Rain and a Dream
Thursday, June 28, 2007 4:44:50 PM
The flooding has not affected my house in particular but further south in a town called Marble Falls it is flooding many homes, sadly. I have been through Marble Falls; it is a beautiful town with the Colorado River running through it. It is an amazing site to enter Marble Falls seeing the elegant course of the river from a higher elevation. I just can’t explain how enamored I was at the site and mentioned to my husband that I would love to live there if we ever got the chance! There is something about rivers that draws me in and captivates my interest. I am amazed at the strength that mother nature has at times being the same stable entity for hundreds of years, only to surprise you suddenly and take back from you what is Hers. Sometimes with a vengeance. She can make you feel warm and safe one minute and the next make you feel as if you are only one small part of her plan. If you don’t work with Mother Nature the punishment will be swift and harsh and your mind may never grasp the wrath she beholds. (the end)

Last night I dreamed that I was in the back of my parent’s station wagon as we drove from North Carolina to Texas when I was a child. I felt safe there staring at the back of Dad’s and Mom’s head and glancing out the window at the passing land. I could hear conversation between the two of them; no particular words only the deeper sound of his voice and the higher wispy tone of mom. This moment seemed to last forever and was one that I wanted to live and linger in. Now, I realize that was the time that I felt safest in my life, trusting them to do what was best for us with not a worry or concern in the world.
When have you felt the safest and might it take a dream to bring back that memory?

