My Opera is closing 3rd of March

sarah's Arty Dreams

everyday life of a stay at home mom/artist

Rain and a Dream

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The flooding has not affected my house in particular but further south in a town called Marble Falls it is flooding many homes, sadly. I have been through Marble Falls; it is a beautiful town with the Colorado River running through it. It is an amazing site to enter Marble Falls seeing the elegant course of the river from a higher elevation. I just can’t explain how enamored I was at the site and mentioned to my husband that I would love to live there if we ever got the chance! There is something about rivers that draws me in and captivates my interest.

I am amazed at the strength that mother nature has at times being the same stable entity for hundreds of years, only to surprise you suddenly and take back from you what is Hers. Sometimes with a vengeance. She can make you feel warm and safe one minute and the next make you feel as if you are only one small part of her plan. If you don’t work with Mother Nature the punishment will be swift and harsh and your mind may never grasp the wrath she beholds. (the end)

Last night I dreamed that I was in the back of my parent’s station wagon as we drove from North Carolina to Texas when I was a child. I felt safe there staring at the back of Dad’s and Mom’s head and glancing out the window at the passing land. I could hear conversation between the two of them; no particular words only the deeper sound of his voice and the higher wispy tone of mom. This moment seemed to last forever and was one that I wanted to live and linger in. Now, I realize that was the time that I felt safest in my life, trusting them to do what was best for us with not a worry or concern in the world.

When have you felt the safest and might it take a dream to bring back that memory?
heart
Sarah

Playing in the RainWelcome

Comments

Bad WolfCois Thursday, June 28, 2007 6:06:12 PM

I've never felt safe.. only comforted at times and that's what I've ever longed for since..
Be it in someones arms or a warm piece of freshly baked bread like the way my mum used to make.. But safe.. I don't think so..

Stardancer Thursday, June 28, 2007 7:49:46 PM

We had a blue VistaCruiser! (I totalled it when I was 16--my first car wreck.)

I've only felt safe one time in my life, and that was just a week-and-a-half ago. Like Cois, I've felt comforted, but safe is a rare feeling for a lot of people, I think. Especially in today's world. Too many uncertainties.

Nice post, Sarah.

up

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:24:09 PM

Clint-sorry that you never felt 'safe'. It is a feeling that is hard to explain!

Well....feeling safe means (to me) that you don't have to THINK or WORRY about your actions and how they will affect you or others around you. Safe, secure....is this not a common feeling? (as a child)

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:25:51 PM

Star-Umm seeing these two comments make me wonder...what do you consider 'feeling safe' means?

I would love to know your thoughts.

Bad WolfCois Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:44:03 PM

No worries sums it up.. unfortunately my childhood was hectic..
I never was carefree.. Younger maybe, but I don't remember much.. just that I had a dad that you had to tiptoe around..
I ran away so many times.. even once sleeping in a dog house.. Older, after school it was straight to work in the shop.. Safe for me now is no financial worries, a roof over my head, clothes on my back.. all material things..
Bad relationships made me cynical of finding love.. no one ever made me feel 'safe' coz disappointment was the order of the day..
So in my life I'm suspicious of everything and almost everyone.. Can you understand why I say I've never felt safe?

Lana ClaycampLadella Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:46:06 PM

Amazing how our minds bring up just the things we need the most...mostly in our dreams but just as necessary. I remember that trip across country. Do you remember when the catalytic converter caught on fire while we were driving? We were near a station where they cut it off right there! THAT solved the problem and we sailed home without a problem. It cut down on gas too! What a memory...remember all the plants in the back of the wagon (btw, the picture looks just like it) and our white cat Missie? I'm so thankful you felt safe then and that you can experience that feeling again and again through memories. I had a dream last night that each one of you children were sitting in a semi-circle around me but were not sitting on chairs but with your legs crossed sitting in a big hand! It was interesting because I knew it was God's hand and I think He was showing me that you all were safe in His strong hand. That felt SAFE for me since you all are my heart and I pray so much for you and my grandbabies and someday great-great grandbabies and on and on...like a wonderful line of generational chain. Sarah, thank you for sharing your heart. You express yourself so well with words and hopefully someday we will see you published! Love you always, Mom

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:53:19 PM

Clint,
Yes, that makes complete sense to me....I have the feeling some-days of not feeling financially safe but not so much that it would give me the 'overall' feeling of being insecure. What happens to us as children can carry over into our adult life, sadly. Your mind is remembering experiences that prevents you on being truly happy and with feelings of security. Wow, money does play a part as well. Sometimes it just makes me so sick the way that money can sway a person's overall well being...it just isn't fair sometimes. About relationships......I wish that I could say more publicly but I won't....because I have so many issues there of pushing people away thinking that they would have left anyway! :( It is NOT complicated..clear to me what I am doing...yet...I still do it. Someday I will learn not to be so paranoid...I hope.

