our personal life here, or any blog site for that matter, it is because we want to be part of something while maintaining our own identity...is that it???
I really do think that is it. We want people to reply to us..to say.."yes, I hear you and understand you and what you are going through" But then again we want to feel like this is a private domain, which of coarse, it is not.
Well, that is just what I think and thought that now was a good time to say it. I do read alot of journals and don't reply to each one....I need to do that more so that some will know that they are being heard, I am going to do that now. more later, Sarah
I am not going to whine a bit, But I damn sure want to.
I want to whine about nosy family, I want to whine about not being supported by family, I WANT TO WHINE!
This is my journal....I can whine!
But look, I am not giving details, ok?
The only way I can understand what is going on is to not think about it. To be selfish and live my everyday life like I have been doing and wonder how some people can be so totally ignorant to the point that I wonder if they wonder why they are so stupid.
It has to be true. I am venting by the way. I am
Thursday the 10th of March
Thursday, 10. March 2005, 03:21:48
My Mood.........
I have an older brother who is mentally ill and has brain damage due to an accident he had when he was a child. He is in his early 30's and still struggling with a place to live and feel safe. He has been in and out of the mental hospital since he was 18 years old. Which, anyone who knows about schizophrenia, knows that it shows in boys when they are going through puberty. So, we noticed signs while he was in high school that something was definitely wrong. He was a loner and had trouble maintaining relationships.
Being picked on did not help.
When I was a child he was a protector to me. Quite spoken and always had good ideas for play. When he was about 10 years old we lived in North Carolina and went to a small church called Lamb's Chapel. It was set off in the woods in a quiet community where all the women wore skirts and had tuns of kids everywhere. This group of people were extremely religious but I did not learn from them that being religious is good. I recall a long rode that sloped down hill and was paved in gravel, shaded by the dense trees. My brother, let's call him "Joe", was on a 3 wheel bike. The old, rusty petal pusher was not ready for the hell that Joe was going to put it through. I am guessing he was speeding down the hill, just as any boy at the age of 10 would do. The bike gained more and more momentum and not being in working order was violently stopped by a tree trunk just off the side of the road.
Joe was on the bike when it finally stopped and his face and head were smashed into the tree with a force, his mouth was completely laid open to the extent that he had to drink from a straw for several weeks until it healed. Due to the lack of good medical care, I don't think he was properly taken care of.
I just emailed my mother for the story and this is what she sent me.
"First of all, what awsome stationary!
Ok, he was taken to the emergency room in Charlotte. It’s an interesting story because mom was visiting and we had dropped off "Joe and "Daniel" at Lambs Chapel for a boy’s day with the older men. They all were playing in the woods, walking on a rope bridge, and playing camping stuff. They were supposed to be together all the time but "Joe" decided he wanted to ride a very broken down 3 wheel bicycle. He didn’t know the front handle bar that connects to the wheel was broken. He must have walked it to the dirt and gravel hill or maybe rode it there (I wonder if he remembers?) and barreled down the very steep hill into a wooded area of the farm. On the way down (!!!) he lost control of the steering and flew into a very large tree at the foot of the hill on the left of the gravel road. The way I picture it is when the front wheel hit the tree it jacked him face first into the tree! His mouth must have hit first...his bottom lip was split all the way through to below his bottom lip line. No teeth were knocked out but his gums and tongue were torn up like ground meat.
After we dropped the boys off, mom and I went to the grocery store for about 30 minutes and then to a fabric store. After about 15 minutes in the fabric store, I felt a strong urge to call the Chapel and check on the boys. I called from the store phone and immediately found out about the accident. He was already at the emergency room so we went straight there. He was coming out of surgery on his lip and gums when we arrived. He was awake and I rushed to the gurney. When he saw me he tried to smile. I nearly lost it but held back the tears. Even then he was so compassionate for me and told me he would be alright. I tear up just recalling it!"
Ok that is the story she sent me. I changed the names of coarse.
So anyway, I am sad about the way that they treat the mentally ill here in the US. I think that they have come a long way in progress but clearly things need to change.
More on this later. I really wonder why I am so sensitive to sound that the girls make.
" WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY???!!! One says.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!"
"LALALALA WHATEVER LALA YELLING JUMBLED WORDS..."
That is what I hear everyday.
If I would have known kids were so much fun I would have had 20.
Sarah
A New Day, thank God
Thursday, 17. March 2005, 01:45:49
Ok, today is new. I went shopping last night at Wal-Mart. Ohhh we love wal-mart here. But I have to say the quality of the items there are really not up to par. For reasons I will not say, but anyone who has shopped there will know what I am talking about.
So besides that I shop there because I love the prices of things. I just love wal-mart!!!
Like shopping in a huge, big ole' dollar store!
I took my oldest daughter with me and she is 10. She talked and talked until I had to tell her to please be quiet and let me shop. She just ignored me and kept talking. I got milk and cereal for the kids, bread, fruit, mac and cheese, popcorn, fruit and veggies,
then I went to the other side of the walmart and got all the other things like laundry soap, dish soap, cat food, a new broom, paper towels, and C (my hubby) ask me to get the movie "The Incredibles"
After we were finished with wal mart I made a swing by the "little ceascar's pizza" and picked up the girls some pizza. By now it was about 9 o'clock pm.
R and I went home and the C helped me put the things up and then we gave the girls pizza
Sarah
that i need to survive the day?
i have many things to do
but as of now i want to just play.
i feel the list is never ending
get a grip! stop pretending!
you have to do this girl,
you have to do that.
drive 30 times per week,
and try not to get fat.
take care of the kids,
get them to school on time.
then sit at the computer,
try to rhyme.
daydream of ways to make money,
to survive with some pay.
wait a minute, stop! that
is just half of my day.
the other half i'm working,
outside the home.
to help pay for all the silly
nothings that I own.
things that make my life "easier"
or do they now?
when i am running like a chicken,
but feeling like a cow!
Work
Saturday, 16. April 2005, 04:51:46
Just wanted to comment really quick on this
interesting man that came into work today.
I work in the travel industry and we get many
different and interesting people in there.
He was from Iran and he was speaking to
myself and my coworker about many things that
I found so interesting that I could write a
book on them. Being an older man, he was
full of stories and facts. We listened
intently as he told of being persecuted in
his country for many years. He came to the
US as a refugee (religious asylum). I was
actually happy to hear of his story that he
told of bringing his family here, but sad to
know what is really going on overseas.
I don't have time to go into depth, but just
wanted to say that I fully enjoyed the visit
with this older gentleman.
Sarah
about the man from Iran
Sunday, 17. April 2005, 04:23:51
The man's name is Mohamed. When I had to ask his name from him, he stated his name and I had to request the spelling of his last name from him. He looked at me with his big, brown eyes and said "My name has brought me many troubles and hardships."
"Why is that?" I asked, obviously knowing the answer.
"Because my name has been cursed by the Prophet Mohamed."
I said in return to the man's comment, "I am not prejudice, so I can not relate to what you are saying."
His eyes lit up a little bit but his whole face has a natural sad look to it. Lips slightly turned down and eyes as well, wrinkled from age and worry. Mohamed then started to tell me that he is not a Muslim. He has never wanted to be Muslim and that is the reason that he originally fled his country. The man's voice was smooth and comforting. Something in his voice had a naturally flowing quality to it that made you want to hear his stories and more of what he had to say.
The sincerity in his voice quieted the room and time seemed to stand still as he related the sadness that he felt for the people of the middle east.
He said, "During the Iran Iraq war in the 80's, the US was funneling aid to each side, letting us fight until we killed each other. And you call that 'Christianity'? You call that 'freedom'????"
I thought to myself, Oh my God, we have a veteran of the middle eastern war standing here sharing his story freely with us. I had a feeling of privilege.
Mohamed continued, "I wish that I was not educated, I wish that I was a DAMN, STUPID man. If I was stupid then I would not know the real reason that the US is over in the middle east." He then went on to say many things that I don't want to repeat in here, out of respect for him.
Watching him leave I tried to take a mental note of his clothes and stature. He had on all beige, jacket, shirt and pants even a suede beige hat. He was bent forward from old age and carried a cane. Before he walked out to leave he turned and looked at me with and said with the deepest of sincerity, "Sarah! I will remember you! And you remember me! May God bless you and your family and may you have peace forever."
And out the door he shuffled. When he was gone I walked around the counter and found a paper on the floor folded neatly. I opened it out of pure curiosity and this is what it read.
"O Thou kind Lord! Thou hast created all humanity from the same stock. Thou hast decreed that all shall belong to the same household. In Thy Holy Presence they are all Thy servants, and all mankind are sheltered beneath Thy Tabernacle; all have gathered together at Thy Table of Bounty; all are illumined through the light of Thy Providence.
O God! Thou art kind to all, Thou has provided for all, dost shelter all, conferrest life upon all. Thou hast endowed each and all with talents and faculties, and all are submerged in the Ocean of Thy Mercy.
O Thou kind Lord! Unite all. Let the religions agree and make the nations one, so that they may see each other as one family and the whole earth as one home. May they all live together in perfect harmony.
O God! Raise aloft the banner of the oneness of mankind.
O God! Establish the Most Great Peace.
Cement Thou, O God, the hearts together.
O Thou kind Father, God! Gladden our hearts through the fragrance of Thy love. Brighten our eyes through the Light of Thy Guidance. Delight our ears with the melody of Thy Word, and shelter us all in the Stronghold of Thy Providence.
Thou art the Mighty and Powerful, Thou art the Forgiving and Thou art the One Who overlooketh the shortcomings of all mankind.
Baha'i prayer"
I will remember you old man and I pray also that God blesses you and your family until the end of time.
From the poem "Made you Mine America"
travelling across your vast emptiness
you can't turn me down
I gave you my youth
walking and driving Colfax nights long
I came with hate
but now
I love you
America
-Ali Zarren
Hello world
Thursday, 21. April 2005, 08:14:21
how is everyone doing?
I hope good. Well, I don't really
have anything interesting to say
so leave me a message please to let
me know someone is out there.
Sarah
Thanks to all............
Friday, 22. April 2005, 03:16:07
Just wanted to say thanks for the comments...I really enjoy each and everyone of them and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Lol !! Noo, really I mean it.
I hope that everyone has a good weekend and takes it easy. Enjoy each day as it comes.
Wish that I had something more interesting to say. Guess I will put up an picture I enjoy instead.
"
OMy this is cute.
Sarah
hello all
Tuesday, 26. April 2005, 10:24:38
Well, sadly I am not feeling good today. I don't know.........there was something....some bug going around. I hope that everyone is fine and well.
As for me.....I am going to rest now.
Love,
Sarah
Ok
Friday, 29. April 2005, 14:27:55
I am really worried today. I mean, my emotions are going crazy. At work, there is an older man...I wish I could just say what he does at my job...but let's say ... he is not there all day and I work in transportation (for the time being)
Ohhh I am really pissed right now...ok...well, he always has some weird comment to make to me. Some days it is about my toenail polish, some days it is about my hair or make up or WHATEVER he chooses to talk about. Well, today he decided to tell me one of his "new" and "wonderful" jokes (made up from his heart) yeah freakin' right!
This is his joke
"HEY SARAH! Have you got anymore of those wet letters?"
ME~"What in the world are you talking about?"
THE JERK "You know...the ones from across the Rio Grande" (for all those that don't know that is a river that separates Texas and Mexico)
ME~"I still don't know what you are talking about. Guess that one is over my head."
THE JERK~"I was making fun of your ethnicity."
The most that prick knows of my ethnicity is that I am part Spanish.......well I also have American Indian, white and Italian as well. He has no freakin clue what he is talking about. And he said it in front of 3 other co-workers who are all men.
Let me tell you quickly, I work with all men. And all men are NOT created equal!
