Sarah

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Mi Amigas

Monday, July 31, 2006 2:20:27 AM

blogging, blah blah, life, friends ...

This morning I cried, salty tears slid down my cheeks, in a steady stream
followed by emotion. The only feeling that has tortured me lately is anger,
I don't know where it comes from or why, but it was with me. I can't blame
everything on genetics, or can I???

So, since I have not cried in so long, I went ahead and let myself be sad....
thinking to myself, "Awww, this feels so nice to cry....waaaawhaa."

I begun to think of my best and only friend moving, and that
pushed the tears, I thought of being lonely in this marriage and
that forced the tears. My husband moved closer to me, not sure
of what I was sad about and being a man, just wanting to fix it.

"What can I get you?"
"Nothing." As I took the hot laundry out of the dryer.
I could feel the ugly cry coming quickly and I pushed it back. don't wanna sob,
don't wanna sob.......
"Umm, OK. Need some coffee?"
"Yes,thanks." I replied, quietly.

I do believe that with women we HAVE to talk and communicate, we HAVE to
be face to face with someone (preferably a girlfriend) and look at our friends in
the eyes and be there with them to touch their hand, I even miss the smell
of her perfume...and no I am not into her like that...
that is just how much I miss her...

I don't WANT to make a new friend! I have had her for a decade and a half now,
why change a wonderful routine that HAS WORKED throughout the years??? I am on
the verge of having a full blown cry-baby hissy fit. Now isn't that sad? Not
really! I won't throw a hissy fit, but I want to.

There is nothing wrong with that.

So when Fatimah called I just wanted to hear her gab, I just wanted
to listen....and not talk. The joy that I felt over a friend calling was
like jelly on a peanut butter sandwich,

or like creamer in my coffee...
it was so nice. When I tried to think of how long it had been since I talked
to a friend on the phone, I could not count the days on both of my hands. So
saying that I appreciate her calling is an understatement. To be honest,
I do not think that any of my family will ever read this entry, it is
HIGHLY unlikely. They are not 'into' blogs as strongly as I.....
I feel free to say openly that I am lonely......it is a feeling that stay
at home mothers get. So all of you people that want to get all crazy on me,
DON'T. It is not the kind of lonely of a single women, it is different.

The only way I can explain it is to say, an adult women needs
her girlfriends.

The one girlfriend that is always there for me is Fatimah aka Zenya. I love
and enjoy ALL of my girlfriends on here, but she is very important to me, and
always around when I need her. And, for On an to say what he did about me, was just
sick and shows that he does not understand FRIENDSHIP. When I take up for
my girlfriend, I do it in love. Link to explanation. For
anyone who cares.

After all, how far would you go for a friend? How far is too far? I know the
answer to these questions in my own mind, but I don't feel as if I over stepped
any boundaries in this situation. Anyway, I wouldn't embarrass myself for just anyone.

I am the girl that wants everyone to "Just all get along." Unless it comes to mi amigas
o mi familia. I don't have anymore tears to cry, maybe I should have a glass of agua....

Sarah

27 comments

My Feelings, EXACTLY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 27, 2006 8:46:14 PM

blah blah, blogging, venting, me

flash games
LMAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

free games

18 comments

My Chat Room

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 6:00:23 PM

blah blah, coolstuff

THAT CHAT ROOM WAS FREAKING WORTHLESS !!!!!!!!

11 comments

A Boring Summer Day

Sunday, July 23, 2006 6:22:46 PM

blogging, blah blah, kids, life ...

All of the girls are back together with me now, all four of them. For the most part of the summer they have been scattered with grandma and camp and, well, wherever they wanted to stay for a night or two. And yes, I did know the family.

But now that the 4 completely different personalities are back together they are now melding together into one big ball of never ending energy that doesn't seem to want to stop. I don't remember, as a child, being as bored as my children 'claim' to be....it amazes me how incredibly bored 4 girls can become.

