Whatever....

When you have an 'I Hate My Job day' [Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days] Try this out: On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.


When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.


Now the fun part begins.Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: 'Every Rectal Thermometer made by & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized.
'

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.
'

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!

.........Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart.
Maybe you should go and work for Johnson & Johnson!!!!!

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.


6. You're just jealous because the voices talk only to me

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are just missing.

10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.

12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it.

17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew
up.

18 Procrastinate Now!

19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand
times the memory.

26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment
for a

pig.

27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.