Anyway, I am just venting. He is nothing but a worm to me that I would love to step on.
Sarah
ohh yeahhhh
Saturday, 30. April 2005, 12:02:41
I am so terribly excited....he is going on vacation for 2 weeks So I will get a break. Thank God..
Sarah
No title
Sunday, 1. May 2005, 00:54:14
Today is Sunday. I am, for some reason, up early and feeling great. I suppose I am so excited to have a day off that I can not sleep late. I joined this group called multiply.com. I am not sure if I like it or not. Can not really get the hang of it and it takes forever for the pages to load, wonder what is wrong with it.
I was thinking that I would love to win the lottery and have endless money to spend. I really need some money. Not desperately, but in the way that I want to go splurge on some things. Shopping is a new hobby for me. Never loving it before, I now relish in finding all of the sales that I can and having the feeling of happiness when I save money! If anyone really knew me they would know that I hated going to the store before. Now I love it.
May sound shallow, but I am not! Really.
Another thing that I want to say is that, I have noticed here on Opera there seems to be faithful groups of people here. What really bothers me is that I gladly post on their journals and they do not return the favor to me. (some or most of them) As anyone can clearly see there are a few that I love.
Guess I am not as interesting as them. I would greatly appreciate some feedback. Ohhh well, guess that is the part of me that is unsure of myself.
Ok, well I will post later. Maybe Opera journal is not the place for me. I suppose I should be on some site where all the whiny mothers of bad ass kids are. YEA I could join in on their hatred of being a mother and whine about having to work and take care of kids and how the husband is a low life piece of shit that never wants to do a thing around the house! ohhh sounds like fun. NOT!
Hope you can read the humor that is given here.
Today is a great day
Wednesday, 4. May 2005, 06:06:38
I have no idea why it is a wonderful day but I am just feeling it right now....
To be honest I have a slight headache that won't go away and my poor cat is sick....BUT! I profess that today will be good. Oh I need prayer! LOL Well, My husband and I are getting along great in every area. I feel this is an accomplishment because we spent the first 7 years fighting. Now for the past 3 years we have been doing good. This is a secret....but...I really think that the "unlucky 7" will actually make us last longer being married. I hear of so many women that are so happy in the beginning and then fall out of love after 2 years or so! I SAY....Marry someone that really knows how to piss you off and push your buttons and then you will last longer..for the pure challenge of it! (That is if you like a challenge)
My friend Eve on here...she said that I should write for me..Well, I would love to but then it would be so damn juicy that it might be a crime. Maybe the Italian and Spanish in me has made me an extremely passionate person. Who knows.
I have had my nails done, they are long and a beautiful deep red color.....SOOOO SLUTTY! But I can't help but loving them. Each time I see my hands with the long red nails it makes me feel "taken care of." OHH I hope I don't loose some of my readers. Ok....when a woman has manicured hands...to me it shows that she cares about the details of her body. That is truly a good thing! Girls! Go get your nails done, please. It will make you feel better no matter what your age.
Love you guys and gals,
Sarah
BTW.......go and take this test!
know some women out there are very special mothers and I want you to know that you are great! Here is a poem that I wrote for my mother a few years ago.
For Mother
Often I wonder how could it be,
That someone could love me
So unconditionally.
The eyes that greeted me
On the day I was born,
Were the windows to a soul
sent from the Lord.
With a heart that would
Love me, from my head to
My feet.
And hands that would slave
so her children could eat.
Strong arms that would protect us,
when we were feeling weak.
Gentle lips that would kiss us
at night on the cheek.
Nothing can replace the
Beauty you bring….
And your spirit inside will
Forever sing.
© Sarah Bell 4/98
Sorry Kay
Sunday, 15. May 2005, 13:53:46
I was trying to post some pics on your journal and they really didn't come out like I thought that they would.
Feel free to destroy my journal if you want to!
I hope that they look better here.
Sarah
New Day
Tuesday, 17. May 2005, 14:59:49
http://www.orcca.on.ca/~elena/photos/Spain/Barcelona/Spain-2004%20003.JPGToday I was extremely busy cleaning the house. I decided to change the rooms around in the house (not such a great idea!)
So let me tell you.....here I was ..moving furniture that is so large that it should not be even made! And almost breaking my back in the process. Why did I choose to do it? Maybe because I have a cleaning bug in me that won't go away. I don't know!
My bedroom is now in the room with the 6x6 mirror in in..the computer in facing the mirror and now I am staring at myself..which is not a bad thing. I like to look at myself! LOL! I just get tickled saying it, I don't know why. The arrangement of the rooms makes me happy for now. Who knows when I will change it again.
I know there is a lot of drama in every family, but there feels like there is extra in my group. One saying this and another saying that and such and such and so on. I don't realize that is has gone too far until I feel anger swelling up in my bosom and wanting to hit the wall. I wish that we could just "all get along!"
I am not sure if family reads this but I want you guys to know that I don't say it to your face.....but I am sick of the drama! I love each and everyone of you to death and I don't want the fighting to go on.
Honestly, I don't see how MY siblings can disrespect MY mother to the extent that they do. I would love to slap a few of them in the face and say "WAKE UP.....You only have one life to live and one mother!"
Yes, I sound angry and I am! I try to do so much for my sister and when I hear her bad talking my mother it makes me so sad that I could just cry. My mother has always been the kindest, sweetest person and has had a little trouble being assertive, but she has done the best that she can do. It makes me cry thinking about how hard she has worked to raise the 6 of us and I know 3 of them that won't give her the time of day barley! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM? Someone who is there no matter what, no matter where I have been or where I am going, I have met you on here and have loved every bit of friendship and acceptance that you have given me.
I will start to write more. Good night, I am going to bed now and hope that everyone has a great new day!
Always,
Sarah
STRESS
Thursday, 19. May 2005, 10:20:39
I am having a moment......so I had to write. I don't know how I am going to make it without breaking down.
I am now without a job and looking for one. My husband is stressed because of the bills.
I pray that things work out. I put it in God's hands.
Sarah
In reply to Eve......
Monday, 23. May 2005, 03:19:24
I do work for a travel company.....it is only the owner and his wife and my husband and me that work there. He is not making enough money to pay my husband and I both and to live on for his self, so that is why he has laid me off.
Now, I only work one day a week for cash. It is only on Saturday, one of the busier days of the week. I plan on finding something else because I can't sit and wait for money to come flying in the window. (even thought that would be nice!)
Thanks for all the comments!
Sarah
wowowowow
Thursday, 26. May 2005, 07:15:33
Well, I am not really looking for a job right now. (As if having for kids and a home to take care of are not a job enough!!!) hahhahaha!!!
Wow, maybe I am loosing it! HEHEH
Maybe not being so busy is making me crazy,,,,what was that?
Just kidding everyone.
So yeah, I looked in the paper for a job. I looked at the on line job site for my city for a job. Maybe I am way too picky. About the job offer that my husband and I received,
that we did not get, an insider at the company told the boss that they have a bigger offer for us....whether I believe that or not....well, I am not sure.
We will see what happens. It would be so great! But I am not putting my faith in what one person says. I will only trust in GOD to fulfill my needs according to his riches and glories. Amen.
More later,
Sarah
summer has begun
Wednesday, 1. June 2005, 02:02:02
Well, the kids are with me now and we are having a good start to the summer. I will know how it is really going in about 2 weeks. That is when the boredom of the kids starts in. I am not sure what they will be bored for, but I am sure it will happen soon. I really sort of like being home with the kids. It is not a strange and new concept for me, but I did miss it after working for the time that I have.
Of coarse, bills have to be paid so eventually I am going to have to start looking for a JOB. That is ok, I like the concept of having extra money to spend.
Right now, I will enjoy taking the kids to the park and the duck pond and the zoo. Also playing in the water and planting flowers in the yard. I love it when they help me with yard work. We have many flowering bushes and things that have to be pruned so that will also keep us busy.
Today is my brother's birthday. He is 31. I know, that is not old. But when you think that it seemed like yesterday that he was 15, it does seem old. I will be 30 this year. I don't know what 30 feels like, but I feel pretty good. I do notice I have more patients as the years add to me. That is a very good thing, self control (which I have always had trouble with) is coming easier now as well.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER, I LOVE YOU!!!!!
I have to admit something
Thursday, 2. June 2005, 04:01:16
I am a literati addict! I don't know what my deal is but I just love it! It is a game on Yahoo. Sort of like scrabble. Anyway, just wanted to let you know. For some reason, My youngest daughter is being a total brat today. Usually she is easy going and friendly and the most playful of the bunch, but not today.
me-"no thanks"
girl-"would you like to try our new...bla bla bla...?"
me "No, thanks, coffee black."
girl "No cream or sugar?"
me "I am sure, no."
Then I get to the window.
girl "That will be $1.19" (in her cheery McD's voice)
I give her 2 one dollar bills. She hands the change to me.
girl "Are you SURE you don't want cream or sugar?"
I thought about it (because I was starting to think that maybe I did need the cream or sugar!)
"No, thanks." And smiled when I thought of the calories that I just avoided.
A Title ..........ummm how about "About Rugrats"
Thursday, 23. June 2005, 04:22:06
I hear a lot during the day, a sound that is emitted from the
television. It is the sound of happy twinkling music from the
soundtrack of the game "Rugrats" brought to my ears by
the well known and beloved "PLAY STATION 2"!!!!!!!!
Ohh, my head, it is hurting from the sound of the music...it is
too happy, too joyful, too sunny. Does it convert my kids to
a sunny and joyful place???? NOT!
I WANT MY MONEY BACK!! I bought the game in hopes that
the kids would also be happy and kind to one another......Ohh yes,
I forgotten about sweet little "Angelica" She is not nice to the
babies on the "Rugrats". All day I long I hear little Angelica singing
(from the game) "I am the queennnnnnnnn,
More later,
Sarah
fourth of July
Sunday, 3. July 2005, 11:37:17
I had a really great fourth of July BBQ today at my house. The weather was really hot so we stayed mainly inside. But, I did decorate my back patio with paper lanterns and a wonderful red table cloth for the patio furniture. The lanterns were white and blue. I had red, white and blue candles placed all around the house and outside on the table.
My sister who has a 4 month old, brought over a pregnancy test and gave us the news that she was pregnant again! My mother had to hold onto the counter to stop from fainting.
Speaking of pregnancy....my younger brother and sister and law are due any day now with a new baby boy, and my older brother and sister in law are due in Dec. Also, my aunt and uncle are expecting. Babies, babies everywhere!
I am happy for all of the new life. And thank God for each and everyone of them. I pray that they are all healthy and strong.
I had a wonderful time with my family and wished more were there with us. Hopefully soon we can all get together.
BTW sorry my posts are so boring and stupid.......Someone told me that they had been reading my post and ask me if I was bored or something to that nature. Yes, it did hurt my feelings.
hey everyone
Thursday, 7. July 2005, 16:44:04
I am at a friend's house right now. My computer crashed and good thing because I really did not have anything interesting to say anyway!! LoL. I am sad for what happend in London yesterday and I hope that the friends that I have online are all ok. I don't know them in person but whould be sick to death if anything happend to them.
Thanks Eve and Kay and Katie for remembering me and telling me that you enjoy my post. I am so glad that you all enjoy it. I do miss getting on here and blogging everyday....what am I going to do?????
I found myself writing in my "real paper diary" yesterday but it did not feel as good as writing here. LOL. I just relish hearing from my friends that I love.
Well, as soon as I get the computer situation fixed I will write more. Love you guys and I wanted to say
CONGRATS TO MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFE ON THE NEW BABY BOY SIMON.
That is it for now...thanks guys and God bless each and everyone of you.
Sarah
Helloooooooooo
Friday, 5. August 2005, 03:52:48
I have not had time to write in so long. Yes, my computer is fine now. But that is not the point. I have been extremely busy with the kids and my daughter and I were dealt a blow that we were not expecting.