Sarah













Bad WolfCois # Thursday, June 28, 2007 6:06:12 PM
Be it in someones arms or a warm piece of freshly baked bread like the way my mum used to make.. But safe.. I don't think so..
Stardancer # Thursday, June 28, 2007 7:49:46 PM
I've only felt safe one time in my life, and that was just a week-and-a-half ago. Like Cois, I've felt comforted, but safe is a rare feeling for a lot of people, I think. Especially in today's world. Too many uncertainties.
Nice post, Sarah.
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:24:09 PM
Well....feeling safe means (to me) that you don't have to THINK or WORRY about your actions and how they will affect you or others around you. Safe, secure....is this not a common feeling? (as a child)
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:25:51 PM
I would love to know your thoughts.
Bad WolfCois # Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:44:03 PM
I never was carefree.. Younger maybe, but I don't remember much.. just that I had a dad that you had to tiptoe around..
I ran away so many times.. even once sleeping in a dog house.. Older, after school it was straight to work in the shop.. Safe for me now is no financial worries, a roof over my head, clothes on my back.. all material things..
Bad relationships made me cynical of finding love.. no one ever made me feel 'safe' coz disappointment was the order of the day..
So in my life I'm suspicious of everything and almost everyone.. Can you understand why I say I've never felt safe?
Lana ClaycampLadella # Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:46:06 PM
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:53:19 PM
Yes, that makes complete sense to me....I have the feeling some-days of not feeling financially safe but not so much that it would give me the 'overall' feeling of being insecure. What happens to us as children can carry over into our adult life, sadly. Your mind is remembering experiences that prevents you on being truly happy and with feelings of security. Wow, money does play a part as well. Sometimes it just makes me so sick the way that money can sway a person's overall well being...it just isn't fair sometimes. About relationships......I wish that I could say more publicly but I won't....because I have so many issues there of pushing people away thinking that they would have left anyway! :( It is NOT complicated..clear to me what I am doing...yet...I still do it. Someday I will learn not to be so paranoid...I hope.
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:57:28 PM
It is still raining HARD outside! You be careful when coming over here to Meg's the kids are happy right now thank God and in the room with Riah watching a movie.
Bad WolfCois # Thursday, June 28, 2007 10:01:24 PM
MarcusFXM256 # Thursday, June 28, 2007 11:40:27 PM
Hiteshahitesha # Friday, June 29, 2007 10:44:20 AM
Your post has really got everybody thinking
I dont recollect, or lets say I cant point one particular moment when I felt safe, secure, protected, hassle-free...
What I do know, is that right now, I would live for that just one moment to feel SAFE just once again! No matter how brief..
Ummm Cois,
There's a new side I see to you through these comments. And I suddenly am in awe of your ability to laugh and mae others laugh, despite the past..
Wish I had your strength
Hiteshahitesha # Friday, June 29, 2007 10:44:52 AM
Kay FourKayFour # Friday, June 29, 2007 1:11:02 PM
They tried to help the three men inside the car and one of them had a bad head wound. They kept wrapping towels around his head, but they still soaked through in just a few seconds.
This was in the days before they had 9-1-1 and my uncle had to drive to a gas station that was nearly ten miles away to call the police. They finally arrived, but it was too late for the one man.
My aunt and uncle came back to our house with the story, but what freaked me out was that she was covered in blood... the man's blood. It was very graphic and left an impression on me. A BIG one. I realized then that people I really know can be involved in terrible thing.
Ramuteramute # Friday, June 29, 2007 4:44:43 PM
Warmly, Ramute.
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Friday, June 29, 2007 5:08:07 PM
~Sarah~
Bad WolfCois # Friday, June 29, 2007 5:21:43 PM
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Friday, June 29, 2007 6:02:08 PM
I can see why you think that 'hope' is evil. Because to me hope can be seen as a thought..and I really do think that evil things and so on are in our imagination.(it all exist in the mental only which leads to physical acts) But that is just MY way of thinking. Honestly...I try to have a positive outlook on this life. I try to look over all the evil and unfair justice that this world seems to dish out on a daily basis.
Bad WolfCois # Friday, June 29, 2007 6:33:51 PM
I'm usually a happy go lucky guy that portrays all sense of being content.. but like everyone else I have a viewpoint on life.. sometimes the cynic in me surfaces and unfortunately I'm a black hole..
Think I'll do as I always do and suck it up, retreat and smile.. not a nice move but it's all I know that makes me feel safe.. yai!
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Friday, June 29, 2007 6:43:00 PM
At any rate...back to life.
Stardancer # Friday, June 29, 2007 6:49:51 PM
Maybe some people are able to experience that regularly throughout their lives.
I hope so.
And I agree with your mom.
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Friday, June 29, 2007 6:55:48 PM
Stardancer # Friday, June 29, 2007 7:09:13 PM
Seriously, I think it's very important that we don't stop trying to find those safe places--with family, friends, new friends, new thought patterns, and new behavior patterns.
I have that same tendency that you mentioned of shoving people away before they hurt me (because I know they're gonna, right?), and I have to really work hard not to do that.
I understand your struggle with that, believe me.
I get very withdrawn when I'm hurt, like a puppy licking its wounds, I guess. And the more often I get hurt, the harder it is for me to "come back" from that withdrawal.
Someone asked me once if I was a hermit, and I answered, "No, but I understand the mentality."
And I really think I do.
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Friday, June 29, 2007 7:19:25 PM
Like…..for many years while I was married…..I thought that he was the one who was
going to stray and cheat…only to find out he had those fears against me!!! He had some deep seeded feelings of abandonment from the way that his mother treated him growing up, so he assumed that I also was going to leave him. For 7 years my husband and I fought about this and finally he opened up to me telling me the truth. HE learned to let go and our marriage just opened to another level when that happened.
I felt like….if he has fears, and I have fears, then we MUST just be HUMAN. So let’s live life and have fun anyway!
Right now I know that my husband has ummmm social anxiety fears….even though he hates to admit it. When we go into public he becomes a different person becoming uptight and it takes a miracle for him to just relax (usually alcohol) whoa I am way off subject, but it’s relaxing to talk about.
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Friday, June 29, 2007 7:23:43 PM
Gosh I am so exhausted from such a busy week that I just want to chat online all day!
Cleanclean # Tuesday, July 31, 2007 1:36:37 PM
Got it ... ?
Now you realize that you can call up that feeling any time you like (like you just did) ... at will. You can therefore apply that feeling at any time of the day or night, whatever situation you're in, whenever you like.
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Tuesday, July 31, 2007 1:45:29 PM
Cleanclean # Tuesday, July 31, 2007 1:47:18 PM
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Tuesday, July 31, 2007 1:53:38 PM
Cleanclean # Wednesday, August 1, 2007 2:34:54 AM
Sarah Dreamsangel292005 # Wednesday, August 1, 2007 3:06:54 AM
I found yours!!
Cleanclean # Thursday, August 2, 2007 3:23:16 AM