Seeing how they were on the edge of dying of boredom, I let them get into my paints, sketch pads, crafts, hot glue and about everything that I have ever spent money on to make myself happy for a few fleeting moments.....things that I release my creative energy into. But these things are not only for me, I know. I want my girls to also 'release their creative energy' as well. Obviously, construction paper and markers and Elmar's glue are not good enough for them.

So, now I sit on the computer....the last thing that I have to call my own. "I will kill if you break my computer" Sound harsh?? Oh well, this is my escape from the death trap of cooking, cleaning and normal household duties. Whine

yes, I know. This morning was the normal routine, church, roast in oven, husband sleeping, kids fighting, go for walk, check Opera if when I have time.

Well, I am happy but am looking forward to school starting. August 14 is my lucky day. But, they get out early! Whyyy??? After a long summer with bored children, why? ohh why do they let them out at 1:00 pm??? It is a slap in the mother's face, a message from the school that says, "DON'T FORGET THE KIDS ARE STILL YOURS!" MUAHHHH HAAA HAAA!

OUCH! Thanks for that slap school......I needed it. But I love them and everything will be okay.....on August 15th when they have a whole day and bring home HOMEWORK. No more boredom then!! Heheheheheh! Plus we are broke from the grocery bills this summer.

More later,
Sarah

PS- A poem that I wrote last summer when I was feeling the same way.

Behavior, Please!

Friday, 12. August 2005, 01:20:14

Golden bracelets and rings, little lacy dresses.
Beautiful ringlets flowing throughout curly tresses.

Sitting with the dolls that are dressed as well as her.
Playing so quietly in her room, there is not a stir.

Her coming up to me to kiss me gingerly on the cheek,
Saying "I love you, mommy." It surely makes me weak.

Those are some of the things, I thought my girl would be.
How wrong I was and after 12 years now I really see!

That the dreams I had of my princess, have faded far away.
The nightmare that I tell you, is what has happened just today.

Fighting with the Taylor boys just down the street,
Is not something that I find sweet.

Worm guts and dirt under her nails,
for the baby bird that "Accidentally fell."

Running through the house tracking mud on my floor.
Really, is not something that I adore.

Gulping down her milk, eating fast what I prepare.
Please honey! Sip your milk, get the food out of your hair!

She broke a window today with a bat and ball,
This is not good behavior, at all! at all!

Ok, I have to realize that the princess that I dreamed,
Is now a vivid, active girl full of magic as it seems.

Doing all the things that any boy can do and more.
Nothing in this world will hold her, it's all open doors.

Special girl, knowing you may never like the look of gold.
Sitting with dolls, may be to you "Just plain old!"

Having clean hair and nails, is not high on your list.
Instead you settle to take a walk through the morning mist.

Your interest lies in nature, animals, lively things.
I find that so intriguing, you are a wonderful being!

Come to think, you kind of remind me of myself,
I would also leave the dolls to sit upon the shelf.

So take hold, the world is at your fingertips.
And don't forget it's ok to gulp instead of taking sips.

I love you girls.

(c) Sarah Bell

5 comments

Quickies.........

Thursday, July 20, 2006 1:02:22 AM

blah blah, blogging, opera community

A pic my daughter took.....sooo cute.

Quickie #1

One day, Jay Dini came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a
very sexy nightie.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went fishing. (or golfing or internet cafe or whatever men do)

Quickie #2
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into
the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,
"Honey,pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or
mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

love this one.........

Quickie #3
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the
other is a husband.

Quickie #4
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a
car with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the
optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

Quickie #5
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must
tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
chardonnay."

Quickie #6
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need
more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're
going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen
to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always
forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think
I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

(Devans you will like this one

)
Quickie #7
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That
afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon
the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been
looking for Herman for 51 years!

Coffee for all

20 comments

Remember Today..........