On Saturday, the 29, 2 girls that were on My Oldest daughter's volleyball team and in her class during the school year were killed in a small plane crash. Also one of the girl's grandfather was killed (he was the pilot of the plane) and the mother of one of the girls was injured. We are all shocked that she was the only survivor of the accident. Here is a link to the story.
So we tried to go to the funeral that was held for the grandfather and the little girl Jessie Harris but it was so crowed there was standing room only at the Catholic church that it was held at. We did get to listen to the speakers via the intercom system in the church. Thank God. Anyway I just wanted to post about that and I will start writing more again.
Sarah
No title
Monday, 8. August 2005, 02:15:44
Indian Story
Sprawling, expanding country side.
It can not be explained.
I felt the spirits of the Indians.
That lived in peace before me;
hovering around me
telling me the tale of peace and happiness.
No roads, only crunchy
gravel trails by the water.
Snapping paths worn through the dense trees.
Living among their prey was the Indians life.
No sound but the birds,
Or a prayer sent skyward to the heavens;
thanking the Sky Gods for rain
and sunshine and the wind air.
I could almost cry for the little Indian boy
sitting by the clear,clean lake
tossing rocks for play.
Only to grow up and have his land forcefully
taken away.
A whisper, near my ear
carried by the wind
reminded me,
"Don't be sad for times past, only a chosen
few can truly know the love we had
for out land. The mountains,the water,the flatlands,
it all. Just know it was loved and you can love
it as well."
I will help you original habitants of America,
also loving the land.
Taking care of it with my own hand.
(c) Sarah Bell 2005
Behavior, Please!
Friday, 12. August 2005, 01:20:14
Golden bracelets and rings, little lacy dresses.
Beautiful ringlets flowing throughout curly tresses.
Sitting with the dolls that are dressed as well as her.
Playing so quietly in her room, there is not a stir.
Her coming up to me to kiss me gingerly on the cheek,
Saying "I love you, mommy." It surely makes me weak.
Those are some of the things, I thought my girl would be.
How wrong I was and after 12 years now I really see!
That the dreams I had of my princess, have faded far away.
The nightmare that I tell you, is what has happened just today.
Fighting with the Taylor boys just down the street,
Is not something that I find sweet.
Worm guts and dirt under her nails,
for the baby bird that "Accidentally fell."
Running through the house tracking mud on my floor.
Really, is not something that I adore.
Gulping down her milk, eating fast what I prepare.
Please honey! Sip your milk, get the food out of your hair!
She broke a window today with a bat and ball,
This is not good behavior, at all! at all!
Ok, I have to realize that the princess that I dreamed,
Is now a vivid, active girl full of magic as it seems.
Doing all the things that any boy can do and more.
Nothing in this world will hold her, it's all open doors.
Special girl, knowing you may never like the look of gold.
Sitting with dolls, may be to you "Just plain old!"
Having clean hair and nails, is not high on your list.
Instead you settle to take a walk through the morning mist.
Your interest lies in nature, animals, lively things.
I find that so intriguing, you are a wonderful being!
Come to think, you kind of remind me of myself,
I would also leave the dolls to sit upon the shelf.
So take hold, the world is at your fingertips.
And don't forget it's ok to gulp instead of taking sips.
I love you girls.
(c) Sarah Bell
Whoooo Hoooo
Tuesday, 30. August 2005, 08:12:03
I am excited to report that I am going to start working. I will not say what or where, lol, but I am going to be working. In the spring I will start school at a local college here. ummmm what else do I say? I don't know.....UMM the kids are good, everything is fine right now.
More later,
Sarah
Where have you gone, Lord?
Tuesday, 6. September 2005, 12:20:15
I am wondering where is my God in this time of 911, Hurricane Katrina, the war in Iraq.
I watched an episode of Oprah (a talk show host in the US) and I believe that her and her staff have told the story of what happened in N.O. better than any news program that I have seen so far. Seeing the dead and bloated bodies, seeing the people that are too old and sick be placed in a make shift morgue to die at the airport, seeing the African Americans of the US a top buildings and roof tops with hand painted signs of "HELP ME", seeing the young mothers with their listless children in their arms at the super dome, I AM SICK TO DEATH OF IT.
How can a COUNTRY that calls itself one of the most powerful in the world let this happen to it's own people???? Taking 5,6, and 7 days to reach people. The old drowning in the nursing homes!!!
How can you Mr. Bush, still keep your meetings around the country while the people that you have vowed to serve are dying right under your nose?? THEY are dying while you are alive with, alas, no one to answer to. Who are you going to answer to?
I knew something terrible would happen, I saw it in dreams and visions, I felt it in my spirit; but to see it happen and so close to me! I never really believed that I would see the day. I feel as if, the people of the US are being cleansed by fire, for whatever reason God has chosen. I know there is sin here, there, everywhere. I know....but, why? You have created us God, remember that we are weak.
Bush-how can you call yourself Christian, when so many innocent have died under your name.
This president has made me absolutely sick with all the news he has generated. At least with Clinton, a blow job is a natural thing. Letting the innocent die, NOT NATURAL!
Sarah
thinking* "A good title, a good title, think of a good title."
Thursday, 8. September 2005, 13:15:38
funny, kids
Anywhoooo, as some but not all know, I have 4 girls. Girls fight like cats and dogs, well worse, they fight like cats and cats....hehe. Here is one of the arguments....but you should have been here to fell the full effect.
After some talk about a video game called the "Sims"
A-who is 8 and M-who is 5
A-"Hey, I learned how to call the fire department."
M-"You called the police?"
A-"No, the fire department."
M-"You called the plantaalalea?" (this is how it sounded, a made up word)
A-"No, M, I didn't and stop."
M-"You called the (sounded like) leeemannn?"
A-"No!"
M-"You called the demon?"
A-"Daaaaaddddddd, did you hear what M said!?"
I don't know why I thought it was so funny, just hearing M say the word "demon" cracked me up because I have never heard her say that word before. And little MS GOODY 2 SHOES A, was in so much shock. UUUGGGGGG they fight so much and over EVERY AND ANYTHING! I think I am about to have a moment, so I will stop bitching now. The reason I don't write about a lot of other things is because I write about what is important to me. And first and foremost over my husband is my kids, (but we are extremely happy) whooo hooo!
Ummm, what else am I wanting to talk about? Nothing, Ok, I am going to look at other journals now to make some more friends hopefully.
Sarah
It is 9:35 and I am wired on a late coffee
Sunday, 11. September 2005, 14:59:24
hing, not
Hello, I am not sure why I did it but I did.....I drank a cup of coffee after 5 PM. I take that back, it was after 8PM. HAHA So now I am awake, mind you, 35 minutes and counting past my bed time. But who cares, right, I am here and I am posting and having a great time!
The kids are all in bed and sleeping away, soundly...wow, there is no sound in the house but for the play station in the living room that my husband is on. *sigh* as usual.....
But on to better subjects....To be honest, I have nothing on my mind right now. For once it is really blank. I am almost boring myself. I have things on my mind, but I am not sure that I want to share them all. I know a lot of my family read this and I don't want them to know EVERYTHING that I am thinking.
Coffee Coffee Coffee, what a wonderful thing........I love it.
More later, Sarah
I would not trade you guys for the world....Love you all
My New Friends From Far and Wide
Monday, 12. September 2005, 13:53:00
friends, poems
Where are they now--
Sitting in the garden-might be feeling fowl
Maybe he is pecking his beauty a good night
Maybe she is kissing her lover, there is no fight.
Are you having a sip of tea-but not with me?
Having a bite of bread? Where is your head?
I adore you and want you here--foresee--
We can have a bite of bread and taste the leaves of tea.
The Naked Truth...i am turning 30 this year
Tuesday, 13. September 2005, 13:28:18
I am turning 30 this year and the TV commercials have me worried that I am going to fall apart soon. I was thinking today, why do women care so much about what they look like? And, I have come to one conclusion....it must be for other women. The reason I believe this to be true is....well, men could care less. I find that my husband does care to a certain extent, but then again, he is not picky. (Thank God)
I was in the bathroom washing off the little make-up that I had on today with my "Clean and Clear Morning Burst Facial Cleanser with 'bursting beads' " and then proceed to do my weekly facial scrub with the "Clean and Clear Facial Scrub with 'bursting beads' that gently exfoliates skin with vitamin C & Ginseng" After that I desided to use my "Planet Spa dead sea mineral facial mud mask" Or in french (I think) Masque a la boue pour le visage
.......Ummmm, I guess they think that makes you feel a little more exotic or something to put a foreign language on there. HAHA...After the mask that was really grey and did feel like MUD, I put on my NIGHT TIME moisture cream, "Pond's time rewind, overnight wrinkle repair cream with alpha hydroxy & dermal-recovery complex"
Now, see what us women go through???? I hope you men are happy. I mean, this is pure hell! But, I have to look good....for, ummm I think my husband, or is it the women of the world?? OHHH I don't know! Anyway, I went through so much to get my face clean that I decided to take some pictures of it.
Always, Sarah
This Weekend
Monday, 19. September 2005, 08:22:37
family, friends
I am really not in the mood to write but I had to jot down the wonderful day that I had with my family on Sunday. My mother has moved into a new house (one street over from her other one) lol, and I asked her and her husband to stop by to eat lunch. Also there-M and his wife, (brother) C, and Meg and Randy and all the kids, wow! But we had a really wonderful lunch of roast and potatoes and salad....and great conversation. We were just missing my other brother and his wife and child. That made me sad because they live 3 hours away and it is hard for them to get up here with the new baby. I plan on having a visit with them soon. I MISS YOU GUYS!!!
Anyway, that was about it, I worked on Sat, and today the kids are in school. My sister M, (that is stuck to me like glue even though she has a new husband and baby) came over today. I say that because she comes over a lot and will just sit and ask me "What are we doing now?" It is sort of funny...but I am not kidding she was stuck to my side the whole day. Her daughter is 8 months old and M is pregnant again -3 months- She is young, but healthy so I know she will do just fine.
My best friend of 15 or so years is also moving today and tomorrow. She is the one that is single with 3 kids. She has a really great job and can afford to take care of her kids, pay full rent and all of the extra's in life. I am really proud of her hard working. She has 2 guys that are trying to date her and sadly, they are both married! LOL! So, she is sort of angry that no single guys are perusing her. I tell her to stay away from the married men and keep looking for a single man! I really appreciate it when she listens to me because I don't want her to get hurt. So far, she has told one to go away and one is still chasing her. Poorrr girl! K wants me to come and help her move tonight, I am not sure if I am in that sort of mood. We will see. More later,
Sarah
Round Belly, the Beginning of Life is so Wonderful..........
Friday, 4. November 2005, 05:27:33
My beautiful sister came over yesterday and I didn't think before to chart the progress of her pregnancy on film, but began only yesterday. She is now five months along and the baby is doing great. I can feel the baby moving in her belly; low and frequent thumps felt through her abdomen made my heart flutter and skip with joy.
My older brother (with baby Gab) called me yesterday to sort of vent about the problems of dealing with a new baby. He felt like "the family" was not helping his wife enough with the baby and resting. I can not remember getting any help from anyone either. It is extremely difficult with a new baby during the first 6 weeks at least. I feel for them, but also I didn't take part in the baby making of the two. They are going to have to learn to live with little sleep and a messy house for a while. I will help as much as I can, but also I have a family to raise as well. (God forgive me if I am wrong.)
Drip, Drip
it falls
The soldier's
blood falls.
The faucet
of freedom
sprung a leak
bloody freedom!
God, can you
fix the noise
I can't stand
DRIP, DRIP noise!
