Sarah's Blogish Thoughts

I want to be her one day.


LAWYERS SHOULD NEVER ASK A MEXICAN GRANDMA A QUESTION IF THEY AREN'T PREPARED FOR THE ANSWER...

DURING A TRIAL IN A SMALL TOWN IN SOUTH TEXAS , THE PROSECUTING ATTORNEY CALLED HIS FIRST WITNESS, AN ELDERLY MEXICAN ABUELITA TO THE STAND. HE APPROACHED HER AND ASKED, "SEÑORA SANCHEZ, DO YOU KNOW ME ?"

SHE RESPONDED, "SI, I KNOW YOU MR. WILLIAMS. I KNOW YOU SINCE YOU WERE A MOCOSO CHORRIADO, AND FRANKLY YOU'VE BEEN A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT TO ME, TO YOUR FAMILY AND TO YOUR COMMUNITY. YOU LIE, YOU CHEAT ON YOU WIFE, AND YOU
MANIPULATE PEOPLE, AND YOU THINK YOU'RE A BIG SHOT WHEN YOU ARE NADA, PURA BASURA. YES, I KNOW YOU BABOSO."

THE LAWYER WAS STUNNED, NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO DO, HE POINTED ACROSS THE ROOM AND ASKED, MRS. SANCHEZ, "DO YOU KNOW THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY?"

AGAIN SHE REPLIED, "CLARO QUE SI. I'VE KNOWN MR. RODRIGUEZ SINCE HE WAS A MOCOSO TRAVIESO TOO. HE'S A LAZY PUTO, AND HE HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM. HE CAN'T KEEP A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP WITH NOBODY, AND HE IS THE MOST PENDEJO
LAWYER IN THE STATE. AND NOT TO MENTION HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE WITH THREE DIFFERENT PUTAS. ONE OF THEM WAS YOUR WIFE! ,YOU REMEMBER? ... I KNOW MR. RODRIGUEZ; HIS MAMA IS NOT PROUD OF HIM TAMBIEN."

THE DEFENSE AT TORNEY ALMOST DIED!!!

THE JUDGE THEN ASKED BOTH COUNSELORS TO APPROACH THE BENCH, AND IN A VERY QUIET VOICE SAID, "IF EITHER OF YOU CABRONES ASK HER IF SHE KNOWS ME, I'LL SEND YOU TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR."

Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few minutes passed.
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out, "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."
Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" The startled father asked.
"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.