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:57:28 PM

OMG mom your dream! We always do that...dream same feelings...scared
lol But mom, I don't remember the car breaking down and I don't even remember what it looked like. Yes, I remember the plants because when I looked back through the window, I was looking through plants as my friends jumped on my trampoline!!! irked All I could think is that I wanted that trampoline!! lol Thoughts of a child, right?

It is still raining HARD outside! You be careful when coming over here to Meg's the kids are happy right now thank God and in the room with Riah watching a movie. love love love you!

heart

Bad WolfCois Thursday, June 28, 2007 10:01:24 PM

A bit off topic I think but do you know what hope is to me? If Pandora let out all the evils of the world out of her box.. what I wanna know is.. what was Hope doing in there? From my viewpoint it seems hope is also a evil thing.. this proves once again something of my nature.. will it ever change? I doubt..

MarcusFXM256 Thursday, June 28, 2007 11:40:27 PM

I can remember feeling safe with my family in the West Indies, a bunch of us together spending time with each other smile Nice post, Sarah up

Hiteshahitesha Friday, June 29, 2007 10:44:20 AM

Hi sarah!!

Your post has really got everybody thinking smile

I dont recollect, or lets say I cant point one particular moment when I felt safe, secure, protected, hassle-free...

What I do know, is that right now, I would live for that just one moment to feel SAFE just once again! No matter how brief..

Ummm Cois,

There's a new side I see to you through these comments. And I suddenly am in awe of your ability to laugh and mae others laugh, despite the past..

Wish I had your strength

Hiteshahitesha Friday, June 29, 2007 10:44:52 AM

I really liked reading this one!

Kay FourKayFour Friday, June 29, 2007 1:11:02 PM

I can't think of a moment, specifically, when I felt safe and secure, but I do remember when that safety was ruined. I was about seven or eight or nine and an aunt and uncle were visiting. They went to a lake that was about 25 miles from my house and on the way home, there was a bad car wreck.

They tried to help the three men inside the car and one of them had a bad head wound. They kept wrapping towels around his head, but they still soaked through in just a few seconds.

This was in the days before they had 9-1-1 and my uncle had to drive to a gas station that was nearly ten miles away to call the police. They finally arrived, but it was too late for the one man.

My aunt and uncle came back to our house with the story, but what freaked me out was that she was covered in blood... the man's blood. It was very graphic and left an impression on me. A BIG one. I realized then that people I really know can be involved in terrible thing.

Ramuteramute Friday, June 29, 2007 4:44:43 PM

I never felt safe in my life. Nor with my parents neigher in my marriage. All the time had to fight for my rights. The safest I felt with my children, because I felt strong, able to protect them and to give my love.

Warmly, Ramute.
smile

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Friday, June 29, 2007 5:08:07 PM

wow, these stories leave me speechless. zip

~Sarah~

Bad WolfCois Friday, June 29, 2007 5:21:43 PM

Speechless for once! p

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Friday, June 29, 2007 6:02:08 PM

Well, I had a comment for you...but I was @ my sister's yesterday and was not able to finish it before my mother got there. I thought about sending you a pm....but I will tell you now what I thought.

I can see why you think that 'hope' is evil. Because to me hope can be seen as a thought..and I really do think that evil things and so on are in our imagination.(it all exist in the mental only which leads to physical acts) But that is just MY way of thinking. Honestly...I try to have a positive outlook on this life. I try to look over all the evil and unfair justice that this world seems to dish out on a daily basis.