Sunday, July 16, 2006 2:55:01 AM

blah blah, blogging, you, me

Sarah

Sarah knows precisely what she wants
And doesn't have a clue to what she needs.
Revising all the journals of her heart,
A modern woman springs from what she reads,
Her faces alien to the ghosts she haunts.

Taken From..........
Poems for Free

Artist:Sarah Connor
Album:Green Eyed Soul
Title:From Sarah With Love

Sarah Conner - From Sarah With Love.mp3
Provided by Marcus, (see comments)

Verse 1:
For so many years we were friends
And yes i always knew what we could do
But so many tears in the rain
Felt the night you said
That love had come to you
I thought you were not my kind
I thought that i could never feel for you
The passion and love you were feeling
And so you left
For someone new
And now that you're far and away
I'm sending a letter today

Chorus:
From sarah with love
She'd got the lover she is dreaming of
She never found the words to say
But i know that today
She's gonna send her letter to you

From sarah with love
She took your picture to the stars above
And they told her it is true
She could dare to fall in love with you
So don't make her blue when she writes to you
From sarah with love

Verse 2:
So maybe the chance for romance
Is like a train to catch before it's gone
And i'll keep on waiting and dreaming

You're strong enough
To understand
As long as you're so far away
I'm sending a letter each day

Chorus

Last chorus:
From sarah with love
She'd got the lover she is dreaming of
She never found the words to say
But i know that today
She's gonna send her letter to you

From sarah with love
She's gotta know what you are thinking of
'cause every little now and then
And again and again
I know her heart cries out for you

From sarah with love
She'd got the lover she is dreaming of
Never found the words to say, ahh
But today, but today...

From sarah with love
She took your picture to the stars above
And they told her it is true
She could dare to fall in love with you
So don't make her blue when she writes to you
From sarah with love

Coda:
So don't make me blue when i write to you
From sarah with love

9 comments

Hi

Monday, July 10, 2006 7:37:48 PM

blogging, blah blah

It is too hot today, 101F
We are going to play in the water. Went to wal-mart, they are all sold out of the swimming pools (except for the ones that cost $300.00) and we had one of those that my beautiful girls punched a hole into the side of. Never again.

We drove all over town looking for a store that had just a 'regular' swimming pool. To no avail did we find one.

But we DID find a man on the side of the road selling beautiful water melons. We picked up two and came home to let chill in the frig.
Kids are calling, 'water, water, water!' Oh yes, I got another sprinkler. My 3rd one for the summer, the others keep breaking. Umm, wonder who did it???

later,
sarah

27 comments

Ok

Sunday, July 9, 2006 4:30:36 PM

blogging, blah blah, me

Hi,
I am surfing around a bit today on the internet and looking at different sites and can anyone agree with me (or disagree) that somedays there is just too much info? I call it, TMI. People telling you how to do this and how to do that. Can't anyone figure all this out their self? How to be a good wife, how to be a good husband, how to blog, how to read the news, how to jump off a cliff,

Well, I say, do it how you want to do it. We learn THE BEST by trial and error. Right? People, please have common sense....Ohhh what is this world coming to? And what am I doing actually WRITING in my blog???? NOW that really is a new one for me.

Sooooo, whatelse? Ummm, someone write me! Ohh, never mind I am leaving anyway. Gotta get off this life sucker of a computer.

But,
I
will
be
BACK!

Love,
Sarah

6 comments

I got this today,

Saturday, July 8, 2006 7:14:55 PM

my online life, geeks, news, whatever ...

2006-07-08 11:20
Subject: Your membership to My Online Life has been rejected

From: onlinelife

Your membership to My Online Life was rejected by one of the moderators
Reply | Reply with Quote

But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I get no explaination, nothing, Just YOU HAVE BEEN REJECTED.

whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Ohh well, maybe it is because I never posted there?

Tell me UberGeek??
I didn't know the club was so exclusive.

Reminds me of big business here in the US, they will boot your ass for no reason.

Sarah

3 comments

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