The young
soldier falls
All you hear
is his blood fall
No title
Monday, 14. November 2005, 14:36:49
Was thinking about family and friends today. My brother and his girlfriend and my mother and sister are all joining me for lunch tomorrow and I could not be happier. It has been a while since we have got together.
I will be cooking. I desided that seafood chowder with a sour dough french bread and salad would be a good lunch for us. I only wish that more could join us (my other brother's).
More later,
Sarah
This is my adorable new nephew
Wondering
Tuesday, 22. November 2005, 07:28:19
I was wondering how people were just adding me as a friend, but when I looked at their pages, they didn't even have a blog or anything. Really not enough info for me to add them as a friend as well. I have fixed my settings to allow only friends to read my blog.
Also this morning when I was leaving a bird was in my van. I had to open the trunk and all four of the doors to make sure it got out safely. It was so funny. Guess I won't be leaving my windows down again.
Right now I am downloading Christmas music to listen to over the holidays. To be honest, I am not overly happy about the holidays, but, It is just like I have to be happy. I hate having to force myself to be happy about things.
What makes me happy about it is having the family over and having a fire lit and talking about childhood. Oh well.
I know one thing. I have not heard from one of my brothers. I know he is busy, but dammit! Whatever, I don't want to talk about it now.
more later
The weirdest thing someone has sent me, but sweet.
Friday, 2. December 2005, 09:21:49
life, sarah
Ok, here it is.........
"i found u in my dream and sadanly i sow u are face in opera the must beutty face i seen in my life bleav my and i like if u van sent me a newo of u are photo letes one i will thnk full"
I swear that was in my in box. But, I will be nice and not say who sent it, lol. Anyway, I am excited to say that Sunday I am going out of town to visit my brother who I have not seen in a few months. It is so funny, it started to be only my mother and I going, and then my sister and her husband want to tag a long as well. I know, I am always complaining about my sis, I love her, but she is sort of a "tag-a-long." I asked her why she was not taking her own car and she said because GAS COST TOO MUCH! LOL! Exactly, sis!
But, the important thing is for us to be together.....that is what matters. The little 80 in gas is not going to kill me, trust.
Yesterday I went shopping, I got some dark denim jeans that I have wanted for a while, ummm, I did some Christmas shopping and also got myself a shirt and sweater....and a poncho and, ohh yeah, another pair of pants. All in all I did pretty good considering. The reason I am saying this is because I never shop for myself, I am always getting for everyone else. I am proud that I thought of myself.
Besides that, life is going swell. I only wish that I could be more honest here. I would love to tell of all the things that are REALLY going on, lol. I am not as brave as some are to let down all of their thoughts for the world to see. AWWWW just thinking about it scares the crap outta me. BTW< the next post is going to be about dreams. Please read it and tell me what you think. Well, I have to get kids now.
Sarah
My Dreams............
Friday, 2. December 2005, 13:27:26
dreams, weird
FIRST DREAM
I had a dream the other night that I was in a big city and there where lights and sounds, tall buildings, people running, chaos every where. The look of desperation on the faces of the men and women was going straight into my soul and stabbing me in the heart. I was wondering to myself, "What are they running from?" I looked to the north and noticed a tall and sturdy building groan and open from the middle as if was being swallowed in chunks by the earth its self. The ground below me was opening and splitting and growling and talking trying to take me and all the humans around me down to the depths of the hot lava middle that was starting to creep upward toward us. They sky was dark and the earth was glowing from the heat of the fire below us, under the dirt that we once trusted, it was now trying to kill us, eat us alive, feed itself with the passion of a starving lion.
When the earth talks and begins to move, there is nothing that you can do to save yourself. Run like hell and try to hide from the impending death that you are going to experience, but ultimately I felt as if we were all going to die from this natural disaster.
SECOND DREAM
In a church is where you are supposed to feel the safest, to feel as if nothing could hurt you under the protection of God and all the saints that surround you. The church is your safe haven and your refuge in a time that you feel the most vulnerable and weak. You would never imagine the church to hand you a knife and ask you to cut your pinkie finger off, but that is just what happened to me in this dream. There was a full church in a wooded area of some town, I am not quite sure. The women had on dresses and the men suited nicely up as if we were going to have a normal service and then go home and have our roasted chicken and green beans. Something was going strangely wrong. A woman took me by the arm and asked me to come out side of the sanctuary. I could then feel many eyes on me as the woman with the long hair and long dress handed me a dagger type knife and told me to do what I was supposed to do. No one told me to cut off my pinkie but instinctively I knew to do it. I cut a perimeter cut around the skin and the burning that followed made me sick to my stomach. There was something driving me. To "cut" this dream short, I ended up not doing it and stood up for myself against those who were asking me to do it.
Anywhoooo-What do you think about those dreams? I have many dreams, but some are more vivid than others! Some may not believe me, but I have dreamed of disasters and woke to the news to see my dreams have come true. I don't know, may be hard to believe........but that is just me.
Thanks all for reading,
Sarah
More about Dreams
Monday, 5. December 2005, 06:20:44
There are many dreams that I have but that does not mean that I think my dreams are going to happen or effect my life when I am awake. When I wrote about my dreams, I was only writing the feelings that I was having during the dream. Those are not waking feeling. I don't know, I think some are confused about what is real and what is not! Just wanted everyone to know that the dreams are only that DREAMS!
Thanks,
Sarah
Last Night
Tuesday, 6. December 2005, 16:37:14
Omg i should have not stayed up so late
I was at an apartment with 4 other girls.....they were all together! I felt so out of place, the only straight girl in the bunch. I almost worried that something was wrong with me, that maybe I should have a girlfriend as well. BUT honestly, I have no interest in that *even though the thought has hit me once or twice or three times////lol////
Her girlfriend (my best friends girlfriend) was tall and blond and very boyish.......I told my friend that if she likes boyish girls, then why don't she just date a BOY! Durrrrrrr! I could not live without having a man in my life.....I hate to say that...but!!
Right now I am absolutely freezing....I have the heater on and we have a great house that keeps all the heat in, but it feels as if the cold weather outside makes itself at home if you want it or not, especially in your hands and feet....and nose.
I DON'T KNOW WHY!
And, further more, I don't want to spend a fortune on the gas bill for the house!
I knew that I should have bought more wood for the fire place. It is a real bitch sometimes to keep the fire going.......but it is so nice to cozy up to AS I am sure that many of you know.
More about my friends "girlfriends"
They are all so pretty, but swear that they hate men. They don't know why a woman would date a man. And I feel the same about them! Who in the hell would really want to be around a woman that much??? I can barely handle my own womanly problems......then to have another one there all the time to deal with as well???? I don't think so! I don't know how men do it sometimes. FPRIVATE "TYPE=PICT;ALT=
"
OK, that is all for now.
I noticed that someone had the same entry as mine so I had to change it! LOL
Sunday, 11. December 2005, 10:45:38
I am so proud of myself, I got so much done today, mostly cleaning out the girl's room's and rearranging the drawers, closets and books and toys. Wow, that is really a big job. Then I went out side to the shed and started to go through all of the older toys and I found, I know, at least 3 huge bags of stuffed animals that I put out there before to clear the rooms of clutter. But, today I missed seeing all of the animals with all of their big innocent eyes staring at me out of the girl's rooms and all of the fluffy fur getting all over the place, lol.
Anyway, I found out last week that my oldest daughter was going to get ISS for talking so much in class. I could not believe this was coming from a daughter that started off as such a shy and clingy child. I was brain-storming on what to do about her behavior in class and to wards here teachers. Sometimes, her mind just wonders and she gets off of task so easily. I don't think that I would call it ADD, but maybe it is. I just want her to be successful in her school work and in life in general. I thought about moving her to a school that focused more on the individual talents of the child, but was waiting for the Christmas break to do that. I do think that she has more potential than what she is showing at the present moment. She was doing extremely well in her work before I moved her to this new school at the beginning of last year. I moved all of the girls so that they could be in one school together, but now I regret doing it for the failure of their school work. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!
They used to make straight A's now they are making B's at the most.
Well, I am going to cook dinner now. Later,
Sarah
I did it
Thursday, 15. December 2005, 08:52:25
christmas, cookies, food
Cookies for the girl's X-Mas party at school.
I actually made the cookies for the girl's classes today. There are too many to list, but I am going to anyway............
Peanut butter with chocolate chips in the middle,
Sugar cookies (grandma's recipe with cream of tarter) I have never made before today,
Regular sugar cookies~made so the girls can cut out with various cookies cutters.
Peanut butter balls (very good! the ingredients has honey, peanut butter and rice crispies coated in coconut)
Chocolate cookies~you would have to see to believe how beautiful they came out. (dipped in powered sugar)
And last but not lease, Chocolate Chip! Whooohoooo! I hope the girl's friends love them.
Sarah
today's journal
Friday, 24. December 2004, 03:35:26
Well, this is my first post. I hope that I get some kind of response. ( If it is nice )
I am actully off work today, which is nice because I have been working everyday for 2 weeks. Guess it is the holidays... I desided to use Opera because I heard that internet explorer allows
too many bugs to get into your computer..even if you have firewall and virus protection. I really like this Opera so far. I am home with the kids and they are already bored. I think they are looking forward to opening up their christmas presents soon. Of coarse I was when I was a child.
I remember, it was the year I was 10 years old. I peeked into my gift that I had recieved from my Grandmother and was really excited to see that it was a beautiful doll that strangely resembled me so much. Feeling sorry for the doll being alone and rapped up in the gift, I would carefull unwrap one end of the gift and lift the doll out of the box when the parent's were gone. I would take her into my room and let her sit with me untill I was forced to put her back into her prision of the box for another day.
She was very special to me
That is just a memory that I love. I hope that the kids love and cheris something in their life the way that I did. I really think that it teaches you to love something and take care of it. Now a days it seems that everything moves so quickly and the toys break so easily. The kids really don't appreciate things the way they should.
I just want to say MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!
By the way...this is my four girls today..... hahah I find that hilarious!! God Bless everyone who is in need of it today. Sarah
Tuesday, 11. January 2005, 01:12:32
I am happy...I have my bills paid and feel optimistic about the future..for now. I don't know how I can really feel so happy for the simple fact that the world seems to be going to hell in a handbasket, how can I say that? Wow! That is not optimistic! What am I thinking...anyway back to being happy...My kids are about to get up for school and I have to do everything for them because I am too picky of a mother. Being only 29 I am happy to say that I want them to look a little bit fashionable for the day at school. I feel that if they don't look and act good that is a direct reflection on me. Hearing I should not feel that way does not help at all. Still, every morning I wake them up, pick out the clothes, fix the hair of all 4 girls and make sure that they have their back packs in order, papers signed and jackets on ( and by the way shoes, as well.) Yes one has left the house with only one shoe on ....but didn't make it far. It feels good to be able to write and share my life in this journal. Honostly, I could care less who reads it.
When I was a teenager I kept journals and tried desperately to hide them, with no avail...the parents always found them and thought that I was screwing someone I had a crush on or something to that matter. I know, sounds weird but is true. I would write with so much passion about the one I loved that you would have thought it was a romance novel. wow, amazing and I can not actully believe that I has said it now.....more later. I like smiley.....is cute .....bye all!
Something else, I read one journal post that said something to the fact that they would not put anything personal in here because this is public format.....EXACTLY!! If it is not juicy then I don't think you will get many readers! (or replies) Ok, I will shut up now.
I am so excited....
Tuesday, 11. January 2005, 03:36:22
My younger sister delivered her baby girl yesterday ...the baby was 8lbs and 7 ounces. What a little cute tubby baby!! I am proud of my sister because she did so well...never cried, kept concentrating to push the baby out and did so in like 20 minutes which is really good for a first baby.
