Sarah Dreams

Ok....Pissed about Perverts

Wednesday, August 29, 2007 10:31:30 AM

There are some profiles that I do NOT want my face on.....I am getting 'add friends' from some of the weirdest people and I am tired of it. Why is there not someway for us to 'approve' before someone adds us. How does it make me look when my face is on the page of some creepy guy who has all pictures of naked women.

There has to be a better way to solve this problem. I do realize that I have put up with alot...not saying anything about some people adding me, those without pictures, those who appear a little strange in my own eyes...but when it comes down to men with pictures of butt naked women all over their page, I don't want anything to do with that. It only leads to other things...the perverts that are going to their page see the women on their friend list, so then they are led to our page...to add us...

Now, we think they look like normal men...but no they turn out to be perverts just as the pervert that added me without permission.

I am weighing right now in my mind if this is important enough to put up a fight about...and I think asking for an option to 'approve before adding' is not asking for too much.

thanks...

Will think of this later...Opera Awards

Comments

1 2 Next »

MrPingouin # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 10:40:44 AM

Maybe they should make the things this way :

if A has add B as a friend
AND
if B has add A as a friend

then the friendship appears in the "friends panel"

It would be more "logical"

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 10:55:32 AM

I thought of that as well....anything would be better than the current.

isabelwickedlizard13 # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 11:19:45 AM

i so agree with you... there should be such a way to approve who adds us to their sites...

E DEivindd # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 12:27:40 PM

Good thought, think Oera should give choice to ignore people ie that you do not appear as friends when you are not a friend..

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 12:48:52 PM

Eivindd, you can ignore those...but your face is still on their list.

Sansanshan # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 2:42:53 PM

Complain to Opera about it , they'll change it. Things like that have happened to me and they listen and do something about it right away.

Connyschmienz # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 3:25:58 PM

Good idea!

H82typ # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 3:31:36 PM

For what it's worth, Sarah, my two cents: I personally don't care who adds me as a friend, as long as it's not a Hannibal Lecter type. If I don't know you, or feel we have nothing in common I just won't talk to you. I know, though, that it's different for women. I've read the blog posts of some young ladies angry at having to be subjected to unwanted sexually oriented posts. The feelings run from a expression of unease at signing in and retrieving such a message from a stranger, to outright rage," I wish he was standing in front of me, and I had my gun...".
Here's the deal, have The Browser Team make the friends request to be mutual consent. Both parties have to agree to be friends. I don't know if you're familiar with WAP sites at all, but this one, "Prodigits" has it set up that way. Most WAP sites that I've been to do. Opera could toggle it for those that don't need it. However, as Sanshan said, Opera does have a history of dealing swiftly with this type of thing, as long as the offended party pm's a Mod.

H82typ # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 3:35:36 PM

Jeez, I sound like a politically correct old fart, don't I?

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 3:35:58 PM

Thanks guys....

Stardancer # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 5:05:29 PM

Thanks for addressing this issue, Sarah. It needed to be brought out into the open.

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 5:08:18 PM

I wish someone would walk up on me, I am not going down without a fight Bici. I am not scared....

Thanks for the comment.

isabelwickedlizard13 # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 5:09:25 PM

JillGeeEm # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 5:18:29 PM

I have run into this kind of creepazoid before. Not here, not yet, but other places. Ignore them. If one of them wants to go to the trouble of stalking me IRL, I will make sure it's the last mistake they make in this life. Just saying.

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 5:46:40 PM

Oh yeah by your avatar GeeEm, you must get tons of those adds....

right?

Issy-

CherylDuckyChickenLady # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 5:50:35 PM

Well...Facebook does it like Mr. P explained it...so I think that would be a great solution!

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 6:10:24 PM

Ok...that is where you are right Cheryl?

KarenNerak # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 6:51:38 PM

I can't agree with you more, Sarah. It's bothered me since the day I joined My Opera. I don't exactly like being associated with these freaks without my consent.

I like the freedom to choose my freaky friends!

If they just implemented a system like MySpace or Facebook, the problem would be solved. It'd take a bit of development, but no biggie, really.

MarcusFXM256 # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 8:39:30 PM

I agree with all of you that they should change the current add friends system. Some people have added me that I've wanted nothing to do with, but it pales in comparison to what many of you ladies here go through. The system of each person approving their friends request would solve these issues and make MyOpera a better place for all to enjoy

Bad WolfCois # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 9:05:11 PM

Well I think the add friends should be put in request form like when you're invited to a group.. That way you check out the person and decide if you accept or reject his or her 'invitation to be friends..
Does it sound simple enough?

scott cummingIArtMan # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 9:42:13 PM

i never thought of that drawback sarah.

my practice is, if someone adds me as a friend i click on their name and read their about, browse their blog a little and i usually add them after that. i have never added anyone who doesn't have a 'journal', unless it's my friend that i begged to join opera. and they usually, at least add a picture of some kind.

but i do agree that the proposed b adds a, and if a adds b, then they show up as friends. it was a lack of foresight i think.

send the opera team a link to this post and they will fix it in one day.
mainly because there's no good reason to have it the way it is.... ..that i can think of anyway.

and i agree that men should try to put themselves in the place of the woman they are stalking or whatever else offends or hurts them. how would they feel if they were treated in a like manner? what happened to chivalry anyway?