Bad WolfCois Friday, June 29, 2007 6:33:51 PM

Hope isn't evil... It's what you don't do with it that can be.. To always hope things get better but they don't.. you need to DO something to give that hope life and change anything you hope for to the better..
I'm usually a happy go lucky guy that portrays all sense of being content.. but like everyone else I have a viewpoint on life.. sometimes the cynic in me surfaces and unfortunately I'm a black hole..
Think I'll do as I always do and suck it up, retreat and smile.. not a nice move but it's all I know that makes me feel safe.. yai! p My safe place.. p please take it as a joke Sarah.

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Friday, June 29, 2007 6:43:00 PM

I didn't see a joke.......?
At any rate...back to life. smile

Stardancer Friday, June 29, 2007 6:49:51 PM

Safe, to me, is freedom from hurt--free to love without being hurt; free to BE loved without being hurt; free to trust without being hurt; free to believe in something without being hurt; free to be the person you really are inside without being hurt; free to just BE without being hurt.

Maybe some people are able to experience that regularly throughout their lives.

I hope so.

And I agree with your mom.

smile

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Friday, June 29, 2007 6:55:48 PM

I agree Star....free to BE without being hurt. You know, I also think it depends on someone's own attitude towards others as well...don't you?

smile

Stardancer Friday, June 29, 2007 7:09:13 PM

I do, Sarah. That's why I keep getting hurt, I think. lol

Seriously, I think it's very important that we don't stop trying to find those safe places--with family, friends, new friends, new thought patterns, and new behavior patterns.

I have that same tendency that you mentioned of shoving people away before they hurt me (because I know they're gonna, right?), and I have to really work hard not to do that.

I understand your struggle with that, believe me.

I get very withdrawn when I'm hurt, like a puppy licking its wounds, I guess. And the more often I get hurt, the harder it is for me to "come back" from that withdrawal.

Someone asked me once if I was a hermit, and I answered, "No, but I understand the mentality."

And I really think I do.

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Friday, June 29, 2007 7:19:25 PM

Oh yes, I understand that mentality as well. It is one that you want to withdraw and protect yourself in a cocoon like state. Some days I am able to let go and not care what others think of me but then some days I feel like I have to 'walk on egg shells'. Thinking that others may and more than likely feel the same way that you do can really help.

Like…..for many years while I was married…..I thought that he was the one who was
going to stray and cheat…only to find out he had those fears against me!!! He had some deep seeded feelings of abandonment from the way that his mother treated him growing up, so he assumed that I also was going to leave him. For 7 years my husband and I fought about this and finally he opened up to me telling me the truth. HE learned to let go and our marriage just opened to another level when that happened.

I felt like….if he has fears, and I have fears, then we MUST just be HUMAN. So let’s live life and have fun anyway!

Right now I know that my husband has ummmm social anxiety fears….even though he hates to admit it. When we go into public he becomes a different person becoming uptight and it takes a miracle for him to just relax (usually alcohol) whoa I am way off subject, but it’s relaxing to talk about.

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Friday, June 29, 2007 7:23:43 PM

Kay-if you read this.....I just wanted to know...before that accident you were 'seeing the world through rose colored glasses?' So to say?


Gosh I am so exhausted from such a busy week that I just want to chat online all day! faint

Cleanclean Tuesday, July 31, 2007 1:36:37 PM

Have a go at remembering that feeling of security again ... picture it in your mind as vividly as you can ... really focus on that emotion of security and safety ...

Got it ... ?

Now you realize that you can call up that feeling any time you like (like you just did) ... at will. You can therefore apply that feeling at any time of the day or night, whatever situation you're in, whenever you like. smile

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Tuesday, July 31, 2007 1:45:29 PM

Umm sounds like a yoga mind practice! you rock David!

Cleanclean Tuesday, July 31, 2007 1:47:18 PM

lol Wouldn't it be cool if there was an 'Om' emoticon? lol

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Tuesday, July 31, 2007 1:53:38 PM

lol yeah...sort of like this confused but ...errr...not... or maybe a smile scratching his head... idea!!!!

Cleanclean Wednesday, August 1, 2007 2:34:54 AM

Or one just kind of bobbing/floating along meditating ... smile

Sarah Dreamsangel292005 Wednesday, August 1, 2007 3:06:54 AM

or at least on that is sitting crossed legged with thumb and forefinger together........

I found yours!!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Cleanclean Thursday, August 2, 2007 3:23:16 AM

bigeyes Sweet ... !

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