She wanted her husband and our mother and me to be in the delievery room with her. The rest of the family was a little jealous that we were the ones that she wanted in there but it is not like I am going to tell her no or something. Of coarse I wanted to see the baby born. I am 12 years older than my sister and I did baby her alot and try to be a second mother to her as young girls do to baby's growing up. So it was really special for me to see the baby coming into this world. WOW!!! Another girl in the family. I am wondering where the baby boys are!!
I was sort of upset about one thing....I had like 15 good minutes of the baby on my DV mini recorder and when I took it out to show the other family I mistakenly recorded over some part of it. OHHH WEEELLL....I can catch hours of the baby later. I am shopping for a new car at the moment...actully a new van because I have the girls and their friends to tote around. So anyway...I wish myself luck!! Later....
Thursday
Thursday, 13. January 2005, 15:02:06
I am not going to write something that I think someone would love to read, I am going to write what is on my mind.
I know I have said that many times already so here I go. Today I had to work long hours so here I sit and feeling relieved to be able to come online and journal. I am tired but the kids won't go to sleep for some reason tonight. They are all wired up and I can't, for the life of me, figure out why. R takes forever to do her homework and it is really starting to bother me a bit. Seems like she just does not want to do it.
Well, guess I will go and check email now.
sad day
Monday, 17. January 2005, 05:41:52
Well, I am really sad right now. We had a family pet named Tusk. He has been with us for like 3 years and he was mostly an outside pet. A beautiful grey and white furry male cat. I noticed that he was sleeping a lot more lately and that he was really unresponsive to me. I was not really sure if it was the cold weather or what....so I just kept a close eye on him. Today the girls are out of school for the Martin L. King holiday and they were searching outside and around the house for the cat. For some reason they were out by my window and there in the evergreen bush laid Tusk. They poked him with a stick and noticed that he was not moving at all.
Needless to say he had passed. Trying to be tough I asked my husband if we should bury Tusk in the backyard ....when we stepped outside to get the cat we noticed that the animal control was next door in front of our neighbor's house. We also noticed that he had a live and very upset cat that she was taking out to her animal control truck. After she took our cat from the bushes, she told us that the cat next door was sick as well. So, I don't know what the deal is right now. Maybe some virus is going around.
I am trying to be strong but I did cry. Tusk was a wonderful pet and now that I know he isn't suffering it makes me feel a little better. Explaining to the kids is a whole different ball game. Guess I will go for now. Sarah
comparing
Thursday, 20. January 2005, 02:27:05
Today is a new day. Thank God that he gives us a fresh start every morning when the sun rises.
I have not been online in a few days so I started early this morning to come on and read the post and share some thoughts of my own. But now that I am here, the emotions of wanting to share my life are gone. Compared to some of the post writen on here, mine are quite boring and repetative. Sorry to whoever chooses to read.
Just to share something personal with the world...I love to write poems, short stories and things of the like. In the future sharing them with you will be a pleasure.
good evening
Thursday, 3. March 2005, 15:21:03
I was reading back of some of my earlier post and I think something came to me that is maybe the most enlightening thing that has come to my mind recently. (well maybe not the MOST enlightening, but comes a close first) ha-ha....anyway, I think I know why we journal and write down our personal life here, or any blog site for that matter, it is because we want to be part of something while maintaining our own identity...is that it???
I really do think that is it. We want people to reply to us..to say.."yes, I hear you and understand you and what you are going through" But then again we want to feel like this is a private domain, which of coarse, it is not.
Well, that is just what I think and thought that now was a good time to say it. I do read alot of journals and don't reply to each one....I need to do that more so that some will know that they are being heard, I am going to do that now. more later, Sarah
I am not going to whine a bit, But I damn sure want to.
I want to whine about nosy family, I want to whine about not being supported by family, I WANT TO WHINE!
This is my journal....I can whine!
But look, I am not giving details, ok?
The only way I can understand what is going on is to not think about it. To be selfish and live my everyday life like I have been doing and wonder how some people can be so totally ignorant to the point that I wonder if they wonder why they are so stupid.
It has to be true. I am venting by the way. I am
Thursday the 10th of March
Thursday, 10. March 2005, 03:21:48
My Mood.........
I have an older brother who is mentally ill and has brain damage due to an accident he had when he was a child. He is in his early 30's and still struggling with a place to live and feel safe. He has been in and out of the mental hospital since he was 18 years old. Which, anyone who knows about schizophrenia, knows that it shows in boys when they are going through puberty. So, we noticed signs while he was in high school that something was definitely wrong. He was a loner and had trouble maintaining relationships.
Being picked on did not help.
When I was a child he was a protector to me. Quite spoken and always had good ideas for play. When he was about 10 years old we lived in North Carolina and went to a small church called Lamb's Chapel. It was set off in the woods in a quiet community where all the women wore skirts and had tuns of kids everywhere. This group of people were extremely religious but I did not learn from them that being religious is good. I recall a long rode that sloped down hill and was paved in gravel, shaded by the dense trees. My brother, let's call him "Joe", was on a 3 wheel bike. The old, rusty petal pusher was not ready for the hell that Joe was going to put it through. I am guessing he was speeding down the hill, just as any boy at the age of 10 would do. The bike gained more and more momentum and not being in working order was violently stopped by a tree trunk just off the side of the road.
Joe was on the bike when it finally stopped and his face and head were smashed into the tree with a force, his mouth was completely laid open to the extent that he had to drink from a straw for several weeks until it healed. Due to the lack of good medical care, I don't think he was properly taken care of.
I just emailed my mother for the story and this is what she sent me.
"First of all, what awsome stationary!
Ok, he was taken to the emergency room in Charlotte. It’s an interesting story because mom was visiting and we had dropped off "Joe and "Daniel" at Lambs Chapel for a boy’s day with the older men. They all were playing in the woods, walking on a rope bridge, and playing camping stuff. They were supposed to be together all the time but "Joe" decided he wanted to ride a very broken down 3 wheel bicycle. He didn’t know the front handle bar that connects to the wheel was broken. He must have walked it to the dirt and gravel hill or maybe rode it there (I wonder if he remembers?) and barreled down the very steep hill into a wooded area of the farm. On the way down (!!!) he lost control of the steering and flew into a very large tree at the foot of the hill on the left of the gravel road. The way I picture it is when the front wheel hit the tree it jacked him face first into the tree! His mouth must have hit first...his bottom lip was split all the way through to below his bottom lip line. No teeth were knocked out but his gums and tongue were torn up like ground meat.
After we dropped the boys off, mom and I went to the grocery store for about 30 minutes and then to a fabric store. After about 15 minutes in the fabric store, I felt a strong urge to call the Chapel and check on the boys. I called from the store phone and immediately found out about the accident. He was already at the emergency room so we went straight there. He was coming out of surgery on his lip and gums when we arrived. He was awake and I rushed to the gurney. When he saw me he tried to smile. I nearly lost it but held back the tears. Even then he was so compassionate for me and told me he would be alright. I tear up just recalling it!"
Ok that is the story she sent me. I changed the names of coarse.
So anyway, I am sad about the way that they treat the mentally ill here in the US. I think that they have come a long way in progress but clearly things need to change.
More on this later. I really wonder why I am so sensitive to sound that the girls make.
" WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY???!!! One says.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!"
"LALALALA WHATEVER LALA YELLING JUMBLED WORDS..."
That is what I hear everyday.
If I would have known kids were so much fun I would have had 20.
Sarah
A New Day, thank God
Thursday, 17. March 2005, 01:45:49
Ok, today is new. I went shopping last night at Wal-Mart. Ohhh we love wal-mart here. But I have to say the quality of the items there are really not up to par. For reasons I will not say, but anyone who has shopped there will know what I am talking about.
So besides that I shop there because I love the prices of things. I just love wal-mart!!!
Like shopping in a huge, big ole' dollar store!
I took my oldest daughter with me and she is 10. She talked and talked until I had to tell her to please be quiet and let me shop. She just ignored me and kept talking. I got milk and cereal for the kids, bread, fruit, mac and cheese, popcorn, fruit and veggies,
then I went to the other side of the walmart and got all the other things like laundry soap, dish soap, cat food, a new broom, paper towels, and C (my hubby) ask me to get the movie "The Incredibles"
After we were finished with wal mart I made a swing by the "little ceascar's pizza" and picked up the girls some pizza. By now it was about 9 o'clock pm.
R and I went home and the C helped me put the things up and then we gave the girls pizza
Sarah
that i need to survive the day?
i have many things to do
but as of now i want to just play.
i feel the list is never ending
get a grip! stop pretending!
you have to do this girl,
you have to do that.
drive 30 times per week,
and try not to get fat.
take care of the kids,
get them to school on time.
then sit at the computer,
try to rhyme.
daydream of ways to make money,
to survive with some pay.
wait a minute, stop! that
is just half of my day.
the other half i'm working,
outside the home.
to help pay for all the silly
nothings that I own.
things that make my life "easier"
or do they now?
when i am running like a chicken,
but feeling like a cow!
Work
Saturday, 16. April 2005, 04:51:46
Just wanted to comment really quick on this
interesting man that came into work today.
I work in the travel industry and we get many
different and interesting people in there.
He was from Iran and he was speaking to
myself and my coworker about many things that
I found so interesting that I could write a
book on them. Being an older man, he was
full of stories and facts. We listened
intently as he told of being persecuted in
his country for many years. He came to the
US as a refugee (religious asylum). I was
actually happy to hear of his story that he
told of bringing his family here, but sad to
know what is really going on overseas.
I don't have time to go into depth, but just
wanted to say that I fully enjoyed the visit
with this older gentleman.
Sarah
about the man from Iran
Sunday, 17. April 2005, 04:23:51
The man's name is Mohamed. When I had to ask his name from him, he stated his name and I had to request the spelling of his last name from him. He looked at me with his big, brown eyes and said "My name has brought me many troubles and hardships."
"Why is that?" I asked, obviously knowing the answer.
"Because my name has been cursed by the Prophet Mohamed."
I said in return to the man's comment, "I am not prejudice, so I can not relate to what you are saying."
His eyes lit up a little bit but his whole face has a natural sad look to it. Lips slightly turned down and eyes as well, wrinkled from age and worry. Mohamed then started to tell me that he is not a Muslim. He has never wanted to be Muslim and that is the reason that he originally fled his country. The man's voice was smooth and comforting. Something in his voice had a naturally flowing quality to it that made you want to hear his stories and more of what he had to say.
The sincerity in his voice quieted the room and time seemed to stand still as he related the sadness that he felt for the people of the middle east.
He said, "During the Iran Iraq war in the 80's, the US was funneling aid to each side, letting us fight until we killed each other. And you call that 'Christianity'? You call that 'freedom'????"
I thought to myself, Oh my God, we have a veteran of the middle eastern war standing here sharing his story freely with us. I had a feeling of privilege.
Mohamed continued, "I wish that I was not educated, I wish that I was a DAMN, STUPID man. If I was stupid then I would not know the real reason that the US is over in the middle east." He then went on to say many things that I don't want to repeat in here, out of respect for him.
Watching him leave I tried to take a mental note of his clothes and stature. He had on all beige, jacket, shirt and pants even a suede beige hat. He was bent forward from old age and carried a cane. Before he walked out to leave he turned and looked at me with and said with the deepest of sincerity, "Sarah! I will remember you! And you remember me! May God bless you and your family and may you have peace forever."
And out the door he shuffled. When he was gone I walked around the counter and found a paper on the floor folded neatly. I opened it out of pure curiosity and this is what it read.
"O Thou kind Lord! Thou hast created all humanity from the same stock. Thou hast decreed that all shall belong to the same household. In Thy Holy Presence they are all Thy servants, and all mankind are sheltered beneath Thy Tabernacle; all have gathered together at Thy Table of Bounty; all are illumined through the light of Thy Providence.