H82typ # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 9:48:54 PM

Oh, and ladies, a name and shame topic in the forums might not be a bad idea. With a link to his page.
.@I_Art_Man: Chivalry,sir and civility are not dead, just very, very ill!

Loiscakkleberrylane # Wednesday, August 29, 2007 9:55:38 PM

Sounds like a great idea. You can count on my vote. Doesn't it work that way on My Space?

maddysman2003 # Thursday, August 30, 2007 1:33:01 AM

I know where you are coming from . Maybe put up a ugly picture, lol. Yes there should be a friend pending option because once you are on the list only the owner of the page can delete you as a friend.

JillGeeEm # Thursday, August 30, 2007 5:36:24 AM

Agreed, and yeah hon, I have had a few. Not as many here as in other groups. My answer is always the same...either go away or come into range, your choice. I don't tolerate fools or sickos and especially not with a baby on the way. You get one chance. Behave and we're friends, show your a** and get out of my universe!

H82typ # Thursday, August 30, 2007 4:47:51 PM

Well, it's not stalking if you really _like_:left:... um ...

love someone!

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Thursday, August 30, 2007 4:57:35 PM

agreed!

H82typ # Thursday, August 30, 2007 5:03:11 PM

@ maddysman: Why should they have to put up an ugly pic? Why should they have to worry about being 'perved' because of the way they look? If they're going to stalk or 'perv' someone because of their photo, or worse their avatar, then they've go more problems than you can take a stick to.
Here, as in real life, if you don't like what someone is doing or saying to you and they will not stop -contact the authorities. It's sad to say that even today, the mods will probably be swifter to action than the police will.

Espen André ØverdahlEspenAO # Friday, August 31, 2007 8:35:11 AM

Hi angel292005,

You already know my POV on this matter. Some users violate our terms of service, and unfortunately abuse our upload function. If anyone of you find content on the My Opera community sites that are offending then I urge you to please contact us.

You state a valid point and the idea about having to approve potential friends are being discussed internally as we speak.

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Friday, August 31, 2007 9:18:59 AM

@espen,
Sweet.

Thanks...

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Friday, August 31, 2007 9:25:41 AM

@Dennis,
I totally agree. When I go out to the store, shops, markets...whatever...there my face is in public. There is nothing that I can do to stop people from looking at my face short of wearing a burka.
And that is not going to happen anytime soon.

Cleanclean # Friday, August 31, 2007 11:50:19 AM

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Friday, August 31, 2007 12:03:45 PM

Doru Ldoleon # Saturday, September 1, 2007 1:50:02 PM

i agree with you!
I vote for your ideea!
if you know how to do it pls tell me or give a sign...

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Saturday, September 1, 2007 2:32:53 PM

Esther-Sugar Winxsugarwinx # Saturday, September 1, 2007 8:52:12 PM

I want the "approve friendship" option too!!!

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Saturday, September 1, 2007 10:07:41 PM

Good, I think they are working on it.

Cleanclean # Sunday, September 2, 2007 12:54:32 AM

I think it'd be very likely to happen soon ... that's the good thing about the OC Admins ... you give 'em some feedback and they take it seriously ...

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Sunday, September 2, 2007 2:51:49 PM

David, that is so true! That is one thing that I love about this community!

scott cummingIArtMan # Sunday, September 2, 2007 5:19:10 PM

kuddos to opera team for being so human.

MsBeHaven # Monday, September 3, 2007 4:19:45 AM

I wish there were a way to totally "hide" your list of friends, if you so choose. Especially to hide your "member list" on a group. Does anyone know if you can do either of these things? (in addition to the "approve friend" before they can add you. I mean, geeezzz, even MySpace lets you approve someone before they can add you! Come on! lol
(it also allows you to enter code to hide your friends list and/or comments if you want)

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Monday, September 3, 2007 12:12:21 PM

Hi there MsBeHaven,
You can hide the bulk of your friends by going into 'my account'
select 'side bars and menus'
under 'BLOG SIDEBAR'
deselect 'friends'

under 'MENU'
deselect 'friends'

scroll to the bottom of the page and select 'save'

Doing this will only show a few of your friends on the 'about' page but will not show the entire list. The downfall is, you will not be able to see your list of friends from your menu. But you can go into 'your account' and view and edit them from there.

MsBeHaven # Tuesday, September 4, 2007 3:54:55 PM

Thank you!!!

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Tuesday, September 4, 2007 4:02:20 PM

Your welcome.

NikolaosNikolaosX1 # Wednesday, September 5, 2007 4:04:24 PM

Sadly Sarah, this is not as simple as you might think.

In order to have the ability to reject friends, the Opera developers would have to reconstruct a large amount of the server’s scripts.

But everything is possible with a little patience.

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Wednesday, September 5, 2007 8:17:52 PM

I believe so as well.

Esther-Sugar Winxsugarwinx # Saturday, September 15, 2007 3:31:53 AM

They told u that they're working on it, iMom??

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Saturday, September 15, 2007 2:01:09 PM

Well it hasn't happened again but if it does I will report them.

Esther-Sugar Winxsugarwinx # Sunday, September 16, 2007 11:55:50 AM

Oh. I thought u heard first hand news about Opera offering the "accept friendship" / "approve friendship" option.

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Sunday, September 16, 2007 12:20:26 PM

Oh that... yes...they said they are working on it...what more can we know? lol I am :wait:ing as well!

1 2 Next »

Showing comments 1 - 50 of 52.