O God! Thou art kind to all, Thou has provided for all, dost shelter all, conferrest life upon all. Thou hast endowed each and all with talents and faculties, and all are submerged in the Ocean of Thy Mercy.
O Thou kind Lord! Unite all. Let the religions agree and make the nations one, so that they may see each other as one family and the whole earth as one home. May they all live together in perfect harmony.
O God! Raise aloft the banner of the oneness of mankind.
O God! Establish the Most Great Peace.
Cement Thou, O God, the hearts together.
O Thou kind Father, God! Gladden our hearts through the fragrance of Thy love. Brighten our eyes through the Light of Thy Guidance. Delight our ears with the melody of Thy Word, and shelter us all in the Stronghold of Thy Providence.
Thou art the Mighty and Powerful, Thou art the Forgiving and Thou art the One Who overlooketh the shortcomings of all mankind.
Baha'i prayer"
I will remember you old man and I pray also that God blesses you and your family until the end of time.
From the poem "Made you Mine America"
travelling across your vast emptiness
you can't turn me down
I gave you my youth
walking and driving Colfax nights long
I came with hate
but now
I love you
America
-Ali Zarren
Hello world
Thursday, 21. April 2005, 08:14:21
how is everyone doing?
I hope good. Well, I don't really
have anything interesting to say
so leave me a message please to let
me know someone is out there.
Sarah
Thanks to all............
Friday, 22. April 2005, 03:16:07
Just wanted to say thanks for the comments...I really enjoy each and everyone of them and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Lol !! Noo, really I mean it.
I hope that everyone has a good weekend and takes it easy. Enjoy each day as it comes.
Wish that I had something more interesting to say. Guess I will put up an picture I enjoy instead.
"
OMy this is cute.
Sarah
hello all
Tuesday, 26. April 2005, 10:24:38
Well, sadly I am not feeling good today. I don't know.........there was something....some bug going around. I hope that everyone is fine and well.
As for me.....I am going to rest now.
Love,
Sarah
Ok
Friday, 29. April 2005, 14:27:55
I am really worried today. I mean, my emotions are going crazy. At work, there is an older man...I wish I could just say what he does at my job...but let's say ... he is not there all day and I work in transportation (for the time being)
Ohhh I am really pissed right now...ok...well, he always has some weird comment to make to me. Some days it is about my toenail polish, some days it is about my hair or make up or WHATEVER he chooses to talk about. Well, today he decided to tell me one of his "new" and "wonderful" jokes (made up from his heart) yeah freakin' right!
This is his joke
"HEY SARAH! Have you got anymore of those wet letters?"
ME~"What in the world are you talking about?"
THE JERK "You know...the ones from across the Rio Grande" (for all those that don't know that is a river that separates Texas and Mexico)
ME~"I still don't know what you are talking about. Guess that one is over my head."
THE JERK~"I was making fun of your ethnicity."
The most that prick knows of my ethnicity is that I am part Spanish.......well I also have American Indian, white and Italian as well. He has no freakin clue what he is talking about. And he said it in front of 3 other co-workers who are all men.
Let me tell you quickly, I work with all men. And all men are NOT created equal!
Anyway, I am just venting. He is nothing but a worm to me that I would love to step on.
Sarah
ohh yeahhhh
Saturday, 30. April 2005, 12:02:41
I am so terribly excited....he is going on vacation for 2 weeks So I will get a break. Thank God..
Sarah
No title
Sunday, 1. May 2005, 00:54:14
Today is Sunday. I am, for some reason, up early and feeling great. I suppose I am so excited to have a day off that I can not sleep late. I joined this group called multiply.com. I am not sure if I like it or not. Can not really get the hang of it and it takes forever for the pages to load, wonder what is wrong with it.
I was thinking that I would love to win the lottery and have endless money to spend. I really need some money. Not desperately, but in the way that I want to go splurge on some things. Shopping is a new hobby for me. Never loving it before, I now relish in finding all of the sales that I can and having the feeling of happiness when I save money! If anyone really knew me they would know that I hated going to the store before. Now I love it.
May sound shallow, but I am not! Really.
Another thing that I want to say is that, I have noticed here on Opera there seems to be faithful groups of people here. What really bothers me is that I gladly post on their journals and they do not return the favor to me. (some or most of them) As anyone can clearly see there are a few that I love.
Guess I am not as interesting as them. I would greatly appreciate some feedback. Ohhh well, guess that is the part of me that is unsure of myself.
Ok, well I will post later. Maybe Opera journal is not the place for me. I suppose I should be on some site where all the whiny mothers of bad ass kids are. YEA I could join in on their hatred of being a mother and whine about having to work and take care of kids and how the husband is a low life piece of shit that never wants to do a thing around the house! ohhh sounds like fun. NOT!
Hope you can read the humor that is given here.
Today is a great day
Wednesday, 4. May 2005, 06:06:38
I have no idea why it is a wonderful day but I am just feeling it right now....
To be honest I have a slight headache that won't go away and my poor cat is sick....BUT! I profess that today will be good. Oh I need prayer! LOL Well, My husband and I are getting along great in every area. I feel this is an accomplishment because we spent the first 7 years fighting. Now for the past 3 years we have been doing good. This is a secret....but...I really think that the "unlucky 7" will actually make us last longer being married. I hear of so many women that are so happy in the beginning and then fall out of love after 2 years or so! I SAY....Marry someone that really knows how to piss you off and push your buttons and then you will last longer..for the pure challenge of it! (That is if you like a challenge)
My friend Eve on here...she said that I should write for me..Well, I would love to but then it would be so damn juicy that it might be a crime. Maybe the Italian and Spanish in me has made me an extremely passionate person. Who knows.
I have had my nails done, they are long and a beautiful deep red color.....SOOOO SLUTTY! But I can't help but loving them. Each time I see my hands with the long red nails it makes me feel "taken care of." OHH I hope I don't loose some of my readers. Ok....when a woman has manicured hands...to me it shows that she cares about the details of her body. That is truly a good thing! Girls! Go get your nails done, please. It will make you feel better no matter what your age.
Love you guys and gals,
Sarah
BTW.......go and take this test!
know some women out there are very special mothers and I want you to know that you are great! Here is a poem that I wrote for my mother a few years ago.
For Mother
Often I wonder how could it be,
That someone could love me
So unconditionally.
The eyes that greeted me
On the day I was born,
Were the windows to a soul
sent from the Lord.
With a heart that would
Love me, from my head to
My feet.
And hands that would slave
so her children could eat.
Strong arms that would protect us,
when we were feeling weak.
Gentle lips that would kiss us
at night on the cheek.
Nothing can replace the
Beauty you bring….
And your spirit inside will
Forever sing.
© Sarah Bell 4/98
Sorry Kay
Sunday, 15. May 2005, 13:53:46
I was trying to post some pics on your journal and they really didn't come out like I thought that they would.
Feel free to destroy my journal if you want to!
I hope that they look better here.
Sarah
New Day
Tuesday, 17. May 2005, 14:59:49
http://www.orcca.on.ca/~elena/photos/Spain/Barcelona/Spain-2004%20003.JPGToday I was extremely busy cleaning the house. I decided to change the rooms around in the house (not such a great idea!)
So let me tell you.....here I was ..moving furniture that is so large that it should not be even made! And almost breaking my back in the process. Why did I choose to do it? Maybe because I have a cleaning bug in me that won't go away. I don't know!
My bedroom is now in the room with the 6x6 mirror in in..the computer in facing the mirror and now I am staring at myself..which is not a bad thing. I like to look at myself! LOL! I just get tickled saying it, I don't know why. The arrangement of the rooms makes me happy for now. Who knows when I will change it again.
I know there is a lot of drama in every family, but there feels like there is extra in my group. One saying this and another saying that and such and such and so on. I don't realize that is has gone too far until I feel anger swelling up in my bosom and wanting to hit the wall. I wish that we could just "all get along!"
I am not sure if family reads this but I want you guys to know that I don't say it to your face.....but I am sick of the drama! I love each and everyone of you to death and I don't want the fighting to go on.
Honestly, I don't see how MY siblings can disrespect MY mother to the extent that they do. I would love to slap a few of them in the face and say "WAKE UP.....You only have one life to live and one mother!"
Yes, I sound angry and I am! I try to do so much for my sister and when I hear her bad talking my mother it makes me so sad that I could just cry. My mother has always been the kindest, sweetest person and has had a little trouble being assertive, but she has done the best that she can do. It makes me cry thinking about how hard she has worked to raise the 6 of us and I know 3 of them that won't give her the time of day barley! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM? Someone who is there no matter what, no matter where I have been or where I am going, I have met you on here and have loved every bit of friendship and acceptance that you have given me.
I will start to write more. Good night, I am going to bed now and hope that everyone has a great new day!
Always,
Sarah
STRESS
Thursday, 19. May 2005, 10:20:39
I am having a moment......so I had to write. I don't know how I am going to make it without breaking down.
I am now without a job and looking for one. My husband is stressed because of the bills.
I pray that things work out. I put it in God's hands.
Sarah
In reply to Eve......
Monday, 23. May 2005, 03:19:24
I do work for a travel company.....it is only the owner and his wife and my husband and me that work there. He is not making enough money to pay my husband and I both and to live on for his self, so that is why he has laid me off.
Now, I only work one day a week for cash. It is only on Saturday, one of the busier days of the week. I plan on finding something else because I can't sit and wait for money to come flying in the window. (even thought that would be nice!)
Thanks for all the comments!
Sarah
wowowowow
Thursday, 26. May 2005, 07:15:33
Well, I am not really looking for a job right now. (As if having for kids and a home to take care of are not a job enough!!!) hahhahaha!!!
Wow, maybe I am loosing it! HEHEH
Maybe not being so busy is making me crazy,,,,what was that?
Just kidding everyone.
So yeah, I looked in the paper for a job. I looked at the on line job site for my city for a job. Maybe I am way too picky. About the job offer that my husband and I received,
that we did not get, an insider at the company told the boss that they have a bigger offer for us....whether I believe that or not....well, I am not sure.
We will see what happens. It would be so great! But I am not putting my faith in what one person says. I will only trust in GOD to fulfill my needs according to his riches and glories. Amen.
More later,
Sarah
summer has begun
Wednesday, 1. June 2005, 02:02:02
Well, the kids are with me now and we are having a good start to the summer. I will know how it is really going in about 2 weeks. That is when the boredom of the kids starts in. I am not sure what they will be bored for, but I am sure it will happen soon. I really sort of like being home with the kids. It is not a strange and new concept for me, but I did miss it after working for the time that I have.
Of coarse, bills have to be paid so eventually I am going to have to start looking for a JOB. That is ok, I like the concept of having extra money to spend.
Right now, I will enjoy taking the kids to the park and the duck pond and the zoo. Also playing in the water and planting flowers in the yard. I love it when they help me with yard work. We have many flowering bushes and things that have to be pruned so that will also keep us busy.
Today is my brother's birthday. He is 31. I know, that is not old. But when you think that it seemed like yesterday that he was 15, it does seem old. I will be 30 this year. I don't know what 30 feels like, but I feel pretty good. I do notice I have more patients as the years add to me. That is a very good thing, self control (which I have always had trouble with) is coming easier now as well.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER, I LOVE YOU!!!!!
I have to admit something
Thursday, 2. June 2005, 04:01:16
I am a literati addict! I don't know what my deal is but I just love it! It is a game on Yahoo. Sort of like scrabble. Anyway, just wanted to let you know. For some reason, My youngest daughter is being a total brat today. Usually she is easy going and friendly and the most playful of the bunch, but not today.
me-"no thanks"
girl-"would you like to try our new...bla bla bla...?"
me "No, thanks, coffee black."
girl "No cream or sugar?"
me "I am sure, no."
Then I get to the window.
girl "That will be $1.19" (in her cheery McD's voice)
I give her 2 one dollar bills. She hands the change to me.
girl "Are you SURE you don't want cream or sugar?"
I thought about it (because I was starting to think that maybe I did need the cream or sugar!)
"No, thanks." And smiled when I thought of the calories that I just avoided.
A Title ..........ummm how about "About Rugrats"
Thursday, 23. June 2005, 04:22:06
I hear a lot during the day, a sound that is emitted from the
television. It is the sound of happy twinkling music from the
soundtrack of the game "Rugrats" brought to my ears by
the well known and beloved "PLAY STATION 2"!!!!!!!!
Ohh, my head, it is hurting from the sound of the music...it is
too happy, too joyful, too sunny. Does it convert my kids to
a sunny and joyful place???? NOT!
I WANT MY MONEY BACK!! I bought the game in hopes that
the kids would also be happy and kind to one another......Ohh yes,
I forgotten about sweet little "Angelica" She is not nice to the
babies on the "Rugrats". All day I long I hear little Angelica singing
(from the game) "I am the queennnnnnnnn,
More later,
Sarah
fourth of July
Sunday, 3. July 2005, 11:37:17
I had a really great fourth of July BBQ today at my house. The weather was really hot so we stayed mainly inside. But, I did decorate my back patio with paper lanterns and a wonderful red table cloth for the patio furniture. The lanterns were white and blue. I had red, white and blue candles placed all around the house and outside on the table.
My sister who has a 4 month old, brought over a pregnancy test and gave us the news that she was pregnant again! My mother had to hold onto the counter to stop from fainting.
Speaking of pregnancy....my younger brother and sister and law are due any day now with a new baby boy, and my older brother and sister in law are due in Dec. Also, my aunt and uncle are expecting. Babies, babies everywhere!
I am happy for all of the new life. And thank God for each and everyone of them. I pray that they are all healthy and strong.
I had a wonderful time with my family and wished more were there with us. Hopefully soon we can all get together.
BTW sorry my posts are so boring and stupid.......Someone told me that they had been reading my post and ask me if I was bored or something to that nature. Yes, it did hurt my feelings.
hey everyone
Thursday, 7. July 2005, 16:44:04
I am at a friend's house right now. My computer crashed and good thing because I really did not have anything interesting to say anyway!! LoL. I am sad for what happend in London yesterday and I hope that the friends that I have online are all ok. I don't know them in person but whould be sick to death if anything happend to them.
Thanks Eve and Kay and Katie for remembering me and telling me that you enjoy my post. I am so glad that you all enjoy it. I do miss getting on here and blogging everyday....what am I going to do?????
I found myself writing in my "real paper diary" yesterday but it did not feel as good as writing here. LOL. I just relish hearing from my friends that I love.
Well, as soon as I get the computer situation fixed I will write more. Love you guys and I wanted to say
CONGRATS TO MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFE ON THE NEW BABY BOY SIMON.
That is it for now...thanks guys and God bless each and everyone of you.
Sarah
Helloooooooooo
Friday, 5. August 2005, 03:52:48
I have not had time to write in so long. Yes, my computer is fine now. But that is not the point. I have been extremely busy with the kids and my daughter and I were dealt a blow that we were not expecting.
On Saturday, the 29, 2 girls that were on My Oldest daughter's volleyball team and in her class during the school year were killed in a small plane crash. Also one of the girl's grandfather was killed (he was the pilot of the plane) and the mother of one of the girls was injured. We are all shocked that she was the only survivor of the accident. Here is a link to the story.
So we tried to go to the funeral that was held for the grandfather and the little girl Jessie Harris but it was so crowed there was standing room only at the Catholic church that it was held at. We did get to listen to the speakers via the intercom system in the church. Thank God. Anyway I just wanted to post about that and I will start writing more again.
Sarah
No title
Monday, 8. August 2005, 02:15:44
Indian Story
Sprawling, expanding country side.
It can not be explained.
I felt the spirits of the Indians.
That lived in peace before me;
hovering around me
telling me the tale of peace and happiness.
No roads, only crunchy
gravel trails by the water.
Snapping paths worn through the dense trees.
Living among their prey was the Indians life.
No sound but the birds,
Or a prayer sent skyward to the heavens;
thanking the Sky Gods for rain
and sunshine and the wind air.
I could almost cry for the little Indian boy
sitting by the clear,clean lake
tossing rocks for play.
Only to grow up and have his land forcefully
taken away.
A whisper, near my ear
carried by the wind
reminded me,
"Don't be sad for times past, only a chosen
few can truly know the love we had
for out land. The mountains,the water,the flatlands,
it all. Just know it was loved and you can love
it as well."
I will help you original habitants of America,
also loving the land.
Taking care of it with my own hand.
(c) Sarah Bell 2005
Behavior, Please!
Friday, 12. August 2005, 01:20:14
Golden bracelets and rings, little lacy dresses.
Beautiful ringlets flowing throughout curly tresses.
Sitting with the dolls that are dressed as well as her.
Playing so quietly in her room, there is not a stir.
Her coming up to me to kiss me gingerly on the cheek,
Saying "I love you, mommy." It surely makes me weak.
Those are some of the things, I thought my girl would be.
How wrong I was and after 12 years now I really see!
That the dreams I had of my princess, have faded far away.
The nightmare that I tell you, is what has happened just today.
Fighting with the Taylor boys just down the street,
Is not something that I find sweet.
Worm guts and dirt under her nails,
for the baby bird that "Accidentally fell."
Running through the house tracking mud on my floor.
Really, is not something that I adore.
Gulping down her milk, eating fast what I prepare.
Please honey! Sip your milk, get the food out of your hair!
She broke a window today with a bat and ball,
This is not good behavior, at all! at all!
Ok, I have to realize that the princess that I dreamed,
Is now a vivid, active girl full of magic as it seems.
Doing all the things that any boy can do and more.
Nothing in this world will hold her, it's all open doors.
Special girl, knowing you may never like the look of gold.
Sitting with dolls, may be to you "Just plain old!"
Having clean hair and nails, is not high on your list.
Instead you settle to take a walk through the morning mist.
Your interest lies in nature, animals, lively things.
I find that so intriguing, you are a wonderful being!
Come to think, you kind of remind me of myself,
I would also leave the dolls to sit upon the shelf.
So take hold, the world is at your fingertips.
And don't forget it's ok to gulp instead of taking sips.
I love you girls.
(c) Sarah Bell
Whoooo Hoooo
Tuesday, 30. August 2005, 08:12:03
I am excited to report that I am going to start working. I will not say what or where, lol, but I am going to be working. In the spring I will start school at a local college here. ummmm what else do I say? I don't know.....UMM the kids are good, everything is fine right now.
More later,
Sarah
Where have you gone, Lord?
Tuesday, 6. September 2005, 12:20:15
I am wondering where is my God in this time of 911, Hurricane Katrina, the war in Iraq.
I watched an episode of Oprah (a talk show host in the US) and I believe that her and her staff have told the story of what happened in N.O. better than any news program that I have seen so far. Seeing the dead and bloated bodies, seeing the people that are too old and sick be placed in a make shift morgue to die at the airport, seeing the African Americans of the US a top buildings and roof tops with hand painted signs of "HELP ME", seeing the young mothers with their listless children in their arms at the super dome, I AM SICK TO DEATH OF IT.
How can a COUNTRY that calls itself one of the most powerful in the world let this happen to it's own people???? Taking 5,6, and 7 days to reach people. The old drowning in the nursing homes!!!
How can you Mr. Bush, still keep your meetings around the country while the people that you have vowed to serve are dying right under your nose?? THEY are dying while you are alive with, alas, no one to answer to. Who are you going to answer to?
I knew something terrible would happen, I saw it in dreams and visions, I felt it in my spirit; but to see it happen and so close to me! I never really believed that I would see the day. I feel as if, the people of the US are being cleansed by fire, for whatever reason God has chosen. I know there is sin here, there, everywhere. I know....but, why? You have created us God, remember that we are weak.
Bush-how can you call yourself Christian, when so many innocent have died under your name.
This president has made me absolutely sick with all the news he has generated. At least with Clinton, a blow job is a natural thing. Letting the innocent die, NOT NATURAL!
Sarah
thinking* "A good title, a good title, think of a good title."
Thursday, 8. September 2005, 13:15:38
funny, kids
Anywhoooo, as some but not all know, I have 4 girls. Girls fight like cats and dogs, well worse, they fight like cats and cats....hehe. Here is one of the arguments....but you should have been here to fell the full effect.
After some talk about a video game called the "Sims"
A-who is 8 and M-who is 5
A-"Hey, I learned how to call the fire department."
M-"You called the police?"
A-"No, the fire department."
M-"You called the plantaalalea?" (this is how it sounded, a made up word)
A-"No, M, I didn't and stop."
M-"You called the (sounded like) leeemannn?"
A-"No!"
M-"You called the demon?"
A-"Daaaaaddddddd, did you hear what M said!?"
I don't know why I thought it was so funny, just hearing M say the word "demon" cracked me up because I have never heard her say that word before. And little MS GOODY 2 SHOES A, was in so much shock. UUUGGGGGG they fight so much and over EVERY AND ANYTHING! I think I am about to have a moment, so I will stop bitching now. The reason I don't write about a lot of other things is because I write about what is important to me. And first and foremost over my husband is my kids, (but we are extremely happy) whooo hooo!
Ummm, what else am I wanting to talk about? Nothing, Ok, I am going to look at other journals now to make some more friends hopefully.
Sarah
It is 9:35 and I am wired on a late coffee
Sunday, 11. September 2005, 14:59:24
hing, not
Hello, I am not sure why I did it but I did.....I drank a cup of coffee after 5 PM. I take that back, it was after 8PM. HAHA So now I am awake, mind you, 35 minutes and counting past my bed time. But who cares, right, I am here and I am posting and having a great time!
The kids are all in bed and sleeping away, soundly...wow, there is no sound in the house but for the play station in the living room that my husband is on. *sigh* as usual.....
But on to better subjects....To be honest, I have nothing on my mind right now. For once it is really blank. I am almost boring myself. I have things on my mind, but I am not sure that I want to share them all. I know a lot of my family read this and I don't want them to know EVERYTHING that I am thinking.
Coffee Coffee Coffee, what a wonderful thing........I love it.
More later, Sarah
I would not trade you guys for the world....Love you all
My New Friends From Far and Wide
Monday, 12. September 2005, 13:53:00
friends, poems
Where are they now--
Sitting in the garden-might be feeling fowl
Maybe he is pecking his beauty a good night
Maybe she is kissing her lover, there is no fight.
Are you having a sip of tea-but not with me?
Having a bite of bread? Where is your head?
I adore you and want you here--foresee--
We can have a bite of bread and taste the leaves of tea.
The Naked Truth...i am turning 30 this year
Tuesday, 13. September 2005, 13:28:18
I am turning 30 this year and the TV commercials have me worried that I am going to fall apart soon. I was thinking today, why do women care so much about what they look like? And, I have come to one conclusion....it must be for other women. The reason I believe this to be true is....well, men could care less. I find that my husband does care to a certain extent, but then again, he is not picky. (Thank God)
I was in the bathroom washing off the little make-up that I had on today with my "Clean and Clear Morning Burst Facial Cleanser with 'bursting beads' " and then proceed to do my weekly facial scrub with the "Clean and Clear Facial Scrub with 'bursting beads' that gently exfoliates skin with vitamin C & Ginseng" After that I desided to use my "Planet Spa dead sea mineral facial mud mask" Or in french (I think) Masque a la boue pour le visage
.......Ummmm, I guess they think that makes you feel a little more exotic or something to put a foreign language on there. HAHA...After the mask that was really grey and did feel like MUD, I put on my NIGHT TIME moisture cream, "Pond's time rewind, overnight wrinkle repair cream with alpha hydroxy & dermal-recovery complex"
Now, see what us women go through???? I hope you men are happy. I mean, this is pure hell! But, I have to look good....for, ummm I think my husband, or is it the women of the world?? OHHH I don't know! Anyway, I went through so much to get my face clean that I decided to take some pictures of it.
Always, Sarah
This Weekend
Monday, 19. September 2005, 08:22:37
family, friends
I am really not in the mood to write but I had to jot down the wonderful day that I had with my family on Sunday. My mother has moved into a new house (one street over from her other one) lol, and I asked her and her husband to stop by to eat lunch. Also there-M and his wife, (brother) C, and Meg and Randy and all the kids, wow! But we had a really wonderful lunch of roast and potatoes and salad....and great conversation. We were just missing my other brother and his wife and child. That made me sad because they live 3 hours away and it is hard for them to get up here with the new baby. I plan on having a visit with them soon. I MISS YOU GUYS!!!
Anyway, that was about it, I worked on Sat, and today the kids are in school. My sister M, (that is stuck to me like glue even though she has a new husband and baby) came over today. I say that because she comes over a lot and will just sit and ask me "What are we doing now?" It is sort of funny...but I am not kidding she was stuck to my side the whole day. Her daughter is 8 months old and M is pregnant again -3 months- She is young, but healthy so I know she will do just fine.
My best friend of 15 or so years is also moving today and tomorrow. She is the one that is single with 3 kids. She has a really great job and can afford to take care of her kids, pay full rent and all of the extra's in life. I am really proud of her hard working. She has 2 guys that are trying to date her and sadly, they are both married! LOL! So, she is sort of angry that no single guys are perusing her. I tell her to stay away from the married men and keep looking for a single man! I really appreciate it when she listens to me because I don't want her to get hurt. So far, she has told one to go away and one is still chasing her. Poorrr girl! K wants me to come and help her move tonight, I am not sure if I am in that sort of mood. We will see. More later,
Sarah
Round Belly, the Beginning of Life is so Wonderful..........
Friday, 4. November 2005, 05:27:33
My beautiful sister came over yesterday and I didn't think before to chart the progress of her pregnancy on film, but began only yesterday. She is now five months along and the baby is doing great. I can feel the baby moving in her belly; low and frequent thumps felt through her abdomen made my heart flutter and skip with joy.
My older brother (with baby Gab) called me yesterday to sort of vent about the problems of dealing with a new baby. He felt like "the family" was not helping his wife enough with the baby and resting. I can not remember getting any help from anyone either. It is extremely difficult with a new baby during the first 6 weeks at least. I feel for them, but also I didn't take part in the baby making of the two. They are going to have to learn to live with little sleep and a messy house for a while. I will help as much as I can, but also I have a family to raise as well. (God forgive me if I am wrong.)
Drip, Drip
it falls
The soldier's
blood falls.
The faucet
of freedom
sprung a leak
bloody freedom!
God, can you
fix the noise
I can't stand
DRIP, DRIP noise!
The young
soldier falls
All you hear
is his blood fall
No title
Monday, 14. November 2005, 14:36:49
Was thinking about family and friends today. My brother and his girlfriend and my mother and sister are all joining me for lunch tomorrow and I could not be happier. It has been a while since we have got together.
I will be cooking. I desided that seafood chowder with a sour dough french bread and salad would be a good lunch for us. I only wish that more could join us (my other brother's).
More later,
Sarah
This is my adorable new nephew
Wondering
Tuesday, 22. November 2005, 07:28:19
I was wondering how people were just adding me as a friend, but when I looked at their pages, they didn't even have a blog or anything. Really not enough info for me to add them as a friend as well. I have fixed my settings to allow only friends to read my blog.
Also this morning when I was leaving a bird was in my van. I had to open the trunk and all four of the doors to make sure it got out safely. It was so funny. Guess I won't be leaving my windows down again.
Right now I am downloading Christmas music to listen to over the holidays. To be honest, I am not overly happy about the holidays, but, It is just like I have to be happy. I hate having to force myself to be happy about things.
What makes me happy about it is having the family over and having a fire lit and talking about childhood. Oh well.
I know one thing. I have not heard from one of my brothers. I know he is busy, but dammit! Whatever, I don't want to talk about it now.
more later
The weirdest thing someone has sent me, but sweet.
Friday, 2. December 2005, 09:21:49
life, sarah
Ok, here it is.........
"i found u in my dream and sadanly i sow u are face in opera the must beutty face i seen in my life bleav my and i like if u van sent me a newo of u are photo letes one i will thnk full"
I swear that was in my in box. But, I will be nice and not say who sent it, lol. Anyway, I am excited to say that Sunday I am going out of town to visit my brother who I have not seen in a few months. It is so funny, it started to be only my mother and I going, and then my sister and her husband want to tag a long as well. I know, I am always complaining about my sis, I love her, but she is sort of a "tag-a-long." I asked her why she was not taking her own car and she said because GAS COST TOO MUCH! LOL! Exactly, sis!
But, the important thing is for us to be together.....that is what matters. The little 80 in gas is not going to kill me, trust.
Yesterday I went shopping, I got some dark denim jeans that I have wanted for a while, ummm, I did some Christmas shopping and also got myself a shirt and sweater....and a poncho and, ohh yeah, another pair of pants. All in all I did pretty good considering. The reason I am saying this is because I never shop for myself, I am always getting for everyone else. I am proud that I thought of myself.
Besides that, life is going swell. I only wish that I could be more honest here. I would love to tell of all the things that are REALLY going on, lol. I am not as brave as some are to let down all of their thoughts for the world to see. AWWWW just thinking about it scares the crap outta me. BTW< the next post is going to be about dreams. Please read it and tell me what you think. Well, I have to get kids now.
Sarah
My Dreams............
Friday, 2. December 2005, 13:27:26
dreams, weird
FIRST DREAM
I had a dream the other night that I was in a big city and there where lights and sounds, tall buildings, people running, chaos every where. The look of desperation on the faces of the men and women was going straight into my soul and stabbing me in the heart. I was wondering to myself, "What are they running from?" I looked to the north and noticed a tall and sturdy building groan and open from the middle as if was being swallowed in chunks by the earth its self. The ground below me was opening and splitting and growling and talking trying to take me and all the humans around me down to the depths of the hot lava middle that was starting to creep upward toward us. They sky was dark and the earth was glowing from the heat of the fire below us, under the dirt that we once trusted, it was now trying to kill us, eat us alive, feed itself with the passion of a starving lion.
When the earth talks and begins to move, there is nothing that you can do to save yourself. Run like hell and try to hide from the impending death that you are going to experience, but ultimately I felt as if we were all going to die from this natural disaster.
SECOND DREAM
In a church is where you are supposed to feel the safest, to feel as if nothing could hurt you under the protection of God and all the saints that surround you. The church is your safe haven and your refuge in a time that you feel the most vulnerable and weak. You would never imagine the church to hand you a knife and ask you to cut your pinkie finger off, but that is just what happened to me in this dream. There was a full church in a wooded area of some town, I am not quite sure. The women had on dresses and the men suited nicely up as if we were going to have a normal service and then go home and have our roasted chicken and green beans. Something was going strangely wrong. A woman took me by the arm and asked me to come out side of the sanctuary. I could then feel many eyes on me as the woman with the long hair and long dress handed me a dagger type knife and told me to do what I was supposed to do. No one told me to cut off my pinkie but instinctively I knew to do it. I cut a perimeter cut around the skin and the burning that followed made me sick to my stomach. There was something driving me. To "cut" this dream short, I ended up not doing it and stood up for myself against those who were asking me to do it.
Anywhoooo-What do you think about those dreams? I have many dreams, but some are more vivid than others! Some may not believe me, but I have dreamed of disasters and woke to the news to see my dreams have come true. I don't know, may be hard to believe........but that is just me.
Thanks all for reading,
Sarah
More about Dreams
Monday, 5. December 2005, 06:20:44
There are many dreams that I have but that does not mean that I think my dreams are going to happen or effect my life when I am awake. When I wrote about my dreams, I was only writing the feelings that I was having during the dream. Those are not waking feeling. I don't know, I think some are confused about what is real and what is not! Just wanted everyone to know that the dreams are only that DREAMS!
Thanks,
Sarah
Last Night
Tuesday, 6. December 2005, 16:37:14
Omg i should have not stayed up so late
I was at an apartment with 4 other girls.....they were all together! I felt so out of place, the only straight girl in the bunch. I almost worried that something was wrong with me, that maybe I should have a girlfriend as well. BUT honestly, I have no interest in that *even though the thought has hit me once or twice or three times////lol////
Her girlfriend (my best friends girlfriend) was tall and blond and very boyish.......I told my friend that if she likes boyish girls, then why don't she just date a BOY! Durrrrrrr! I could not live without having a man in my life.....I hate to say that...but!!
Right now I am absolutely freezing....I have the heater on and we have a great house that keeps all the heat in, but it feels as if the cold weather outside makes itself at home if you want it or not, especially in your hands and feet....and nose.
I DON'T KNOW WHY!
And, further more, I don't want to spend a fortune on the gas bill for the house!
I knew that I should have bought more wood for the fire place. It is a real bitch sometimes to keep the fire going.......but it is so nice to cozy up to AS I am sure that many of you know.
More about my friends "girlfriends"
They are all so pretty, but swear that they hate men. They don't know why a woman would date a man. And I feel the same about them! Who in the hell would really want to be around a woman that much??? I can barely handle my own womanly problems......then to have another one there all the time to deal with as well???? I don't think so! I don't know how men do it sometimes. FPRIVATE "TYPE=PICT;ALT=
" OK, that is all for now.
I noticed that someone had the same entry as mine so I had to change it! LOL
Sunday, 11. December 2005, 10:45:38
I am so proud of myself, I got so much done today, mostly cleaning out the girl's room's and rearranging the drawers, closets and books and toys. Wow, that is really a big job. Then I went out side to the shed and started to go through all of the older toys and I found, I know, at least 3 huge bags of stuffed animals that I put out there before to clear the rooms of clutter. But, today I missed seeing all of the animals with all of their big innocent eyes staring at me out of the girl's rooms and all of the fluffy fur getting all over the place, lol.
Anyway, I found out last week that my oldest daughter was going to get ISS for talking so much in class. I could not believe this was coming from a daughter that started off as such a shy and clingy child. I was brain-storming on what to do about her behavior in class and to wards here teachers. Sometimes, her mind just wonders and she gets off of task so easily. I don't think that I would call it ADD, but maybe it is. I just want her to be successful in her school work and in life in general. I thought about moving her to a school that focused more on the individual talents of the child, but was waiting for the Christmas break to do that. I do think that she has more potential than what she is showing at the present moment. She was doing extremely well in her work before I moved her to this new school at the beginning of last year. I moved all of the girls so that they could be in one school together, but now I regret doing it for the failure of their school work. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!
They used to make straight A's now they are making B's at the most.
Well, I am going to cook dinner now. Later,
Sarah
I did it
Thursday, 15. December 2005, 08:52:25
christmas, cookies, food
Cookies for the girl's X-Mas party at school.
I actually made the cookies for the girl's classes today. There are too many to list, but I am going to anyway............
Peanut butter with chocolate chips in the middle,
Sugar cookies (grandma's recipe with cream of tarter) I have never made before today,
Regular sugar cookies~made so the girls can cut out with various cookies cutters.
Peanut butter balls (very good! the ingredients has honey, peanut butter and rice crispies coated in coconut)
Chocolate cookies~you would have to see to believe how beautiful they came out. (dipped in powered sugar)
And last but not lease, Chocolate Chip! Whooohoooo! I hope the girl's friends love them.
Sarah
